Instant Hippo Thoughts – Week 11

King Hippo

King Hippo

Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan.Also a proud fookin’ Evertonian.Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child.[Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
King Hippo

This week was indeed a Thing that Happened.

First off, let’s congratulate Buffalo Bills first-year coach Sean McDermott, who benched Tyrod Taylor (perfectly decent QB of a 5-4 side) for J. Peterman.  You know, the catalog guy from Seinfeld’s later years.  I guess he wanted to see what he had, and boy howdy, did he get a definitive answer.  Five first half pickerceptions v. the Shitty Clippers.  The dozens of home L.A. supporters were delighted, as their footy squadron held on for a 54-24 victory.  Tyrod finished off half #2, mercifully.

The Mexico game was no better, as the altitude acclimated (having played in Denver last week) P*ts ass-blasted pre-Vegas 33-8.  Gostkowski kicked an air-aided 62-yard FG that brought Jeeeeem to orgasm.  Yeah, that kind of late window.

In other late news, Denver still sucks, and lost to the Striped Pylons at home by 3.  Marvin Lewis’ last play of the first half kicker icing proved the difference.  Yeah, that kind of Donks season.

Who is the best team in FOOTBAW?  Some peoples needlessly ask.  Well, maybe it’s the Vikings after all.  They soundly defeated visiting RRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!, holding the NFL’s best offensing unit to 7 measly points in the process.  Consider yourself on notice, NFC.  The road to the Superb Owl goes through Bird Murder Dome, even if Case Keenum stays in at QB.

Breesus needed to come back to life in order to turn back the visiting Redacteds, and resurrect he did.  15 points in the last 5 minutes to force OT, then driving for the game winning FG after the stunned ‘dacteds punted in added time.  Dingleberry Cousins was really good, and Chris Thompson borked his leg.  It was gross.

It looked as if the Giants would hilariously suffer the same fate as their division chums, choking away their upset late in regulation.  But Kansas City continued to sputter offensively in OT, and a circus catch by Roger Lewis set up a chip shot game winner, 12-9.  What an epic shitshow this one was.  Tint Hands has to start taking a fucking chance, or this will be the usual wet fart playoff exit for this boring white bread footballing squadron.

Detroit is still pretty bad outdoors in the cold, but the Bearistocrats! still employ Connor Barth as their kicker, and this hath made all the difference.

Team MRSA beat Miami, despite Matt Moore’s fine comeback after Catler’s terribad day was mercifully cut short by a head owie (not that one wishes him hurt, just that he was stinking up the field already, and I couldn’t think of a nice way to phrase it).  Neither of these teams is worth a shit.

Speaking of not worth a shit…Green Bay without Aaron Rodgers.  Zero points at home to goddamned Baltimore.  Res ipsa loquitor.

Savage Garden defeated The Flow in a game that surprisingly featured 52 offensive points.  Proof positive that betting on professional football is folly, yet we continue to do it.

#The Pauls hosted Odd Week Jaguras in pretty decent strength sleet and yeah, it was about what you would expect.  The score was very close (and low) until late, when the Odd Week powers became too much to overcome, and JAX scored defensively to cover, 19-7.

Leaving us with Dakota v. DAK! on Sunday Night Footy.  It was a weird match, with the Iggle kicker getting Trent Greened early, and pass interference got the night off.  Dallas’ defense fell apart during Q3, then I got bored/mad (given my gaming interests).

King Hippo
King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]

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Moose -The End Is Well NighLow Commander of the Super SoldiersOld School ZeroSenor WeaseloKing Hippo Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like the angrier angry Hippo tone.

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Yesterday was the first time I actually sat down and watched any NFL football with more than a passing interest all season. That led the Edsel’s to put up nearly 50 points, and it’s totally related and shut up, I can’t hear you!

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Old School Zero

Happy Mike McCoy got fired again day!

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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WCS

P*ts ass-blasted pre-Vegas 33-8.

laserguru

It was quite the happy and excited footballing weekend in the right household. Hopefully thanksgiving will be just as festive.

Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!
Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I didn’t get to watch the Raiders game cause I was hosting family. Thank God.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

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YOU ARE MOST WELCOME, PATHETIC HUMAN HEATHEN!

Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!
Buddy Cole's Off-Season Habit!

It’s like Uncle Ed used to say, “Betting on football is like getting a handjob from a 17 year old, they’ve both resulted in me becoming an unabashed degenerate.” Also, I’m proud to announce my Uncle Ed will be taking control of my account on Thanksgiving. I told him no racial humor, because yes, “those people” have computers now.

Watched some of the Giants game with my father. When they suck, he and my mother go out for lunch because he’d rather do that than watch this game. Mind you, the Roger Lewis catch was on a 4th and 5 from the Chiefs 36 because they didn’t trust their kicker from that distance.

Doktor Zymm

I started DAK and the Iggles kicker. Got me 2.8 points COMBINED. Fantasy football, football betting, it’s all smh

ballsofsteelandfury

RAMMIT disintegration is proceeding nicely. Unfortunately, this team is too young and inexperienced to succeed this year. The big question is whether they learn their lessons and make the leap next year. More likely is that they get discouraged and never reach their potential.

blaxabbath

Will be interesting to see what they do against a real schedule next year. Maybe ‘19.

laserguru

Or maybe they just got their asses handed to them by a vastly superior opponent. That can happen.

blaxabbath

The Cardinals are absolute dog shit. Mathieu will be on the market next year as he’s a “needs a change of scenery” guy. Will probably end up in SEA. Arians – and, hey, i like the guy – is too stubborn to be a Head Coach. If the wide outs can’t run a route or secure a catch (sans #5 all time receiving yardage threat, Larry11) and you won’t go get new WRs, then one could give a shit if Flow or Stanton is better. Also, the Texans D was hot garbage too — I’d have looked like, at least, a Steve Young against them.

This is a shit franchise that needs to move to LA.

ballsofsteelandfury

I like the concept of all the shit franchises moving to LA. It’s like the NFL version of relegation.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I would very much like to support the moving of the Browns to LA.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What a weird euphemism

Senor Weaselo

“And then build a wall around it.” -Trump