Your “Maybe Look In The Mirror, St. Eligius” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

I guess I owe Pete & Blair a big ‘Thank You’. Due to their individual field goaling abilities, it looks like I won’t have to pay for Seahawks playoff tickets this season. Unless RAMMIT! somehow chokes away their one-game lead.

(PLEASE, no Ron Howard voice.)

NFL News:

  • JuJu Smith-Schuster has a soft hammy, and may sit out this weekend’s game versus the Packers.
    • They won’t need him, and Martavis Bryant can use the extra reps as a an audition for that huge contract he’s pining for that he won’t get from the Steelers.
  • Datone Jones has managed to play for three teams so far this season, and is looking for a fourth due to being cut by the Niners yesterday.
    • He’s suited up for the Vikings, Lions & Niners this year.
  • Ken Norton Jr. has been fired by the Raiders.
    • He’s been replaced as DC by John Pagano, Chick’s brother.
  • Good Bears news: Zach Miller has been released from a New Orleans hospital & is returning home to Chicago to rehabilitate.
    • He’s still in hospital, as doctors continue to monitor the artery that got torn when he dislocated his kneecap.

Finally, nfl.com goes in a little hard on John Elway, talking about how the draft classes he’s presided over are more responsible for the Broncos being “soft” than the players themselves.

  • Specifically, they note how Peyton Manning was a stroke of fortune rather than genius. If that hadn’t happened, Tebow might still be a Bronco instead of a Met.

Vance Joseph, who clearly doesn’t want to get fired, agreed with his boss:

He’s watched every meeting. He’s watched every practice. He watches every game. When he said that, I was initially offended. But in some aspects, he’s right. When you’ve lost that many games in a row, you have to do things in a tougher manner.

Von Miller, who clearly has better things to do, followed up on the coach’s assessment:

He’s the head guy. His comments—he’s the boss. That’s what he said. He said it. I was kind of taken back by it, which you should. If you have any type of emotion about you, your reaction should be ‘What? I’m not soft?’ But, if you take a look back at it, the truth is that’s what we’ve been putting out there. That’s the type of team that we’ve developed into. That’s what we got. It’s the truth. He’s telling the truth.

However, and forgive the rambling observation but I need to pad this thread a tad, the Donks defense only gave up 13 points against the Bengals – a 99-yard pick-6 was the rest – so they did their job. This is what brings the focus back on High Lord Elway and his inability to determine a viable QB option going forward from, really, the time of his takeover. Because the former heir apparent, Brock Osweiler, turned out to be a giant turd, and the future heir apparent, Paxton Lynch, the apparent starter this Sunday versus the Raiders, is hurt all the time. Last I checked, no one trusts Aqib Talib to throw anything.

To piece together a conclusion from several paragraphs of David Ramsey’s column in the Colorado Springs Gazette, because his words sound angrier than my apathy can muster, this is a team severely lacking in offensive weapons. This is a franchise let down by Elway, its godfather and greatest hero. Elway went – can we say it? – a little soft in the offseason. He designed a team destined for disaster. His mistakes, and they are many, have tormented Broncos fans during six straight losses. His mistakes produced several thousand empty seats on Sunday. It can be fixed; the only issues are personnel and time.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Canucks at Flyers – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Oilers at Blues – 8:00PM | NBCSN / Sportsnet Prairies
  • Futbol:
    • MLS Soccer Playoff:
      • Columbus Crew SC vs. Toronto FC (Leg 1) – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN
      • Houston Dynamo vs. Seattle Sounders (Leg 1) – 9:30PM | FS1 / TSN (10:00)
  • NBA:
    • Bulls at Lakers – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
  •  NCAA:
    • Football:
      • Kent State at Akron – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Hoops:
      • A Maui Invitational consolation semifinal:
        • Chaminade vs. Michigan – 8:00PM | ESPN2
        • Notre Dame vs. LSU – 10:30PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • SmackDown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

Hey Elway, remember Job 39:19 – Hast thou given the horse strength? hast thou clothed his neck with thunder? Your choices makes your team’s future. TEBOW COULD’VE TOLD YOU THAT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Wakezilla

Hurray for finally finishing my work! I get to repeat this shit tomorrow. Until then,. .

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Unsurprised

Hooray for Sexy Thanksgiving Wednesday!

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Wakezilla

Now this is something I could get behind

Wakezilla

Oh look, Penn State got around to honouring Jerry Sandusky

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Wakezilla

Any other insomniacs out there?

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Unsurprised

Yeah, but I’m going to bed now. I need to get a pie at Costco in the morning. God help me.

Wakezilla

Be safe, fellow KSK refugee. I got into a car accident at a Costco parking lot last weekend. I was pissed.

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Unsurprised

Yes, you did. Lucky for us, we’re about to get our first Muslim U.S. Senator as a consolation prize.

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laserguru

Just a quick aside. Loving Vincent was incredible. It should win best art direction. It will also go down as one of the best tripping balls movies ever.
Big screen alert.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Do you degenerates have a view on Ted Ginn or Adrian Peterson in the flex?

ballsofsteelandfury

Gin

BrettFavresColonoscopy

How botanical of you

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Ginn

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Looking forward to work tomorrow.

Senor Weaselo

It’s nice to get paid in money. It is slightly better to get paid in money and chocolate.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Whew, smoke detector didn’t go off.
Now I gotta eat tho. G’night shitmonkeys.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kG-1ibZOJzk

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, gravity bong is a misnomer. It’s water/air pressure, not gravity.

Also, I mean I have no idea what a gravity bong is.

Senor Weaselo

What is important is gravity!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zB6pvQt0I8s

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gravity brings you to the couch after you have a few.

Senor Weaselo

But I just got here!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I doubt sleep will happen tonight.
I’ll prolly be back after I eat.

And wow, that sounds pretty goddamned arrogant of me now that I think about it.

(I’m lost….I’ve gone to look for myself….etc. etc.)

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Let us know if you find Jesus

Mr. Ayo

Wait. Are you the you that’s supposed to stay here or are you the you that’s supposed to find the you that stayed here?

Where’s Dave when you need him?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh shit. My food is burning.
GODDAMN YOU FUNNY ASSHOLES!!!!!!