Your “3 Games But Only 1 Really Counts” NFL Football Open Thread

Is everything going to plan? I hope you and yours (if you’ve got a ‘yours’-I didn’t for the longest time and it was a mixed blessing) have got your shit together and are in the home stretch as far as getting organmazized. I only just now figured out that there’s no nighter tonight due to the double-header on tap tomorrow. I’ll not likely be able to catch the first one-I’ll be chained to a stove cooking my buttocks off or chained to a boring conversation having my ear chewed off. (“Do you know Fred Sassafrass? No? Let me tell you some juicy gossip about him anyway.”) I DON’T CARE! Guh. It’s the same damn thing every time. Are  the in-laws happy for someone when they do well for themselves? That would balance things out a bit. But no, that never happens. Forget about this silly tangent of mine. TO THE GAMES!

Jacksonville/San Fran:

Both have won 4 of their last 5 so it’s a bit interesting but not all that much. It’s good to see that there is life in the Niners after the acquisition of The World According to Janine Garoppolo. He’s been hitting at a 69% rate and will likely end up being the team leader in throwing yards having started a measely five whole games! He might end up being what Jerry Richardson calls “one of the good ones” but for now he’s simply hopped over a very low bar.

Seattle/Dallas: 

YAY! The “FEED ME” gesture is back and ready to make this cranky old fart toss something towards the TV tube. (not that close-she’s a beauty) With Atlanta crapping all over the field as of 3:48 EST, this game looks like a “separating the wheat from the chaff” type game. That excellent Seahawks run D you’ve heard about over the years gave up almost 250 yards vs. the Rammers last week. Oof.

New York Giants/Arizona:

Many have said that… Blech! Why bother? You’re not watching this travesty unfold.

Game on, Frenchy!

 

 

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King Hippo

#FGrange

theeWeeBabySeamus

You’re gonna give Spur a stroke if’n you keep it up.

Spur

bail out flag.

rockingdog

I suspect Giants offense gonna put up a goose egg….

Spur

Dallas could just run the ball every down.

Fronkenshteen

Ya think?! At least as much as Gurley and Bell run the ball. Dak is the fucking DEFINITION of an ESPN superstar. Fuck him.

Spur

I’m sure Princeton boy hasn’t thought of it

theeWeeBabySeamus

Unsportsmanlike? That’s the best ad the Salvation Army ever got.

King Hippo

tis Zeke mockery, IIRC

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well then I’ve totally missed something.
But I don’t object to the Zeke mockery, of course.

Spur

Dammit Dak.

King Hippo

worry not, Bailey has 2 more FGs in him

Spur

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rockingdog

Keelan Cole doing OK. just need that TD…. would be nice.

Fronkenshteen

My son is 6 this year & this will be the first year Santa visits him at his house, instead of Grandma’s. I’m FIRED UP to write the note from Santa, produce the carrot ends and apple cores from the reindeer, and leave a tiny piece of cookie on the plate. We aced his list, too, so he’ll be on top of the world in the morning.
Thanks a million for these open threads, and I hope you guys have the holidays you need.
Cheers!
/passes out in hummus

Spur

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King Hippo

that’s the Tomsula Spirit!

theeWeeBabySeamus

grumble grumble

Might as well go eat dinner.

Spur

thank god for Sean Lee.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Larry Fitzgerald hates me. That’s what it is.
GET IN LINE LARRY!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

Question: when do you celebrate/gift exchange? Christmas Eve night or Christmas Morning?

...

Morning.

litre_cola

In the morning all hungover.

Doktor Zymm

My family has always done Eve.

yeah right

It really depends on when the get together is. We did some presents last night with eldest right and family. Hell, I did gifts last Monday with youngest right when I was in San Diego. The bothers and I will exchange on Christmas morning.

Spur

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King Hippo

glasses Brita is bestest Brita

Spur

Britta or Annie?

rockingdog

Britta

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes.

Spur

i’m going to miss him when he leaves for Denver next year.

litre_cola

It is going to be truly delicious. With those pieces they could win a SB

King Hippo

oh merde, stupid Engram got hurt, Bailey needs to keep this FG train rolling.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

c’mon, FIGHT ye Fightin’ Tomsulas!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

All Bortles all the time!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Although someone does need to do something about Fournette. That guy is killing me.

Spur

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

16 first half kicker points. Championship material

rockingdog

If you guys are bored with football, here is a cool article about a cool car guy…
http://www.roadandtrack.com/car-culture/classic-cars/a14453949/the-only-mclaren-f1-technician-in-north-america/

Spur

this is a bad FG attempt.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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Spur

2 quick throws into the endzone?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Speechless.

rockingdog

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Brick Meathook

What kind of complete architectural modeling failure allows that sunlight to stream onto that football field on Sunday afternoons?

Spur

am only approving those plans once, now fuck off – Double J

Viva La Tabula Raza

It was cloudy the day they walked the site to lay out the stadium.

JustStopDude

Time for the Hue Jackson Performance Update!

Hue Jackson, a man that gets paid a LOT of money to win football games in the NFL, is a snazzy 1 win in 31 attempts, for a massive 3.22% winning percentage.

Highlights this week include throwing not only his rookie QB under the bus, but also his running back, who last week 72 yards on 5 attempts. Why did Hue not continue the successful running game? Because per his weekly press conference, any asshole could run through those holes and he double down on the fact that the Browns don’t have “real players”.

I think its obvious now that old Hue here is intentionally tanking the team in the hopes Haslam fires him so he gets paid an extra year for doing shit and he can try and keep this “I’m a good coach…I just never got the players I wanted” theme that only Mike Brown and a few select (read that as “functionally retarded”) Bengal fans believe.

At this point, I would trade the overall first round draft pick if it gets rid of fucking Hue Jackson. It is staggering to watch a man so incredibly bad at his job, wasting insane gobs of money, masturbating on the sidelines.

Fronkenshteen

I’ll never forgive him for RUINING Jeremy Hill.

Spur

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Spur

all your fault Dez.

litre_cola

Basketball down

Brick Meathook

What did I miss? Dez just dropped a ball and suddenly Seattle is in the red zone?

Spur

yep

Brick Meathook

and . . .

Brick Meathook

Oh the Dez drop was a turnover. I missed that part.

Doktor Zymm

I might walk over to the golf course to get dinner. Probably will not watch the late game, since have to wake up early for snorkeling tomorrow.

King Hippo

none of us are watching teh late game

Doktor Zymm

Oh, righto, all this weird preplayoff scheduling is confuzzing me this year

...

The Grinch Stole The Night Game

King Hippo

BLEERGH-kakke

King Hippo

I like Mike Davis. Dunno why he isn’t used more.

rockingdog

Gotta think he is their replacement for Marshan Lynch…

Petronel

So, uh, Dez…you can shut up now, right?

Spur

Really Dez, Really.
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Brick Meathook

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Spur

stupid dallas.

theeWeeBabySeamus

– JFK

Beastmode Ate My Baby

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Doktor Zymm

We’ve replaced the entire Seahawks O-line with Folger’s Crystals, let’s see how long it takes to get the Charmslinger killed!

Spur

Wilson is scary when he runs like that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Those Wisconsin QB’s just never learn.

(Hippo will find this as funny as me…the rest of you prolly not)

Doktor Zymm

Cmon some sort of ocean birds!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Make the noise, Dok!!!!!!!

Doktor Zymm

That was suuuuper fun

Spur

i rooting for the feral house cats to eat their eggs.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Dez going all Jameis n junk.

Spur

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King Hippo

a rape in front of all those ppl? On Shitsmas EVE??

King Hippo

can’t wait for when the other games go to half and we get to laugh at Elisha for 15 minutes solid