Much has been made of the chicken wing donation and the $300,000+ that has been donated to Andy Dalton’s “Spare The Red Child Foundation” and rightfully so. It’s makes all the rubes out there feel good in all their feeling places and might just do some concrete good in the world. Does this translate to a win on an actual football field for the Bills? To answer that we must go…TO THE GAME!
Buffalo/Jacksonville:
Here’s the thang-it looks like a bad matchup for the squadoo from upper New York State. The Jags lead the league in rushing offense and the Bills are ranked 30th in stopping that there run. That’s a double “Oof!” as I read it. Weaknesses and strengths tend to magnify themselves in the playoffs and I can’t see the Jags regressing that much.
Injury:
There’s a report out there that Shady McCoy, following a strict regimen of spa treatments and the ingestion of a stewy concoction of various flightless bird juices, (“try the emu, it’s got a nutty aftertaste!”) is ready and raring to go. Otherwise, it’s a long way down to Mike “He’s in the league still?” Tolbert and some Murphy kid and all of his 8 career carries.
Positive Bortles(?):
The fella has some good numbers at home including a 64% completion rate and a nifty 15/5 TD to intercept stat.
My Hot Takeaway:
The Bills will have to force turnovers early in order to offset the steady, belly-filling diet of Fournette that will be stuffed down their gullet. If the Jags get up by two scores early, no amount of broken tables can bring the Bills back.
Pound that keyboard like the champ that you are!
brady, big ben, whatever team manning was on, that one time flacco was actually elite
that’s all the afc have offered us since 2003
Donks in the Big L WOO!!!! I even bought commemorative coasters for my recluse lair.
I look forward the episode of SWAT where a pair of shitty incel gamers send a SWAT team to a fake address to blow away a random guy for the lulz.
Can we just reconfigure the NFL with like a third of the teams done away with?
Do a Premier League relegation: The two teams in the NCAA title game move up, (their senior can get paid, but have to stay in school to “finish” their “Master’s” in whatever), and the bottom two NFL teams move down to the conferences of the teams in the title games.
While relegated all NFL players had to “attend” “class” and “work on” the “degrees” they didn’t get the first time they “attended” college.
Pro bowl skills competition between Tyrod and Bortles PLEASE
Never mind throwing a football through a tire, I don’t think either of these guys could hit a football with a tire.
Only the greatest game of H-O-R-S-E ever.
The Sabres scored a few minutes earlier FYI
Someone wave up the scoreboard operator.
insurmountable lead is insurmountable
Damn, I should have bet the over.
probably was 2.5, forgot to look it up
How the fuck did these 2 teams make the playoffs?
Remember, this is #EvenWeekJaguras
The AFC had a very down year, and someone had to.
for fuck’s sake, the Shitty Clippers almost made it! And they lost to fucking Denver!
Because 10 AFC teams touch themselves at night.
Insurmountable lead.
it does warm my heart that nance was forced (for some reason) to do this game
It’s a tradition unlike any other.
oh Rachel Brosnahan…
Pittsburgh and New England are watching this game, hoping to get the Working Bye Week.
This is to football games what Billy Madison’s allegorical comparison of The Puppy Who Lost His Way to the Industrial Revolution is to coherent thought.
I want to laugh at the absurdity of this game but the ultimately result of this level of futility is the goddamned Patriots walking into another Super Bowl.
Yes, but if the rumors are true one more Patriots win will probably give Brady-Kraft-Belichek reasons to all gracefully walk away from each other, leaving the Pats with no QB and no coach. The wailing and gnashing of teeth would be so glorious that I could almost tolerate another Pats Superb Owl triumph in exchange.
Almost.
OWAH SUFFERING IS THE WUHST!!! NOBODY DENIES THIS!!!
Nope. I want them to leave in shame, not glory. I hate all of them and want their legacies permanently stained.
I agree with this. If only SOME TEAMS had held a goddamn lead and extended it in the second half last year…
Trading DERPS: A Bills vs. Jags Story
This is indeed a football contest. I would not go so far as to call it a game.
We are witnessing a battle between Gods.
Loki is definitely one of them.
if it wasn’t Hauschka, I’d bet on a miss now
Jesus, no one wants to win this.
this will still be 0-0
DEAR CHRIST, just run with your fat guy
Nobody ever does this. I could’ve been the Mexican Christian Okoye.
So its 4th and -1?
BWHAHAHAHA!
oh jags
oh Bills
I was actually really looking forward to this game too, sigh
only reason I disagree re saving the timeout is what if they jump offside
REALLY was typing this whilst they were doing so
HAH!
NEVERMIND
If this game was scored by qb’s overthrows we’d be complaining about the lack of D.
This game will never end
OH HELL YEAH GO FOR IT
I’m just imagining what people 50 years from now will think about this discussion of when you’re allowed to hit a player in the head.
It’s probably not a bad bet to take the under on the NFL existing in 50 years.
NFL 5eva
Defenders jawing at a runner after giving up a first down are really stupid.
Ban the fucking endzone fade
“Speak for yourself!”
– A. Rodgers
“But then what do you do?” -P. Rivers
they are REALLY trying to get J Peterman into the match. They’ve watched film.
Wow…that was fucking blatant.
That should be an ejection for that hit.
Taylor is clearly down. and its a helmet to helmet contact.
It looks like they were seeing how far the refs would let them go without a call…
If this game remains this boring, I might do something interesting such as measuring the size of my cock and balls via water displacement.
When you discover the amount, don’t forget to yell “Eureka!”.
Make sure you use warm water. Cold water can skew the results.
Buffalo in FG range, call the game, they win, get to the CAR/NO game
Hauschka range!
Jacksonville is actually a surprisingly pleasant city, with decent public transportation
That hit was a no call because Tyrod Taylor isn’t a white guy named Tom Brady.
If it’s not the Eagles, I really want it to be the Bills that win it this year. I’d like to see it for Shady, but also, I remember cheering them on as they went down for every NFC East team that isn’t the Eagles. Also, for possible problematic OJ Simpson episodes after the win.
Recoil?
It’s a .380; no problem.
#Flightlessbirdjuiceftw
Kaep’s collusion case should just be game tape of all Jags offensive possessions today
Trump : Trump Voters :: Hollywood : Supports of Hollywood’s Activitism
You missed the joke by more than Bortles missed that pass.
I’m only saying that rich people are telling poor people how to life.
But nice counter-joke. Ha ha.
You missed it again.
Well, at least I finished putting my laundry away!
I like that one, I have strange euphemisms for masturbation too!
I feel dirty when the lass in the Verizon commercial says “The ‘V’ is sticking out.” Dirty in a good way …
[Watches Blake Bortles throw footballs]
“It’s time for the NFL to end.”
-Luke Skywalker