Your “Stupid Sexy NFC South!” Wild Card Playoff Game Open Thread

Well, we’re three down and only one more to go. I hope your belly is full of the things that you like and that you’ve hunkered down for the day. Not sure about you guys out there but the wind is howling and growling up here, blowing the darn snow everywhere.  A source in New Orleans has told me that the weather inside The Rich Fella’s Car Dome is hunky and dory, if you can believe it. So how will this thingy in front of our eyeballs play out? Let’s go…TO THE GAME!

Carolina/New Orleans:

There’s a 65% chance that this is the last time Jerry Richardson can look down on his team, metaphorically and physically. I guess I have to back up a bit here. The Saints have taken both tilts from the Panthers this year by a combined 31 points. What you’ll be hearing pre-game is that IT’S SO FREAKING HARD to beat a team three times in a season. Fact is, 65% of the time the winning team that has won before will end up being the winning team again and the losing team will be the same. Got that? No? Good.

Best RB in the league:

His name is Ingram Kamara and he’s run at a 4.7 ypc clip all season long. You should try and pick him up early in your fantasy draft next year.

It’s a fine line…:

As the Wallenda’s will no doubt tell you, ‘balance’ is of the utmost importance. Mr. Brees can state matter-of-factly that an adequate running game will cause you to drop to the ground behind the line of scrimmage only 20 times in 2017. That’s a 3% sack rate and the fewest times he’s been down in ten years. His 270 yards passing per game is the first time he’s been below 300 in six years.

My Hot Takeaway:

The Saints ain’t gonna lose this one.

Roar down below, mes petits tigres.

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Wakezilla
Member

Oprah Winfrey 2020 is trending. Because the last 18 months have been so spectacular, Americans are thinking, why not?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

As long as Westerns are being featured tonight, who’s going to round up a posse to go find Otto, MTWV, entropy, OSZ, et al?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

I shouldn’t. I have a history of scaring off good posse.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Same here. I mean, honestly, like half of us are the old town drunk.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Gratliff
Member

The older I get, the more i’m convinced this is the best movie ever made.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Should be a fun day at work tomorrow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

LAX is a shitshow tonight. Why didn’t someone warn me UCLA was starting back tomorrow? I presume several of you degenerates track the coeds’ calendars.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Oh yeah I forgot to tell you…

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

So that’s why balls has been fairly quiet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Artsy bell pepper or someone’s deflated scrotum?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Yes?

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

See how you thought of sex when you looked at the pepper?

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Brick, I think of sex when I look at a road sign

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Stop? Yield? Merge? Speed Limit?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Sploosh

yeah right
Member

I was just watching Heavy Metal and I really miss the hand drawn plates. My first tattoo was Taarna and that was 1981. Hell, Moebius drew some of that shit.
You kidding me?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Brian Doyle-Murray is so eerily skinny in Caddyshack.

Fronkenshteen
Member

He also has some DYNAMITE lines

yeah right
Member

Pick up that blood.

Gratliff
Member

It’s gonna be 48 degrees here on Thursday. It was -10 with a wind chill of -25 2 days ago. My body doesn’t know what to do with this shit.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Remain indoors.

Fronkenshteen
Member

Looks like I’m going to be leaving cooking in the hopes Customer Service pays more. Im such a goddamn coward.

yeah right
Member

Stay true to your cooking soul no matter where life takes you.

Fronkenshteen
Member

It’s easier for me to ask you cooking questions across the country than it is for me to ask guys cooking right in front of me at work. I’m sort of fucked up. But I’m big, and dopey, and pleasant, so I glide.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

tWBS did you say Venice Beach/Santa Monica? When?

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

I have it on good authority (twbs) that it’ll be mid May. Call it from the weekend of the 12th through the weekend of the 19th.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

So he can’t pick me up at LAX tonight then?

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Have you asked yeah right? It’s his neighborhood.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Hell, Balls has taken me to LAX before. I’m just getting in late (eg now) and getting up early tomorrow so would only torture tWBS.

Plus I’m not drinking right now so I’m not fun for them.

yeah right
Member

Now I can make that. Motherfucker gets handsy again he can get his own ride home.

Just kidding. I’ll set up the massage therapy.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Your finger slips ONE time and it changes the nature of every massage.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

You fuck one goat …

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Good to know.

WCS
Member

Here’s another sign we’ve reached the End of Days: WVU basketball is on track to be ranked #1 or #2. I’m pretty sure that’s the Fifth Seal.

Senor Weaselo
Member

I think we’d be on Sixth.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I just love Drew’s point that Trump and his crew are still just incompetent grifters who got lucky, and Michael Wolff came along and ran them like a pro tricking a couple of rubes because Wolff is a top-shelf grifter and liar.

WCS
Member

This is our reality.

I’m going back to drinking, and hoping the Stillers win a seventh Superb Owl before Judgement Day.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

If Judgment Day is coming, I want it to be completely bonkers. Go Jags.

Although I’m clearly more of a Tits man.

WCS
Member

HERE WE STILLERS, HERE WE GO!

At the very least, I can cling to that as we go into our goodnight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Wolff is not really a grifter or a liar (his “sin” is previously taking quotes from sources who wanted to be anonymous and using and attributing them, I suppose that is lying, or at least outing, burning, people certainly don’t like that) he didn’t have to be; he just had to ask a bunch of narcissistic assholes to talk about themselves and each other and they did; so the running them like a pro is completely true, except they ran themselves, he just helped. Once they started blabbering to him, he knew he had a best seller. His critics being Murdoch, Ailes, Trump, etc. actually lends him some credibility.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I’m not saying he’s wrong in this case. Maybe he’s better than I’ve read about him, which would make sense given how his other books are also about shitty people who are certainly the kind to be angry at people seeing them for the scum they are.

I guess what annoys me is that this isn’t going to change anything.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Wolff’s book on Murdoch fueled similar questions about his reporting practices. “Like the man he writes about, Wolff is a gossip who is very skilled at extracting information and sensing weakness,” the late media writer David Carr wrote in a New York Times review of the book in 2008.”

I would think he is a sleezebag; that’s likely why he did get access. Change anything? Probably not, just confirms some things.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

He has Shaq’s free-throw form.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Donald J. Trump
✔ @realDonaldTrump

….Actually, throughout my life, my two greatest assets have been mental stability and being, like, really smart. Crooked Hillary Clinton also played these cards very hard and, as everyone knows, went down in flames. I went from VERY successful businessman, to top T.V. Star…..

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Donald J. Trump
✔ @realDonaldTrump

….to President of the United States (on my first try). I think that would qualify as not smart, but genius….and a very stable genius at that!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Sorry if this already got posted. Stable Genius.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Isn’t the Stable genius usually the guy that scoops up the horse poop?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

In this case it is the guy who puts the shit there.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The Fat Fuck-in-Chief cleaned that diner out.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Man that’s a great photo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Anchorage, 1964; you probably knew that.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

Yeah, that was my guess. That is just an astonishing image on so many levels: historically, emotionally, aesthetically, technically, etc. There’s a lot going on there.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I was listening to some podcast about the radio reporter who did live coverage for a day and a half, the only person getting information out to the world, and it was just amazing.

It was also incredible to think that plate tectonic theory wasn’t really adopted until after that and yet by the time I was in elementary school so by the mid to late 80s it was just a fact we were taught.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you are interested; there is some great stuff from the residents of Homer, Alaska.

Col. Duke LaCross
Member

My mom lived in Anchorage at the time. She said her side of the street took some damage, the other side was completely annihilated.

Mr. Ayo
Member
Mr. Ayo

Doh!

Beerguyrob
Member

Did Greek restaurant deliveries tonight. Lotsa women ordering Greek food for their Golden Globes parties.

/wanted to make a girls with globes into Greek joke; chickened out

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

So you’re saying lotsa women are into Greek?

Beerguyrob
Member

Not as much as I was hoping for tonight.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

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ballsofsteelandfury
Member

The thing I love about that scene is that she leaves her stewardess hat on during sex.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The wings pin wouldn’t be visible because FX is prudish.

BrettFavresColonoscopy
Member

Uh, duh.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I was hoping Brick would make that comment.

Spur
Member
Spur

yum tits

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

When?

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Fronkenshteen
Member

Titans +13.5. Thoughts?

Spur
Member
Spur

2nd mortgage on the house

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Maybe even a third if you can wrangle it. Even if you don’t go to a reputable or “legal” lender.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

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Spur
Member
Spur

yum

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Move of her below.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

DirecTV’s onscreen guide abbreviates “Teen Titans Go” to…

Teen Tit.

Hehehehehehe

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Props for even being able to pick up that guy. I couldn’t do that.

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The Shape of Water is really good, y’all.

Also, I got my hair cut and it feels fantastic. I’m pretty sure they cut off two pounds of hair.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

That reminds me.
I need to shave my balls tonight.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

The greatest gif ever.

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rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

Wake up, sheeple! The Golden Globe is flat!

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I am going to go make dinner. 10:30pm, huh? Well, that’s 4 hours ahead of last night thanks to balls an hippo.

Then again, no mocha lapdances tonight.

*sigh*

Spur
Member
Spur

Emma Watson likes like a cunt

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Funny…I like like ’em too.

SonOfSpam
Member

Ok, g’nite everyone. Gotta get ready for STORMWATCH 2018 tomorrow.

And do some laundry. So much laundry.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Stop wearing pants.
It cuts it in half.

Night my friend.

SonOfSpam
Member

Guillermo Del Toro is The Shape Of Milkshakes.

SonOfSpam
Member

“Guys, stop the music. I no am finished with heavily-accented bloviation yet.”

WCS
Member

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SonOfSpam
Member

I really hope Oprah asks everyone to check under their chair, because 15 lucky attendees will win a trip to Bali. And Willem Dafoe is one of the winners.

Spur
Member
Spur

The Color Purple can make a grown man cry

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Specially if it’s on your nuts…

SonOfSpam
Member

I feel like Susan Sarandon should fuck right off.

Spur
Member
Spur

with me. I like them titties.

rockingdog
Member
rockingdog

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theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I once dated a blonder and shorter version of her.
It was better than it sounds.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

How were the TITS?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

For a chick who was 4’11″…not bad at all.

This was the chick I FINALLY taught to surf. You know that story.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

If she’s 4’11” without big tits, does she really exist?

SonOfSpam
Member

Dolly Parton? 1970s Dolly Parton could GET IT.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

2018 Dolly can get it.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Her daughter has nice tits, too.

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Bonus

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

I’m just going to post more of her daughter.

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Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Topless.

h

ttps://gfycat.com/FinishedRapidFlicker

h

ttps://gfycat.com/GroundedOffbeatAnt

h

ttps://gfycat.com/UnsteadyPlasticBrocketdeer

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Those are quite nice.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Hooray for genetics and Google.

Beerguyrob
Member

Hell-o Incognito window.

Spur
Member
Spur

that jaw could crack a coconut

SonOfSpam
Member

And shovel your driveway.

Spur
Member
Spur

am gonna friend you

SonOfSpam
Member

/changes legal name
//moves to Romania
///produces strange movie, is portrayed by Romanian James Franco in 2035

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Romanian James Franco turns out to be James Franco with a bad Dracula accent.

Spur
Member
Spur

Reese looks odd.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Is she missing her peanut butter cups?

monty this seems strange to me
Member

I was driving cross-state today and had to watch the Saints game on the radio. Guess who the commentator was? Dan Fouts. I saw his beard on the radio.

SonOfSpam
Member

The nominations for TV Comedy Actor were great, especially when Khaleesi said “Kevin Bacon, I Love Dick”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ArmedandHammered
Member
ArmedandHammered

Moose, all the images you post, I do this mental exercise of coming up with a story to go along with each one unless it is self explanatory, but for some reason, this one has me stumped.

SonOfSpam
Member

“Ma’am? Ma’am??? That’s the viceroy’s pig!”

Deep down, Anna knew, but her heart told her that Oinkers needed her now more than ever.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

LMFAO at “Oinkers”.

And I’m not even high.
And barely drunk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It was sort of a bad Kevin Bacon joke. Now cop/pig, baby pig, distress, state patrol, etc. I am not sure, but we know she makes it to the new brick house.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Prepare your anus, California!!!!!!! I’m coming home!!!!!

* Only temporarily for now (sigh)
** Not for four months (bigger sigh)

But still….WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go make use of this raging erection.

SonOfSpam
Member

What part of California? I need to know what areas to avoid later this year.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Majority in Venice Beach/Santa Monica.

But I’ll find ya either way.

SonOfSpam
Member

I’m a bodybuilder that hangs out on Venice Beach a lot. Just find the biggest guy with the smallest shorts and give me a hug. I’ll love it.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

/hugs every guy on Venice Beach
//wakes up sore in multiple places

SonOfSpam
Member

Yes, they will give you quite a workout.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

I prefer the stoned chicks with the light up hula hoops.
Potato, Potahto.

SonOfSpam
Member

Stoned chicks are our greatest national resource and need to be protected at all costs, especially from the evil elf Sessions.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

You haven’t heard my story about walking home really damn high from Santa Monica Pier to Venice last year I guess.

SonOfSpam
Member

Perhaps not. I’ll hear it this spring over an IPA or two.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

That my friend, is a date.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

SonOfSpam
Member

Don’t flatter yourself; you won’t get past 3rd base.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

If you say so.

Here, drink this.

LemonJello
Member
LemonJello

I was under the impression that 29 Palms was the anus of California.

/would recommend you not go there

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

It’s funny you say that. I had a very lovely stay in 29 Palms last May before the Joshua Tree night in hell.

ballsofsteelandfury
Member

Didn’t like the Bang Bus?

theeWeeBabySeamus
Member

Oh….THIS guy again.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

I think we found where Andy Warhol’s ashes are stored.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Oh, cool. Maybe I’ll be able to go back around then.

SonOfSpam
Member

Ewan McGregor just thanked his co-stars in Fargo, include Mary Elizabeth Winstead, but didn’t add “who I am fucking even though I am married” for some reason.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

MEW is also married apparently?

SonOfSpam
Member

Oh, that’s great too. They’re perfect together.

herodotus450
Member
herodotus450

Maybe neither of them got the memo that Fargo seasons don’t work the way the think they do.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Member
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam
Member

Didn’t realize cars like to sleep on their sides.

Unsurprised
Member
Unsurprised

Rob Bironas goes swimming.

Spur
Member
Spur

Dunkirk was badass.

Brick Meathook
Member
Brick Meathook

BEST EVACUATION EVER

SonOfSpam
Member

Tomorrow morning, after I ate a lot of chili for dinner.

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