Your “How Much Is Positive Karma Worth? /Asking For A City” AFC Wild Card Game Open Thread

Much has been made of the chicken wing donation and the $300,000+ that has been donated to Andy Dalton’s “Spare The Red Child Foundation” and rightfully so. It’s makes all the rubes out there feel good in all their feeling places and might just do some concrete good in the world. Does this translate to a win on an actual football field for the Bills? To answer that we must go…TO THE GAME!

Buffalo/Jacksonville:

Here’s the thang-it looks like a bad matchup for the squadoo from upper New York State. The Jags lead the league in rushing offense and the Bills are ranked 30th in stopping that there run. That’s a double “Oof!” as I read it. Weaknesses and strengths tend to magnify themselves in the playoffs and I can’t see the Jags regressing that much.

Injury:

There’s a report out there that Shady McCoy, following a strict regimen of spa treatments and the ingestion of a stewy concoction of various flightless bird juices, (“try the emu, it’s got a nutty aftertaste!”) is ready and raring to go. Otherwise, it’s a long way down to Mike “He’s in the league still?” Tolbert and some Murphy kid and all of his 8 career carries.

Positive Bortles(?):

The fella has some good numbers at home including a 64% completion rate and a nifty 15/5 TD to intercept stat.

My Hot Takeaway:

The Bills will have to force turnovers early in order to offset the steady, belly-filling diet of Fournette that will be stuffed down their gullet. If the Jags get up by two scores early, no amount of broken tables can bring the Bills back.

Pound that keyboard like the champ that you are!

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Redshirt

Come on. Keep running the ball, Bills. If you rush, you can pull it off!

blaxabbath

Regardless of who wins, it’d at least end faster.

rockingdog

get stuffed go Buffs!

blaxabbath

This is a good time to think about that Sammy Watkins trade in August.

King Hippo

Also, besides the odd/even week juju, JAX struggles against fellow physical sides (like BUF and TN), but pastes finesse sides like PIT.

And yes, the Yinzers are even more finesse than the P*ts. Look at how that game between those two ended.

ballsofsteelandfury

2 TDs on INT returns plus 1 90-yard run does not a finesse team make.

fleshwound_NPG
King Hippo

give that man a gold star

WCS

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Doktor Zymm

Damn, that is my new favorite quote

Doktor Zymm

How did their bye week not throw off the odd week/even week dynamic? I guess it’s week number overall, despite how many games they’ve actually played?

King Hippo

their bye was during an even week

King Hippo

and they crushed it on either side

Smithchez

Oh my god, they have a running timer?!

blaxabbath

Why isn’t that crowd erupting?

fleshwound_NPG

confused at the prospect of a playoff win

LemonJello

They took their Valtrex?

fleshwound_NPG

Rip off Bortles’ throwing arm and have him run every other down

Doktor Zymm

The funny thing, that’s Bud Lite guy is probably a fairly accurate depiction of some of histories stupider monarchs. Primogeniture has some severe drawbacks

Mr. Ayo

HARF! HARF! CHOCO TACO!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Just wait for President Trump Jr

...

Don Jr. is an usurper. All glory to The Barron.

Doktor Zymm

I don’t think it works if he’s locked in the Tower first

ThePirateSloth

Then can we follow that history out and have them horribly killed by an invading horde of Cider drinkers?

Doktor Zymm

I mean, that’s where I would go with it if I were the advertising agency for a competing product

LemonJello

Blake A-BORT-ion in action!

rockingdog

bahahahaha he drops the ball, picks it back up, then runs for the first down!
cue the clown music!

blaxabbath

Borgles should slide there.

fleshwound_NPG

HAVE HIM NEVER THROW

King Hippo

Surely if BUF ain’t never gonna adjust

Redshirt

Jacksonville beat Pittsburgh in Week 5?! How?!

King Hippo

ODD. WEEK.

fleshwound_NPG

same reason the bears beat the stillers…we don’t know, either

ballsofsteelandfury

5 Ben picks

WCS

THE BEN channeled his inner Tom Savage.

...

Because y’all need a pick me up, here’s a lip-syncing duck.

https://twitter.com/UWhispering/status/916661050350608384

Redshirt

See what happens when Andy Dalton sends you to the playoffs, Buffalo?!

...

It’s a like monkey paw wish: Dalton puts you into the playoffs but then you BECOME Dalton as a result.

Viva La Tabula Raza

“Why is my hair turning red?”
—Tyrod

blaxabbath

SMRT!

Spur

Jags play the Steelers if they win right?

WCS

Yarp.

fleshwound_NPG

define “play”

King Hippo

Jags FLATTEN the Stillers after they finish this shitshow

#OddWeekJaguras

fleshwound_NPG

AFC so trash

The AFL/NFL merger was a fucking mistake

Mr. Ayo

Jag on Jag sack

ThePirateSloth

HOW THA FUCK YA DOING BOYS AND GIRLZ*?!?!

*Girlz with a Z because I am fucking extreme to the max, bro

Gratliff

Do you not see the score?

ThePirateSloth

I just did. Now I need to drink to catch up to y’all.

Doktor Zymm

GALZ would also be acceptable

Doktor Zymm

or GRRRRRLZ if they are Jags fans

blaxabbath

X-cellent.

King Hippo

so…they had THIRTY-ONE goddamned seconds to snap it??

blaxabbath

Just got out of insidious 4. I see Hippo was wrong about BUF d vs JAX running game?

King Hippo

wha I say??

Thought I just said BUF would trouble them as a fellow physical side, and cover the spread (still 50/50 possible)

blaxabbath

Thought I read that BUF couldn’t stop the run and JAX’s running game was an unstoppable force?

Effectively.

Redshirt

I just want to note for the record that the NFL has gone down from a booth with a curtain to a guy wearing a bookbag backwards and holding an open cardboard box.

King Hippo

#FullTomsula

Doktor Zymm

Seems obvious, but they’re only about 50/50 on obvious video replay calls

King Hippo

Just get in quick kick formation, dodo birds

tomsellecksmoustache

Whats it going to be, Riveron?

Redshirt

Snap it!!!! You dumbasses…

Smithchez

How could a 7 point playoff game in the 4th quarter possibly be so fucking boring?

...

Somebody get the tables!

Petronel

Just got home from sudden errand run (grumble), was mildly annoyed about missing this. Guess I haven’t missed much.

Redshirt

Why throw deep?!

Gratliff

Flyera win again and are nearly respectable again.

King Hippo

back near the 50, get ready for the punt

fleshwound_NPG

keep giving it to fat man

King Hippo

I sure wouldn’t try that throwing nonsense no more

fleshwound_NPG

throw it to fat man and have him eat DBs

fleshwound_NPG

offensive penalty, 1st and 5

because…football?

Redshirt

Holding was five yards past Line to Gain, 10 yards later, its 1st & 5

King Hippo

welp, you got about 15% of it back, dipshit

fleshwound_NPG

holy fuck, bills

Gratliff

I’m sorry, Shady

King Hippo

He’s gonna lose that foot for NOTHING

BrettFavresColonoscopy

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King Hippo

oh, BLEERGH

Smithchez

A sack? the fuck?

King Hippo

That was a lateral!

King Hippo

JEEBUS, BORT!

fleshwound_NPG

dat cameraman’s face is our reaction to this whole game

Smithchez

Solid cameraman tackle

ballsofsteelandfury

WHY DOES THAT CHEERLEADER HAVE A JACKET ZIPPED UP?

Doktor Zymm

Because she’s cold?

King Hippo

we’uns in the South don’t cotton to this cold shit

Redshirt

Some women look hotter fully clothed.
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ballsofsteelandfury

There are better options

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Doktor Zymm

I’m sure if you send them a list of which cold weather clothing you most enjoy ogling they’ll totally take that into consideration for the future

Redshirt

Paddington 2? Why? I saw Paddington 1, and I’m still trying to figure out the plot.

Smithchez

The Bills are actively inuring themselves just to get this thing over with already

fleshwound_NPG

WHY IS HE STILL THROWING

LemonJello

We can’t have nice things?

King Hippo

I mean, they have the necessary 10 points, do they not?

Beerguyrob

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King Hippo

to be fair, neither of those tubby fellas seem to be The Juice’s blond ex-wife or a Jewish waiter, so they probably cool

fleshwound_NPG

“Taken: Commuter Taken, This Movie Is Another Taken”

Doktor Zymm

I think Russian Hackers broke into the NFL’s officiating software

King Hippo

Strong spot! Strong Commissioner!!