Much has been made of the chicken wing donation and the $300,000+ that has been donated to Andy Dalton’s “Spare The Red Child Foundation” and rightfully so. It’s makes all the rubes out there feel good in all their feeling places and might just do some concrete good in the world. Does this translate to a win on an actual football field for the Bills? To answer that we must go…TO THE GAME!
Buffalo/Jacksonville:
Here’s the thang-it looks like a bad matchup for the squadoo from upper New York State. The Jags lead the league in rushing offense and the Bills are ranked 30th in stopping that there run. That’s a double “Oof!” as I read it. Weaknesses and strengths tend to magnify themselves in the playoffs and I can’t see the Jags regressing that much.
Injury:
There’s a report out there that Shady McCoy, following a strict regimen of spa treatments and the ingestion of a stewy concoction of various flightless bird juices, (“try the emu, it’s got a nutty aftertaste!”) is ready and raring to go. Otherwise, it’s a long way down to Mike “He’s in the league still?” Tolbert and some Murphy kid and all of his 8 career carries.
Positive Bortles(?):
The fella has some good numbers at home including a 64% completion rate and a nifty 15/5 TD to intercept stat.
My Hot Takeaway:
The Bills will have to force turnovers early in order to offset the steady, belly-filling diet of Fournette that will be stuffed down their gullet. If the Jags get up by two scores early, no amount of broken tables can bring the Bills back.
Pound that keyboard like the champ that you are!
Come on. Keep running the ball, Bills. If you rush, you can pull it off!
Regardless of who wins, it’d at least end faster.
get stuffed go Buffs!
This is a good time to think about that Sammy Watkins trade in August.
Also, besides the odd/even week juju, JAX struggles against fellow physical sides (like BUF and TN), but pastes finesse sides like PIT.
And yes, the Yinzers are even more finesse than the P*ts. Look at how that game between those two ended.
2 TDs on INT returns plus 1 90-yard run does not a finesse team make.
oh shit
https://twitter.com/stevebraband/status/950105667167236096
give that man a gold star
Damn, that is my new favorite quote
How did their bye week not throw off the odd week/even week dynamic? I guess it’s week number overall, despite how many games they’ve actually played?
their bye was during an even week
and they crushed it on either side
Oh my god, they have a running timer?!
Why isn’t that crowd erupting?
confused at the prospect of a playoff win
They took their Valtrex?
Rip off Bortles’ throwing arm and have him run every other down
The funny thing, that’s Bud Lite guy is probably a fairly accurate depiction of some of histories stupider monarchs. Primogeniture has some severe drawbacks
HARF! HARF! CHOCO TACO!
Just wait for President Trump Jr
Don Jr. is an usurper. All glory to The Barron.
I don’t think it works if he’s locked in the Tower first
Then can we follow that history out and have them horribly killed by an invading horde of Cider drinkers?
I mean, that’s where I would go with it if I were the advertising agency for a competing product
Blake A-BORT-ion in action!
bahahahaha he drops the ball, picks it back up, then runs for the first down!
cue the clown music!
Borgles should slide there.
HAVE HIM NEVER THROW
Surely if BUF ain’t never gonna adjust
Jacksonville beat Pittsburgh in Week 5?! How?!
ODD. WEEK.
same reason the bears beat the stillers…we don’t know, either
5 Ben picks
THE BEN channeled his inner Tom Savage.
Because y’all need a pick me up, here’s a lip-syncing duck.
https://twitter.com/UWhispering/status/916661050350608384
See what happens when Andy Dalton sends you to the playoffs, Buffalo?!
It’s a like monkey paw wish: Dalton puts you into the playoffs but then you BECOME Dalton as a result.
“Why is my hair turning red?”
—Tyrod
SMRT!
Jags play the Steelers if they win right?
Yarp.
define “play”
Jags FLATTEN the Stillers after they finish this shitshow
#OddWeekJaguras
AFC so trash
The AFL/NFL merger was a fucking mistake
Jag on Jag sack
HOW THA FUCK YA DOING BOYS AND GIRLZ*?!?!
*Girlz with a Z because I am fucking extreme to the max, bro
Do you not see the score?
I just did. Now I need to drink to catch up to y’all.
GALZ would also be acceptable
or GRRRRRLZ if they are Jags fans
X-cellent.
so…they had THIRTY-ONE goddamned seconds to snap it??
Just got out of insidious 4. I see Hippo was wrong about BUF d vs JAX running game?
wha I say??
Thought I just said BUF would trouble them as a fellow physical side, and cover the spread (still 50/50 possible)
Thought I read that BUF couldn’t stop the run and JAX’s running game was an unstoppable force?
Effectively.
I just want to note for the record that the NFL has gone down from a booth with a curtain to a guy wearing a bookbag backwards and holding an open cardboard box.
#FullTomsula
Seems obvious, but they’re only about 50/50 on obvious video replay calls
Just get in quick kick formation, dodo birds
Whats it going to be, Riveron?
Snap it!!!! You dumbasses…
How could a 7 point playoff game in the 4th quarter possibly be so fucking boring?
Somebody get the tables!
Just got home from sudden errand run (grumble), was mildly annoyed about missing this. Guess I haven’t missed much.
Why throw deep?!
Flyera win again and are nearly respectable again.
back near the 50, get ready for the punt
keep giving it to fat man
I sure wouldn’t try that throwing nonsense no more
throw it to fat man and have him eat DBs
offensive penalty, 1st and 5
because…football?
Holding was five yards past Line to Gain, 10 yards later, its 1st & 5
welp, you got about 15% of it back, dipshit
holy fuck, bills
I’m sorry, Shady
He’s gonna lose that foot for NOTHING
oh, BLEERGH
A sack? the fuck?
“It’s called a bindle, mother-lover.”
-Jim Tomsula
That was a lateral!
JEEBUS, BORT!
dat cameraman’s face is our reaction to this whole game
Solid cameraman tackle
WHY DOES THAT CHEERLEADER HAVE A JACKET ZIPPED UP?
Because she’s cold?
we’uns in the South don’t cotton to this cold shit
Some women look hotter fully clothed.
There are better options
I’m sure if you send them a list of which cold weather clothing you most enjoy ogling they’ll totally take that into consideration for the future
Paddington 2? Why? I saw Paddington 1, and I’m still trying to figure out the plot.
Bortles is always one throw away from failure.
The Bills are actively inuring themselves just to get this thing over with already
WHY IS HE STILL THROWING
We can’t have nice things?
I mean, they have the necessary 10 points, do they not?
to be fair, neither of those tubby fellas seem to be The Juice’s blond ex-wife or a Jewish waiter, so they probably cool
“Taken: Commuter Taken, This Movie Is Another Taken”
I think Russian Hackers broke into the NFL’s officiating software
Strong spot! Strong Commissioner!!