Well, we’re three down and only one more to go. I hope your belly is full of the things that you like and that you’ve hunkered down for the day. Not sure about you guys out there but the wind is howling and growling up here, blowing the darn snow everywhere. A source in New Orleans has told me that the weather inside The Rich Fella’s Car Dome is hunky and dory, if you can believe it. So how will this thingy in front of our eyeballs play out? Let’s go…TO THE GAME!
Carolina/New Orleans:
There’s a 65% chance that this is the last time Jerry Richardson can look down on his team, metaphorically and physically. I guess I have to back up a bit here. The Saints have taken both tilts from the Panthers this year by a combined 31 points. What you’ll be hearing pre-game is that IT’S SO FREAKING HARD to beat a team three times in a season. Fact is, 65% of the time the winning team that has won before will end up being the winning team again and the losing team will be the same. Got that? No? Good.
Best RB in the league:
His name is Ingram Kamara and he’s run at a 4.7 ypc clip all season long. You should try and pick him up early in your fantasy draft next year.
It’s a fine line…:
As the Wallenda’s will no doubt tell you, ‘balance’ is of the utmost importance. Mr. Brees can state matter-of-factly that an adequate running game will cause you to drop to the ground behind the line of scrimmage only 20 times in 2017. That’s a 3% sack rate and the fewest times he’s been down in ten years. His 270 yards passing per game is the first time he’s been below 300 in six years.
My Hot Takeaway:
The Saints ain’t gonna lose this one.
Roar down below, mes petits tigres.
When Funchess has a family reunion, do you think they hang a Bunches of Funchess banner over the event?
White guy TD means Tyran rocks the white
Panthers goin extinct
Luigi has a less than impressive package.
wait until he gets his mushroom
“I’m-a a grower-a, not a shower-a!”
At least he can’t be accused of stuffing a toadstool in there.
He’s felt inferior ever since Mario got the series name
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VJ1rNz7bG8
Seriously though, are they named Mario Mario and Luigi Mario?
Per Word of God, yes.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Luigi#Surname
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ydBkyCXfao
GRITDOWN
WHITEGASM
look, players who can catch WEIRD!!
Quarteredbacks who can throw the ball within 10 yards of receivers. CRAZYVILLE!
And more than that, they can catch in such a way that it is ruled a catch!
Tell ya what, if I had a magician at my command who could turn inanimate objects into alcoholic beverages, I’d have a fucking house full of 18 year old Scotch.
Hey… wait… WAIT! YOU CAN’T FUCKING DRINK M–
/transforms in a scotch
/makes bubbling noiseS
If Bill Cosby had a wizard at his command his house would be full of quaaludes and Nyquil.
As much as I love scotch, you’re picking the wrong 18 year old item. Asian men is the correct answer.
“I’ll settle for a house full of 14 year olds.” Roy Moore
I’m not certain what sport I was watching in the first game and I’m pretty sure I didn’t like it.
21-6 at the half sounds nice
So….this is a thing in North Calacky?
News to me.
/wrecks car intentionally
//realizes he forgot to write the number down
///freezes to death
“What if we made roadside assistance… hornier?”
Down East area code, makes sense
I was gonna guess J-action-ville and Camp Lejeune but its Fayette-Nam and Ft. Bragg.
potato, po-YEE-HAW!!!!
Believe it or not, that was my area code when I lived in Rougemont (just south of Roxboro). Weird area code.
Reading the fine print tells me that while they are unavailable every 3 weeks or so without prior notice, if you contract another tow serivce during their down time, upon resumption of your tow service your rates will be tripled.
Anyone else getting these scam phone calls/voicemails from “Apple Security” purporting to warn of an iCloud hack? I’ve received three today.
Haven’t received that one specifically yet, no.
But get several a day from others. “Microsoft” is the most common.
I have fun with them tho. They really get pissed when you waste their time.
I look forward to downloading your nudes in the next 48 hours
It’s about time foar bitchin’ Kamara to get that motor running.
Saints D making plays!
Altar boys everywhere shudder involuntarily.
ANYTHING BUT THE TURF MONSTER
Could be the hormone monster.
Professional athlete: trips over own feet?
Whoa! I am a pro!
I don’t care about who wins this game, so I hope each team scores a touchdown on every possession.
That would be fun, and it would make up slightly for the previous game
But only slightly, as you stated.
RIVERBOAT TIME
Cams strategy:
1. Throw to white guy
2. Throw to other little white guy
3. Run
each wank you’re losing a fuckton of data
https://twitter.com/fearwig/status/950130581593051136
At least my data plan is unlimited!
Is that on the “dark web”?
Someone did an analysis of how repetitive music is using compression ratios
This is good to know because women are tired of me dropping the hard drive storage equivalent of that on their faces.
Taco Bell Quesadillas are turning the Freaking Frogs Gay and staging the Sandy Hook shootings.
Fight fire with fire I guess.
Effective use of hoses?
Are these the ones who deserted their posts during Katrina or are these different ones?
Just the white guys.
They weren’t going to risk their promising modeling careers to save some poor people.
Those were the cops, not the firefighters.
Don’t young men have chest hair anymore?
I think they make you wax for calendars nowadays?
Well, I can’t imagine that males of the species have evolved out of having chest hair in just two generations.
No one told Demi Moore
double gumbo! TD!
Saints TD again, Tyran rocking the back for her Saints
You know, I don’t think I watched much Saints this year. They are not too bad at all!
That’s a shame about Peat, I like the flavor he adds to Scotch
His moss is very popular.
But let’s not get bogged down.
Time to put a malt to these jokes
Aikman praising the lineman for a blatant hold. Oy.
Hmmm…
Can you imagine if they played that sad Fox injury music during a real tragedy? Like 9/11 for example?
They should try for some soft-focus Vaseline-smeared lens action, like an old Barbara Walters interview.
Did Sean Payton steal his grandma’s glasses?
Makes him look only slightly less punchable.
Is 2018 too late to make a Teo girlfriend joke? Have we moved beyond that since he’s showing to be a decent player?
Nope; imaginary girlfriend will live forever!
Yeah. We’re also done with Parcell jokes too.
Beating jokes into the ground is what we do here!
Adrian Peterson, Ray Rice and a couple dozen of their peers perked up at “Beating”
She was the Jags leading receiver today.
Jim Rome still does, because he’s a tool.
I haven’t listened to that guy in almost 20 years. Sounds like he hasn’t changed.
*looks at banner quote*
Nah, we’re good.
Manti Teo’s girlfriend knows what a catch is.
This Versace show looks amazingly awful.
You’re watching the Golden Globes red carpet?
Ook, baby.
Nude alien creature sword fighting; harder than it looks.
“That’s not the sword fighting I was hoping for.”
-Anonymous, Green Bay WI
Hard to be a hero with your package hanging out there for all to see.
I for one am intrigued by the mouth in the hand concept. That could be…useful.
Not with those fangs. Or maybe… no. No fangs.
Maybe could have them as removable, like dentures.
“Baby take your teeth out, there ain’t nothin’ left to talk about…”
Republican campaign ads are getting less and less subtle.
Glory ook
his route was off, he wasn’t gonna catch it. Stupid foul
Three words rarely used together. Correction: Two words that are rarely used together.
Saints touchdown. No Tyran, a touchdown signal is two arms straight up in the air
Kansas City bbq is overrated.
Midnight Meat Street
Shankill Butchers not even shy anymore
Ginn?!
Okay
Bet you can’t wait for Washington to sign a fullback named Tony Prosseco.
Oh you know I would buy that jersey
gumbo gumbo gumbo!
Breesus Christ, SUPERSTAR!
Wait, you can throw the ball deep in the NFL?
– Alex Smith
BREESUS CANNON
Missed FG, Tyran missed putting on her bra this morning
Wide right?
Tyran? Is she a less-known member of House Lannister?
goddamn it, watching on a delay blows. And now my echo is talking to the commercial…sigh
I won’t tell you that NO just hit a long pass for a TD then.
Oh shit…sorry.
So what is the average BAC for the fans in that stadium?
It’s NOLA, so Alcohol Blood Content is probably more accurate measurement.
Yes.
U think ur better than me, eh?
hahahaha shankALOR is here!
SHANK’HOR IS PLEASED
PRAISE BE!!
Gano? More like FG-no, amirite?
you gotta be shitting me