Of all of the major professional sports, the NFL’s All Star game, the Pro Bowl, has become the biggest joke of all IMHO. And yes, I’m including the NBA in that. Jeebus.
But they are still playing it apparently, and some of us will probably watch it. And I’m using the royal “us” there. I won’t be watching it.
But here’s some information about it anyway.
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AFC vs NFC – 3:00pmEST – TV: ABC/ESPN
Coaches: Mike Tomlin (AFC) and Sean Payton (NFC)
Rules which differ from real NFL games (and some are very significant, btw), to try to prevent injuries:
- No motion or shifting by the offense
- Offense must have a tight end in all formations
- Offense may have 1 or 2 receivers on the same side
- Intentional grounding is legal
- Defense must run a 4–3 at all times, though the Cover 2 and press coverage is allowed
- No blitz
- No blindside or below the waist blocks
- Can not rush punts, PATs or FG attempts
- Two timeouts per period. If team has one unused timeout left over at end of the odd period they can carry over to next period; however they can not carry over from one half to next, nor from 4th period into first overtime.
- Coin toss determines who receives first; loser receives to start 3rd period
- Kickoffs are eliminated (including free kicks)
- Teams will start on their own 25-yard line after any score or at the start of each half/odd overtime
- 38-second play clock to run plays
- Clock will not stop on sacks outside last 2 minutes of regulation/4th overtime
- Clock stops in last 2 minutes of each period when team with ball can not gain any yardage. Exception applies to team in the lead in 4th period, who can let their QB kneel down and use up the leftover time to win it.
- 44-player roster per team
- Clock starts after incompletions on referee’s signal outside last 2 minutes of 2nd period/2 OT or last 5 minutes of 4th/4 OT
If you want to read more about it, you can here, here and here. But like I said. It’s a joke and it’s not football.
Which is why I’ll be watching Hockey and College Basketball today.
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NHL
NHL All Star Game – 3:30pmEST – TV: NBC
Probably the most fun All Star format going, IMHO. 3 on 3 hockey, and it’s three, three, three games in one. Each game consists only two periods lasting only 10 minutes each.
- Game 1 – 3:30pm – Central Division vs Pacific Division
- Game 2 – 4:30pm – Metropolitan Division vs Atlantic Division
- Game 3 – 5:30pm – Winner Gm1 vs Winner Gm2
NBA
On TV:
- Phoenix @ Houston – 3:30pmEST – TV: NBATV
- Philly @ OKC – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPN
NCAAB
Top 25 on TV:
- (1)Villanova @ Marquette – 1:00pmEST – TV: FOX
- (6)Michigan State @ Maryland – 1:00pmEST – TV: CBS
- (3)Purdue @ Indiana – 3:30pmEST – TV: FOX
- Tulsa @ (17)Wichita State – 6:00pmEST – TV: CNSSN
- (18)Clemson @ Georgia Tech – 6:00pmEST – TV: ESPNU
Oh, and speaking of college basketball, this happened yesterday…
Suck it you cheating bastards. And in two weeks, we’re gonna kick your ass again.
As an aside, as UVa was downing Duke in Durham, some of you might recall that I predicted the storyline would be when was the last time Duke and U*NC both lost at home on the same day?
Yep, yep and yep. And there’s more than that, trust me. And it was all over the local broadcast sports reports last night too. Those poor bastards were practically crying.
But I can’t take credit for being smrt on this one. Sports journalism is lazy and predictable, unfortunately.
OK, I’m done with my shameless NC State plug now. Go watch something.
And remember to talk about it in the comments. Unless you watch the Pro Bowl. Because then I’ll have to make fun of you.
(just kidding…probably)
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[Kicker points to the Jesus after kicking a field goal in the Pro Bowl]
“You’re kidding, right?”
-Jesus
Who else has more authority on nailing in three points?
I’m going with Seth Curry, tbh.
Don’t let the AFC trailing 20-3 at halftime distract you from the fact that Texas blew a 13-12 lead to Arizona in the Flag Football National Championship game just 2 hours earlier.
Graham Gano points heavenward after making the FG. Sorry dude, I doubt if God is watching today.
In this football celebration commercial (rip off of Key and Peele by the way) the score changes from 6-0 to 13-0 when they score. Proof that it’s an XFL game?
Would much rather watch Cleveland Browns vs Alabama Crimson Tide.
When I’m elected Dictator For Lyfe, my first decree will be that all renditions of the national anthem MUST be done ONLY with gunshots.
Aimed at the performers?
Now that I’d watch.
..and when I dispose you, all anthems must be done in under a minute, unless you can say all the verses by memory, in which case you are given five minute, not counting the guitar solo of course.
This game cements it: O Canada >>>>>>>>>> Star Spangled Banner
I never agreed to the SSB; #notmyanthem
“Please welcome one of the hottest stars in country music… who wasn’t invited for the Grammys… and can’t reach the high registers of the song… and apparently has no breath control because he can’t hold anything any length!”
Wow, the American anthem singer at the NHL All-Star Game is fucking atrociously awful.
Apparently, country is the only music legally allowed in Tampa Bay.
“Here we see a cheeky micro-brewery fail because the owners had no clue about marketing.”
-Sir David Attenborough, “Planet Portland”
They have a band on the ice, but they bring in a different singer for the anthem?
It was a good change
Dad Brees: “If you boys don’t knock it off, I’m turning this Pro Bowl around!”
“Here we see a Canadian in a Tim Horton’s drive-thru lineup apologizing to the employee because she got the order slightly wrong.”
-Sir Richard Attenborough, “Planet Northern Ontario”
NHL All Star game opening with some guy named Chase Rice who apparently sings country over some goofy dark alternative guitar feedback shit. It’s so bad.
Take literally any song off The Crow sound track and put a country twang over it. That’s what this song is, and they’re using it for intros, so it’s 42 minutes long so far.
Look at this clusterfuck.
This Pro Bowl is a nice illustration why the Steelers didn’t beat the Jaguars in the playoffs. Even with simplified rules designed to reduce competitive play, Big Ben and Brown are still not on the same page.
“Remember that time WE ended up on the same page?” – Dan Crane to Gerry Stubbs
The NHL All-Star Game(s) isn’t just a better All-Star game than the Pro Bowl. It’s a better football game than the Pro Bowl.
I think they should ban the use of the word “football” from being used in any capacity at the Pro Bowl.
Hell, the 2003 MLB All-Star Game was a better football game than the Pro Bowl, at least there was tacking.
http://files.shandymedia.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/05/14154016/torii-hunter-robs-barry-bonds.jpg
Rule changes to marginalize Defense? Check.
Starts 30 minutes late for no good reason? Check.
Vast scheme to downplay the longterm brain damaging effects of playing? Check.
Yup, it’s basically football at this point.
AFC coaching staff really feeling the pressure from the front office, going for it on every 4th down
When Graham Gano is out walking, he struts his stuff, and he is so strung out.
“Here we see a junkie negotiating a $10 blowjob to a drunk, repressed Wall Street executive.”
-Richard Attenborough, “Planet Earth-East Village, New York City”
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4uRhoRX94E
Good thing Pete Morelli isn’t working the Pro Bowl. He’d have declared that Tyreek Hill’s forward progress had been stopped.
But seriously it brings me great mirth to see that piece of shit Hill humiliated in front of a national audience.
He served his purpose for me this year but I will not be drafting him ever again.
I like that Volkswagen commerial because of its fanciful nature. A cop chasing a horse chasing a dog chasing a cat chasing a squirrel! And a cop not drawing his weapon and emptying his clip at a driver who got too close to him! It’s so imaginative!
I feel like I don’t actually need to watch the game to comment on it.
Sean Payton: “Why should I make you ball boys.”
Brees Boys: “If you don’t we’ll convince our daddy to play for Tampa Bay next year.”
“All right, but you boys better not screw up or I’ll trade your dad to wherever Marc Trestman is coaching.” – Sean Payton
Uh oh, its raining. Its only a matter of time before the refs stop play and has the Field Crew bring out a tarp for the field.
The Los Angeles Chargers’ ground crew can help with that!
Sweet Jesus Fuck. Fox News ran a piece on Steve Wynn’s contributions to Democrats. Even I struggle to believe that anyone would be stupid enough to be duped into believing RNC Finance Chair Steve Wynn was a Democrat.
“Hold my beer, [racist epithet of your choice]” – Fox Viewers
I am watching both the Pro Bowl and the NHL All-Star Game at the same time. I think I might need an intervention.
See you there!
Man, talk about a lack of effort overload. See if you can find a youtube video of Albert Haynesworth trying to mow his lawn and you’ll have a trifecta.
Shit, see if you can find a Youtube video of Albert Haynesworth trying to sit up.
We The Fans just made me fly in to a rage.
Maybe the winning conference could “win” all coin tosses for the upcoming year interconference games. Excluding overtime. Or not excluding overtime, even.
I’m only watching in case a team tries a Septuple-Reverse Flea Flicker.
The only reason I moved close enough to the TV to watch the Pro Bowl is because there was a crying child sitting next to me in my old seat.
Why are you watching the game with Terrell Owens?
We will acept it, Blake Bortles would have also been accepted.
“I’ve an overwhelming desire to rub a monkey’s belly right now.”
-Sir Richard Attenborough, recording Planet Earth
I didn’t realize the Pro Bowl started at 3, and I just promised the dog a walk. Oh well.
/Starts whistling, walks off into the woods with no regrets
Of course half the starters are from the Steelers. Of course that’s better than them starting next week.
I’m not even mad, this is amazing:
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/amp/serial-stowaway-marilyn-hartman-arrested-chicago-airport-again-n841766
They let her out on bail. I guess they don’t figure she’s a flight risk.
I have one week to prepare myself to root for the Patriots. I don’t like them, but compared to the Eagles and their fans, they are not that bad.
That’s right. OFFICIAL Barstool Sports signs.
Just think, by this time next week, we’ll be in hour 4 of the Super Bowl pre-show.
It’s important to know that a half-buzzed Eagles fan in an Eagles bar is cheering for the Eagles.
Don’t mind if I do!
Just play Flag-Football and get it over with.
This is the first time I’ve seen the rule differences. What the fuck is even the point?
Used to be when they had it in Hawaii the week after the SB, it kinda seemed like a reward for the players. But fucking Orlando? I’m surprised any of the players show up at all.
How to Fix the Pro Bowl:
– Winning Conference has the Super Bowl in their conference champion’s home stadium.
– Winning Conference gets a special round of the draft after the 1st Round where only their teams can select players.
– Winning Conference gets electricity and hot water the next season in the Locker Room.
– Losing Conference must ride buses to all games next season. (London is accepted but they must fly coach, unless they have a bye week the game after, in which they must go in 3rd Class on a passenger liner in the North Atlantic).
I am just here for the refs.
Isn’t this the game where they roll out all the clever high dollar ads? That’s what I’m looking forward to.
The NC State victory was so weird-they battled the ShitHeads on their own terms with players that are very obviously not as good, not as athletically gifted and not as smart-with a coach that isn’t very talented. I guess every wolf has its day…
/runs away giggling
https://edition.cnn.com/2018/01/26/politics/clinton-2008-campaign-adviser-sexual-harassment/index.html
Hillary (spoken): “We deserve to be heard.”
Just not listened or believed, depended upon if it will hurt or help my cause or beliefs.
This is why I voted for “None of the Above”. Trump has some painfully obvious moral, character and ethical issues that disqualifies him as President. But she has a few too.
I’d agree that she was too lenient on him, but too many articles about this convey the impression that HRC took no action at all.
I’ll grant you that. I originally posted from MSN.com but they didn’t refer to what they did. She did something, but not enough to be considered a “Champion of Women’s Rights”.
She’ll never get the benefit of the doubt on anything involving sexual harassment/assault after the bullshit with Bill. Can’t necessarily call it a tactical error since it didn’t affect her campaign, but it’s sure as fuck tone deaf with everything that’s been going on the last few years.
This “tit for tat” political discourse is a dead end and is destroying your country.
A “tit for tat” policy is how Todd Marinovich lost his job at the tattoo parlor. Also, it was found out that his credentials as a tattoo artist had been forged.
Also watching.
Dallas cheerleader attention-ho’ing during the intros (everybody else in standard “pose-and-shake-pompoms” mode, she’s bouncing all over the place)
Now, the Balds in the Booth. They were rather snarky during the skills challenge, which made it much more entertaining.
Hmm, no football today, guess it is time to start playing Monster Hunter: World and die many gory stupid deaths. I honestly believe there should be an old fogies mode on some of these new games.
“I prefer muenster hunter” – Andy Reid, about to pay a visit to his favorite deli.
I love new games now, just got it installed and it already had to do an update of over 3G for a game that was released less than a week ago.
Hey, at least there’s also the NHL All-Star Game later?
/Remembers there’s no John Scott
Shit. For some reason I had it in my mind that wasn’t until tomorrow.
I’ll add it.
Thanks for the heads up, Senor. Not sure how I braincramped that one.
Nor will there ever be again. I get the feeling the NHL isn’t fond of the fact that they’re gonna make a movie where they’re the villain.
I’m on a bus to the airport, so I will be listening to The Boys In The Boat and occasionally checking Twitter to see if anyone got needlessly injured during the pro bowl
By coincidence, I am AT the airport (Logan). I am surprised by the absence of Patriots crap.
The Pats-gear-wearers are all flying out of TF Green down Providence way.
Source: Always fly in and out of TF Green, always wear Pats gear when I do (except when I wear Spurs gear).
Yeah, I’m gonna have it on.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YgSPaXgAdzE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukWRRNqMAZ4
Might I suggest a different Beatles tune for Sunday activities:
https://youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=5AdtR-d2HJQ
/ wakes up
// sees the Pro Bowl is today
/// goes back to sleep