Your “Huh – Actual Students Came To School” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • As predicted/feared, Rae Carruth is seeking custody of his son.
    • The physically-challenged son, because he was a premie, because his father hired some men to kill his mother so he wouldn’t be born.
      • I can’t wait for the “Movie of the Week”.
  • Baker Mayfield has announced he will not attend the NFL Draft in Arlington.
    • Because why show your appreciation at being drafted to a tire fire LIVE on TV.

   

It’s gone so well before.

  • Today marks the opening of the Franchise & Transition Tag window.
    • In an unrelated event, Kirk Cousins has had his phone turned off all day.
  • In phrasing that doesn’t remind of Hank Scorpio or Ernst Blofeld, nfl.com names a frontrunner to buy the Panthers.
    • It’s “Billionaire hedge fund manager and philanthropist David Tepper”, because those are usually two great things that go great together.
    • To further elaborate, “Tepper, whose net worth has been estimated at $11 billion by Forbes, currently owns a five percent stake in the Steelers.”
      • so it looks like he’s willing to up his game, like Jimmy Haslam.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics:
    • NBCSN | 7:00PM – Figure Skating (women’s short)
    • NBC | 8:00PM – Snowboarding, Bobsled, Alpine, Figure Skating
    • CNBC | 10:00PM – Men’s hockey: Czech Republic vs. USA
    • CBC |
    • TSN | 7:00PM – Curling – Women’s Round Robin: Canada vs. Great Britain
    • Sportsnet1
      • 7:30PM – Men’s Snowboarding
      • 9:00PM – Ladies’ Downhill Skiing
      • 11:00PM | Men’s Freestyle Skiing

  • NHL: no national broadcasts; regional coverage only
  • NBA: last day of the All-Star break
  • NCAA:
    • Creighton at Butler – 7:00PM | FS1
    • Illinois at Michigan State – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • West Virginia at Baylor – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Kentucky at Arkansas – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Mississippi at Missouri – 9:00PM | ESPN2
  • MLS:
    • 2018 CONCACAF Champions League:
      • Round of 16 – Colorado vs. Toronto FC – 10:00PM | TSN2

Sorry everything’s a bit truncated today. I had a full class, which left little time to craft the majestic pieces I throw up for you most every night. I CAN’T PROMISE TO DO BETTER!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well NighBeerguyrobWakezillaSenor WeaseloBrocky Recent comment authors
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Senor Weaselo

The following is a transcript of a scene from Senor’s gig tonight:

Boy, maybe about 9 or 10: Is that a violin?
Senor (as we’re coming off a break): Yeah.
Boy: Do you mind if I play it?
Senor: Yes. Yes I do mind.
Boy: Why? I know how to play.
Senor: Then you’d know why I mind.
Violist: Because it’s very expensive and important.
Boy: Do you mind if I play your viola?
Violist: Yes.
Boy: Why?
Violist: Same reason.
Boy (back to me): Can I hold it?
Senor: Still no.
Boy: Well can you make some noise with it?
Senor: We were just about to do that!

And then he tried to turn a page while I was playing Maple Leaf Rag, but I was smart and saw him leaning on my stand so I leaned with my scroll and shut him the fuck down. I am also glad the violist jumped in when he did because I was trying to edit the phrase I would have said, “Because I don’t know you, and I don’t trust you, and if you break him I will fucking end you and wear your hide as a goddamn pelt, you little shit, now get the fuck away from me.” The rest of the kids at this engagement party were nice, and listened and did not touch. So good for you, other kids!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shoulda poked him in the eye with the bow.

Brocky

….your violin is a he?

I just say that as such a sexy instrument is typically regarded as a smoldering temptress.

Senor Weaselo

I’m the first owner, and he had a very brash sound at the beginning. It was like taming a horse, which led to the name Hidalgo, whether the actual horse actually existed or not.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I think it’d be cool if a symphony orchestra finished one of those big Beethoven songs and smashed all their instruments like The Who.

Brocky

this story is more touching than any relationship I’ve had over the last five years. my hat’s off to you sir

Senor Weaselo

Oh, and also I was 13 when I got him. So, it’s been half a lifetime.

Brocky

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Brocky

f

Sharkbait

Well shit.

WCS

Piss.

Sharkbait

Terry?

Brocky

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Sharkbait

Troy Terry is 2018 TJ Oshie Right?

WCS

To the shoot-out!

WCS

HOLE. E. SHEET.

Sharkbait

How was there no shot there?

Col. Duke LaCross

They killed the penalty for them.

WCS

2-2 overtime
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Some are NSFW. Fair warning. https://gfycat.com/unsurprised/hot

WCS

OFF THE CROSSBAR

Sharkbait

I thought they’d bury that

Col. Duke LaCross
WCS

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Col. Duke LaCross

Medvedeva is some kind of skating cyborg.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

WCS

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WCS

Staten Island Hustle looks… guidoish

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

As if Doug Martin wasn’t having a bad enough day, now his most hated Olympic event is being broadcast on NBC’s main channel.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

For the record, Gary Bettman is also a national disgrace.

Regardless, I’m still putting a deposit down on Seattle season tickets.

WCS

*international disgrace

Sharkbait

SHORTY!!!!

WCS

Shorty! 2-2

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

USA! USA! USA! USA!

Sharkbait

Ugly 2nd period so far.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Col. Duke LaCross

Goddammit.

WCS

2-1 CZE

rockingdog
rockingdog

Found a funny:

Me: so what made you want to be a trashman?

Trashman who looks suspiciously like 3 raccoons in a trenchcoat: um… the benefits….

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Tastes like mango, chutney, and burnt hair.”

rockingdog
rockingdog
Romonobyl

You too?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I have that book. Still haven’t actually read it, but I have it.

People write way too much goddamn exposition and narration, and it almost never helps. Like he said, Atwood can paint a picture with words; most just rub finger paints in your eyes. This is where the GoT series is better than the ASOIAF novels because I don’t give a shit about the thousands of years of backstory. Funny enough, the one place where GRRM does this correctly is how he glosses over depictions of battles. The series’s excuse for the first several seasons was money, but also it doesn’t fucking matter. Donald Westlake’s novel The Hunter, which has been adapted into half a dozen movies – Lee Marvin in Point Blank, Mel Gibson in Payback – and inspired countless imitators spent more words on the protagonist making a fake ID (in the 50s) than in how he kills a dozen men in a railyard. One

Romonobyl

My wife is an intelligent woman, her taste in men notwithstanding, but hasn’t grasped the concept of the rhetorical question. She recently asked me why the French skater didn’t open with a triple jump which is apparently required, then stared at me waiting for an answer.

WCS

1-1 end of first

Sharkbait

Bad penalty to take at the end of the period.

Romonobyl

Every time one of these figure skaters wipes out I swear I hear my ankles screaming.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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.

Romonobyl

Like you’ve never gotten shit-faced before?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

Fuck.

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WCS

The Olympic version of this?

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Romonobyl

Butt-fumble gif in 3…2…

Sharkbait

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WCS

Czechs tie 1-1

Romonobyl

Speaking of sequels:
2012 Pt. 2 sucked so bad they had to call it San Andreas.

Sharkbait

*sees ad for “Rise”*

Shut up Ted.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

CAN THESE BELGIANS STOP WASTING MY TIME AND WIN SOME FUCKING MEDALS

rockingdog
rockingdog

Yooooooo this blues vs sharks hockey game is good!

Romonobyl

Isn’t it hard to skate while crouching and snapping your fingers side to side?

WCS

1-0 USA over Czech

Sharkbait

This Ryan Donato kid is pretty good.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Go go USA!

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Fuck this week

Romonobyl

As opposed to last week?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Also yes

Sharkbait

I know they aren’t saying it, but all I hear is “Bullwinkle” during the women’s downhill

SonOfSpam

“Watch me pull a Titleist out of my snatch.”

– L. Vonn

Sharkbait

Tiger’s game has been on the upswing lately…

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Watch me fire a Titleist out of my snatch.”

—Thai bar girl

Romonobyl

Umm…that wasn’t actually “her” snatch.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m sticking by my story and that’s the end of it. NO HE-SHE, NO HE-SHE, YOU’RE THE HE-SHE!!!

Romonobyl

What happens in S.E. Asia…

Romonobyl

Ice dancing to Back in Black!!!!! About damned time.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Time for Learning!

Col. Duke LaCross

She got hosed!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Yikes, PK Subban not happy that he was allowed to sucker punch a guy from behind.

litre_cola

Dion Phaneuf. Still an asshole.

Gratliff

SonOfSpam

Oh good. Jeopardy guy is talking to Alex about playing bocce.

SonOfSpam

2nd guy has a cat with 23 toes instead of 16.

SonOfSpam

Returning champ is showing broken hand-me-down lighter.

I FARTED THE THEME SONG WITH MY HANDS YOU FUCKING HACKS.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The Final Jeopardy answer is “hummingbird”

SonOfSpam

Dick.

/rushes to local bar to make money off local rubes

herodotus450
herodotus450

But what is the question?

Romonobyl

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Polydactylism for the win!

–Antonio Alfonseca

Romonobyl

I know this isn’t politically correct, but I’d still give a day’s pay just to watch Johnny Weir try to rotate my tires.

SonOfSpam

With Tara Lipinski doing the tire-changing commentary?

Gratliff

I challenge a single person to read this in a way that isn’t sexual

Romonobyl

I was gonna add “he can use my tools” but that was just being obvious. Might even say cheeky!

Horatio Cornblower

23&Me Narrator: ‘What would you do if I gave you a car, but told you that it was the only car you would ever get for the rest of your life?”

Me: “Probably drive it straight into a tree trying to impress a girl”

Narrator: “Awesome”

Redshirt

My lunch. It didn’t taste good the 2nd time around.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Wait……?
Did you puke it up?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

The only alternative doesn’t bear thinking about.

SonOfSpam

Redshirt is a bird and/or cow?

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Man, this really tastes like shit.”

WCS

This Is Us 2: So Very White

Horatio Cornblower

Now with 20% more fire protection!

Horatio Cornblower

The Norwegian silver-medalist speaks better English that I do.

She’s clearly a mole.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

She certainly speaks better English than that guy in the White House, who would like for her to migrate here so he could sexually harass her.