Your “There Was Something I Forgot To Say” Saturday Evening Open Thread

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=82oSu6gIvms

If you are receiving this, it means the blizzard has finally stopped & I can get out of the house. Doing more food deliveries tonight; last week was sadly uneventful, so I’m hoping for something interesting.


Tonight’s sports:

  • Olympics:
    • NBC | 8:00PM – Bobsled, Figure Skating Gala
    • NBCSN
      • 7:00PM – Curling (Women’s Gold Medal Match)
      • 10:30PM – Hockey (Men’s Gold Medal Game)
        • Who fucking cares vs. Big fucking deal
    • CBC
      • 8:00PM – Bobsled, Figure Skating Gala
      • 10:30PM – Hockey (Men’s Gold Medal Game)
    • TSN
      • 7:00PM – Curling (Women’s Gold Medal Match)

  • NHL:
    • Bruins at Leafs – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / NHLN
    • Jets at Stars – 7:00PM | Sportsnet1
    • Oilers at Kings – 10:00PM | Sportsnet
  • NBA:
    • Thunder at Warriors – 8:30PM | ABC / TSN2
  • NCAA:
    • Gonzaga at BYU – 8:00PM | ESPN2
    • Arizona State at Oregon State – 8:00PM | ESPNU
    • Missouri at Kentucky – 8:15PM | ESPN
    • Long Beach State at Cal State (Fullerton) – 10:00PM | ESPN2
    • Arizona at Oregon – 10:15PM | ESPN
  • UFC:
    • UFC Fight Night: Emmett vs. Stephens – 8:00PM | FOX / TSN5

Spring Training baseball kicks off tomorrow afternoon. Russell Wilson’s playing with the Yankees. WHY WOULD THE ROCKIES TRADE HIM?!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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herodotus450

This game I call it ENIGMA because the Germans thought they had it the whole time but they really didn’t

Gratliff

Gonna come back from commercial to both captains punching a random Polish fellow

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

I appreciate the DNC’s new retro style ad campaign

Horatio Cornblower

The Polish hockey team would be better if they didn’t train outdoors in the summer.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS OVERTIME I CALL IT ‘LEND-LEASE’, BECAUSE IT WILL DRAG OUT THE GERMAN-RUSSIAN CONFLICT FOR THE ULTIMATE BENEFIT OF AN AMERICAN AUDIENCE!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

This lead I call it the means of production because it has been seized by the russians

WCS

THIS GAME I CALL IT STALINGRAD BECAUSE ONCE AGAIN THE RUSSIANS SCORE LATE AND NO ONE KNOWS WHO’S GOING TO WIN

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

I’m drunk.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised

William Gibson is such a pretentious blowhard.

Horatio Cornblower

You’re not alone

Gratliff

Fucking Germans

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Not enough tommyguns?

Horatio Cornblower

“Fucking Germans”
-France, 1941

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GERMAN POWER PLAY, I CALL IT THE KURSK OFFENSIVE BECAUSE THEY HAD ALL OF THE ADVANTAGES AND STILL FUCKED IT UP!!!

/nailed it!

herodotus450

Germany just needs to hole up in a bunker and ride out hte last 2 minutes of this one.

Horatio Cornblower

Oh that is fucking sublime.

herodotus450

And…. they blew it, right through the head.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Germans taking off with lightning speed while the Russians look on helplessly?

Never seen that before.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Well, how else are ya gonna catch ’em?

Gratliff

The Ukrainian in me hates both of these teams equally. However, my left and right half are arguing over which team’s moral failings I should be okay with.

Horatio Cornblower

Hi, I’m a meteor. Perhaps I can help?

Gratliff

A century late, a mark short.

Senor Weaselo
Mr. Ayo

Das miracle on frozen Canadian tears ice

Horatio Cornblower

THAT GERMAN GOAL, I CALL IT “LENIN SNEAKING BACK IN AN ARMORED RAIL CAR” BECAUSE RUSSIA IS NOT COMING BACK FROM THAT!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Fuck Russia

herodotus450

Shouldn’t they also be called “Olympic Fans from Russia” instead of “Russian Fans”?

Senor Weaselo

#AllOlympiansMatter

Horatio Cornblower

THIS THIRD PERIOD I CALL IT THE SIEGE OF LENINGRAD, BECAUSE THE RUSSIANS ARE STARVING FOR A BREAKTHROUGH!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Given the context a meat thermometer is probably the better plan, but smell will do in a pinch.

herodotus450

This Ilya Kovalchuk I call him Anastasia because he’s disappeared without a trace at an inopportune time
/not sure if true but time is running out for these references

WCS

GODDMANNIT THIS THIRD PERIOD I CALL THE BATTLE OF STALINGRAD BECAUSE THERE’S A LOT OF PAIN AND NO ONE KNOWS HOW THIS WILL GO

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

That’s a Big Kahun goal

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GERMAN BREAKTHROUGH I CALL IT TANNENBERG BECAUSE IT’S A VICIOUS SETBACK FOR THE RUSSIANS!!
/fuck it, Germany’s never getting a lead

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

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Senor Weaselo

That wasn’t the Datsyuk Several Dangles Leading Into a Goal that I was expecting.

Horatio Cornblower

That was a hell of a shot though.

Senor Weaselo

I mean, that goal was soft as all hell, the goalie played pass as the puck came towards him.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Fuck off, my wife’s fast asleep in the next room!

Horatio Cornblower

Goddammit Germany, this Tannenberg joke isn’t gonna make itself y’know.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

How about Tannenbaum jokes?

Mr. Ayo

That should help

herodotus450

The Germans didn’t need to go half way around the world get gold, did they forget Switzerland is right next door?

Senor Weaselo

Well, there’s your wounded Russian to pile up on the ice.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

It’s cute until you realize he’s looking at his mother.

Mr. Ayo

He’s almost ready for harvesting

herodotus450

“… the German bench is alive and electric.”
Funny, I thought they would be gas, not electric

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Get this man some star shaped flair, perhaps yellow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

There it is.

And by “it” I mean ‘the line’, which we are now over.

Mr. Ayo

I’ve dropped everything to see watch these jokes in real time.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

-German Panzer Commander, narrating in real time their crossing of the Maginot Line

Senor Weaselo

Well he did say alive.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

Don’t start that bullshit! The Germans had their ‘Miracle On Ice’ when the Rhine didn’t freeze in 1944* and kept the Americans and British off their asses for another year!

/May or may not be true, but it sounded good when I thought of it

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

You ever have to go to a thing at someone’s house you don’t know so well, and you’re not exactly sure where they live, and as you walk by a group of Martian looking people clearly also looking for a friend’s house, you say to yourself or out loud even “good thing we’re not going to that lame party with them” and then it turns out you walked past where you need to go and that lame party is indeed your destination?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

You lost me at “leave the house”

Horatio Cornblower

Martians?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I dunno, I guess I was thinking about the people in the wedding singer that Robbie describes as the martians from table 9. Or does he say mutants?

Horatio Cornblower

Fuck if I know. I’m so drunk that Apple is trying to convince me to buy Cher songs.

So far I’ve held off.

So far.

herodotus450

I see a lot of German-Russian war jokes have already been made, but they feel about 25 years old so I’m just going make them all over again now

Horatio Cornblower

Not sure what I’ve purchased to earn this but Apple is now suggesting I buy songs from Cher.

This isn’t good.

yeah right

This seems appropriate. Things are getting a little…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=122r-tVpU2s

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

The ISIS bobsled team leaves a lot to be desired.

herodotus450

If Russia wins, America, France, and UK will be awarded 74% of the Germans’ Silver Medal and Russia will get the other 26%

Horatio Cornblower

Banner this gentleman.

yeah right

Make it fucking so.

Horatio Cornblower

“What adjustments are being made in the locker rooms, Jeremy?”

“Well, the Germans are probably trying to switch the gauges on the their railroad tracks so as to get reinforcement and supplies to the front much faster, and the Russians are probably bringing up more divisions, albeit poorly equipped and trained divisions, from Central Asia in an effort to bleed out the German offensive and eventually turn the tide.”

/there is about a 2% chance Roenick could tell you who won WWII.

WCS

Roenick would tell you the USA won the Civil War. When asked who the enemy was, he’d respond, “THEM.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
Horatio Cornblower

The Avengers: Infinity Wars
Fuck everything, just throw all the characters in and it’ll work itself out somehow!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450

I assume it’s been beaten into the ground by now, but, the switch to plus and minus symbols from the thumbs up and down is tearing me apart! How will I ever find the mental fortitude to craft a joke about how not only are hockey teams in canada are so bad, but even THE Canadian hockey team is bad

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Was having a thumb up his ass on that Gawker tape of Hulk Hogan fucking?

Mr. Ayo

DFO: Come for the dick jokes, stay for the WWII history lessons!

WCS

THIS THIRD PERIOD, I CALL IT OPERATION WINTER STORM IN 1942, BECAUSE THE GERMANS AND RUSSIANS HAVE FOUGHT THEMSELVES TO A DRAW, AND NO ONE KNOWS THE OUTCOME

Horatio Cornblower

The Germans really need to take a lead here so I can drop this Tannenberg joke I’ve been sitting on, or this whole night has been for naught.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

The allure of Polish porn has always been lost on me.

Senor Weaselo

“These Polish Girls Will Do Anything For a Polka!”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Bobby Hurley will never defeat Sean Miller.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, considering Sean Miller is going to jail soon, probably not.

Horatio Cornblower

Thinking of spending .99 to get Haircut 100’s “Love Plus One” as a goof.

Someone please sever my internet connection.

scotchnaut
scotchnaut

Whoops! Apparently I’m under the spell of Spinderella.

Horatio Cornblower

See you that and raise you this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B9FzVhw8_bY

scotchnaut

This is the very best I got-

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3NFWgG4_6NI

Horatio Cornblower

“Hey, what if the Suicide Girls were laid back stoners!?”, is how I imagine this woman got her start.

Which, for the record, I am totally cool with.

Horatio Cornblower

Surely I won’t regret surfing the Apple store at 12:30 AM while on my 3rd 8.5% ABV beer, right?

scotchnaut

Still drinking at this late hour? ……………….Cheers!!!!!!!!!!

Horatio Cornblower

I got a late start.

scotchnaut

It’s like you think I’m judging you. Silly Horatio.

scotchnaut

“I’m lovin’ this large playing surface.”

-Robert Matthew Von Winkle

scotchnaut

Russia’s gotta pull Tretiak for Myshkin here. It’s the only way they’ll pull this out.

Horatio Cornblower

Either that or turn it into a bloody meat grinder until the American team shows up and stabs Germany in the back.

Horatio Cornblower

THIS GAME, I CALL IT STALINGRAD, BECAUSE WE’RE HALFWAY THROUGH IT, NO ONE HAS AN ADVANTAGE BUT THERE’S NO WAY THIS ISN’T ABOUT TO GO HORRIBLY WRONG FOR THE GERMANS!!!!

WCS

There you go.

WCS

DEUTSCHLAND

scotchnaut

Uber The Goal Line!

blaxabbath

Would have rather been playing at USC tonight.