Your Saturday Football/Fútbol Morning Open Thread

Coming off the second week of Champions’ League games, we now have a better gauge as to who will pass on to the next stage. Sort of. To recap, here are the results in the first legs (Home teams listed first):

Juventus 2 – 2 Tottenham

FC Basel 0 – 4 Manchester City

Porto 0 – 5 Liverpool

Real Madrid 3 – 1 Paris St. Germain

Bayern Munich 5 – 0 Beşiktaş

Chelsea 1 – 1 Barcelona

Sevilla 0 – 0 Manchester United

Shaktar Donestk 2 – 1 Roma

This all means that Liverpool,  Man City,  and Bayern are safely through. Everything else is up in the air.  Well,  Real probably have the next best shot to go through, but a PSG 2-0 win at home would do the trick.  It will be interesting to see if they have that in them.

In the meantime, we STILL have league action going on!  There is not much movement as Man City is ahead of Man United by a comfortable 16 points, Bayern is ahead in the Bundesliga by a comfortable 19 points, and Paris St. Germain is ahead in the French Ligue 1 by a comfortable 12 points.

Meanwhile, Barcelona is ahead in La Liga by a not-so-comfortable 7 points over Atlético Madrid with a head-to-head meeting coming up on March 4. Juventus still trails Napoli by one in Serie A.

Here are today’s matches,  first for the US and then Canada:

Damn, I guess it’s Tax Season…

Ok, you heathens, have at it!

ballsofsteelandfury

ballsofsteelandfury

International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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Senor WeaseloBrettFavresColonoscopyMoose -The End Is Well NighKing HippotheeWeeBabySeamus Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who was complaining about being gassy earlier? Because local retailers can confirm I too am suffering.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

I finally get to post a FailRace gif!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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FINALLY!

King Hippo

on the funny ha ha side, Pitt has seven points at halftime. At home. This is not a drill.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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A Street vendor selling mummies in Egypt, 1865

King Hippo

yep, South Cakalaky has lost almost all of their lead. Washington is losing to FUCKING CAL. As many random bets as I made, I could lose every single one (hoops varietal). Probably like 10,000 to 1 odds of THAT. This world…is NAWT for Hippo.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

LMAO, Danny Manning’s tenure as head “coach”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

ok, Bees dead. Your turn, Chickens.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Somebody discovered the secret cat stash.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

D’awwwwwwwwww

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

Caps take sole possession of third place, fulfilling the prophecy

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

You shush.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Creighton about to punk ‘Nova.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Jay Wright always cracks me up. He should have the voice of The Count…no shit.

King Hippo

Next two to blow giant leads to blow Hippo payouts – GT and South Cakalaky. This is surrealism today. My mind will finally melt FOAR good. CHRIST and Sonny Jeebus….

theeWeeBabySeamus

So who are we betting tonight???????????

Too soon?

(I actually am looking at tonight’s lines atm)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I bet Cuse, K State, Wazzu, and SJ State ML, Cuse, Washington, and Santa Clara (hee hee) ATS.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Okie State has 1 point lead with 18 seconds left. I know I’m fucked

King Hippo

godfuckingdamnit!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Wichita turns it over AND BLOWS THE COVER with 2 seconds left

King Hippo

oh shit, BC

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, I got some love notes today in the mail from two hot chicks.
One named Li’l WCS, and another named Li’ler WCS.

scotchnaut

Here I was thinking that Yemen didn’t have internet service. #themoreyouknow

scotchnaut

/going for a drunken snooze

//hoping I wake up before Cuse/Duke

King Hippo

Nobody blows a double digit 2nd half lead like…any team I have a ML bet on.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

I’d pay extra for that cake.

King Hippo

Happy Birthday, Najeh!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NICE!

theeWeeBabySeamus

As would Gene….

SonOfSpam

Love everything Gene says. Also love that the voice guy looks like him.

blaxabbath

In all honesty, I’m kind of glad UA is the poster child for this scandal. I mean, they were gonna get pulled into any major scandal that included Utah and USC. But UA managed to have an arrest on opening day. And while it’s definitely bad ($100K for a kid to come play ball someplace), I’m glad they weren’t protecting sexual abusers or whatever.

And who knows, maybe if the NCAA is actually fundamentally changed out of all this, Arizona will be a footnote case in the change beginning. Also, I find the entire saga more interesting with a cast or characters I know.

King Hippo

but they won’t. They will say Ville and AZ are “rogues” and turn a blind eye to everyone else

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

True, they still got the moral high ground over Penn State. As does every school outside of Trump University.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

The hilarious thing that is going to happen if the NCAA does “fundamentally” change is that…you can cover for a pedophile for over 10 years and not get punished meaningfully…

You can run a rape ring that takes down an entire Olympic sport for over 10 years…and not get punished meaningfully…

Poor black folks getting paid?!?!

HOLY SHIT WE’VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING!!!

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King Hippo

fuuuuuuuuuuccccckkkkkk, BDSM State is paddling my balls

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Japan upsets GBR in women’s curling…

King Hippo

Scary Wheat best not blow the cover

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did I ever tell you guys I dated Gordie Howe’s niece for a short period of time once?

No shit.

She was very cute. But also a huge pain in the ass. And I never did get to meet “Uncle Gordie”.

Bitch.

SonOfSpam

Ever go five-hole?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THERE WE GO! HEEEEEEYOOOOO!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

No comment.

Also…yes.

King Hippo

how were her teeth?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Her dentition was quite lovely, actually. As was the rest of her. Outwardly.
But as I said, she was a huge pain in the ass.

When I broke it off, she did try to punch me tho. Good thing I had my fight strap buckled up that night.

Our first date was at Amedeo’s, btw. True Story, Bro.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

“Broken Flowers”?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes.

scotchnaut

Did I ever tell you guys that I banged a girlie that married a dude that ended up winning a Grey Cup?

SonOfSpam

Grey Cup Eskimo Brothers? Did you rough ride her?

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

So does anyone else find it HILARIOUS that the NCAA is trying to make the argument against paying student athletes the same as student employees with the Vanskike v. Peters case?

That is the case in which a federal prisoner sued, arguing that his force prison labor was illegal unless he was paid at least the federal minimum wage.

The court ruled against him because the 13th amendment, while outlawing slavery, has the clause …”
except as a punishment for crime whereof the party shall have been duly convicted…”.

The NCAA, an organization that just made cool $8.8 billion off of CBS for the broadcast rights of March Madness, is arguing that student athletes are the equivalent of CONVICTED prisoners.

Even more insane…the NCAA has made this argument in the past and fucking won.

White people…always finding ways to enslave black folk…

King Hippo

absolutely agree that the NCAA cabal is paternal racism at its most blatant

SonOfSpam

I like the part where the school makes $$ off jerseys with the athlete’s name/number on them.

“Um, that’s my name…can I share some of the profits?”

“FUCK YOU. YOU ALREADY GET TO TAKE BOTANY YOU FUCKING INGRATE.”

blaxabbath

Larry Scott is going to have these refs make sure Arizona loses out and USC wins out so the Trojans get the conference outright.

Arizona will score 25 points in the conference tournament.

King Hippo

a little perimeter defensing, Scary Wheat? shitmonkeys

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

That’s not mah name! That’s not mah name!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Pointless Debate Question: Best at assists: Messi, Gretzky, or Bird?

King Hippo

Messi

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

This question could get messi.

scotchnaut

For his time? I’m taking Booby Orr.

/#boobies!

SonOfSpam

He was the tits.

SonOfSpam

Bird NO ONE DENIES THIS.

(For real? Prolly Gretzky, followed by Magic.)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Belladonna is the best.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Prepare To Dye.”

/Inigo Montoya, manager in an Indian sweatshop several years after revenging his father’s death

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Sean Miller not coaching tonight. Somebody check on Blax…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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blaxabbath

Damn it! Last away game of the year! I wanted to see that UO crowd let Miller have it for two hours straight!

King Hippo

AZ now +7/+290 ML at Oh-ray-GAWNE tonight. That’s tempting, they could rally, play for each other, etc.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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SonOfSpam

Tonight, or ever again. MAYBE.

King Hippo

But PRO TIP – Scary Wheat ballhandling too dicey FOAR NCAAT success.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

new LYFE goal – take an 8!

SonOfSpam

Nair head-to-toe first.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is for professionals/ advanced users only.

King Hippo

Okie State, Scary Wheat, doing goods.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I see you assholes are still doing the same shit you were doing when I left this morning.

Good News: Real Estate agent is more on the ball than I thought. House is already on the market and the sign is up.

Fuck that shithole.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Go Pokes!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Billy Joel’s cameo in The Princess Bride is an overwrought piece of acting garbage.

King Hippo

Billy Joel is just fucking awful. In every possible way.

scotchnaut

Meh. He’s just a piano man.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

HEY! He needs to hate for no reason; it’s what keeps him ALIVE!

*True for 99% of the internetswebs.

King Hippo

Mah hate does keep me alive, pretty sure.

SonOfSpam

Do you mean Billy Crystal or are you confusing Billy Joel with Andre the Giant?

scotchnaut

Absolutely!

King Hippo

Billy Crystal is also fucking garbage. Andre the Giant, well he HAS A POSSE!

King Hippo

Choice comment from NSNO:

Everton are the turd that even Allardyce can’t fucking polish!
Thank you for fucking another weekend up you fat gravy swigging cunt!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“He’s mostly dead.”

-Me, Inside