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Your Saturday Football/Fútbol Morning Open Thread

ballsofsteelandfury

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, ,

Coming off the second week of Champions’ League games, we now have a better gauge as to who will pass on to the next stage. Sort of. To recap, here are the results in the first legs (Home teams listed first):

Juventus 2 – 2 Tottenham

FC Basel 0 – 4 Manchester City

Porto 0 – 5 Liverpool

Real Madrid 3 – 1 Paris St. Germain

Bayern Munich 5 – 0 Beşiktaş

Chelsea 1 – 1 Barcelona

Sevilla 0 – 0 Manchester United

Shaktar Donestk 2 – 1 Roma

This all means that Liverpool,  Man City,  and Bayern are safely through. Everything else is up in the air.  Well,  Real probably have the next best shot to go through, but a PSG 2-0 win at home would do the trick.  It will be interesting to see if they have that in them.

In the meantime, we STILL have league action going on!  There is not much movement as Man City is ahead of Man United by a comfortable 16 points, Bayern is ahead in the Bundesliga by a comfortable 19 points, and Paris St. Germain is ahead in the French Ligue 1 by a comfortable 12 points.

Meanwhile, Barcelona is ahead in La Liga by a not-so-comfortable 7 points over Atlético Madrid with a head-to-head meeting coming up on March 4. Juventus still trails Napoli by one in Serie A.

Here are today’s matches,  first for the US and then Canada:

Damn, I guess it’s Tax Season…

Ok, you heathens, have at it!

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King Hippo

upset I considered but didn’t bet? BC v. Miami, after they fucked me midweek v. my shitty wolves. SIGH.

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SonOfSpam

Shohei making his debut right now; actually watching a spring training game is weird but necessary.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

My phone gave me a score alert on the Cubs yesterday and I was mighty confused.

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King Hippo

I have the #BFIB on in the background. Playing the Mets, so extra exhibition-y

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SonOfSpam

Leadoff hitter goes ground rule double to dead center.

That’s it, trade Ohtani to the Rays for future considerations.

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SonOfSpam

Ok, #2 hitter down on strikes. Crisis averted.

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King Hippo

Pokes got back within 5 at the half. Doable.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

VPI finally pulling away from Ville, in a fixture I shockingly did NAWT bet

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

What’s your GAMBLOR action this viewing window?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Never put you cat in the dryer; jusssayin’

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King Hippo

Heavy on Okie State ML, little on Scary Wheat -7.5

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Buena Suerte

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scotchnaut

The sound effects of the swords (“ting, ting”) reminded me of a song that I adore for its frankness.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v1c2OfAzDTI

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scotchnaut

The song was inspired by a meeting with a recording executive that didn’t bother to do his homework.

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King Hippo

When this came out, I would sing “that’s not my twin” to Abby and Claire, who responded with a deadpan “That’s not my Dad.“

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scotchnaut

I like your kids. They got they’s head on straight.

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King Hippo

they have their good points, especially before they started hating me so much (though I certainly hate me too and can’t really blame them)

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scotchnaut

How old?

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King Hippo

in the 13-15 range, it happened

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

h

ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/7c50e5ef3aa6705a5c0a465473753090/tumblr_p35q70ULqc1qzhjh2o1_400.gif

Porn Stunts Gone Wrong; Death of a Career.

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scotchnaut

/I’m moving on to The Princess Bride

The fencing whoo-ha between Mandy and Cary is about to commence…

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Being left handed is overrated

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Sharkbait

Watford 1-0 Everton 79′

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King Hippo

Fat Sam gon’ Fat Sam

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

have a 2nd Madhouse Cottagers!!

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litre_cola

Very good start to my day. Heading to see good Riddance tonight too.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Related; the chicken stock discussion below: be VERY careful on the farm getting the chicken. Accidents happen, people.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Or you could go to the store or buy premade.

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scotchnaut

How these non-free range chickens live their short and brutal lives is a complete disgrace!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

million to one shot, Doc!

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scotchnaut

/Implied blowjob by Sandra makes cheating husband apologize for his future cheating?

Good job, writers!

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JustStopDude

Wait…what Olympic sport is this?!?!

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scotchnaut

It isn’t a sport yet. YET!

Personally, I’ve been advocating for Synchronised Fellatio, myself. And I’m not a prude-there will be men’s and women’s competitions.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

/showing my age…

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eUDcTLaWJuo

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Damn new fangled music!

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King Hippo

Duquense…ugh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

Yeah. Bummer.comment image

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

This is Nadezhda Sergeeva. Specifically her protest pic about the Olympic Committee sanctions against Russia. She is part of the Bob Sled Team.

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The poor woman has a heart condition, hence why she popped positive for trimetazidine, which is a banned drug.

This shit is just fucking hilarious to me…

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King Hippo

I don’t believe a fucking thing that comes out of the Rooskies. They don’t do anything but lie and cheat. Sorry.

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, I believe the doctor that signed off on that claim as much as I believed the Chinese government about the age of their gymnasts.

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scotchnaut

Then she shouldn’t have had a heart condition then.

/employing NRA logic

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litre_cola

1 nil at half time. Waking up Decilitre totally worth it. Mrs cola not impressed.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

if she doesn’t believe in White supremacy, there will be problems raising Deciltre right

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litre_cola

Some may take that the wrong way if the aint know the nickname.

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King Hippo

Hee hee. I am terrible, but being consistent with it makes purty clear is joke (methinks)

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

Sandra is not negotiating multiple timelines very well right now. Let’s watch and see if she figures it out.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well that’s horrifying

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I KNOW! scotchnaut’s comment frightened me too!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Anybody else a little gassy?

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King Hippo

I’m juicing again, and the one I usually make is primarily kale and zuchinni. Let’s just say it’s good that I be a recluse in MOAR ways than social.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

oh man, the first week is just hell on earth. But I needs a new job, so I need to lose the paunch. I ain’t getting any smarter or more charismatic.

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litre_cola

Yeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh get in!!!!!

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King Hippo

White POWER!!!!!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

It is snowing here too.

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King Hippo

Hippo NO SMIRE Soapbox re NCAA FBI shit, as I e-mailed to a bunch of fellow wolven folk, as a reply to Dennis Smith, Jr. (who received $50K to go to NC State) being on the list:

I would like to see every single program put on probation, forget the “you can’t prove it” nonsense, they all benefitted and (like with NC State’s case) we know the denials are all bullshit. THEN once the punishment is issued, start a regime that allows some sort of payment structure (not sure what it would look like) over the table. Not smart enough to come up with it myself, but I’m sure transparency and guardrails would be both more equitable to the many and more morally/intellectually honest than the current system of empowering pimps and the existing power structure.

But they will likely sacrifice AZ and Ville, blame the rest on “a few bad apples.” Such is life.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Moose does have a point, I gots to give him that ,, smh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I stopped reading at NCAA. So only Stupid Sexy Hippo Ass.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

I’m making a batch of chicken stock tonight, and I want to make a new soup tomorrow. Anyone have any good recipes?

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scotchnaut

The first time I made chicken noodle soup I dumped the egg noodles right into the soup so that they soaked up all the liquid and expanded way past their usual size. Don’t do that. You’re welcome.

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Sharkbait

Ive been making this with turkey stock I made. Very simple and delicious soup.

https://www.thekitchn.com/recipe-jacques-pepins-rustic-leek-and-potato-soup-223883

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Fronkenshteen

Yeah. I’m making that. Thanks!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I am pretty sure it was covered in one of the Sunday Gravy posts.

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yeah right

Correct.

Lentil stew with red onion and Ethiopian spices, or berbere, garlic and chicken stock is delicious. I believe it’s called Misr Wot and I may have just given a spoiler.

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King Hippo

anyone gets bored and decides they want to murder Jay Bilas, let me know and I will send ya 20 bucks

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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scotchnaut

“Hippo’s On A Roll!”

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King Hippo

/please apply to Syracuse and/or San Jose State AMEN

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

To get rolled by your mom.

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scotchnaut

get rolled by your mom

[in a sing-song voice]

“I know Moose’s fetish. I know Moose’s fetish.”

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King Hippo

Joanie from Deadwood or GFTO

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You have to admit; she was a great lay.

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scotchnaut

Hippo’s mom? I tried but couldn’t close the deal. Kudos to you, sir!

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scotchnaut

Bullock is a rich man’s Ashley Judd.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Both need to be type-casted as moms or lawyers, maybe a doctor from here on out.

OK, maybe a whorehouse madam in the south c. 1920s.

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scotchnaut

a whorehouse madam in the south c. 1920s.

[in a sing-song voice]

“I know Moose’s fetish. I know Moose’s fetish.”

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Prolly be easier to eliminate the few things that aren’t.

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scotchnaut

/watching Premonition (2007)

Sandra Bullock’s posterior is to die for

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scotchnaut

Her preterior isn’t bad either.

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King Hippo

she went to EZU so pretty safe to say it’s a well-traveled zone

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scotchnaut

So she played man-to-man-to-man-to-man?

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

…….man-to-man-to-man-to-man…….man-to-man-to-man-to-man…………..

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

University of Butt Seks?

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King Hippo

More commonly known for alcohol poisoning but yes, that too

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King Hippo

speaking of which, there was a gal in our high school who acquired the nickname “Rip” from a Spring Break, uh, rogering incident.

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King Hippo

I despise how Bloodeyes play hoopsball. Jamie Dixon is a black hole FOAR joy.

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scotchnaut

[sees Preseason Baseball listing on tv]

[bares teeth, covers eyes with hands, shrieks like a vampire being shown a cross]

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King Hippo

good reminder, I may have to switch to #BFIB feed at halftime, this ESPN3 feed is jumpy as fuck

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King Hippo

I already lied, Cuse is perfectly set up to upset Dook, and the odds increased from +750 to +900. Put $90 MOAR on it. Gotta jump on that elevator.

It’s Clubhouse Canadia (Litre, Scotchy) Bandwagon Day at DFO!

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scotchnaut

You’re seeing something I don’t but the team has sapped my ability to feel love and hope.

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King Hippo

Backs TOTES against the wall, you’re good on the road (see Miami), Duke FBI drama.

Also Duquesne up 20-11 WOO

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King Hippo

$2,300 into the GAMBLOR world, I have promised myself no re-investments let’s just see what comes back from these here fishin’ lines…

Should be $550ish back from Huddersfield and Ipswich, nice start. Odds of PROFIT…prettay, prettay, prettay good!

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Sharkbait

Why the fuck did I volunteer to do 12 hours today?

Anyone hiring a broadcast engineer?

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King Hippo

you ok with imaginary scrilla??

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Balls was trying to talk me into porn writing jobs the other day. Broadcast engineer sounds like something they need in porn.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Who’s got two thumbs and misread the helpful info makeitsnow sent and went to a Pliny tapping one day early?

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yeah right

Nooo. Is it The Younger or The Elder?

I understand The Younger release can be insane.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

Younger. Exactly.

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yeah right

Crap.

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King Hippo

your semi-regular reminder that Alan Pardew is a cunt. And WBA are going the fook down where they belong.

/with apologies to the class Gareth Barry

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Unsurprised

App Store: in the search bar

* AdGuard
* 1Blocker
* Crystal

They’re all free. They should all activate upon installation or have instructions (Settings > Safari > Content blockers)

There are also browsers with built-in adblockers and security. I’m actually using Brave right now. This is a good one.

I also have OpenDNS running on my home router.

Basically we need a DFOU article on safe, free surfing.

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Unsurprised

Oh wait. You’re using Android. Sorry, bro. You’re on your own.

On the plus side, we did get that very useful and surprising information that you shouldn’t touch downed power lines. The more you know.

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bk109

If only there was a way to do that on Android devices.. OHWAIT.. there is a way, lol.. Two in fact, if selling your soul for an over-designed, under-engineered device is also an option 😉

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King Hippo

once again, ah type…

#BlackBerry4Lyf

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bk109

Blackberry… Err, dude, I think you should stop drinkin’ for the weekend…

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yeah right

Southern California Edison is real thoughtful that way. Also real thoughtful to charge twice what LADWP does.
Bastards.

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King Hippo

2 of my 3 entropic long-shot Lesser Footy bets are coming good (Huddersfield and Ipswich Town). Super long-shot Bolton are still level, but I need a goal…

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JustStopDude

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Wakezilla

Some hoser in Japan is pissing and moaning about the fact he spent cash on the Olympics for hockey and curling a year and a half in advance, and didn’t get to see Canada’s men in the hockey gold medal game or in Curling.

What I find interesting is the line “”Canada was very heavily –favoured to be in the gold medal match, and we all assumed,”

Gold medal match? Heavily favoured? This asshole thought the NHLers were going to Korea.

I say we blame him for this because he jinxed Canada.

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JustStopDude

Oh its even better because he also had tickets to the women’s hockey final and the men’s curling final.

He jinxed three events! The Trifecta!!!

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Wakezilla

I’ll give him a pass for the women’s game because the American women are slightly better and Canada’s coach is an idiot. Quuite frankly, I’m shocked neither she has resigned nor Hockey Canada fired her for her hack coaching job in that game.

But the rest? He jinxed them!

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JustStopDude

I got into an argument last night with an asshole because I said Germany upsetting Canada is bigger than the Miracle on Ice.

My line of thought is a hell of a lot more of the US players ended up in the NHL than any of these Germans ever will.

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litre_cola

This is fantastic.

https://twitter.com/GermanyDiplo/status/967079630854291456

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JustStopDude

Yeah…my coworkers from Germany did not take the advice, hence us getting shitfaced, calling up our Canadian coworkers and starting shit all night long…

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Wakezilla

Far from being a YUGE upset, let alone MOI.

Germany’s players all play in the German league, which is a decent league and many of those players play on the same team. They also showed they were a fast, tight nit group that could play an effective trap, as evidence by beating Canada, Sweden and Switzerland.

Canada couldn’t even use AHL players. Their players were from all over Europe.

With the exception of OAR, this is a legitimately level tournament

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JustStopDude

The MOI is so fucking overblown.

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JustStopDude

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Downtown Hamilton looks rough this morning…

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litre_cola

Having been to Hamilton I can attest that this looks like a good day.

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litre_cola

If Man City were just a bit shittier this would be a hell of a race. That being said, I detest all of the chasers anyway.

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King Hippo

ugggggh, Huddersfield just got robbed off the line TWICE (watching them at WBA b/c bet them at +400)

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litre_cola

I was going to ask.

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King Hippo

GOOOOOAAAAALLLLL!!!!

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litre_cola

This Hammers v Pool game is fucking pretty good.
Baby asleep
Dog doing better
Wife out grocery shopping.
Excellent.

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Fronkenshteen

Channel?

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litre_cola

TSN4 for me. Not sure about ‘Merica

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King Hippo

CNBC

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Fronkenshteen

Thx. Go Duquesne (sp?)!!!

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King Hippo

she don’t lie she don’t lie she don’t LIEEEEEEE

DuuuuQUESNE!!!

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddamn, that mower is heavy as shit. Getting it up and into Dave’s ass wasn’t fun. I’m too old for this shit. Imma need some of blax’s meds later methinks.

I’m off to do some yard work in what can only be called a yard in the loosest of definitions.

Later Taters.

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Senor Weaselo

Getting it up and into Dave’s ass wasn’t fun

Did nobody seriously say PHRASING?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I can’t stop laughing at this.

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scotchnaut

Stupid Canucks can’t hold their soju.

/at least when a Canadia apologizes there’s a decent chance that they’re sincere

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King Hippo

youse plan to win at Cameron and make me like 9 bills, RIGHT??

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scotchnaut

That’s what I’m rootin’ for, for sho.

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King Hippo

/up to 17 bills WOO

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theeWeeBabySeamus

ICYMI: There’s a bunch of hot cheerleader types bouncing around on NFLN right now.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Never mind. I’m too slow.

It’s gonna be OBJ and Eli dancing after the commercial. Ain’t nobody got time for that.

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King Hippo

GOOD NEWS! Wolves/Whites (no ofence) is streaming on ESPN3, if’n y’all want to lend Litre some moral support.

May have to GAMBLOR it now, stick with betting a Draw to limit jinx impact?

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King Hippo

weekly reminder that Jurgen Klopp can and should die in a fire.

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bk109

What a weird typo, shouldn’t it be more like “weekly reminder that the Red part of Liverpool can and should die in a fire.”

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King Hippo

“you’ll never burn alive alone”

Hippo SMIRE!

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King Hippo

I like Duquesne, San Jose State, and Syracuse to make yuuuuuuuuuge upsets today (the latter two FBI news-aided), and have put money where my mouth is.

/not much behind Doors 2 and 3, odds are astronomical

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m sitting on my $500ish bank this weekend.
No action. Haven’t had time to look at matchups.

Hell, I forgot we played tonight until about five minutes ago.

I need to apply myself better.

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King Hippo

tomorrow night

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit, really?

I guess Mrs. Valettuti, my 4th grade teacher was right.

Meh, bitch is dead now. Fuck her.

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddamn Hippo, I just checked the schedule. You are correct, Sir.

Holy shit I’ve been detached lately.

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Fronkenshteen

I see Duq +285. What’d you get ’em at?

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bk109

Errrm, balls? Why don’t ya just grab a bloody ad-blocker already, ’cause you’re wasting a lot of screen estate to … whatever TurboTax is?… also, err….. can someone please sedate me for the weekend, ’cause I reaaaaally want to miss us getting curb-stomped by PetroDollar City?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Be happy the ads are TurboTax.

I keep waiting for Hookerz R Us.

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bk109

Eh, at least those may be interesting and of use to the dirtier-minded DFOans.. Btw, I wonder why no one has made an Uber, butt for Sex?

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Don’t give him any ideas.

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bk109

Hey, “Horny, but lazy” is a growing and profitable demographic!

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ballsofsteelandfury

I can’t even figure out ad-blockers….

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King Hippo

This should be worked into the National Anthem somehow

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theeWeeBabySeamus

So, trying to decide whether to stay home today and watch sportsballz all day. While getting drunk.

Or whether to go back over to that piece of shit house, work outside in the surprisingly nice weather we’ve got going here, and up it’s curb appeal a little bit. While getting drunk.

Maybe I’ll just start getting drunk and see what happens.

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litre_cola

I think you sholud have a drink to figure it out. I would say have a smoke but your brother in law is an ass.

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litre_cola

Yuuge match at 1130 DFO time at the Cottage. I will be screaming at my television machine as the Wolves visit teh mighty Fulham.

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King Hippo

feels weird to hate on Wolves, but as a famous Wild Card once wrote this must do!!

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