Today is slower than yesterday.
NFL News:
Mike Tomlin is not a fan of touchdown celebrations. This is apparently news.
- Given how many timeouts he has to waste on extra points, I can see why.
- He wouldn’t have that problem if he had Hue Jackson’s team.
- Michael Bennett turned himself in to authorities on assault charges stemming from allegedly knocking over a paraplegic stadium attendant at the Super Bowl.
- The sheriff has already guaranteed a mistrial by poisoning the jury pool, by referring to Bennett as “pathetic” and “morally corrupt” during the announcement of the charges.
- Passed unanimously, the new rules defining a catch include:
- Control of the ball.
- Two feet down or another body part.
- A football move such as:
- A third step;
- Reaching/extending for the line-to-gain; or
- the ability to perform such an act.
- It eliminate the “going to the ground” aspect of the catch process.
- In other words,
- The mayor of London wants a Super Bowl.
- Sadiq Khan clearly sees the draw of The Big Game©®™, but he will have to wait until some team starts demanding a new stadium from their city.
- I don’t think the Spanoi clan could handle the gray London winters. Dean seems soft.
- Sadiq Khan clearly sees the draw of The Big Game©®™, but he will have to wait until some team starts demanding a new stadium from their city.
Finally, as you can see from the banner, the coaches took their annual Winter Meeting photo – minus Messers Belichick, Carroll & Harbaugh. Andy Reid, as usual, was the only one to take the whole palm tree environment to heart.
which many on Twitter are comparing to “Florida Stanley”.
Tonight’s sports:
- NHL:
- no national broadcasts
- NBA:
- Nuggets at Raptors – 7:30PM | TSN
- Cavaliers at Heat – 8:00PM | TNT
- Bucks at Clippers – 10:30PM | TNT
- Pacers at Warriors – 10:30PM | Sportsnet1
- NCAA:
- NIT Basketball Tournament: Semi-finals
- Western Kentucky vs. Utah – 7:00PM | ESPN
- Mississippi State vs. Penn State – 9:00PM | ESPN
- NIT Basketball Tournament: Semi-finals
- Futbol:
- International Friendly Soccer:
- U.S. vs. Paraguay – 7:30PM | FS1
- Mexico vs. Croatia – 9:50PM | FS1
- International Friendly Soccer:
- WWE:
- Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
Boy, does the NHL sure know marketing. A week to go until the playoffs, and they can still afford to have no national broadcasts to pump up potential playoff matchups. As always, fuck Roger Goodell, but really – FUCK GARY BETTMAN!
Evening, all. I am staying at the weirdest airbnb of all time. It’s three separate rooms all unconnected with lots of exterior doors opening up to the courtyard. I kinda like it.
So there’s naked women in the courtyard?
/opens all the doors
Nope
Boo
My apologies, everyone. I can’t seem to reconcile Black or White.
Like when someone says all cops are evil.
That shit just annoys the shit outta me.
Now if you’ll excuse me, Nathan Explosion and I have a date with the Middle East. Oh yeah, we gon’ fix this shit.
Agreed all generalizations are fucking idiotic……
WAIT! MOST generalization are fucking idiotic.
Chapter 1
“The present sucks and the future will blow”, muttered Masper, while poring over Good Charlotte songs on his Nano.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5EqWN4fT79s
9/11 reenactment? That’s a thing now?
No.
I do not feel like leaving my hotel room so for dinner I am eating a banana and some chocolate cake.
That’s not quite what I meant by “save the receipts”…
Is this Roger Stone?
Aw, darn, apparently it is not.
More Alejandra Guilmant.
Hell of an homage to Army of Darkness
Moar Barbara Mori?
¡¡¡¡¡Sí!!!!!
Fucking Oilers How can you be so bad jesus fuck
Flyers collapse the second they get the Bettman point and the cat just bit me
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mnCTOiw66aw
Go Caps?
hehehehe….sorry.
A mix of floral talking points with musky contempt
Shit. I need some of those.
…
And a strong kick in the ass.
Incense is good. Now, “Call Deadbeat Client Sativa” is what the world needs.
That’s pretty funny.
Flyers continue to Bettman Point their way to the playoffs
Ice Cowboys continue to be absolut ass with two (2!) Bettman Points and a shakey win tonight in their last eleven games … and they are not on their way to the playoffs.
http://i.imgur.com/1kvxs.png
Fuck! I hate imgur
It’s a shitty image host and a shitty community full of fucking dipshits and assholes.
Twitter right-wingers are the saddest bunch of fucking losers in the world. (Spoilered for size)
I would call them pussies, but it’s offensive since they have no depth or warmth.
And apparently the biggest wuss snowflakes ever, jesus what a bunch of easily threatened fucking pussies.
Don’t be trigger them. They need their safe space!
#walkupnotout is 100% disingenuous bullshit (I say, assuming you all are idiots who don’t already know this).
— I Tried to Befriend Nikolas Cruz. He Still Killed My Friends.
It’s not so much that it’s disingenuous. It’s that nothing, no matter how well-meaning or well-intentioned, will ever reach some people.
There probably are some young folks who feel disenfranchised, who this sort of thing could help.
Sadly however, there are some people who are irreparably broken and nothing will reach them.
Some of them are dangerous.
Sad but true.
It’s disingenuous in that it was created and promoted by a bunch of gunfuckers just to distract people from the fact that people are no longer buying into or afraid of letting them stick their AR-15 barrels into their dickholes at the expense of people’s lives.
I should also mention that the people who started it are literally the same assholes who say “fuck your feelings” and call people cucks and snowflakes and talk about safe spaces. But mass shooters are middle or upper-class privileged white men who have families and support networks and are just evil assholes, so they are the ones people decide need to be coddled.
The people who are ostracized and left out totally should be reached out towards – except that those are the people who are victims of mass shootings and all other school and domestic and general violence; women, LGBTQ, minorities, disabled and impaired, etc. Basically groups that never act out violently against others in spite of the bullying they suffer on a regular basis. They just kill themselves, so nobody gives a fuck about them.
OK, I had started a reply, then you edited.
And since this seems way more of a hot button issue for you than I originally expected, I’m just gonna bow out now and not offend you further.
My apologies.
(but also, over generalizing about these sorts of things helps no one….just saying)
The groups you name are not the exclusive victims of mass shootings. You know that, right? In fact, it’s usually kinda the other way ’round. If there even is a logic to an insane fucker walking thru a school and shooting it up.
WHICH THERE FUCKING IS NOT!!!!!!
Yes, those groups get bullied a lot tho. I can certainly admit that. So then what in the ever loving fuck is wrong with a campaign to open communication between “peers”, so they can better understand one another, no matter who starts it or who YOU think is the bad guy here?
If it could do some good, should it be scrapped as disingenuous just because you don’t like its origins?
Sure…sounds about right.
G’nite everybody.
Not all gun owners would sacrifice the well-being of even one other human being for their guns. How do I know this? Because I’m one of them.
The NRA is political. Nothing more, nothing less. Fuck ’em. I have no use for them.
I’d give up all of my guns and every single piece of ammunition I own if it would fix the problem. Or even just fix one kid. But it won’t. That’s not the way the world works.
And over generalizing by people on either side, whose interest lies in themselves and getting themselves heard, will never fix the problem.
But if these hokey campaigns end up helping even one kid to rise above, no matter who starts them on either side…?
Damned right I’m for that.
I’ll hand over all my guns to you tomorrow and we can melt them down…. if you can tell me how you’d fix this shit instead of just yelling everything sucks.
Last funny:
Remember kids, the Toys R Us bankruptcy and liquidation teaches us that poor spelling and grammar will always catch up with you eventually.
nite nite.
More importantly, the real lesson here is that the racket the boys run in Goodfellas to bust out the lounge is totally legal when a hedge fund does it. Mitt Romney didn’t become a billionaire because Bain Capital was ethical or legal.
Barbara Mori: Attractive Mexican.
Can you imagine trying to fit that fucker for contact lenses?
Holy shit.
overtime in Sharks vs blues. 2-2 final after 3 periods.
blues win. darn.
Shit, I’m not watching and was joking.
How’d they win?
GODDAMMIT NOW I GOTTA WATCH SPORTSCENTER INSTEAD OF MASTURBATING TO FIND OUT IF I’M REALLY PSYCHIC DAMN YOU ROCKINGDOG!!!!!!!!
St Loo gon’ get a freak top shelf 3 hole.
Soory. Yes I’m psychic.
Or maybe psycho. Same difference.
Watching “Social Network” while Facebook still exists and Zuckerberg still has money.
I know they phrase it to where Zuckerberg screwed his friend over with the influence of the Napster guy, but to be honest, its not completely Zuckerberg’s fault. If you’re the CFO of a company and that company moves to California and you don’t go with them, where I come from that’s at best “not being fully committed” and at worst “quitting”. Also him freezing the accounts should definitely be grounds for termination or something. He’s the CFO so he does have control of the accounts, but as the majority owner, Zuckerberg ultimately has the final decision what to do with that money. Just because the boss gives me the keys to petty cash doesn’t mean I run to the racino to bet on the ponies. The fact that he put the money in is irrelevant. Once he invested that money, it ceased being his money.
True, Zuckerberg screwed him out of the money, but in reality, he should’ve pulled his friend in line once he felt uncomfortable with Sean Parker and given him an Off Ramp Speech. “If you with us, you’re with us full speed. If not, there’s the door, no hard feelings.”
He also should’ve actually read the motherfucking paperwork.
HARVARD BUSINESS, EVERYBODY!
But there’s a reason they didn’t show any of the actual meeting between Zuck and Peter Thiel or the other VCs, because then they’d have to admit that he wasn’t just magnanimously making an awesome social website but was building a platform to collect, analyze, sell, and control a fuckton of information. And it was always that bad. I didn’t sign up until 2008 because I already knew that was its business model, and I never wanted to or ever really did use it until I had to create a new account for law school. Now I’m fucking stuck.
I know I can scrub all my data and not share anything and I should, but I have enough problems already.
Olde Skool Hawkee in the Ice Cowboys barn tonight dontchaknow!
I can’t stop laughing at the sandals.
That’s because you’ve got two identical pairs.
We’re still talking about sandals, right?
6-4 with 2 line brawls?
Someone say “Sexy Mexicans”…?
(well that’s what i heard)
Rakitic is playing!
Who’s up for some Mexican Croatian Hold It Holds It Action?!?
I am curious to see how the Croats manage “friendly”
It’s interesting the game is in Jerra”s World.
go where the Mexicans are!
I regret to inform you the New York Rangers are officially eliminated from the playoffs
Bettman shall cancel the playoffing now, yeah?
It won’t stop him from being booed
http://i0.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/038/787/4d4.jpg
Are you telling me giving up 50 shots a night isn’t a strategy for success?
Do they bring back King Henrik one more time, or do they actually want to be playing in May?
Under contract for 3 more years!
I regret to inform you the Colorado Rockies are officially eliminated from the pennant race.
No, that’s the San Francisco Giants!
I’m OK with that.
Semi-related; Rockies games are great on hot days….. titties and beer.
You’re a good boy, and doggone it, people like you
*fondles a sleeping cat*
Today is the day.
Fuck that Mailman….he gets bit good today.
Also guys, when you take candid shots of your pets….
CLEAN YOUR FUCKING HOUSE UP FIRST.
Jeebus. Fucking slobs.
Or make sure that there is enough fur that it appears the shot was taken in The Furdome.
/lives in a furdome.
Here’s a Convair 880, the Courtney Love of jet transports because it had poor sales and drank too much and murdered Kurt Cobain just as surely as if it had put the barrel in his mouth and pulled the fuckin’ trigger:
Hello commentists I hope you are all well. I have been in Salmon Arm BC for 4 days now and I have yet to see a salmon with arms, or a salmon’s arm for that matter.
Armed Salmon? Fuck dat shit.
Is that euphemism for a Canadian penis?
Funny that KU is getting 3:1 odds to win the title, Loyola 12:1…when they are BOTH 5-pt dogs (2:1, basically) on Saturday.
found another funny:
Me reading The Hunger Games in 2008: wow what a crazy, unrealistic story
2018: children are going to the capital to fight for their right to not be murdered by each other and a creepy looking TV star is there pretending like nothing is wrong.
Damn, that’s good.
These white boys aren’t like anyone else; that’s part of the problem.
I’m kind of sleepy, but I also have the princely sum of $52.25 on Miss’sip State in the nightcap. Feeling my oats off that big CBI winning wager. NEVAR go wrong with them Dons, man, especially at home.
I’m out.
I requested my $3k yesterday. With any luck, it arrives before I board a plane to California in May.
good job! USF got me to the $335 mark, so I gots a fair way to go LOL.
KState, Texas Tech, and Loyola all cooperated.
Time foar tWBS to quit while he’s ahead.
I’m betting 50 big’uns the Ramblers got one more win up they sleeve.
/because now want all Jesuit final
You are braver than I, Sir.
THIS KING HIPPO I CALL HIM THE ALLMAN BROTHERS BAND BECAUSE SOME BAIT AND SWITCH JOKE THAT LEADS TO A NOT “RAMBLIN’ MAN” TITLE
Sharks vs Blues. should be good. now its 2-1 Sharks up….Oh yea!!!!
Pitt hired Jeff Capel. There should be a Dave Attell roast joke for that.
Holy shit.
I mean, I get that it’s Pitt and they don’t exactly get first dibs at the buffet line, but JEEBUS
Dave Attell at the Andy Dick Roast: “Andy is between projects right now, and by that I mean rehab and jail.”
@Hippo….theCowdog is alive and well. He responded earlier to some lame bullshit joke I put up on facebook.
We need to rope him back in, no?
if we all live to footbaw season!
All right, tonight’s Buddy thread spam theme is: Buddy favorite roast jokes!
Colin Quinn to Artie Lange: “I got some other good jokes, but I’m saving them for your wake.”
Betty White to William Shatner: “I caught the bouquet at Bill’s wedding, and God willing I’ll catch the cock ring at Sulu’s.”
Jeff Ross to Courtney Love 2x: “Courtney is like the girl next door… if you live next to a methadone clinic.”
“Who would’ve ever thought you would look worse than Kurt Cobain?”
this is a close hoopsballing costest, but not a particularly good one
So if I tell my redneck piece o’ shit aunt I’m an atheist….then she tells me she’s afraid for me and she hopes my soul will be saved…then I ask her “Saved from what? If there really is an afterlife I’d rather be in hell.”
Is that wrong?
tell her your a Secret Muslim, that will be MOAR fun
Holy shit, I wish I’d thought of that.
😛
Just say “Allahu akbar – God is great!” and promise not to kill her.
except FOAR in defense of teh faith ,, obvs
Tell her you were Saved By The Bell, and then snap on some sweet Vuarnets & cruise on outta there.
“I sold my soul to Buddy Cole, you incorrigible wench.”
dem monologues HALLELUJAH!!
You didn’t go with Satanism or Wicca? I’m disappointed.
Me and my sister were raised by Catholic Democrats. I’m an atheist leftist, and she’s ex-military Wiccan libertarian (I know, right?). Family gatherings are currently not a thing we’re invited to.
That would make your family the second notable Catholic Democrats to get their minds blown.
HINT to the announcer guy – nobody is ever intimidated at the fucking NIT
So, what does a paraplegic stadium attendant actually do?
sits, mostly
A) Nod at ticketholders at the entrance gate
B) Check that all areas are handicap accessible
C) Hand out towels in the restroom with their mouths
Nice 3 by WKU’s Black Sideshow Bob (no idea whether he’s related to UK’s version)
Alright, I’m not starting a debate. I’m not trying to stir shit up. I’m not trying to troll/piss off/arouse/enrage anyone. I’m legitimately confused here and I’d like some help.
The Trump Administration inserts a question about citizenship status into the Census and everyone reacts like he crossed out John Hancock’s name on the Declaration of Independence and replaced it with his Richter Scale-like signature? Why? I can see why some undocumented immigrants would want to avoid answering for fear that the ICE will show up and drag them away. But as a undocumented immigrant, they would already want to avoid the Census because they don’t want to do anything that gets the attention of the Government anyway. Besides, by the time the census data hits after 2020, the Dems will be in charge and ICE will revert back to an border enforcement force instead of a modern day Sturmabteilung so it should be back to normal.
It’s a legitimate question. I think you’ve answered it yourself, though – census takers have a hard enough time getting responses from non-citizens already, they don’t need it made any worse.
what he said. But I honestly don’t know enough about the topic to tell if it’s just run-of-the-mill trolling or something more impactful.
¿Que?
ICE was formed in 2005 to be an American Gestapo and it has been its entire tenure. It’s just that no one in the media wanted to note that most of its existence and its history of unconstitutional and criminal activity happened when Obama was president. Now that he isn’t, the gloves are off.
Is it a crime to lie on the Census? If so, and I think it is, this be self-incrimination. Isn’t that
Putting it a better way: Who are you, Comrade Questions?
http://www.chicagotribune.com/news/immigration/ct-met-census-citizenship-question-20180117-story.html
http://www.businessinsider.com/trump-2020-census-citizenship-question-could-affect-economy-politics-2018-3
Seeing liberal twitter accounts unironically retweet Frank Luntz in agreement and I’m just sitting here waiting for the LHC to get around to that whole “accidentally opened a black hole in Europe” thing.
Oops.
Liberals are the new conservatives. Not even kidding. They can all go fuck themselves along with every other right-wing asshole.
Evening all! Today was a nice day. Tomorrow will be too!
found a funny:
at what point in life do you go from loving being young to hating young people?
anyway, some kid hit me with his frisbee in the park today so i threw it into traffic.
you did the right thing!
/97% of DFO nods sagely
I hate myself for wasting my first 38 years and counting.
here’s a little secret nobody tells ya – everything we can do with our lives is a fucking waste. Do MOAR drugs,
/unless fucking Alison Brie, or whatever the fuck it is your brother does
so…if I tell Alison I think I might be gay, she’ll fuck me??
/oh shit, the friend part. DAMN
You all laughed at me for being a Brony but whose laughing now?!
I have no idea what he does anymore. I don’t even thing he does.
This is incorrect. Posting gifs of hot women is NOT a waste.
Yes it is.
Didja throw the kid or the frisbee?
He said “it” so obviously the kid.
/ looks at NHL standings
Man, the East sucks!
// looks out window at 80 degree sunny day.
Man, the East sucks!
ur just jelly I gets to wear my sweats into April (apparently)
Looks like there’s about 500 people at the WKU-Utah game.
Lots of line movement towards WKU, looks like Vegas was right to doubt Team Secular Big Love.
/10 minute quarters makes me think this is some kind of middle school game
//also the amount of 69-based jokes
///only bet on Cowbells in the late fixture so bored
Wait, seriously the playoffs start next week? Where the fuck did the year go?
Gone. Like tears in the rain.
We’re old and we’re going to die. And we’ve wasted our lives.
What’s up, sunshine?