AFL Beat – 2018 Round 3

This week,

Levitation is real
A ball surprises a man
And Max Gawn reminds us that ZZ Top was great.

Welcome to Balls of Steel’s AFL Beat!

Round 3

The Round started off on North American late Thursday night with the winless Carlton Blues taking on the winless Collingwood Magpies. No,  I did not stay up late for this one.  Rather,  I woke up at my normal time and was able to watch a lot of the third and most of the fourth quarters before work called.

The Blues were game and kept it close in the first quarter,  but could not overcome the determination of the Pies. The final margin was 24. Here are the highlights:

Proper Friday night brought about a bunch of games,  the first being the clash between the Port Adelaide Power and the Brisbane Lions. Now, I thought this was going to be the blowout of the Round,  but the Lions did a magnificent job of roaring back (sorry) in the fourth and holding the Power to 5 points.

Unfortunately for the Lions,  those 5 points proved to be the difference in the game as the Power barely hung on to win.  Still,  props to the Lions for the effort.  Here are the highlights:

At roughly the same time,  the Battle of Teams with Melbourne in their Name raged as the Roos took on the Demons. Now,  you may be surprised to learn that the Demons had not beaten the Roos in 17 straight matches.

The Demons made sure it wouldn’t be 18 with a furious fourth quarter that culminated in an emphatic 123-86 win.  Here are the highlights:

Later that night,  Gold Coast “hosted” Fremantle in the Dockers’ home, Optus Stadium.  This was due to the Commonwealth Games being held in the Gold Coast and the Metricon stadium being occupied.

This did the Suns no favours and the Dockers were able to romp to a 96-68 (SO CLOSE!) win. Here are the highlights:

There were two late late night games and one seemed to be destined to be a blowout while the other looked to be a classic.

Let’s dispense with the suspense.  The Crows beat the crap out of the Saints to the tune of 104-55. Here are the “highlights”:

The interesting game was the Sydney Derby of GWS vs the Swans.  It was close for a half and then the Swans put their foot down and ran away from the Giants.  The final was 103-87 and was a well-deserved win for the home side.

The Giants are still in good shape,  but they’ll need to have learned some lessons from this game if they want to go far in finals.  Here are the highlights:

I was feeling frisky on Saturday night as I had picked the first 6 games perfectly in the Footy contest.  I was even thinking of a magical 9 for 9 weekend.  Alas,  I’m an idiot as I missed all 3 games on Saturday.

It all started with Hawthorn taking on Richmond at the MCG. I’d tipped the Hawks as they played really well against Geelong and the Tigers were not doing that well.  In reality,  both teams played well,  but it was a nice spell in the first half by the Tigers that did the Hawks in. Hawthorn managed to get the final margin down to 13 in the end,  but that was it.  Here are the highlights:

I also had thought that the Western Bulldogs were playing so badly that the Bombers would,  literally,  run all over them. Colour me surprised then,  when it was the Doggies dominating play and beating the Bombers by a healthy 21 points.  Here are the highlights:

Finally,  my Geelong Cats traveled to Perth to take on the West Coast Eagles.  Luckily for me,  I fell asleep before the game started as the Cats played a horrible first half,  falling behind by more than 30.

The third quarter,  though,  was a different story as the Cats came all the way back.  With ten minutes to go in the game,  the Cats were up by two goals.  Alas,  injuries, fatigue,  and the Eagles caught up to them in those last ten minutes.

The final score was 95-80 for the home team in a thrilling finish.  Here are the highlights:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1 Port Adelaide Power 3 0 0 12 135.0
2 GWS Giants 2 1 0 8 135.2
3 Adelaide Crows 2 1 0 8 130.9
4 Melbourne Demons 2 1 0 8 123.4
5 West Coast Eagles 2 1 0 8 114.0
6 Gold Coast Suns 2 1 0 8 110.9
7 Sydney Swans 2 1 0 8 108.2
8 Hawthorn Hawks 2 1 0 8 107.7
9 Richmond Tigers 2 1 0 8 101.0
10 Fremantle Dockers 2 1 0 8 97.8
11 North Melbourne Kangaroos 1 2 0 4 99.6
12 Geelong Cats 1 2 0 4 95.8
13 Essendon Bombers 1 2 0 4 91.6
14 Collingwood Magpies 1 2 0 4 90.4
15 St. Kilda Saints 1 2 0 4 73.0
16 Western Bulldogs 1 2 0 4 66.8
17 Bribane Lions 0 3 0 0 81.6
18 Carlton Blues 0 3 0 0 73.9

We only have ONE unbeaten team in the competition!  On the other end, we only have TWO teams without a victory.  Considering it’s Round 3, that’s pretty noteworthy and spells out how even this competition is.


Footy Tipping Contest

Here is where we are after Round 3:

P TIPPER Round Tips Round Margin TOTAL Tips TOTAL Margin
1 Joliet Jake Delhomme 7 2 19 20
2 SonOfSpam 7 10 18 36
3 Sunrisesunrise 6 13 18 67
4 SpankyDatass 6 12 17 54
5 WhyEaglesWhy 7 6 17 56
6 Litre_cola 7 7 17 61
7 BALLS 6 12 17 87
8 BFC 5 35 14 79
9 Dolph Ucker 5 4 13 73
10 Game Time Decision 4 49 12 139
11 nomonkeyfun 3 24 11 97
12 Sharkbait 3 24 11 136

Props to our new leader, JolietJakeDelhomme, for another good week to stay on top of the standings.  Anti-props to nomonkeyfun and Sharkbait who forgot to put their tips in and have thus subjected all of you to a foot fetish pic.  Don’t say I didn’t warn you…



AFL Round 4

Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Friday, April 13, 2018

2:50 AM (Late Thursday Night) – Adelaide Crows v Collingwood Magpies at Adelaide Oval

The Crows should cruise and move into first place after this one.

8:45 PM – GWS Giants v Fremantle Dockers at UNSW Canberra Oval

The Giants should be able to overtake the Crows for first after this one.

9:10 PM – Richmond Tigers v Brisbane Lions at the MCG

Lions fans had to be encouraged after this week’s effort,  but can the Lions complete the effort with a win? It’ll be tough against the reigning champions.

11:35 PM  – Western Bulldogs v Sydney Swans at Etihad Stadium

The Doggies seem due to a return to Earth,  but the game is in Melbourne…

Saturday,  April 14, 2018

2:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – North Melbourne Kangaroos v Carlton Blues at Blundstone Arena in Tasmania

This is one of those “Home” games for North Melbourne in Tasmania.  This is also one of the few opportunities for Carlton to get a win this year.

3:10 AM (Late Friday Night) – West Coast Eagles v Gold Coast Suns at Optus Stadium

Gold Coast stayed in Perth the entire week after losing to Fremantle.  I don’t think it will help.

8:10 PM – Essendon Bombers v Port Adelaide Power at Etihad Stadium

The Bombers need to show that they aren’t returning to the bad old days of irrelevancy.

10:20 PM – Hawthorn Hawks v Melbourne Demons at the MCG

The Hawks will relish the chance to get back into the Eight at the expense of the Demons.

11:40 PM – Geelong Cats v St. Kilda Saints at GMHBA Stadium

Geelong desperately needs this game. Almost as much as it needs its players to get healthy.


That’s all for this week.  A lot of good games are on tap and we are slowly getting to see who is really good and who had a good start thanks to the schedule.  See you next week!



International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.
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As opposed to that time Ray Lewis removed life from that guy.


-The Onion, surrendering

King Hippo

Fucking Carlton. At least I don’t bet on them.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook


Every word of this post and the comments below are in English and yet…

Game Time Decision

the accent throws me every time, too


Viewing party to explain it? (I do not remember where you live)

yeah right

I’m not sure how to handle Freemantle being over .500. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.


‘Taint looking good for teh Cats. *sigh*

On the bright side, the two nekkid blondes up there brightened my day.

LOL…I said taint.


Manziel should be playing in the AFL.


He would be ded in minutes.


Isn’t that a point in favor of blax’s argument?


“Stupid bombers, get it together!”

– Jimmy Doolittle, complaining that the formation had gotten too loose.


That Giants game was so frustrating. GWS dominated clearances and spent a lot of time in the forward 50, but as the announcers correctly pointed out, they kept just bombing it in there indiscriminately. Plus their conversion rate was terrible. Unlike normal life, too many behinds was a bad thing. Still, though, I wonder how that game turns out if Toby Greene isn’t out and Patton doesn’t have to spend nearly the whole game in the ruck.


And none of this is to take away from the Swans, who got a monster game out of Sam Reid and an incredible away from the ball performance plus two backbreaking goals from Buddy Franklin.