Request Line: Too Many Cooks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.

A young man settles into the chair behind the microphone.  He looks through the glass at the PRODUCER, who punches a button marked TALKBACK, frowns, then releases the button and pulls open the studio door and pokes his head inside. 

PRODUCER: You’re going to have to remove your helmet.

BRANDIN COOKS: Uh-uh.

PRODUCER: It’s going to be a lot tougher for us to communicate if you don’t put the headphones on.

COOKS: ‘At’s ine.  I ‘eel ‘afer ‘is ‘ay.

The PRODUCER sighs in exasperation, and moves entirely into the booth, taking a standing position next to BRANDIN COOKS.  He counts off audibly and then leans forward and punches a button on the console.

PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Request Line.  I’m here with newly minted local Brandin Cooks.  Welcome, Brandin.

COOKS: ‘Anks for ‘aving me.

PRODUCER: Now the last time we saw you was during the Super Bowl.  Any memories from the day that you’d like to share with our viewers?

COOKS: Oo ee ‘onest, I ‘ont ’emember all ‘at ‘uch a’out uh ‘ame.

PRODUCER: Oh…right.

PRODUCER: So it’s been quite a tour through the NFL for you so far – you’ve had the privilege of playing with Drew Brees on the Saints, Tom Brady when you were with the Patriots, and now with rising star Jared Goff here in Los Angeles.

COOKS: ‘At’s ‘rue.

PRODUCER: So I understand you’ve picked out a theme for today’s Request Line in tribute to that?

COOKS: ‘At’s ‘right.  ‘Oday’s ‘opic is ‘ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Looking’? As in, sightseeing, tourism…

COOKS: ‘O.  ‘Ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Booking’? Like, literature…

COOKS: [growing frustrated] ‘O.  ‘Ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Rooking’? You mean like the game of chess? I’m not sure there’s many songs about…

COOKS: ‘Ooking! Ooking ooking ooking!

PRODUCER: [puts hands out and shrugs]

COOKS: [mimes the “feed me” motion]

PRODUCER: Oh, COOKing.  Like restaurants, cuisine, eating, that sort of stuff.  No problem, got it.  Why don’t I get us started with a good old classic tune from Arlo Guthrie.

 

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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DFO Radio: Too Many Cooks – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]Low Commander of the Super Soldiersyeah righttheeWeeBabySeamusBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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nomonkeyfun

It’s a Psycho-Billy double shot!!!

nomonkeyfun

SonOfSpam

Best Smashing Pumpkins song? Yes, and also poorly spelled.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Don T

Dynamite song about one of my fave foods: twice-fried, smashed green plantains. Johnny Ventura – Patacón pisao

yeah right

theeWeeBabySeamus

SonOfSpam

VAN HALEN DOUBLE SHOT

LemonJello
LemonJello

Gratliff

theeWeeBabySeamus

SonOfSpam

Zeppelin has many food songs. This one is badass.

SonOfSpam

ZEPPELIN DOUBLE SHOT REDUX

SonOfSpam

Actual recipe in the song!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Pete Schweddy has a rebuttal….

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Libation of choice when I cook:

yeah right

Gratliff

The Cake Is An 11-Year Old Meme. Holy shit.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

If you can’t stand it, get out of the kitchen:

SonOfSpam

Fun fact: I worked at Disneyland in the 80s at a restaurant called The French Market (supposed to evoke a New Orleans feel), and we served “Jambalaya” which was horrid and foul and nothing like actual jambalaya.

LemonJello
LemonJello

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Southern buffet done right double shot:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQ7i1j_Si3U

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Triple shot:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dx7SVAQ0dZU

It is not a southern meal without biscuits.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Especially if from Bojangles:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xb4bQVUNjNo

Quad shot – I forgot how many songs they had about food

theeWeeBabySeamus

LemonJello
LemonJello

DAMMIT! How did I forget this one?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Right? FWIW there’s still a lot of pie on the board.

yeah right

This is about food right?
RIGHT?

Gratliff

Don T

Impeccable cooking taste:
-goat stew with wine
-fish with lemon juice
-pork with oregano and pepper
-rice with pork fat

El Gran Combo – El menú (que le pongan salsa)

Don T

¡Doble shot! Group AND stumping for salsa music thru Real Food—with a “light salad” dig at other music.

El Gran Combo – Arroz con habichuelas (Rice & Beans)

yeah right

Well now.

LemonJello
LemonJello

What time are we eating?

theeWeeBabySeamus

BrettFavresColonoscopy

You know what? I don’t hate this Billy Joel song

theeWeeBabySeamus

Christie Brinkley is judging you.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

She can do just about anything she wants to me

theeWeeBabySeamus

BrettFavresColonoscopy

LemonJello
LemonJello

Need something to wash all this food down?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Speaking of cake…

/ducks

SonOfSpam

Dude.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Someone expressed an affinity for artist/song double shots, right?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m counting pig as pork

LemonJello
LemonJello

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Value pick.

theeWeeBabySeamus

yeah right

Double Shot!

yeah right

Needs More Sugar.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Brown Sugar, perhaps?

LemonJello
LemonJello

yeah right

May be my favorite B-52s song.
Fun fact: this was produced by…David Byrne

LemonJello
LemonJello

Second slice!

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

LemonJello
LemonJello

theeWeeBabySeamus

LemonJello
LemonJello

Citrus is a good part of a balanced diet:

SonOfSpam

ZEPPELIN CITRUS DOUBLE SHOT

LemonJello
LemonJello

Something before the main course?

Senor Weaselo

No, I believe it’s after the steak actually.

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