Latest posts by Rikki-Tikki-Deadly (see all)
- Your Open Saturday Morning Open Championship Open Thread Open – July 21, 2018
- Request Line: Rock and/or Roll – July 20, 2018
- Blaxabbath Jr. Naming Thread – July 18, 2018
INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.
A young man settles into the chair behind the microphone. He looks through the glass at the PRODUCER, who punches a button marked TALKBACK, frowns, then releases the button and pulls open the studio door and pokes his head inside.
PRODUCER: You’re going to have to remove your helmet.
BRANDIN COOKS: Uh-uh.
PRODUCER: It’s going to be a lot tougher for us to communicate if you don’t put the headphones on.
COOKS: ‘At’s ine. I ‘eel ‘afer ‘is ‘ay.
The PRODUCER sighs in exasperation, and moves entirely into the booth, taking a standing position next to BRANDIN COOKS. He counts off audibly and then leans forward and punches a button on the console.
PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Request Line. I’m here with newly minted local Brandin Cooks. Welcome, Brandin.
COOKS: ‘Anks for ‘aving me.
PRODUCER: Now the last time we saw you was during the Super Bowl. Any memories from the day that you’d like to share with our viewers?
COOKS: Oo ee ‘onest, I ‘ont ’emember all ‘at ‘uch a’out uh ‘ame.
PRODUCER: So it’s been quite a tour through the NFL for you so far – you’ve had the privilege of playing with Drew Brees on the Saints, Tom Brady when you were with the Patriots, and now with rising star Jared Goff here in Los Angeles.
COOKS: ‘At’s ‘rue.
PRODUCER: So I understand you’ve picked out a theme for today’s Request Line in tribute to that?
COOKS: ‘At’s ‘right. ‘Oday’s ‘opic is ‘ooking.
PRODUCER: ‘Looking’? As in, sightseeing, tourism…
COOKS: ‘O. ‘Ooking.
PRODUCER: ‘Booking’? Like, literature…
COOKS: [growing frustrated] ‘O. ‘Ooking.
PRODUCER: ‘Rooking’? You mean like the game of chess? I’m not sure there’s many songs about…
COOKS: ‘Ooking! Ooking ooking ooking!
PRODUCER: [puts hands out and shrugs]
COOKS: [mimes the “feed me” motion]
PRODUCER: Oh, COOKing. Like restaurants, cuisine, eating, that sort of stuff. No problem, got it. Why don’t I get us started with a good old classic tune from Arlo Guthrie.