Request Line: Too Many Cooks

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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INT. RECORDING STUDIO – DAY.

A young man settles into the chair behind the microphone.  He looks through the glass at the PRODUCER, who punches a button marked TALKBACK, frowns, then releases the button and pulls open the studio door and pokes his head inside. 

PRODUCER: You’re going to have to remove your helmet.

BRANDIN COOKS: Uh-uh.

PRODUCER: It’s going to be a lot tougher for us to communicate if you don’t put the headphones on.

COOKS: ‘At’s ine.  I ‘eel ‘afer ‘is ‘ay.

The PRODUCER sighs in exasperation, and moves entirely into the booth, taking a standing position next to BRANDIN COOKS.  He counts off audibly and then leans forward and punches a button on the console.

PRODUCER: Good afternoon, and welcome to Request Line.  I’m here with newly minted local Brandin Cooks.  Welcome, Brandin.

COOKS: ‘Anks for ‘aving me.

PRODUCER: Now the last time we saw you was during the Super Bowl.  Any memories from the day that you’d like to share with our viewers?

COOKS: Oo ee ‘onest, I ‘ont ’emember all ‘at ‘uch a’out uh ‘ame.

PRODUCER: Oh…right.

PRODUCER: So it’s been quite a tour through the NFL for you so far – you’ve had the privilege of playing with Drew Brees on the Saints, Tom Brady when you were with the Patriots, and now with rising star Jared Goff here in Los Angeles.

COOKS: ‘At’s ‘rue.

PRODUCER: So I understand you’ve picked out a theme for today’s Request Line in tribute to that?

COOKS: ‘At’s ‘right.  ‘Oday’s ‘opic is ‘ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Looking’? As in, sightseeing, tourism…

COOKS: ‘O.  ‘Ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Booking’? Like, literature…

COOKS: [growing frustrated] ‘O.  ‘Ooking.

PRODUCER: ‘Rooking’? You mean like the game of chess? I’m not sure there’s many songs about…

COOKS: ‘Ooking! Ooking ooking ooking!

PRODUCER: [puts hands out and shrugs]

COOKS: [mimes the “feed me” motion]

PRODUCER: Oh, COOKing.  Like restaurants, cuisine, eating, that sort of stuff.  No problem, got it.  Why don’t I get us started with a good old classic tune from Arlo Guthrie.

 

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly
Law-abiding Raiders fan, pet owner, Los Angeles resident.

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DFO Radio: Too Many Cooks – [DOOR FLIES OPEN]Low Commander of the Super Soldiersyeah righttheeWeeBabySeamusBrettFavresColonoscopy Recent comment authors
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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

Weird songs about cannibalism work, right?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

CLUTCH DOUBLE SHAWWWT

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

I really want this to be a song in a zombie comedy movie.

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

comment image

Let’s see if I can get a few in under the radar before tomorrow:

yeah right

Well this needs to be there.

yeah right

I should have double shotted this earlier on tWBS pick but better late than never.

yeah right

yeah right

yeah right

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oooooh…nice.

yeah right

Late round value picks coming.

Senor Weaselo

Going to hell for this one.

yeah right

That’s fantastic.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Marcy Playground — Sex And Candy

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I almost posted this but thought Cake by the Ocean was enough #dayenu

yeah right

Double shot. Kind of.

King Hippo

sage advice FOAR teh kitchen!

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Another double I’m too lazy to scroll back and do.
Meh.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Always makes me giggle….

I hopped up and I said
“I don’t know, do you want to get something delivered?”
She’s like “Why would I want to eat liver?
I don’t even like liver!”

I’m like “No, I said ‘delivered'”
She’s like “I heard you say liver!”
I’m like “I should know what I said…”
She’s like “Whatever, I just don’t want any liver!”

theeWeeBabySeamus

yeah right

BrettFavresColonoscopy

LemonJello
LemonJello

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The blow is the cooking part:

LemonJello
LemonJello

Chefs’ Head Coach life motto?

LemonJello
LemonJello

nomonkeyfun

nomonkeyfun

And a double

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Double shot

theeWeeBabySeamus

LemonJello
LemonJello

Always good advice:

yeah right

Triple shot!
Don’t abuse the sausage patty.

Cuntler

S.O.D. – Milk

I miss my middle school thrasher days.

LemonJello
LemonJello

One for Herr Charlemango:

LemonJello
LemonJello

Snack-time, dessert-time, anytime!

nomonkeyfun

In honor of Sunday Gravy.

yeah right

It’s appreciated!

SonOfSpam

Louis Prima with a lesson on how to treat a lady on a date

LemonJello
LemonJello

Sometimes, you have to drink your meal.

nomonkeyfun

nomonkeyfun

Now for the shortest song of the day.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Watch now as I make RTD love me again.
(he loves the self-contained double)

LemonJello
LemonJello

SonOfSpam

I wonder if Tom Waits has a weird meandering story-song that fits this category

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

SonOfSpam

The origin of my nom d’net:

LemonJello
LemonJello

SonOfSpam

Seafood with Squeeze

theeWeeBabySeamus

Goddammit. You always manage to make me feel inferior.
Can’t believe I forgot that one.

SonOfSpam

You’re inferior to no one.

Except Richard Marx.

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sorry, I gotta. Dr. Demento would never forgive me if I didn’t.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m too lazy to go back and double shot this one I forgot about before, so I’ll leave it here.

theeWeeBabySeamus

SonOfSpam

Ok…but this video (Fred’s mustache!) rules:

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, I think it fits. You got the cooks in the kitchen, but you need The Waitresses to serve. Right?
RIGHT??????

theeWeeBabySeamus

LemonJello
LemonJello

Candy, huh?

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Gotta buy it somewhere:

LemonJello
LemonJello

That’s one option.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Senor Weaselo

It would be rude not to eat (a slice of) her pie…