Wednesday Champions League semifinal roundtable

litre_cola

litre_cola

Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia.
litre_cola

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Hi friends it is the 2nd day of the semifinals and yesterday sure was eventful. I still feel that Liverpool will go through but this Roma team beat Barcelona so never count them out. On to today’s match!

Litre_Cola: I wanted two legs of this and I got it. I hoped for it because I am selfish, I hate Madrid and Bayern Munich has the best shot at knocking them off. Robben, Rodriguez and Lewandoski can compete with anyone and they have the best shot of beating Ronaldo and company. I say that but I have started to appreciate him through my hatred. He may be a douchebag bu that bicycle kick was absolutely superb and he finds ways to win. All. The. God. Damn. Time.

I think this will be absolutely fantastic over 2 legs and hopefully the Germans play as a unit which can overcome Real’s individuality.

Prediction: Bayern 2- 1, only because Ronaldo does something crazy late.

Balls: This is the game that should have been the final. These are clearly the two best teams left in the competition.  If you think about it,  though,  this actually works out better for us as we get TWO games instead of just one.

It’s actually a much fairer way of determining the champion.  Over two legs,  quality tends to win out over random chance. I remember a few years ago when Barcelona and Real Madrid played a bunch of clásicos one year because of the different cups and competitions they were in. Barcelona won all the home and away ties while Real won the one-off matches.

The big concern is that these two tire each other out and either Roma or Liverpool sneak a goal against the run of play in the Final to take the Cup.

Predicción: A bananacakes high scoring game that sets up a thrilling Vuelta.  Let’s call it a 3-3 tie.

 

Hippo: I agree that these are the two best sides left, and as Lesser Footy appreciators – we deserve to see two legs of this.  Oh, how I longed instead for Bayern to draw the Shite, and hang them up like a side of beef at the Allianz Arena.  Bleeding them the fuck dray, so dry the cunts didn’t even bother to throw rocks at the team bus for the return leg.  Alas, fate is a cruel mistress.

Predicción: Nazi-like efficiency.  This is what you get from Bayern.  There will be an away goal, but in heavy defeat.  3-1 to the (shockingly) good.

Don T: I saw over and over the foul at the 93rd minute that put Real Madriz through against Juventus, and got a red card for Buffon. Yeah yeah, it was a penalty. Dammit. BUT, the real skullduggery came later.

Goddamn, no good dirtbag Sergio Ramos was suspended for the Juve return leg ’cause of yellas. That means he couldn’t be in the locker room, the tunnel, the field, etc. Turns out, he hung out in the tunnel and got in the pitch after the penalty but before the game was over. That is a suspension–but guess what! The fucker will play.  Again: Madriz gets all the breaks. Fucking assholes.

On a lighter note, James “Don’t call me ‘James’ ” Rodríguez. His folks named him James, but the correct pronunciation is the Spanish one, “Ha Mess” (or, if you’re a Spaniard, “KHamess”, with plenty of spit). The guy got a contract with Real Madriz after his breakout performance in the 2014 World Cup with Colombia, of which this goal against Uruguay is just… Wow:

Well, James went to Real, and partied his way out of the team. Them’s the rumors, anyway; knowing Colombians… No comment.

Anyway, James was loaned to Bayern last summer, and now the guy’s in top form. His coach, Jupp Heynckes, explained how he got the most out of James this season: “He was a little depressed […] I took care of him, I had lots of talks with him, and step by step he found confidence. He is more relaxed within the team.” A nurturing and constructive attitude from a 72 year-old coach towards a brilliant and frustrated youngster: oh the coddling of millennials knows no bounds! Tom Coughlin must be spinning on his office’s fold out sarcophagus.

Heynckes is pure class and Bayern is fucking STACKT. Enough of Real gadammit!

Predicción: Real Madrid 1 – 2 Bayern, six yellow cards (four fer Madriz).

 

BONUS CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL 2ND LEG MUSINGS

Toronto FC 1-2 Chivas Guadalajara 1st Leg

The Reds have a large mountain to climb conceding 2 goals in wintry Toronto last matchday. Injuries have hurt TFC recently and their form has dipped both domestically and in this last leg. It is a shame, it would be a hell of a story if TFC brought a large title to the 5th biggest city in North America before the Blue Jays, Leafs, Raptors. Nobody there cares about the Argos so I don’t either. Giovinco is perfect for Toronto, and he has stated that he has no plans to return to Juventus as he adores the city. Micheal Bradley and Altidore are still in what would be considered their prime in the MLS and TFC is solid at the back.

From what I have read the players at Chivas are a little miffed about not being paid their bonuses for winning the league last year. Not being paid as promised could lead to a dip in performance but they have said that they are playing for themselves and for their supporters. I hope they trip up, but it is doubtful.

Balls: Last week’s Ida game was strange. I mean Chivas scored like RIGHT AWAY. (It was actually the 2nd minute.) I think this threw the Toronto players off. They equalized soon enough,  but it still seemed like they were chasing the game and the opponent instead of being in control,  as I expected them to play, at home.

This game is in Guadalajara and if you think this doesn’t mean anything to the players,  the coaches,  the front office,  the fans,  and by extension all of Mexico,  you’re kidding yourself.

Mexican pride is on the line.  Having an American MLS team win a trophy (and the World Club Cup berth that goes with it) on home soil would be an absolute embarrassment.

With one game left in the Mexican Clausura tournament,  Chivas is sitting in 17th place. Out of 18 teams. Their season has been a disaster. Except for this tournament. Winning this tournament will save jobs,  careers,  and face.

I’m hoping Toronto puts up a fight,  but I think Chivas will fight like hell to win this.  Another point in Chivas’ favor is the experience their players have in high pressure games.  No offense,  but Altidore and Bradley shrink in big games.

Predicción: A 2-1 win by the home team and a bunch of very drunk and happy Tapatíos tomorrow morning.

litre_cola
litre_cola
A pugs best friend. Wine drinker. Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia. One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse
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scotchnaut

/watching “Perfect in ’76”, the story of Indiana’s perfect season

It’s narrated by Nadia Comaneci’s rolling eyeballs

scotchnaut

How is Pardon The Interruption still festering on the TV?

King Hippo

fuck it, at least they’s Archer to look forward to. This week can go fuck itself.

scotchnaut

Huh. You don’t feel a draft?

scotchnaut

“The First Leg, sponsored by The Type 2 Diabetes Foundation.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

/Ron Santo joke

King Hippo

Just a lousy effort, injuries or no.

scotchnaut

Introduce the hip check into soccer and it would be even more popular in Canada.

ballsofsteelandfury

I once hipchecked a guy on the soccer field in high school. He flew five yards out of bounds and I got a yellow card. Totally worth it.

King Hippo

Lewandoski might as well be shaving points.

scotchnaut

The team in all black: was their pre-game haiku particularly intimidating?

scotchnaut

North American sports crowds seem so much more passive than their Euro brethren. About all a crowd can agree on to shout in unison is “AIRBALL!” or “BULLSHIT!”.

King Hippo

Ronaldo is SUCH A GIANT PENIS.

King Hippo

there is no Lesser Footy God

scotchnaut

“Not only is there no God, try getting a plumber on a Sunday!”

/old Woody Allen joke

scotchnaut

Every Wednesday and every Friday I call/text the same people at the same time to get their special orders that they need to successfully run their businesses. (and in turn, mine) Are they ready? Never.

/thinking of chucking all this away and getting into the cat-herding business

scotchnaut

Afternoon thread! Woo! Anything going on?

/hasn’t bothered to scroll down yet

King Hippo

I need to prepare for 5:30 conference call.

/am not doing so

Horatio Cornblower

I prepare for 5:30 conference calls by leaving at 5.

Call me during regular hours or get fucked.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

#timezones

nomonkeyfun

Next time schedule it for 30 minutes after traditional local starting time. Make those dumbass westerners get to work early. 5:30 conference call cuts into drinky time. 8:30 just means you start the hang over sooner.

King Hippo

I work at home a lot (including today), so tis hard for me to get preachy on that topic. 😀

scotchnaut

Horatio: “Where the hell are all my clients?”

Assistant: “Well, duh. Getting fucked.”

Horatio: “I may not have thought this thing all the way through.”

scotchnaut

My motto for conference calls is, “Just Wing It!”. It’s worked out fairly well for the last few years.

/at one time I over-prepared for them but realized that the time and energy was wasted

King Hippo

Bayern leaving a lot of goals on the pitch.

King Hippo

and punsihed for it

King Hippo

missed sitter in the dying embers of the half. JAYSUS

King Hippo

HUZZAH!

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

That logo looks like a giant, evil worm mouth that should be animated into trying to eat the soccer ball at center pitch.

King Hippo

maybe I should just cover my main bet whilst the Draw is still at +275?

King Hippo

FUCK ME, lose Robben when I gots 2 bills on this (and wanted MOAR on the first half).

/maybe the odds will go up?

nomonkeyfun

I fucking hated Robben too.

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King Hippo

wait, “HIM-ez” was hard enough, now he wants sommet else??

King Hippo

oh good, they are chanting “BAY-ern” not “HEEEE-il”

King Hippo

Let’s go GERMANY!!!

/Christ, that sounds wrong.

SonOfSpam

(flinches)

– Poland

King Hippo

they must have REALLY offered Lewandoski a fuckton of cash. Else he hates himself, deep down.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Maybe his grandparents were members of the Blue Police and he is following his family’s tradions. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blue_Police

LemonJello
LemonJello

Dangit! Futbol on every channel in the clubhouse!
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SonOfSpam

Season premiere of Archer tonite!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

I’ve got a post about that this afternoon…

SonOfSpam

STOP – MY PENIS CAN ONLY GET SO ERECT!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Pretty sure at least one is split screen with German scheisse porn