Wednesday Champions League semifinal roundtable

Hi friends it is the 2nd day of the semifinals and yesterday sure was eventful. I still feel that Liverpool will go through but this Roma team beat Barcelona so never count them out. On to today’s match!

Litre_Cola: I wanted two legs of this and I got it. I hoped for it because I am selfish, I hate Madrid and Bayern Munich has the best shot at knocking them off. Robben, Rodriguez and Lewandoski can compete with anyone and they have the best shot of beating Ronaldo and company. I say that but I have started to appreciate him through my hatred. He may be a douchebag bu that bicycle kick was absolutely superb and he finds ways to win. All. The. God. Damn. Time.

I think this will be absolutely fantastic over 2 legs and hopefully the Germans play as a unit which can overcome Real’s individuality.

Prediction: Bayern 2- 1, only because Ronaldo does something crazy late.

Balls: This is the game that should have been the final. These are clearly the two best teams left in the competition.  If you think about it,  though,  this actually works out better for us as we get TWO games instead of just one.

It’s actually a much fairer way of determining the champion.  Over two legs,  quality tends to win out over random chance. I remember a few years ago when Barcelona and Real Madrid played a bunch of clásicos one year because of the different cups and competitions they were in. Barcelona won all the home and away ties while Real won the one-off matches.

The big concern is that these two tire each other out and either Roma or Liverpool sneak a goal against the run of play in the Final to take the Cup.

Predicción: A bananacakes high scoring game that sets up a thrilling Vuelta.  Let’s call it a 3-3 tie.

Hippo: I agree that these are the two best sides left, and as Lesser Footy appreciators – we deserve to see two legs of this.  Oh, how I longed instead for Bayern to draw the Shite, and hang them up like a side of beef at the Allianz Arena.  Bleeding them the fuck dray, so dry the cunts didn’t even bother to throw rocks at the team bus for the return leg.  Alas, fate is a cruel mistress.

Predicción: Nazi-like efficiency.  This is what you get from Bayern.  There will be an away goal, but in heavy defeat.  3-1 to the (shockingly) good.

Don T: I saw over and over the foul at the 93rd minute that put Real Madriz through against Juventus, and got a red card for Buffon. Yeah yeah, it was a penalty. Dammit. BUT, the real skullduggery came later.

Goddamn, no good dirtbag Sergio Ramos was suspended for the Juve return leg ’cause of yellas. That means he couldn’t be in the locker room, the tunnel, the field, etc. Turns out, he hung out in the tunnel and got in the pitch after the penalty but before the game was over. That is a suspension–but guess what! The fucker will play.  Again: Madriz gets all the breaks. Fucking assholes.

On a lighter note, James “Don’t call me ‘James’ ” Rodríguez. His folks named him James, but the correct pronunciation is the Spanish one, “Ha Mess” (or, if you’re a Spaniard, “KHamess”, with plenty of spit). The guy got a contract with Real Madriz after his breakout performance in the 2014 World Cup with Colombia, of which this goal against Uruguay is just… Wow:

Well, James went to Real, and partied his way out of the team. Them’s the rumors, anyway; knowing Colombians… No comment.

Anyway, James was loaned to Bayern last summer, and now the guy’s in top form. His coach, Jupp Heynckes, explained how he got the most out of James this season: “He was a little depressed […] I took care of him, I had lots of talks with him, and step by step he found confidence. He is more relaxed within the team.” A nurturing and constructive attitude from a 72 year-old coach towards a brilliant and frustrated youngster: oh the coddling of millennials knows no bounds! Tom Coughlin must be spinning on his office’s fold out sarcophagus.

Heynckes is pure class and Bayern is fucking STACKT. Enough of Real gadammit!

Predicción: Real Madrid 1 – 2 Bayern, six yellow cards (four fer Madriz).

BONUS CONCACAF CHAMPIONS LEAGUE FINAL 2ND LEG MUSINGS

Toronto FC 1-2 Chivas Guadalajara 1st Leg

The Reds have a large mountain to climb conceding 2 goals in wintry Toronto last matchday. Injuries have hurt TFC recently and their form has dipped both domestically and in this last leg. It is a shame, it would be a hell of a story if TFC brought a large title to the 5th biggest city in North America before the Blue Jays, Leafs, Raptors. Nobody there cares about the Argos so I don’t either. Giovinco is perfect for Toronto, and he has stated that he has no plans to return to Juventus as he adores the city. Micheal Bradley and Altidore are still in what would be considered their prime in the MLS and TFC is solid at the back.

From what I have read the players at Chivas are a little miffed about not being paid their bonuses for winning the league last year. Not being paid as promised could lead to a dip in performance but they have said that they are playing for themselves and for their supporters. I hope they trip up, but it is doubtful.

Balls: Last week’s Ida game was strange. I mean Chivas scored like RIGHT AWAY. (It was actually the 2nd minute.) I think this threw the Toronto players off. They equalized soon enough,  but it still seemed like they were chasing the game and the opponent instead of being in control,  as I expected them to play, at home.

This game is in Guadalajara and if you think this doesn’t mean anything to the players,  the coaches,  the front office,  the fans,  and by extension all of Mexico,  you’re kidding yourself.

Mexican pride is on the line.  Having an American MLS team win a trophy (and the World Club Cup berth that goes with it) on home soil would be an absolute embarrassment.

With one game left in the Mexican Clausura tournament,  Chivas is sitting in 17th place. Out of 18 teams. Their season has been a disaster. Except for this tournament. Winning this tournament will save jobs,  careers,  and face.

I’m hoping Toronto puts up a fight,  but I think Chivas will fight like hell to win this.  Another point in Chivas’ favor is the experience their players have in high pressure games.  No offense,  but Altidore and Bradley shrink in big games.

Predicción: A 2-1 win by the home team and a bunch of very drunk and happy Tapatíos tomorrow morning.