Your Eastern Conference Semi-Final Preview & Saturday Evening Open Thread

YEE-HAW! The second round started Thursday night, but with the NFL Draft getting in the way, there seemed no place for discussion. So, while the Games 2 are underway, we shall discuss as if nothing has happened & the Capitals are really not really laying another trap for their opponent.

Pittsburgh vs. Washington

This right here should be the Conference finals. The two marquee teams left on this side of the draw (RIP Maple Leafs & Toronto media bias), it has pretty much everything you want from a playoff series:

  • defending champions
  • last hurrahs of fading stars
  • goalies with shaky nerves
  • two teams that hate each other
  • one team with a legacy of success against the other.

I’m too lazy to go look, but I recall Deadspin making the point that each Penguins Cup this century was preceded by them beating the Capitals to move on. All signs point to another repeat of the script.

And yet.

Ha ha – just kidding. Anyone who thinks the Capitals might have learned their lesson by coming back against Columbus is forgetting that it was Columbus. John Tortorella can’t coach his way out of an equipment bag in the playoffs anymore, and is the one most responsible for wasting the best years of Henrik Lundqvist’s career. Barry Trotz might be the Caps coach, but in his mind he’s still the Predators coach, and like those teams, they don’t have a hope of getting past the second round with Barry Trotz in charge.

Prediction: Penguins in six.


Boston vs. Tampa Bay

Every Canadian’s eternal gratitude goes out to the Bruins for absolutely wrecking the Leafs psyche in Game 7, and thus shutting down the Toronto Media Complex that kept inundating viewers outside the 406 with highlights & analysis while completely ignoring Canada’s other team – the one that made the second round.

Now, this series is going to hinge on whether Tuuka Rask can get it back together. The Lightning are just that, and Steven Stamkos is playing with a chip on his shoulder about as big as the blame he carries around for his injury costing the Bolts last year’s playoffs.

Because the League has asked Brad Marchand to stop treating other teams like free samples at Baskin Robbins, he will have to focus on scoring, which he doesn’t do quite as well if he’s not 100% being a pest.

Full disclosure: I am a lifelong Bruin’s fan (blame it on parents who were Leafs & Habs fans), but I can’t see them being able to overcome the tools Tampa has at their disposal. They’ll get one, but will have to tee off knowing they at least ruined Toronto’s summer.

Prediction: Tampa in five.


Beerguyrob’s brief, spoiler-free review of “Infinity War”:

It’s FUCKING AWESOME! Go see it in the theatre. There’s always a few nits to pick, but I’m not nerding that far down. It’s a visual delight and doesn’t slow down the whole time.


Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Sharks at Vegas – 8:00PM | NBC / CBC
  • NBA:
    • Bucks at Celtics – Game 7 – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
    • Pelicans at Warriors – Game 1 – 10:30PM | TNT / Sportsnet1
  • MLB:
    • Yankees at Angels – 9:00PM | FS1
  • AFL:
    • Fremantle vs. West Coast – 2:30AM | TSN2
  • MMA:
    • Fedor vs. Mir – 9:00PM | Paramount (FKA Spike)
  • Johnsonville Cornhole Championships:
    • ACL Kick-Off Battle – 10:00PM | ESPN2
0 0 votes
Article Rating
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Subscribe
Notify of
281 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Brick Meathook

comment image

Mr. Ayo

Pfft. I could do that.

/And Shazierize myself

yeah right

I said you shouldn’t have left me in charge.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2KQjy02eqOk

yeah right

Welcome back folks to KDFO where it’s all 80’s all the time.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZCOSPtyZAPA

yeah right
yeah right
theeWeeBabySeamus
yeah right

Oh shit.

Somebody left me in charge.

80’s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qpjHW4mr6qo

yeah right

More 80’s!

Great fucking drums.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4B2a6l6wM2k

Senor Weaselo

Did they reach these keeds?

yeah right
WCS

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Did someone say 80s?
Oh right…I did.
(good bass here tho)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBupia9oidU

yeah right

Hey guys! Where’s the men’s room?

Mr. Ayo

Any available corner

Spanky Datass

comment image

Unsurprised

Fuck this.

comment image

Brocky

….. okay, if you insist.

you got a name and location for me to start? and what am I getting out of this?

Spanky Datass

Gonorrhea?

Mr. Ayo

Yep, definitely wood

Brocky

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Jane Wiedlin is cute as shit. Yes, come at me.
Plus, Belinda Carlisle before the coke took hold.
I miss the 80s.
*sigh*
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DUqMqBl9Qrs

Unsurprised

The fucking balls on this dipshit. It’s hard to imagine a more perfect embodiment of this failure than Cillizza and yet … Fuck it.

“He has helped you sell your papers and your books and your TV. You helped create this monster and now you are profiting from him.” — Michelle Wolf to the media

— Chris Cillizza (@CillizzaCNN) April 29, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Unsurprised

comment image

Brocky

I can’t wait for season 2

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwVOmTImfLA

Brick Meathook

comment image

Unsurprised

What’s Aussie for Beast Mode? It reminds me of how until I got to high school whenever we played tackle football at recess another kid and I rushing would basically be this. In fact, it was more common for me to have to take a knee before the ball got stripped because there were instances where the entire other team couldn’t actually bring us down if we were on the same team.

We weren’t usually on the same team.

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Take a nap, white boy”….?

Mr. Ayo

Jail break dinghy?

Brocky

M’Baku maybe?

comment image

Unsurprised

This. This was me playing tackle football. I could’ve been Brian Urlacher 2-3 years before that motherfucker if I kept playing (Although there’s no way in Hell I’d have stayed in Albuquerque and played for UNM).

comment image

Mr. Ayo

And I missed it. Great.

Brocky

its like you can hear her remembering that she’s married

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

That lip bite is…well…yeah.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Ok, gonna finally watch the new Archer. Try not to burn the place down while I’m gone.

Brocky

no promises

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve got the gasoline. Ayo, you brought the matches, yes?

Mr. Ayo

Those are the backup, but of course.

Spanky Datass

Can I please take a dump in the DFO Clubhose latrine without threats of arson? I promise I’ll flush and spray air freshener. /spray can explodes /burns down clubhouse … again.