Your “Unless I Found Time, I Hastily Threw This Together” Sunday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

Sorry, my brain was cooked – and not in the good way. I just slapped this together with all the care of Peter King eating a peanut butter sandwich.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Vegas at San Jose – 7:30PM | NBCSN / CBC
  • NBA:
    • Rockets at Jazz – 8:00PM | TNT / TSN
  • MLB:
    • Cubs at Cardinals – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN3

ENJOY YOUR COMMENTING!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

How the hell is this Cubs-Cards game still going?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

#BFiB

Lol Cubbies

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Apparently Will Ferrell would have been a better option to close out that one.

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

#Hellworld

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Senor Weaselo

I’m pretty sure “electric guitar’s strings being trimmed with a weed-whacker” is how they recorded “Misirlou.”

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Anyone here a fan of the movie Big Wednesday?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’ve seen it, but I don’t remember much of it, except surfing and getting drafted and John Milius the military worshipper who was 4F. I like his movies but that’s kind of embarrassing.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Well judging by the framed movie poster, my Airbnb host is a very big fan

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am. I liked it a lot.

Brocky

Was there a chicago dfo meet up or was that a hallucination I had one time?

I fought a giant fish then watched a vhs copy of the other guys

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Did you win?

Brocky

it was a draw, we were both so exhausted the fish just kinda collapsed into my arms, we just sorta held each other for a while.

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Senor Weaselo

There ain’t gonna be no rematch.

Fronkenshteen

Has there ever been an east coast DFO get together?

Senor Weaselo

Well there was that time nomonkeyfun met up with me at the Hot Sauce Expo!

Horatio Cornblower

One time I met LCSS in CT when he came east on business.

Brocky

so, if washington wins tomorrow, it’ll be the most likable conference finals since 2015.

yeah right

Utah coach Quin Synder is perturbed.

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BrettFavresColonoscopy

tWBS, anything on the sked for your first night this week? Or do you get in too late? I only ask since I fly back east Thursday.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think he gets in midday Wednesday.

Brocky

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ballsofsteelandfury

Homer drool gif

BrettFavresColonoscopy

LAX is a cesspool

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I have $139 in cash, an iPhone, a Chinese delivery menu, and a bunch of weed. Let’s see what happens next.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Beef Lo Mein and a YUUUUGE bag of blow?

blaxabbath

Rolling papers?

King Hippo

#BFIB have drawn level WOO!!!

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Boooooo

King Hippo

FOAR Yadi’s ‘sploded ball

yeah right

Dude ouch.

yeah right

I would totally fuck around with British Empire World.
Let’s put down the revolt in In-Jah and have a spot of tea, what?

yeah right

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I would starve FOUR million Bengalis to death. Churchill was a pussy.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, I gotta go watch me some Dolores fucking shit up.
Have a nice night you fucking degenerates.

King Hippo

Cliff’s Notes bottom of the 4th – Joe Maddon is really stupid, gets bailed out because Mike Matheny is even stupider.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

So the Costco near us is now offering a cheeseburger at the external food court. Normally I’d be skeptical, but it’s a $5.00 burger. So I’m thinking it might be quite good. Has anyone had one yet?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

For $5 you can buy 100lbs of ground beef inside then go home and experiment to find your perfect burger.

Has yeah right taught you nothing?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I have reached the limit of what hot beef injections at home can teach me.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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King Hippo

Costco’s food is awesome, dude.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Is that snot in Fleury’s ‘stache? Nice.

Senor Weaselo

Ni!

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Shrubbery!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Truly I am living the life. I just ate a t-bone steak and had a manhattan, and now I am drinking a Guinness and a fruit fly landed in it so I picked it out and smeared it against the front of the white undershirt I am wearing.

Note that the sleeves have been cut off of this undershirt.

ballsofsteelandfury

You on the plane to Tokyo?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not till Tuesday.

ballsofsteelandfury

The sleeveless white undershirt led me to that conclusion…

Senor Weaselo

King Hippo

Ladies (??) and gentlemen, our Raiders’ fan!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Yeah, but tell ’em about the salad.” – Andy Reid

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Is there anything more fun than a garbage time empty netter?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

KNIGHTS!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Is it me, or have the Ducks hit the cross bar about a bazillion times?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Brick Meathook et al. If you’re still around, scroll down.

Wakezilla

Making an expansion team good makes sense as it gets the fan base excited for The present and future. Making them conference finals good? That’s some bullshit right there.

Senor Weaselo

Pendulum went too far in the other direction. It doesn’t hurt that the Pens decided to leave Fleury unprotected, either.

Gratliff

FFS, stealth Seven Nation Army in this week’s Westworld

King Hippo

on a player piano, I bet it’s pretty hilarious. NO SPOILERS to those saving our dessert until after sportsball

Gratliff

Wasn’t a player piano, so it took me longer to catch it

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ironically, I’ve been trying to catch up all day. When I tried to start today, I realized that stupid me never watched last year’s finale because of all the dumbass life shit I dumped on myself right around then.

smgdh

But still…extra Dolores today wasn’t a bad thing. She’s yummy.

King Hippo

Too much is NEVAR enough. That gun show she puts on. GAWD DAMN!!!

Gratliff

Hope HBO’s Fahrenheit 451 is as good as I want it to be

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Ron Howard strolls by…

King Hippo

which segues perfectly into my thoughts/fears re Arrested Development v5

Brocky

So, I got told today it’s really not okay to root for Tampa bay against the bruins.

Like, I get kinda get some reluctance to root for some teams conditionally, but the only people who hate Tampa are people with a rational fear of mrsa and an irrational fear of 26 game losing streaks

LemonJello
LemonJello

Whoever told you that it’s not okay to root against Bahstaan is wrong and should feel bad about their life choices.

Senor Weaselo

So, I got told today it’s really not okay to root for Tampa bay against the bruins.

Lessee, on the Weaselo hand:
I. Ice Giants have both of their 1sts (due to Nash and McDonagh/Miller trades)
B. If the Ice Bucs win the Cup this year or next the 2nd in 2019 they also traded the Ice Giants becomes a 1st
3. I know the guy who plays fiddle for the Ice Bucs’ Cotton-Eyed Joe. Have you ever heard TWO violins jamming on “Friends in Low Places”? Because we did it!
iv. They don’t have Brad Marchand licking and slew-footing everyone.
Fif. Fuck Boston in perpetuity.

I think I chose the lesser of the two evils. And hey, one for each finger!

litre_cola

So best Jean Claude Van Damme movie is Bloodsport no?

I break you, like I break your friend. That was a masterpiece.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Agreed.
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Gratliff

I feel like we’ve done this. The answer is The Quest, which was a much better Street Fighter movie than Street Fighter The Movie

litre_cola

We are old and spend a lot of time together. I forget things. I disagree with you about the Quest. #2 for me is Sudden Death.

Gratliff

Powers Boothe was the hero of that movie

King Hippo

I think you guys might be arguing over what was the most artistically pleasant puppy abortion.

Gratliff

Let’s not forget The Quest had schlocky Roger Moore, Dexter’s dad, and Jerry from Rescue Me

King Hippo

Dexter’s dad is a highly underrated gem of an actor

Gratliff

One of those motherfuckers you end up learning has been in everything and you never noticed
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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yeah, Bloodsport.

Col. Duke LaCross

Bloodsport is the easy #1, but if there’s a 1A, it’s Kickboxer, just for the drunken dancing scene alone.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

How the fuck can NHL do a review this fast, but the NFL takes 30 minutes and still can’t figure out what the fuck a catch is?

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

The NHL is just making shit up and the Shield is too stupid to do the same?

litre_cola

Give this man a medal.

LemonJello
LemonJello

In keeping with the highest traditions of DFO:

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

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King Hippo

to try and put the pieces together, denying the universal truth that There Is No Catch…

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oh shit did it go in?!?!

Brocky

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Halftime = steak time!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

This fucking hockey game is insane…

LemonJello
LemonJello

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litre_cola

Best Arnie movie. Come at me.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Commando is up there
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Senor Weaselo

That’s my favorite one!

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

T2 is still my favorite Arnold movie.

litre_cola

I enjoyed Alyssa Milano in it as I was a youth.

Gratliff

Recently rewatched this and Predator. Hard agree.

Senor Weaselo

Nobody else posted it, so “Knights!”

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Is there some sort of Los Angeles DFO meet-up in May? Is there a date? I need to know because I can make parole sometime this month but I’ll need one of you to sign for me, plus if you can give me some walking around money that’d be great too.

litre_cola

All I have to do is send my info and I get your aunt’s inheritance?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There are a few, actually, mostly centered around TWBS’s visit.

ballsofsteelandfury

Are we doing a pub crawl?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Other than Friday the 11th (LCSS and I will be watching the Padres and #BFIB that night), I am open to whatever is best for the rest of everyone.

Say my name three times and I will appear.

[no one says anything for the next two weeks]

DAMMIT!!!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I am sorry I am going to miss so much by going to Japan. It was not deliberate.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, that’s what you said last year. I’m starting get a complex.
😉

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I said your name three times and I’m still waiting for a Lyft at LAX

Senor Weaselo

Well at least one Masshole team lost today so it can’t be all bad.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What are the odds PK finishes making the sandwich before he starts eating it?

LemonJello
LemonJello

After he gets his hand unstuck from the jar of peanut butter?

Senor Weaselo

Oh, bother.

Horatio Cornblower

Define “finishing” and “starting”, because he’s going to lick the knife at some point(s) before cutting the sandwich.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Does he wear his Skyline Chili bib for every meal, or just the important ones?

Horatio Cornblower

-witty comment goes here-