AFL Beat – 2018 Round 9

This week,

Players grab each other and get wet in China
One brave wet man reaches for gold
And Jamie MacMillan of the Roos either plays superhero against the Giants or tries to rob a bank.


Round 9

The Round started in Adelaide in what was expected to be a blowout.  What was not expected were the rainy conditions that typically spell out a close low-scoring game.  Well, we got both a low-scoring game AND a blowout.  63-26 to the Crows in a game that really wasn’t that close.  Highlights:

Poor GWS is just free-falling down the ladder.  Injuries have ravaged the team and they are a shell of their former selves.  In Tasmania, the Roos took care of business handily to the tune of 112-69, which was nice, for the Roos.  Here are the highlights:

Next up, the Gold Coast Suns and the Port Adelaide Power traveled to China to play at “Adelaide Arena” at Jiangwan Stadium in Shanghai. This was another “home” game for Gold Coast that wasn’t.  Not even with the fucking stadium name!  The Suns lost to the Power by 40 and their season is going down the toilet fast. Here are the highlights:

I knew it was a bad omen when every single AFL media outlet was talking about the Essendon Bombers and how shitty they had been playing and how under pressure the team and coach were to turn the season around.  I was trying to stay awake to watch this game live, but I ended up falling asleep. Sure enough, when I woke up, I discovered that the Bombers had turned in perhaps their best performance of the season in beating the Cats.  Lesson learned:  Listen to your body, people! Here are the highlights:

For some weird reason, the Sydney Swans had been playing badly at home and losing.  Fremantle, on the other hand, have regained their famous home field advantage at the new Optus Stadium in Perth.  With the game in Sydney, it was interesting to see if Fremantle could pull the upset.  Ron Howard voice:  They didn’t.   Here are the highlights:

In the last match of North American Friday night/Saturday morning, the struggling St. Kilda Saints hosted the Collingwood Magpies. After hanging close for a half, the Saints eventually succumbed to the Pies and, like the Suns, are watching their season go down the toilet.  Here are the highlights:

North American Saturday night brought three more games, the first of which had Carlton “hosting” Melbourne at the MCG.  Hosting is in quotations because both teams call the MCG home. Also because Melbourne destroyed Carlton by 100 points.  I hope Hippo fell asleep watching this:

Next up, the Brisbane Lions were at home looking for their first win of the season.  It didn’t seem likely with Hawthorn as their opponent but you know what? Sometimes cool crazy shit happens! Yes,  the Lions have their first win and there are no winless teams left! Here are the highlights:

The last game of the Round was the best game of the Round and I’ll tell you what,  boys and girls,  these West Coast Eagles are for real! They took care of the reigning premiers Richmond at home by a score of 130-83. Yeah,  I know! Here are the highlights:

Let’s take a look at the ladder, shall we?

1 West Coast Eagles 8 1 0 32 136.7
2 Richmond Tigers 7 2 0 28 133.1
3 Melbourne Demons 6 3 0 24 127.0
4 Adelaide Crows 6 3 0 24 125.4
5 Sydney Swans 6 3 0 24 114.6
6 Port Adelaide Power 6 3 0 24 108.1
7 North Melbourne Kangaroos 5 4 0 20 118.0
8 Geelong Cats 5 4 0 20 115.0
9 Hawthorn Hawks 5 4 0 20 107.2
10 Collingwood Magpies 5 4 0 20 105.6
11 GWS Giants 4 4 1 18 102.6
12 Fremantle Dockers 4 5 0 16 87.5
13 Western Bulldogs 4 5 0 16 79.7
14 Essendon Bombers 3 6 0 12 89.0
15 Gold Coast Suns 3 6 0 12 73.7
16 St. Kilda Saints 1 7 1 6 69.7
17 Brisbane Lions 1 8 0 4 82.4
18 Carlton Blues 1 8 0 4 63.3

The Blues go back to the bottom of the ladder and we have no winless teams left. Meanwhile, West Coast is now all by itself in first.  Who would have thought that in the beginning of the year?

Here is the patented Balls Graph (TM):

Download (PDF, 227KB)


Footy Tipping Contest

Here is where we are after Round 9:

P TIPPER Round Tips Round Margin TOTAL Tips TOTAL Margin
1 Sunrisesunrise 7 12 58 253
2 SonOfSpam 6 23 57 248
3 Spanky Datass 7 33 56 274
4 WhyEaglesWhy 6 40 55 271
5 Joliet Jake Delhomme 6 3 54 267
6 BALLS 7 3 54 298
7 Litre_cola 7 15 53 238
8 BFC 6 14 47 264
9 Dolph Ucker 3 44 47 387
10 nomonkeyfun 7 6 45 235
11 JPF 6 15 41 304
12 blaxabbath 3 37 37 278
13 Sharkbait 3 37 35 321
14 Game Time Decision 7 12 33 338

Speaking of all alone in first, Sunrisesunrise has separated himself a bit from SonOfSpam and leads the competition!  A hearty Well Done to Game Time Decision, who is reeling in the two peeps that forgot to put the tips in.  You know what that means!

Yes, it’s a repeat, but I really like this pic…



AFL Round 9

Here is the schedule for this week (all times Pacific):

Friday, May 25, 2018

2:50 AM (Late Thursday Night) – Collingwood Magpies v Western Bulldogs at Etihad Stadium

The Doggies are up against it going against the in-form Pies. They’ll have to play REALLY well to win.  They won’t.

8:45 PM – Richmond Tigers v St. Kilda Saints at the MCG

This game is going to get ugly quick.  I’m thinking a 100 point margin.

11:35 PM  – Brisbane Lions v Sydney Swans at the Gabba

The poor Lions get Sydney at home, but the Swans play spectacularly away from home.  The Women’s team really WILL get more wins/points by the end of the year…

Saturday,  May 26, 2018

2:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – Geelong Cats v Carlton Blues at Kardinia Park

Another game I won’t be able to see due to the time.  However, this may be a fun one to watch the replay.

2:25 AM (Late Friday Night) – GWS Giants v Essendon Bombers at Spotless Stadium

Just when you think the Bombers have turned their season around, they play a team that is now under pressure and desperate to save their season.  Sound familiar?

8:10 PM – Hawthorn Hawks v West Coast Eagles at Etihad Stadium

This shapes up as the Match of the Round.  It should be a really good close game and should provide a good indication of which team has a realistic shot to go far in finals.

10:20 PM – Melbourne Demons v Adelaide Crows at TIO Tranger Park in Alice Springs

This is technically a home game for the Demons, but Adelaide is physically closer to Alice Springs than Melbourne.

11:40 PM – Fremantle Dockers v North Melbourne Kangaroos at Optus Stadium

Maybe the Perth home field advantage will take care of the surging Roos?  This game will also go a long way in telling us which team is a pretender and which is a contender.

You may have noticed that Port Adelaide and Gold Coast have a bye.  This is because they played in China and the AFL has determined that exposure to Chinese food requires an extra week of rest.  Despite the fact that the Suns brought their own food. I’m only kidding.  Sort of.


That’s all for this week.  The byes start next week, so the hours will be a bit off and the standings will be a bit confusing.  Give it a month, though, and we’ll have a pretty good idea where teams stand.

Except for Carlton, Brisbane, St. Kilda, and Gold Coast.  Those guys aren’t going anywhere.  See you next week!




International Member of the Geelong Cats and recovering Steelers fan. Likes Butts. And Balls. And Boobs. Pretty much anything that starts with the letter B. Preferably together.

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King Hippo

yup, I went to sleep after Q1, immediately following a bewildering sequence which seemed to end in a bananacakes goal cutting the lead to 3. I had a feels it would NAWT get better than that.

Senor Weaselo

It’s the pollution.


Yay Essendon! I never stopped believing in you!


The GWS game was close until a bit into the third and then woof.

Dolph Ucker
Dolph Ucker

Welp… Sitting in the middle of the pack, I decided last week that I would have to take some chances if I was going to improve my position. That strategy backfired nicely.