FIFA Rank:  35th.  That’s…well, that’s a number inn’it?

World Cup Group:  Group E.

Hey, How’d They Get Here?:  They beat Georgia, (Hey, did you know it’s a country and a state? What a world!) by one goal to clinch a spot.  While it sounds like they just squeaked in, they did come out of a group that also had Wales, Ireland, Austria and, (I guess we have to count them), Moldova, so it looks like they just fought their way through a tough group and did their job!  They’re probably gritty, too.

Hey, How Are The Serbians At This World Cup Thing?:  Counting their time as Yugoslavia, (and FIFA seems to, so why not us?), this will be their 12th World Cup appearance.  Their best finish has been 4th, in 1930 and 1962.

What Players Should I Look For?:  Serbia has some solid players, who we’ll get to, but it seems more important to point out that they’re a bit of an overall mess right now.  They fired the coach, Slavoljub Muslin, (by the way, you should just turn off spell-check before writing anything about Serbia), who guided them through qualifying.  They replaced him with Mladin Krstajic , a former national team middle defender, who promptly stripped long-time national team stalwart Branislav Ivanovic of the captaincy, due to “an internal matter“,

(Here we see Ivanovic being ceremonially stripped of his captaincy)

and there is no guarantee that Krstajic  is even going to be the coach by the time the World Cup actually gets rolling.  So we’re not sure who the coach will be and the Captain’s been told to fuck right off.  Seems like a good way to go into the tournament.

As for the rest of the team, notable members include Aleksandar Kolarov, (also the new captain), (AS Roma), Ivanovic, (Zenit St. Petersburg), Nemanja Matic, (Manchester United), and Aleksander Mitrovic, (Newcastle United).

The scuttlebutt on the Serbians is that they’re an older, defense-oriented team, that may have trouble keeping up with the Swiss and/or Costa Rica. They do play Costa Rica first so look for that game to be the ones the Serbs really press for 3 points out of.  I’m also going to assume that, given history, the Serbians will enjoy a home team advantage from the Russian fans.

Any Cool Nicknames?:  The Eagles.  Eh, it’s been done.

How Are The Fans?: 

Not even optimistic enough to give a full thumbs up.

They also have some of the most violent fans around, especially when Partizan and Red Star go at it.  Yes, those stories are about the same teams, but they are also two years apart.  When it comes to hooligans I think the Russians are number one with a lead pipe, but the Serbian contingent is gonna hold their own.

That’s not a compliment.

How Are The Serbs Going To Do?:  Kind of like the last time they dragged the Russians into a largely European affair that the Russians couldn’t really afford, the Serbians are likely to make some early noise before getting sent packing when the big boys get rolling.  They likely won’t go past Group play, but they could put a scare into Costa Rica or the Swiss.

Things That Interest Hippo:  You can get 8-1 odds on Serbia winning the group, which seems remarkably low considering that fucking Brazil is in the same group.

Editor’s Note: We have a World Cup Pool!! Please click the link below to sign up:

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The pool password is “Balls”

As always,  there will be a fabulous prize given to the winner.  Join today!!