NFL News:

• Julian Edelman is apologizing for his failed test, but no one is certain what he tested positive for.
  • The League is having the sample retested, as the positive came as a result of a substance that wasn’t immediately recognizable, and there are scientists analyzing it.
  • Meanwhile, he can still practice with the team, but – pending appeal – won’t be able to play until Week 5.
  • Thing I didn’t know:
    • offseason use of stimulants falls under the substances of abuse policy, rather than the PED policy.

• Earl Thomas is not going to attend Seattle’s minicamp.
  • He wants a contract extension first.

• Stealing from Crimeneat!
  • CJ2K was arrested in Tampa for punching a valet outside a club in Tampa & is facing battery charges.
    • The argument was over keys; the effect will likely keep him from getting signed for 2018 until it’s resolved.

Tonight might be light content-wise from us here at DFO, and just baseball-wise from the networks, but we’ve got a big week planned. Aside from our usual series of continuing serials,

• WCS will anchor our US Open coverage with open threads starting Thursday & running through the weekend.
  • Yes? Through the weekend, so Beerguy can get time-off from the Content Mines?
• A rotating coterie of experts will host our World Cup Open Threads.
  • Don’t forget that we have a World Cup pool, with an alleged prize for the winner.
    • Join the fun here. The password is “balls”.

So there’s fun galore at your favourite football & dick joke site this week, despite the fact that there’s almost nothing on.

DFO – delivering cromulence & embiggening the masses since…2015?

Tonight’s sports:

• Beisbol:
  • MLB:
    • Jays at Rays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Cubs at Brewers – 8:00PM | MLBN
  • NCAA Tournament:
    • Game 3: South Carolina at Arkansas – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Game 3: Auburn at Florida – 8:30PM | ESPN
• WWE:
  • Monday Night Raw – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360
    • the RAW “go-home” show before “Money In The Bank” this Sunday from Chicago.
• Random shit stolen from the Japanese:
  • American Ninja Warrior – 8:00PM | NBC (East & West)
    • All-Stars Special: The fastest, strongest and most impressive athletes from the show compete head-to-head on the National Finals course.
• Food Porn:
  • Best Baker in America – 9:00PM | Food Network
    • Old-School Classics – The four remaining bakers have to make Mont Blanc cakes during the skills challenge, which are tarts topped with a tower of chestnut paste. Then, the bakers have to make a Charlotte Royale cake, including peanut butter as the featured flavor.

Oh, I apologize. There isn’t just shit on tonight, IT’S MANUFACTURED SHIT!