NFL News:
Not quite on bent knee, but the Chargers have reached out to Antonio Gates about a possible return.
- The ACL tear to Hunter Henry is forcing the Chargers to reconsider the decision to cut Gates.
- If Mark Davis were half the man his father was, he’d sign Gates just to fuck with the Spanos clan.
- The ACL tear to Hunter Henry is forcing the Chargers to reconsider the decision to cut Gates.
- Jarvis Landry is…glad? to be in Cleveland, because he didn’t have a good rapport with Ryan Tannehill.
- He took a veiled shot at Tanny when Landry made headlines last week by telling Cleveland.com that his quarterback situation with the Browns (Tyrod Taylor, Baker Mayfield and Drew Stanton) is “a lot better than what I had in Miami.”
- Kirk Cousins keeps throwing picks in practice.
- He says he is learning through trial and error what he can’t do.
- “Some of the beauty of (spring drills) is that you can test and experiment. . . . You’ve just got to learn from them.”
- Just what you want to hear from a $90 million guaranteed QB in his first season.
- I know one member of the Vikings staff who won’t cotton to such glibness.
- “Some of the beauty of (spring drills) is that you can test and experiment. . . . You’ve just got to learn from them.”
- He says he is learning through trial and error what he can’t do.
Finally, because Crimebeat! never sleeps, Bengals rookie QB Logan Woodside was stopped across the river in Bellevue, KY for a DUI on June 9th.
- Not a good move when you were the 349th pick in the draft.
- He blew a .112, which is a bad look at 3:45AM.
- Or, a good time at 3:45 PM if you’re Rob Ryan.
- Woodside was also given a ticket for driving more than 10 mph over the speed limit.
Well, the CFL season starts tonight, and the Deuce has you covered.
The whole opening weekend of LIVE! CFL action will be on ESPN2, starting tonight at 8:30PM. You can find their CFL broadcast schedule here.
There’s gambling available.
Don’t forget to follow The Maestro‘s excellent CFL recaps & previews, and remember that there’s a pool to join.
If you want to see Johnny Fucking Football actually get into a game this year, the Canadian Football League is your place for that!
Tonight’s sports:
- CFL:
- Eskimos at Blue Bombers – 8:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN
- MLB:
- Rays at Yankees – 7:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet
- Red Sox at Mariners – 10:00PM | Sportsnet360
- AHL:
- 2018 Calder Cup Finals: Stars vs. Marlies – Game 7 – 7:00PM | TSN2 / NHLN / ahllive.com
Goddamn, with the World Cup & US Open on, IT FEELS LIKE A REAL SPORTS DAY!
Just checked the AFL score from earlier tonight and….
THIS DFO TIPPING POOL I CALL IT A MIDDLE SCHOOL DANCE BECAUSE MOST PEOPLE THERE DON’T SEEM TO CARE ABOUT PUTTING THE TIP IN
After creating a self-indulged documentary about himself, Antoine Griezmann declared at the end of the documentary that he would be staying with Atletico Madrid. What a dorkus malorkus
He didn’t take his talents to South Beach?
Surprisingly, no. It’s like the decision, but where Lebron stayed.
Crimebeat gold!
http://www.espn.com/nfl/story/_/id/23795898/kellen-winslow-ii-arrested-suspicion-sex-crimes
Lets hope he follows in the footsteps of his former teammate, Aaron Hernandez
Why is David Duval talking through the Denver Airport train?
The worst thing about this timeline is that there are millions of people paying attention to politics for the first time out of fear of Trump and they’re being exposed to nothing but militarism, imperialism, revisionism and chauvinism by Democratic media outlets.
There’s people actually pissed that there might be peace in Korea, for Christ sakes!
Democratic media outlets?
MSNBC
This CFL game will end sometime in September.
True Story Time!!!
(The whole hotel room locks thing is what reminded me of this, btw)
When I was in California recently, one night in the middle of the night, a night I was having some insomnia (which is not unusual for me) I decided to go for a walk on the beach. So I downed a few shots and took some weed with me to consume while walking (totally legal there…yay!!!). When I returned to my room an hour or so later (3 or 4am, give or take), I was extremely high and at least a little bit drunk. This is important to the story, btw.
So, I approach my room, insert my keycard, open the door and walk inside.
I’ve been gone about an hour, but somehow, while I was gone, a whole family of people have moved into my room. There’s an ugly fat chick in my bed. There’s an ugly fat guy asleep in the couch. And there’s three ugly fat kids on rollaway beds in the middle of the living room area.
“What the fuck????” I think to myself. I might have even said it out loud. I can’t remember, I was high.
So I stand there for what seemed like an eternity trying to figure this out, but in reality was probably only a few seconds, and then it dawns on me.
I didn’t go up enough flights of stairs. I’m one floor below where my room is. This isn’t my room. It’s in the same place as mine, just on a different floor. It looks the exact same as mine. Well, aside from the ugly fat family inside. But this isn’t my room. I’ve just basically, but unwittingly, performed a home invasion.
Fortunately, none of the ugly fat people woke up and I backed out slowly and closed the door. Then quickly did recon on the hallway to make sure there were no cameras. There weren’t.
The next day, I asked the dudes who work there if they knew that the keycards on their system open rooms other than the ones they’re keyed for. I never did get an answer, btw, but it was pretty obvious that they knew. So I think I’ll be staying elsewhere next time. Which is a shame because otherwise I really like that place.
What hotel was it?
Yeah, they deserved to be called out. And for some of us to target on future trips.
Su Casa at Venice Beach.
431 Ocean Front Walk
And that, friends, is why you have to deadbolt
I guess I don’t really have to prop the door open when I’m jerkin’ it to Murder She Wrote any more.
This is why I always use the lock on the inside of the door. #Deadboltlyfe
Nick Foles turns you on? Whatever floats your boat.
Nothing but respect for those who go out and get the worst possible tattoos for just these sorts of occasions
He beat Tom Brady and Co. so maybe not sexually, but yeah.
She lost at scrabble AGAIN!
I tried to tell her to use the “Q” and make a “queef”.
She misunderstood, I think.
Send $19.99 for my “Key To Success” program! Do it today!
/Invites Brick over for a beer
//Changes locks afterwards
/Invites Brick to help me move
//Yeah, it is a pretty nice house
///Hey I forgot my key, could you um, let me in? Thanks
////Because it’s cooler, is why we’re moving at 3 AM on Christmas day
I don’t ask questions. Don’t ask me any either. This shit ain’t gonna move itself.
Amateurs
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2TUYqEapW0
So THAT’S what Brick Meathook looks like.
😉
This is me:
Wow, that beard grew fast.
So did his prostate.
Happy Flag Day, ppl!!!!!
But, the bible says no kneeling
Funny, she doesn’t look like a Michael
QUIZ TIME: One of these cameramen was fired halfway through production. Can you guess which one? You have 60 seconds.
Monroe!
The smaller font always get the bad end.
Both
Fire Conrad Hall? Can’t be done. He won a posthumous Oscar: the man is still getting work.
I’m Askins you a questions!
More Monroe B. Sackins
Fook Yah!
Rain delay!?! Finish your Labatts!
Attentioun attentioun!! There is a Canadian company called THE BRICK. I repeat, THE BRICK!
Furniture. Not interesting maybe pilots.
Former NHL player, Mike Comrie, his dad owned the Brick
THOSE DICKHEADS
toshité.
So…… Winnipeg not that good, huh?
Starting qb hurt in preseason. Good thing there are only 9 teams!!!
This CFL Commissioner doesn’t seem like a damned national disgrace. Accurate?
He actually is a beauty. He listens to fans, players, and owners. Changes rules that everyone deems stupid. Apart from the rouge THATS PART OF OUR HISTORY!
If a CFL player was named Roosevelt Cheeks would his nickname be Rouge?
Watching Donald Trump on the international stage, now I know how the Whig Party felt watching Millard Fillmore compare to the Duke of Wellington!
…
Gah! Shoo! Shoo Dennis Miller, I thought I told you to get lost and to never come back!
/quietly closes 14 wikipedia tabs about 19th century world figures
What’s the conversion rate for CFL points to NFL points?
Currently *checks* 1 CAN=0.77 USA.
Forgot about the pool. Doesn’t matter would have taken the Bombers anyway and they aren’t going to win.
“That’s what I told all my Luftwaffe pilots!”
-H. Göring
TOUCHDOWN SEAHAWKS!!!!11!!!
In honor of the CFL’s midfield yardline:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RvV3nn_de2k
According to the experts, Trump has solidified his hold on the Republican Party. If you don’t support Trump, you’re not a Republican.
So I’m no longer a Republican. I may even vote Democrat if they’re not too far left.
You’re jumping ship now? I guess it was getting crowded in the trump camp with the Russians, Nazis, Iranians, Saudis, Norwegians, and now the N. Koreans.
I was holding out hope for sanity and common sense to show up. Obviously, fear and idolatry have left sanity and common sense bloody and beaten.
At least the Democrats are competent criminals, is what I say.
About damn time
Hold the phone. I’m still Conservative. I’m just tired of Republicans blowing Trump.
What’s the point of jumping ship? It’s the same party it has always been for at least the past 18 years.
I think you just made a lot of DFOers happy. Join me as an independent, why don’t you?
Or, and hear me out, vote in the only party not dedicated to complete evil while we fix everything.
Welcome! Please help yourself to punch and pie.
“That Brick, always getting drunk and sneaking off to fly commuter airliners.”
I was coked out of my mind on this landing.
I need to find out where I can buy that outfit…
Do you have the legs for it?
Only when he has a hardon.
This is true
Of course!
LA traffic: still fucking terrible
I just had an out of body experience where I envisioned a lifetime of bad jokes based on a football team called the LA Traffic. How am I supposed to go back to normal life in this milquetoast version of reality now?
Why are you driving at 4:42 pm? That’s happy hour time!
Urrrrrport
Dustin Johnson is Michael Phelps’ younger, dumber, shithead brother.
.
Looks like someone turned on Big Head Mode for Moe.