Your “Gotta Go Somewhere” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Former Rams first-round pick OT Greg Robinson was signed by the Browns.
    • The Browns are trying to replace Joe Thomas with whatever they can find.
      • In this case, a guy with a career two broken legs trying to replace a guy who only had one.
  • The Cowboys are, among others, considering Jimmy Johnson for their Ring of Honor.
    • He’s being considered alongside Gil Brandt and Jay Novacek.
    • They are debating whether to include Jason Witten, since he might be coerced to come out of the booth should things break a particular way.
  • Delvin Breaux is taking his talents to South Beach Hamilton.
    • The former CFL standout & Saints IR mainstay is returning to Canada after broken legs in 2016 & 17 kept him sidelined.
    • Breaux was one of the NFL’s great stories in 2015, when he became a breakout star for his hometown Saints 10 years after breaking his neck in a high school game.

Tonight’s sports:

  • Beisbol:
    • MLB:
      • Braves at Blue Jays – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
      • Diamondbacks at Angels – 10:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
        • hopefully, the D-backs are wearing different hats
    • College World Series:
      • Arkansas vs. Texas Tech – 7:00PM | ESPN
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

I found out today that my job is being relocated for facilities, not educational, reasons. I GUESS NOBODY THINKS OF THE CHILDREN!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

168
Leave a Reply

Please Login to comment
40 Comment threads
128 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
20 Comment authors
WakezillaWarthogyeah rightBrick MeathookMr. Ayo Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
Notify of
Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Yeah right, that Mexican rice recipe is exquisite. A new weekday go-to for me.

yeah right

Thanks. I put that bastard through it’s paces before posting it.

Glad you like it.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

WCS

Eh. Close enough.

(TRUE WCS FACT: I was watching this live. It was quite enjoyable.)

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m still trying to figure out how a car that expensive has both front wheels shatter off at the same time while driving straight down a smooth track.

WCS

This is the same league that retires cars before the start of the race with “electrical” issues. Even NASCAR isn’t that corrupt. And the latter officially endorsed Candidate Cheetoh.

Some of those “lesser” teams still spend more on their annual budget to finish 16th out of 20 than some countries’ GDPs.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

They tried to save too much weight on the cross members. Without the necessary mass they had a fatigue failure under heavy braking. (This was at the Spanish GP in Cataluyna if you’re wondering)

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

or the explosive bolts fired too soon

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Gonna need a new spark plug I think.

-tWbS

rockingdog
rockingdog

Big Sean+ Lil Wayne= Medium Shane

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Shit. I’d rather play with their warthogs*.

*As long as there are no actual warts

Gratliff

Peyton Royce. She’s very good.

comment image

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’ve got something she can put in a choke hold

Wakezilla

Do you know who she, and her tag partner are dating in the real world?

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Lance Storm? Or do you actually know?

Wakezilla

I don’t actually know. I heard both were dating well known people, but, I can’t seem to find anything

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, time to go play with my Warthog.
hehehehehe
Nite gents.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Warthog

Ummmm

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog
rockingdog

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

imgur sucks rotten donkey balls.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

I know that now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We both can order that T shirt.

clint greasewood
clint greasewood

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Nailed it.”

-Blair Walsh

Senor Weaselo

Evening lizard people, I just bit the tip of a plastic fork off because it had tasty tasty spekuloos, whipped cream, and chocolate covered waffle on it. Did I miss anything good?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Define “good”.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Today I heard about a coworker’s problems with potty-training her wee ones.

SonOfSpam

Hey, just enjoy not being that person.

Also, tell them to shut the fuck up because no one cares.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

THE CONE OF SILENCE IS AWESOME

yeah right

WHAT?

Wakezilla

I can’t even imagine telling someone that shit. Poor bastard must be ronery

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“telling someone that shit.” Literally.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Only 10 guys, 10 penises, and 20 balls (assuming no childhood issues) in the huddle.

Yes, I’m THAT guy.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The tight end is late to the huddle.

Senor Weaselo

Missing Man Formation? (Someone go for the punchline.)

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

“I’M ALL-TIME QUARTERBACK!!!”

– A. Rodgers

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

Bro, is your joy even tinged with melancholy?

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

rockingdog
rockingdog

Chilling….. dog days of summer….

theeWeeBabySeamus

comment image

SonOfSpam

Holy shit. The border separation thing just broke Rachel Maddow, and she’s more badass than anyone.

SonOfSpam

I may or may not have gotten a bit wet-eyed watching her lose it.

FUCKING VOTE, YOU ASSHOLES, AND DON’T FORGET WHICH GROUP IS OKAY WITH THIS SHIT.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The nonvoting public if counted would have won the 2016 election by an unprecedented landslide. Hum.

Wakezilla

Well, both parties are OK with this.

SonOfSpam

No. That is not true. Democrats are not ok with separating children from parents.

Wakezilla

They didn’t say a peep when this was happening. This is just the next logical deterrent on a continuation of decades long policies.

https://mobile.nytimes.com/2015/02/08/magazine/the-shame-of-americas-family-detention-camps.html

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I voted last time. And all I got was a jury summons. smgdh

SonOfSpam

Yep, It sucks. But keep voting. Unless you disagree with me, of course.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

I’m not a monster, despite all appearances.

blaxabbath

Kinda looks like crisis actoring.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Like them damn paid shooting victims, only not as good acting.

Redshirt

Cincinnati is Cincinnatiing.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

SonOfSpam

Yeah, see, THERE’S your problem.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“I THINK IT’S THE TIMIN’ BELT.”

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

I said ejection seat! Seat!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Well hello again pretty blonde seated behind the plate at the Dirt Cowboys @ Dirt Chefs game. I noticed you last night and here we are again. Just thought I’d say hi and ‘call me’ … because you’re already on your phone and NOT watching the game. OK? Buh-bye.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

SonOfSpam

Dude, you totally got a shot at this.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

I know, right? *HIGH FIVE*

Senor Weaselo

What if she has an app that keeps score instead of buying a scorecard? Some would say that defeats the purpose of scoring a game at the ballpark, and my stack of programs would agree, but credit to her for trying to take an old tradition to the next generation!

SonOfSpam

So how happy would you be, living in Milwaukee (wait, not yet), and getting ready to pay an NBA player a lot of your tax dollars because your cops are racist assholes? I mean, it ain’t just Milwaukee cops who are racist assholes, but this was pretty fucking egregious.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Depends. Is that Milwaukee Hawaii or Milwaukee Wisconsin?

SonOfSpam

Milwaukee, Hawaii has some lovely coconut plantations. We have a timeshare there. I’m eligible to visit again in mid-2026.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, since we treated the native population so wel……….. fuck.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

The only thing Hawaiians hate as much as white people are blacks and Asians. In fact, Hawaiians hate everyone, including other Hawaiians.

SonOfSpam

But…but…I learned mayhaylo and everything!

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

So they are the Pacific’s version of the Scotts?

SonOfSpam

Rick and Linda? Yeah, they’re assholes.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Can’t say as I blame them. Resentment mistaken for racism is a great virtue.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They’ll pay out with little or no punishment or reforms in training or recruitment. Rinse and repeat.

SonOfSpam

Yeah, of course. And the good people of Wisconsin will blame the uppity NBA player and worship the inbred gestapo. As you said, rinse and repeat.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Need some minor repair on #5.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Gonna need a new spark plug I think.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Diesels don’t have spark plugs. smdh. Gobbless.
comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I think that was the joke……

theeWeeBabySeamus

It really annoys me sometimes that you’re the only one who gets some of my jokes.

Meh.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

and it should annoy you because I’m a fucking dick.

JK; if you get chuckle from your own joke, that is what counts. I say that because most of the time that is my case, but I can make myself laugh out loud, so I’m really good at it.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

I chuckled … repeatedly.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

For each spark plug……

theeWeeBabySeamus

and it should annoy you because I’m a fucking dick.

Right there with you, my friend. Which I think is why you and I occasionally butt heads. (hehehehe…buttheads).

Hope you know I love ya, though.

GAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

We also crossed sprays.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
LemonJello
LemonJello

Putin will increase production in the Gulag breweries to make up for any shortfalls.

SonOfSpam

The one policy of his I’d support.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Earlier this evening…

Mom: I feel like cooking tonight. What are you in the mood for?
Me: I think I just want to do something light. Probably just veggies or something. You don’t need to cook.

Two hours later, Mom is deep frying every goddamn vegetable in the fucking house.

Me: comment image

LemonJello
LemonJello

Is she at least using the light cooking oil in the fryer?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well yeah, but…..HEY WHOSE FUCKING SIDE ARE YOU ON HERE ANYWAY??????????????

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Gotta mix that shit with lard ‘er sompin.

theeWeeBabySeamus

To be fair, even though I had raw veggies/salad type thing in mind, not breaded, fried, greasy…blech…

The old broad is 77, was raised in the south, and was in the mood to cook something. I should have realized what was about to happen when I left the details open.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Collard greens take for fucking ever too.

theeWeeBabySeamus

In truth, she rocks the hell out of some greens.

Shit, now I wish I’d told her to cook some. Imma go wake her up and ask for some.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Collard greens done right are very tasty, ask her to kill, pluck and fry a chicken while she’s at it. Grits, honey, creme and butter with your eggs in the morning?

Damn it; I’m giving myself craving based on my perception of your mom’s……. southern cooking.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey man, no need to crave. We’ll fly ya in and she can clog your arteries up close and personal.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not as good as your mom’s but pretty good.

https://www.luciles.com/

theeWeeBabySeamus

Not as good as your mom’s but

Hey Pal, now just you wait a damned minute here…

Oh, never mind.

(there’s your mom joke…heheheheh)

theeWeeBabySeamus

In all seriousness….

My mom has an extensive recipe book. I’m passable at duplicating, but only passable. She missed her calling. For a very white lady, she really could have gotten rich doing a soul food restaurant type of thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Not surprised; practice and perfect; send it down to to the children.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My mom is Paula Deen, only a better cook and without the inherent racism.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My mom wasn’t the best cook either; but a great gardener and canner, fruit and vegetables all year, pies, canned fruit in the winter and she did a great pot roast. She’ sounds like she is being a mom and makin’ some dinner, that’s a good thing in and of itself. I took that simple kindness for granted way too much.

Let’s move on to a mom joke now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

My Mom is actually a great cook, fwiw. I just wasn’t clear enough and her upbringing took over…

When in doubt, FRY SOMETHING!!!!!!!

But yes, it was done out of love and I ate it and told her thank you and I love her.

theeWeeBabySeamus
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Good work.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

You should have said cheese. Or chicken. Or butter.

LemonJello
LemonJello

/Andy Reid’s mouth starts watering (more than usual).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Let the Hamilton Breauxmance begin!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That is a fucking terrible pun, but I still had to Breauxch it.

LemonJello
LemonJello

You sound like a Breauxken record…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

Senor Weaselo

“Like it ever stopped!” -Marquis de Lafayette

herodotus450
herodotus450

Barry Trotz didn’t mean to quit, it’s just that his sneaky power hungry Russian counterpart gave him the wrong date for his contract negotiation.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey guys. Guys!!!! Remember when Baltimore was ahead 4-1, and 5-1 and 6-5? Yeah, that was fun.
At least Trea Turner (NC State product and a really good kid) is the one mostly fucking them over tonight. So there’s that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Holy shit, Washington is almost as stupid as Baltimore.
Two guys caught in a run down on one play, both retired to end the inning.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

In their defense, they were waiting for Bal to fuck it up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO. Point well-taken. That is usually the safe bet.

Redshirt

I’m at the Reds game and Birdamania is running wild!

WCS

theeWeeBabySeamus

“How not to execute a double steal” by The Baltimore Orioles.

In bookstores soon.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Double steal? That’s, like, elementary school stuff.”
-Anonymous Baltimore 5th grader

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Stealing twins? It’s like a two for one detainment special!”
-Anonymous president

Wakezilla

From WaPo: “U.S. quits U.N. human rights panel over what it has described as anti-Israel bias”

Racist country that divides families goes to bat for rascist apartheid country that divides families. That’s some mighty fine unity.

Gratliff

Running out of snark, even. Shit is getting grim.

comment image

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yep.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

LemonJello
LemonJello

Warranty should cover that, right?

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Gonna need a bigger buffer.

ArmedandHammered
ArmedandHammered

Announcer “Anybody here able to pull a truck off the track?”

theeWeeBabySeamus

There’s the Baltimore I know and love….errrrr….am in a co-dependent relationship with.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh Baltimore, up 4-1 after 4 complete…how you tease me so.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

It’s like you can see the future.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, it’s as if I’m psychic.
Either that, or they suck.

Probably they suck.

LemonJello
LemonJello

Narrator’s voice: “They suck.”

herodotus450
herodotus450

trump is just jealous that Bill Clinton got all that news coverage over detaining ONE child…

SonOfSpam

And that was to get him BACK to a parent.

Gratliff

At what point does wishing death on these people become not only socially acceptable, but morally right?

.@Zac_Petkanas says on Fox News a 10-year-old girl with Down Syndrome was separated from her mother at the border.

Corey Lewandowski responds: "Womp womp." pic.twitter.com/cZMXWmwbjw

— Jon Passantino (@passantino) June 19, 2018

LemonJello
LemonJello

Death is too easy – wish for public humiliation and ruin that they never recover from.

SonOfSpam

(Trump’s approval rating among Republicans reaches 100%)

theeWeeBabySeamus

CWS rained out tonight. The sports gods are gonna make me watch Washington beat the hell out of Baltimore.
It’s like some cosmic joke.

LemonJello
LemonJello

It could be worse – you could be forced to watch a 6 hour retrospective of U*NC highlights.
comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

At least then I’d feel justified in breaking things.
And that’s therapeutic!!!!!!

Wakezilla

Big Cass got released today. Hard to believe him and Enzo Amore were one of the hottest acts in the WWE about 18 months ago

Wakezilla

Has anyone experienced LA without having a car? Is it possible? Any tips?

ballsofsteelandfury

Where are you going to be staying?

If you’re in DTLA, you’ll be fine. Anywhere else, you’re fucked.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve been investigating this myself so as to try for another visit soon, but on the cheap this time compared to last. ie I’ve kinda shot my load for extravagant vacation budgets for a while.

What Balls is saying jibes with what I’ve learned. So it looks like it’s gonna be the super compact rental car if I wanna save the dough.

comment image

Just don’t drive a Tesla on Santa Monica Blvd and you’ll be fine.

theeWeeBabySeamus

It also depends if you’re staying somewhere and don’t need to go somewhere else, of course.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Yeah, Downtown can be experienced without a car, just ask the guys who live in cardboard boxes down there. Otherwise, if you don’t have a car you’re not really living in Los Angeles, you’re merely existing there. This city was built for the car and by the car, more than any other. What you need to know are the secret routes, and even that Waze crap doesn’t know them. You have to know how to drive here.

ballsofsteelandfury

THIS

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

comment image

ballsofsteelandfury

Is Victoria her name?

LemonJello
LemonJello

This Sunday Gravy should be, uh, different.

herodotus450
herodotus450

If his nickname isn’t “Cool Story” Breaux I’ll eat my hat.

LemonJello
LemonJello

comment image?itemid=5389265