Your “I Was Nowhere Near New Jersey When I Killed Him” Wednesday Evening Open Thread

theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it’s a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles.When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.
theeWeeBabySeamus

NFL News

Janoris Jenkins is the new Orenthal James Simpson.  Maybe.  Hopefully not.

 

In all seriousness, and in spite of my very witty post title….

All of the details aren’t yet available here, so let’s not rush to judgement.  But it is being investigated as a homicide by “strangulation/suffocation” currently.  Then again, it is Jersey soooooo…..yeah.

The decedent has been identified as 25 year old Roosevelt Rene, a family friend of Jenkins’.  Apparently, other family members of Jenkins’ were also residents in the home where the body was found, and by all accounts Janoris has been in Florida since Giants’ mini camp ended.  Allegedly.

My advice Janoris?  If you didn’t do it, go home and deal with it.  If for no other reason than your family members (the allegedly “not guilty” ones, at least) need you.  And staying away makes you look guilty, even if only by association and/or “accessory after the fact” type stuff.  Go home Janoris.  TODAY!!!!!

Trust me.

Fred Goldman has reportedly already been booked on tonight’s Inside Edition  to give his meaningless opinion.

Elsewhere, Yahoo reports that a study done by Dr. Michael Lewis of Emory’s Goizueta Business School has found that the Cowboys, Patriots and Eagles have the best fan bases.  I think we can all agree that this is complete bullshit.  The same study also found that the worst fan bases are Tennessee, RAMMIT!!!!! and Kansas City.  This part seems legit.

Lewis’s model averages three measurements of fan loyalty: Fan Equity, Social Equity, and Road Equity. If your team isn’t as high as you’d like, chances are it fell short in one of these three areas:

Fan Equity: How much fans spend on their team, at the ticket office and on memorabilia/regalia. (Best: Cowboys, 49ers, Patriots; worst: Rams, Raiders, Jaguars)

Social Equity: How passionate fans are in following their teams on social media across all channels. (Best: Patriots, Cowboys, Steelers; worst: Rams, Jaguars, Titans)

Road Equity: How well teams draw on the road, adjusting for their win-loss record. (Best: the NFC East, Pittsburgh; worst: Texans, Titans, Browns)

I’m just screwing with you, Iggles’ fans.  You got you a Lombardi Trophy soooooooo…  You can take it.  It’s just a joke.

Hey stop throwing batteries at me you assholes!!!!!!

MLB Murders?

And not to be outdone, meanwhile in Atlanta

A body was found Tuesday afternoon inside a walk-in beer cooler at SunTrust Park, according to a Cobb County police spokeswoman.

The man was a third-party contractor and was found by a fellow worker, Officer Sarah O’Hara said.

Tonight’s Sports

It’s pretty much only baseball.  Sorry.

College World Series Finals

  • Game 2 – Arkansas vs Oregon State (Arkansas 1-0)  – 7:00pm EDT – TV: ESPN

MLB

  • Angels at Red Sox – 7:00pm EDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
  • Yankees at Phillies – 7:00pm EDT – TV: MLBN (regional split)
  • Cubs at Dodgers – 10:00pm EDT – TV:  ESPN

Full Schedule

Summer Still Stinks

Yeah, I said it!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus
theeWeeBabySeamus
An unapologetic, even if often manic-depressive (it's a requirement given his choices of sports teams), fan of NC State University, the Baltimore Ravens and the Baltimore Orioles. When not parked in front of the computer and/or TV, can often be found on the golf course shouting obscenities to no one in particular.

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Senor WeaseloMoose -The End Is Well NighblaxabbathWCSballsofsteelandfury Recent comment authors
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Still a good boy or girl, 13/10, would sweep again

blaxabbath

Wife is hitting her “I just want this out of me” stride of discomfort.

I’m over here getting all high.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Take heart; Stormy Daniels said the same thing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Pam Poovey learned her badassness from her grandma.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Leonard Nimoy is . . . ACTING!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

Is that cum?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

There’s not enough hooliganism at this world cup

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Well, so to speak anyway.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

B-side “Climb Up On My Merry Thresher”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Shaw Shank Redemption; The Confiscation.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

NSFDFO; coffee shop exposure.

h

ttps://78.media.tumblr.com/b3f3959520498dfec6c39bf82857e5cd/tumblr_os1z8sLZpz1tx2x3eo1_1280.jpg

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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A painting by Blair Walsh.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Jesus went to Holiday Inn Express and asked if they could put him up for the night.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m working in my home studio this week on a project due Friday. I can pull it off, but I have really fucked-off all day.

ballsofsteelandfury

Ain’t nothing wrong with that. You’ve got all night!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

The best part of European Vacation was the German girl’s titties. AMC just edited them out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m in such a shit mood after today. I doubt even pornography can cheer me up.

ballsofsteelandfury

Let’s not be hasty…

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

Only one way to find out.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I yelped like a puppy and jumped out of my seat during this scene at the theatre. SUCH a good piece of cinema.

ballsofsteelandfury

I also did not realize you were such a big Mannschaft fan…

King Hippo

I mean, seriously. I could fuck some shit up today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

you had the perfect tool!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

I told you a hundred times, I was just trying to get his zipper unstuck ,, smh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I murder helping?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I guess the anal didn’t go as planned…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

After the pegging they asked her to pay the hospital bill.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“He liked it….. at first.”

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

These Beavers prefer being on top.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Some Brick Meathook discount trinkets (all work perfectly):
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1977 Polaroid SX-70, $120 off ebay
1951 Speed Graphic Pacemaker w/ Optar 127mm f/4.8 lens, $75 at yard sale
Three Zippo lighters: Brass from Canadian submarine “Ojibwa,” I traded a hat for it; black crinkle-finish WWII style, bought at Zippo factory in Bradford PA for $10, Brass standard Zippo bought at a head shop 25 years ago
1929 Western Electric 51AL Candlestick phone, $200 off eBay 10 years ago
Leica IIIf w/ Summarit 5cm f/1.5 lens, free (didn’t work, ten minutes after I got it home it worked fine)
1956 Rolleiflex 2.8E w/ 80mm Zeiss Planar lens, free
Shuron Ronsir glasses w/ clip-on sunglasses, purchased from factory in Greenville SC
Omega Speedmaster watch (single most expensive item); purchased in Beverly Hills in 2000 for $1100, list $2500. This is a replacement, the original was sent back for repair in New Jersey in late 2001 and vanished. 9/11 happened around the same time.
Brass signet ring stamped “BERLIN 1949,” made in Berlin from melted shell casings, free
1929 U.S. Silver “Peace” dollar, free
Randolph Engineering military/NASA-issue full-UV aviator glasses, $70 from factory in PA. After Don Draper wore a pair in “Mad Men” the price of these shot up to over $200. I had ’em first.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are doing it wrong; you should neglect your collectable in a dusty box in the basement.

Senor Weaselo

Hey tWBS, I just saw an armored van and trucking flyer waiting for a bus that said to ask for Dave. Seems he’s doing some moonlighting…

ballsofsteelandfury

Slut

Gratliff

I, for one, am happy that reality in America has reached the “detach emotionally before the grip of despair becomes suffocating” stage. Finally, a chance to use everything I’ve learned in my love life for practical purposes.

Redshirt

I’m glad that I’m on a Border State to Canada. If shit goes down, I can be in Ontario in five hours. Three if I have a boat waiting for me once I reach Lake Erie.

Redshirt

BattleBots has a bot that a can fire a five-pound slug. Well, they’re airing the fight so I doubt the slug didn’t go through the arena glass and into the crowd.

Redshirt

Alright, on a YouTube walk I have confirmed the following:

– If all the oil disappeared, we would survive but difficulty.
– If the Earth stops spinning, a few of us would survive but barely.
– If the Earth stops orbiting the Sun, we die halfway before we kissed the face of the Sun.
– Neutron Star = Dead
– Another Planet = Dead
– Meteor the Speed of Light = We’d be dead before we knew what hit us.
– Humans will probably evolve into a taller, skinnier, hairless, big-eyed, darker skinned person with a bigger brain.

And while I didn’t find a video but I think its very obvious, the chicken came before the egg.

WCS

So, South Park was right?

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Redshirt

No. Darker skin (protect from UV radiation), bigger eyes (because humans rely on them for technology and we’d probably colonize the other planets farther away from the sun), and bigger skulls from the back (our brains are increasing).

Oh, and our fingers will be longer and limb like and our feet will only have one toe.

herodotus450
herodotus450

If the first chicken arose because of some post-birth proto-chicken mutation then the chicken was first. Otherwise, two proto-chickens got freaky and their offspring was the first chicken egg. Smrt money is on the latter.

Redshirt

Consider the following: If two proto-chickens got their freak on, and then the female proto-chicken gave birth to a chicken egg, wouldn’t that make the proto-chicken a chicken?

herodotus450
herodotus450

I guess I meant to say two different types of proto-chickens. It’s like a muppet; when a mop and a puppet get together, you get a muppet. The muppet didn’t exist before.

Redshirt

That makes sense. Like a dog can mate with a jackal or coyote and produce a hybrid.

Beta-level Chicken + Egg-laying bird-thingy = Hatchamal Chicken

King Hippo

love, LOVE those NatGeo “end of the world” shows. Always improve my mood.

Senor Weaselo

If you’re going to read the what if section of xkcd my favorite is still the collect them all periodic table because once we get to a cubic meter of astatine that surrounding area is fucked and then it gets worse once you get to the actinides!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Tungsten is still Wolfram to me, dammit!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

There’s no selection pressure for any of those things other than taller humans.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

It’s really sad Manny Machado can’t get traded out of that pit of despair.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Okay, Rikki, time to head upstairs and see if that can’t miss idea you had is really as great as it seemed.

King Hippo

let us know when you need bail/alibi, or a doctor when your wife shoots you…

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Boy I am glad I don’t actually get MASN at my house…

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

SEAGER! lol Orioies

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Here’s a cutaway view of a Rolex watch:
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Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

This checks out

King Hippo

I like the thought of some rich asshole’s Rolex being cut in half!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I own a Rolex. A nice one too. I am a Rolex owning dickhead. And you know what? I also own a Rolleiflex. A nice one too. I am a Rolleiflex and Rolex owning double-dickhead.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is it a real Rolex or is it one of those fake Rolexes like the one I bought on the street in Washington D.C. that turned out to be an astonishingly well-made watch?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

It’s a real Rolex Datejust that my mom bought for my dad at a PX in Madrid Spain for $300 in 1958. I got it for free. I spent $350 on a complete overhaul of it in downtown L.A. last year (at Time-Tec, the Armenians are the best watch mechanics). My dad bought the Rolleiflex new in Germany around the same time, probably for a song. I got that for free too. Currently having it overhauled for $450 in Manhattan Beach. My total cost for both: $800.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Heh heh, Overhaul.

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Senor Weaselo

WELCOME BACK TO CHOMP CHAT WHERE WE HEY STOP THAT, COME BACK HERE YOU!
/Hammers the screws
//Falls down

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Actually I’m re-reading my “I own a Rolex . . ” post up there. It was supposed to be funny, but it’s looks kind of arrogant now. Ya see, I’m a poor Rolex owning dickhead . . .

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Nah, it’s fine.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Although, fuck it. I’m proud of my watches and cameras, and I own nice ones and get them for good prices and keep them forever and they all work flawlessly.

King Hippo

you are very much the precision engineer the Clubhouse needs, good man!

King Hippo

no, you got me on that one. Plus, you are Brick Fookin’ Meathook, we wouldn’t begrudge you being a rich dickhead even if you WERE one. 😀

herodotus450
herodotus450

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scotchnaut

Can’t tell you how much the World Cup threads are a blessing to me. Trying to figure out a stupid joke while watching the action and interacting with smart fellas with a keen sense of humour takes my mind off some dumb shit that tends to occupy/bog down my thoughts.

/don’t let this get to your (respective) heads though

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

The televangelists movement, especially the whole “Prosperity Theology” is so fascinating to me. J don’t mean to offend anyone but I’ve never had much respect for Sola Fide theology of Protestantism. The Catholic Church is a shit show but I can at least wrap my head around the concept of Faith and Good Works as opposed to just saying “baby Jesus forgives me being a fucking twat my whole life so it’s all good”.

But lordy…I cannot fathom how you could read the New Testament and come away with the notion that Jesus wants you to get a BMW and be rich….and the o ly requirement is to give Benny Hinn enough cash to buy another personal jet.

Like how the fuck does Joel Olsteen sleep at night?

ballsofsteelandfury

Bless your heart

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

On top of a pile of money with many beautiful ladies.

King Hippo

mainline Protestants don’t go in for that shite. I think the “by faith alone” (or really, in my view, “by mercy alone”) works rationally because nobody can be perfect, and God doesn’t want his chill’uns jockeying for position so they can be declared Dad’s/Mom’s favourite.

Every parent can tell you how annoying as fuck that is. And pointless, because you love your kids equally, even if one is a total sack of shit.

As my favourite pastor told my oldest kid, Methodism appealed to him because it was based on reason. Or as I put it, they asked me to believe in less fucked-up shit than any other denomination. Plus, pretty laid back and quiet.

Of course, somehow Jefferson Beauregard Sessions is one, which shocked the shit out of me. One suspects that is the denomination of the 10% of white folk in AL that vote Demmycrat.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Yeah I should be clear that my interaction and understanding of Protestantism is limited to self reading and interaction with people in the Navy.

Like I’ve never er actually had a chance to discuss theology with someone that wasn’t really limited in their background.

One of my regrets about college was I wasn’t able to take a bunch of religious courses.

King Hippo

yeah, the military is supposedly rife with mostly the evangelical/non-denominational branch of Protestantism. Which is sadly what’s been ascending over the last 50 years or so, because Murrika.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Fuck most of them never even read the Bible besides the quotes they would throw at me on the smoking sponson late at night.

God I lost track the fucked up shit people would tell me like that I was a Satanist because the pope worshiped the devil and shit like that.

nomonkeyfun

The whole reason behind the faith alone part for mainline OG Proddies is plenary indulgences. They just didn’t want the rich to be able to buy their way into heaven by buying something nice for the Pope.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Last night I cooked up a sirloin steak topped with chimichurri mostly made from garden ingredient, with battered and fried zuchinni (also from the garden) on the side.

Tonight I’m having Del Taco cause I had coupons.

Wakezilla

Champagne Rick is working the C’s game. On a related note, former C, Zack Boruki had one hell of a debut tonight.

WCS

herodotus450
herodotus450

Pretty sure the “I just got my period” line would get this movie a NC-17 rating these days.

scotchnaut

“A period? I’d let it slide.”

-Funk and Wagnalls

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m watching that on AMC right now.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Did you know this guy is still around? On TV too. He’s in the Apocalypse predicting racket now.
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King Hippo

I like his odds in the current climate

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

He’s actually pretty bad at it. The dates keep coming and going and no rapture.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Here’s Tammy Faye II
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King Hippo

that’s pretty clearly a tranny, no?

scotchnaut

Be sure to buy his home-made ‘Pocalyse pail of Jesus love’-available now for the low, low price of “Whatever You Can Afford”

scotchnaut

Made Shrimp Alfredo from scratch-used a bit of salt and pepa-

scotchnaut

It befuddles the fuck out of me why this tune doesn’t get a shit-ton of love and admiration. Fucking brilliant.

herodotus450
herodotus450

VERY disappointed that Germany’s dismissal from the world cup was their own doing, and not the result of some complicated and convoluted tie breakers, goal differential, and alliances.

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

I finally took a couple of days off from work. First time this year. Drove up to visit my folks.

Watching the O’s with the old man.

Forgot to bring my medication so this evening should be fun!

King Hippo

Christ and Sonny Jeebus, #BFIB are facing off against a Bieber 2nite!

/also, Josh Marshall mails today’s depression atom bomb:

https://talkingpointsmemo.com/edblog/thoughts-on-justice-kennedys-announcement

herodotus450
herodotus450

I like to imagine that sometime, in the far far distant future, the only extant remnant of our culture is a comment from Hippo like this one. Being the only data point for future archaeologists, they proceed to assume that this is how we all talked, all the time.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I wonder if I’ll still be alive by the time the U.S. reverses all of the regression it’s done and will do under Trump, and I wonder how many colonies on other planets China will have by then.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

China is lucky they even get astronauts back alive from low Earth orbit. They ain’t goin’ nowhere. Their colonies will be in Africa and South America.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Hell Yeah!
/It’s cause we shoot them down, right?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Because they use cheap metal.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Heh, losers.
/Sips Chinese green tea from a metal mug from… somewhere.

ballsofsteelandfury

THIS.

King Hippo

methinks it will take at least 30, probably 40-50 years to undo the tangle (if ever), so I think a quick, early death is better hope FOAR me.

That China vision is intriguing, though. I’m sure we will still call it FAKE NEWS!!! whilst giving our plants the Gatorade they crave…

Redshirt
scotchnaut

Where do you want to visit the next you’re able? Me? I’m so curious about Austin, Texas.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

What is a “closed comment thread” and why am I on the shitlist? I paid my dues this month.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
What could possibly go wrong?
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LemonJello
LemonJello

“IT’S…ROBOT FIGHTING TIME!”
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ballsofsteelandfury

This should be the feature image for the Battlebots Beat.

Senor Weaselo

But it took me two years to get a Low Commander image! It’s like I finally made it!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like how the study tags Raiders fans as being shitty fans because they’re poor.

LemonJello
LemonJello

I don’t think they took into account most of the Jaguras fans spend Euros and Pounds for their merchandise.

Redshirt

(during break at work, reads Trump Republicans winning primaries)

“Okay, the Vichy Republican Party is a lost cause. But hopefully the Democrats will give us something for independents, undecided and Effectively Disenfranchised Republicans who hate Trump something to vote for.”

(reads on how three Far Left Democrats winning primaries, including a Democratic Socialist beating a possible successor to Pelosi)

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I bet she’s endorsing all kinds of crazy ideas, like a national “retirement fund” older Americans can tap into after working their entire lives, or using government funds to subsidize food and medical care for people who are too poor to afford it or too disabled to work.

Redshirt

Its not her views, its the word “socialist”. You know Deflectin’ Donnie’s going to be saying that all summer long.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Let him. He’d be saying shit like that whether she identified as socialist or not. How many times have you heard that orange turd cry “Democrats want open borders” this week alone?

These primaries showed the Democratic party that voters are not interested in candidates who consider giving the bully only half of their lunch money to be a “win” because at least he didn’t get it all. At this point I’d rather have no money and a bloody nose than these incremental losses that are just a slower way of getting to total ones.

Fuck civility. Let Republicans be the ones hand-wringing about language and unfair tactics for once.

ballsofsteelandfury

The problem with most Democrats is that they’re fucking pussies.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Most Republicans are, too. Just look at how SHS has now been assigned a Secret Service detail now that she got quietly asked to leave a restaurant one time. Just look at how many of their leaders dodged the draft. The problem is that Democrats (also being pussies) never call them on their tough guy bluffs.

ballsofsteelandfury

Exactly. There are a handful of bullies running this entire country because the rest of the politicians are too much of a pussy to stand up to them.

Redshirt

Agreed. If this Congress was the congress in ’74, Nixon would’ve been a five term president like what happened in 1985A.

LemonJello
LemonJello

“Language? There’s only one language allowed here,ya librul snowflaek. And that’s Muriccan!”
-Herr Charlemango’s minion

Redshirt

Those voters were Democratic voters. I respect them for starting to vote them out (honestly that’s half the battle right there). But if they keep going left, all they’ll do is get their own votes. They have to get other people to vote for them. Having your platform be “Not Trump” isn’t going to do it.

I may not be a Republican anymore, but I’m still a Conservative. Telling Trump and the GOP to “sit on it and rotate” didn’t mean I suddenly believe in Abolishing 2nd Amendment, Standardized Education, Tax Raises on All Brackets to pay for Abortions and Entitlements, and Abolishing ICE and opening the border to everyone.

(This is just a big guess on what the Far Left believes – honestly I just imagined what a coked-out Fox News Commentator would say).

What good’s your pride going to be if the GOP stays in power or if Trump gets another four years?

Gratliff

The Tea Party was walking insanity, an incredibly visual embarrassment to conservatives across the country, and wreaked havoc on the GOP establishment at the time. The federal government is now chock full o’ their own homegrown crazies and the old guard types that were spineless enough to cater to everything they wanted.

ballsofsteelandfury

I think true Socialists in Europe would take offense at Democrats being called Socialist.

ballsofsteelandfury

Man, the Beavers got pounded last night, eh?

Redshirt

That’s what happens with you get cocky.