Is this thing done yet? – World Cup Tuesday Open thread

litre_cola

litre_cola

Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia.
litre_cola

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Photo is of Ottmar-Hitzfeld Stadium in Switzerland 2000 m above sea level. taken from sportskeeda.com

This truly has been quite the remarkable World Cup thus far. The thing that is frustrating me the most is the fact that England has to go through Colombia, then the winner of the 1st game today followed by the winner of Croatia v Russia. Murderers row it is not. I do think that other than the final our biggest hope for their defeat is today with the Cocaine boys. COME ON COCAINE BOYS! DO IT FOR CARLOS!!!!!

I actually like the majority of the English team this year and I think that Southgate was cagey with how he played against the Belgians. He lost on purpose and looked good doing it. It is their awful, deplorable, brutal media. God they are just the worst. They currently are building them up as kings and just waiting to bring the knives out should they lose.

 

Sweden v Switzerland @ Christianmingle.com Saint Petersburg Stadium ,St. Petersburg

Litre_Cola: Have a tough time sleeping last night? We do I have the fixture for you! I have a dilemma. In order to get a seat at the pub for the England game I will have to go down there to watch this snoozer then have a 2 hour break. Dilemma is that I have to pick up Decilitre and cannot get bombed like I enjoying getting. I guess I will head down there and watch this inevitable snooze fest as both sides are not known for their high powered offenses. That being said the Swiss look most likely to play attacking football and could pressure the Swedes in to mistake off the flanks.

Prediction: Suisse 1- Sverige 0, I truly hope it is more entertaining than this. Probably from the guy that totally is on PED’s, some mysterious Albanian PED’s you have never heard of before.

Balls: As I mentioned in the Sunday preview,  the Scandinavian teams (Denmark and Sweden) don’t necessarily play well or attractive fútbol. They stifle offenses and counterattack.

The Swiss tend to play in a similar style. Their pre-tournament #6 ranking was a shock to me as I had not seen them stand out in any of their games.

So,  when you have the Unmovable Force v the Immovable Force, what happens?

Prediction: A dull and dreary 0-0 tie that goes to penalties unless one of the teams makes a fatal mistake.  On the bright side,  at least one of these two will be eliminated.

Hippo: Watch this fucker end up 5-4, with multiple, 5’9″ blonde streakers.  Fuck you, it could so happen.  I watched the 2nd half of Waffles/Kamikazes yesterday.

Wild Ass Guess: Swedes win 3-1 because reasons

Don T:  I hated Sweden: their passive game, the lack of attacks, the overall lulling a team into boredom. Then they played Germany and Kroos made the free kick and two Germans punked the Sweden bench. The Swedes got mad.

Via FFSTV / YouTube

The bush league taunt. The cowardly running, then followed by the confrontation and shoving. Someone even squirted water out of anger! It’s great, but if Germans try that shit with South Americans, somebody’s getting shivved #JustSayin

But Sweden awoke. They beat México 3-0, back when El Tri was hot. Hope they bring some edge to today’s game. Then again, the Swedish captain’s wife is set to give birth today. Seems like he’ll play, though: “I’m fully focused on the game tomorrow and my wife is very strong.” Since he’s the fourth player in Russia 2018 in that situation, it’s official: qualifying-for-the-World Cup sex is a First World Problem.

I hated Switzerland. What I remember from previous World Cups was a lot of tedious 1-nils with a lotta sitting back. Not this Swiss team: they took it to Brazil and Serbia, attacking quickly and without fear. Lichtensteiner is a world-class prick, but I liked watching this Swiss team all the same.

Predicción: Suecia 1 : 0 Suiza. Both teams revert to overly cautious mode in a very physical game in which a Swiss will get a red card.

Wakezilla: Remember when I made a plea to not cheer for teams like Iceland, Denmark, Sweden or Switzerland because they play a painfully boring defensive style and the more success they acquire, the more teams are going to copy them, resulting in nothing but garbage lesser footy? Well, get ready for this shit show!

Sweden is the giant killer, as they played a role in knocking out Germany. This is also in addition to eliminating Italy and Holland along the way. They’re good at what they do: Playing boring, defensive lesser footy.

Switzerland is currently unbeaten in 22 games because they have mastered their “I rather watch paint dry than watch this shit” style of play. Midfielder Steven Zuber is out with an illness. Switzerland might struggle on defense because Stephan Lichtsteiner, and Fabian Schär are out of for the match (Yellow card bans). This will put pressure on Ricardo Rodriguez to hold the fort. He also has financial incentive to play well because Milan is going to sell him off, after they received harsh financial sanctions from FIFA for breaking economic rules.

Prediction: ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. Switzerland wins 0-0 (3-2) in penalty kicks.

Ron Howard voice: Switzerland won 4-3 and this game went down as the greatest round of 16 match in FIFA history.

 

England v Colombia @ Trumpdate Spartak Stadium, Moscow

Litre_Cola: Please let this be the game where the English get their hearts broken. I can see them running the train on the rest of the teams in this side of the bracket which is awful. The Cocaine boys have to be the ones who put them t the sword. I just read that James will not be playing which is a huge blow to the Colombians. Heh, blow, Colombians.  We know Rodallega ain’t walkin through that door either.

I also cannot handle Harry Kane getting the golden boot, no sirree, no thank you. I have no issues with the lad at Tottenham but one of the bigger clubs will buy him if he has a tournament to remember.

The pub will be packed and I hope they leave sad because I can’t see anyone else stack up against them the way that the Colombians do. Very shrewd Southgate, very shrewd.

Prediction: England 2 – Colombia 1, we will endure the English media for another week.

Balls: My distaste for all things English football is well-known around here.  Why would you expect it to stop here? I do think that Colombia has finally recovered from the early red card in the first game and is now ready to truly get the tourney going.

England lost to Belgium in a weird game last time out.  They could have gone top of the group and faced Japan.  That will come back and bite them in the ass.

Predicción: Colombia 2 Inglaterra 1

Hippo: If there is any semblance of a Lesser Footy God(dess?) out there, then Coca Bros. simply have to win this one.  For onesies, Fuck England.  For twosies, the Waffles somehow survived and advanced, so we need to keep the Hippo Vision progressing.  For thirdies, cocaine is absolutely glorious, and you should NEVAR do it, because it is just that glorious.

Predicción: Colombia bags one each half, to LOLEngland’s wet fart, 2-nil

Don T: Coach José Pékerman said James is a game time decision. The Poland 3-0 showed how much James brings to Los Cafeteros. But they got talent; Cuadrado and Falcao are able, and Juan Quintero may not be very fast, but the guy is SMRT:

Via FIFATV / YouTube

I really like this England team. But it’s Senegal all over again: you play Colombia, I wanna see you lose.

There’s plenty of incentives to want the Tri-Loins stumble, of course. For one, there’s the generalized “We’re going to win the World Cup!” jokey optimism by the Englen fans and media. It’s fucking grating. Hey, Nigel: that cheeky detachment ain’t fooling anyone. Quit your emotional hedging and own up to your convictions, you condescending toffs.

Predicción: England 1 : 2 Colombia. I trust José Néstor Pékerman Krimen. Guy could pull off a win against England as smoothly as wearing a suit with Vans.

Via zimbio.com / postimages.com

Colombia has one of the nicer kits out there

Wakezilla: This is a really hard game to figure out because this World Cup has been absolutely unpredictable. Colombia has better goaltending, better defense, the midfield is a wash and England has better strikers. James is most likely out of this match, which most likely means England gets the edge in midfielders playing. Colombia’s CB, Mina, has scored twice in two games and is definitely useful at set pieces. Quintero has a goal and two assists and will have to keep up his excellent play. I think it comes down to Falcao and if he can have a good match. He’s been rather ordinary this tournament with one goal. He is going to have to produce.

As anticipated, England’s media is already planning the World Cup parade, despite the Brits not having won a playoffs game in 10 years. Classic British media. Just a reminder, they’re thinking World Cup title win because the three headed LioUns defeated Tunisia and Panama and are conveniently overlooking the fact they lost to Belgium.  While England likely tanked the third game, they still haven’t beaten a legit World Cup tender. Also, championship teams don’t tank. When a team tanks, I think they’re inviting negative karma to bite them in the ass. Anyone remember Sweden in the 2002 Olympics Hockey tournament? They tanked so they could play Belarus. They lost the game and were eliminated.

Predicción:

When I first started to write this preview, I had this inkling in my stomach that England was going to win tomorrow. I think I have talked myself out of that. Colombia has better goaltending and defense and scoring is harder to come by in the playoffs. As a result, I think Colombia has the edge, and will defeat England 2-1.

litre_cola
litre_cola
A pugs best friend. Wine drinker. Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia. One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse
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Petronel

…and the boss sends me an urgent, gotta-have-it-now thing to do before I leave for the day (and the next day) FIVE MINUTES before the PK battle starts.

Oh well. Maybe will catch it later.

Sharkbait

So the English Keeper was Evertonian? *Googles Everton schedule*

Kane is making a strong case for the Spurs, as is Vardy for Foxy Soccer.

Wakezilla

So… Everyone’s welcome to join the Croatian bandwagon. As an added plus, their women are gorgeous and have travelled well to Russia.

tomsellecksmoustache
tomsellecksmoustache

Let’s hope the Russian ultras reel in the pasty Brits tonight.

scotchnaut

Everything is stupid.*

*I might be lost in the moment

LemonJello
LemonJello

Bah gawd, King…that’s…that’s the Three Lion’s music!

Sharkbait

Not very fear inspiring is it?

bk109
bk109

Fuck it, I’m out (mostly, because I need to smoke a cigar, but also because I don’t want to see Hippo jinx something else tonight XD )

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

More like Crier, am I ri…wait, he made it?