Sorry for the light news and delayed thread tonight everyone. The #contentmines were not properly stocked and now you’re stuck with me tonight.
NFL News:
- The Patriots are looking to trade Superb Owl LII “MVP,” Malcolm Mitchell, because if you say one mean thing to Belichick, he never forgets
- Conner Barwin agreed to a two year deal with the New York Giants after saying he was only going to sign with a “contender” this year.
- That, uh, doesn’t seem to have worked out too well for him.
- Tony Sparano is headed to the big gabba-goo in the sky, unexpectedly dying from natural causes associated with heart disease earlier this morning.
- Sparano was serving as the Vikings O-Line Coach, after his infamous years coaching in Oakland and Miami
- Given Zygi Wilf’s mob connections, can we ever be truly sure that these were, in fact, natural causes?
- Sparano was serving as the Vikings O-Line Coach, after his infamous years coaching in Oakland and Miami
What the Hell is on Tonight?:
- Only thing I really see tonight that’s national are the Dirt Bears hosting the Zonies at Wrigley – ESPN @ 5pm PST
Tomorrow night, I will be seeing one of my favorite bands, Streetlight Manifesto, here in San Diego, as they continue their Everything Goes Numb tour, playing their first album front to back. If you haven’t heard it, please enjoy it in it’s entirety below, especially Point/Counterpoint:
Best of luck out there folks!
Got whooped (at work) tonight. Got drunk after. I wish I hadn’t, because I have @ an hour left of the Jim Jarmusch film about The Stooges called “Gimme Danger”. Maybe tomorrow.
I haven’t heard if that, and I love The Stooges! I’ll have to check that out.
It’s really good
Anybody else think the voice from that Denny’s “$5.99 are you out of your mind” commercial sounds like Ray Gillette?
I love that American Immunity < Soviet Vengeance.
So last night was out second with the baby at home. First night was an absolute train wreck — crying, pleading, exhaustion to the max (I broke) — last night was significantly better, though still terribly difficult (mostly because of the previous night). Woke up this morning and just completely botched breakfast. Used the wrong pans, smoke everywhere, burnt the bacon — just couldn’t perform a routine task I have done a hundred times before. I described it as that Simpson’s where Homer pours milk on cereal and then the bowl of cereal goes up in flames. My wife laughed but said she’d never seen that.
So tonight after we put him down, I got to introduce my wife to that clip and she thought it was funny. Which made me happy because, honestly, some of the stuff that she thinks is funny, I’m like, “that is absolutely terrible.”
Hang in there, Blax. One thing that helped Mrs.Wakezilla and I was buying stuff that is already made and throwing it in the oven/microwave. That way you just have to preheat the oven and set the timer. This is effective because seeing how you’re so got damn tired all the time, you don’t really have to think.
Aside from that, in terms of understanding your baby, I strongly recommend you picking up the book called the Wonder Weeks by Frans X. Plooij and Hetty van de Rijt It describes the theory that the cognitive development of babies occurs in predictable jumps. When these leaps happen, based on how old the baby is, determines if it’s a pleasant or unpleasant leap. And brother, it is dead on.
During stormy leaps, your kid can almost act like a completely different person. By reading the book, you can understand why and what it is they are going through to help better understand them. I cannot recommend this book enough.
There’s even an app for it, too.
Big Enough to the new Godzilla trailer is my favorite meme right now.
I’m reading the blog of Ralph Senensky, who’s 94 years old and directed about thousand television episodes between the 50’s and the 80’s. Right now I’m in the four part series about filming the pilot for “Dynasty” (then called “Oil”) in 1980 and firing George Peppard as the lead. He did a lot of Quinn Martin shows. I don’t think I’ve ever seen an episode of “Dynasty,” which I remember as being a “Dallas” rip-off. Actually, the best “Dallas” rip-off was “Fresno” with Carol Burnett, which was a two-part TV movie that was pretty funny. It was about a family of wealthy raisin magnates. The Rolls Royce limo was usually in the shop and they would have to ride in the way-back of a station wagon. Jeez, I gotta find that show. I should get high.
Being chauffeured in the back of the station wagon because the Rolls is in the shop again:
Toddlerzilla currently is obsessed with Katy Perry’s Roar. I gotta admit, it’s a good video
Nooo! Bayern Munich talks with Alphonso Davies has officially stalled. Canada was so close to being a little bit legitimized in lesser footy.
Oh man, given the thirst of the Als’ coaching staff for Manziel, we’re about 2-3 weeks from him being the undisputed starter. Get ready for this, everyone!
In today’s surprisingly good Trumpian policy, Trump is looking to strip security clearances from former CIA director Brennan as well as the following former officials: Comey, Clapper, Hayden, Rice and McCabe. Revoking clearance for a bunch of assholes who are on the board of weapons and defense contractor companies is a good thing.
He is only doing it out of retribution because they are on his personal enemies list. Your over-generalization is typical, but not worth the time to debate.
Oh, Trump’s rationale for taking it away is definitely political and petty. However, from an ethical stand point, it makes sense in closing the revolving door. I’d argue that they shouldn’t be profiting off their public service anyway.
I feel the feds should keep former heads on retainer to consult. Then if they want that sweet revolving door cash, they can pay for their own clearances.
So last night I was trying to explain Voltron to a bunch of people who really weren’t much younger than me. How do these people not know about Voltron?
Were you trying to justify buying the lego kit?
Did you say it was like a cartoon version of Power Rangers, but if they focused primarily on Megazord?
I’m Officially Old Fact: “You Got to Get What You Give” by the New Radicals now has a cover version, and is in a commercial.
Every song by everyone ever now has a cover version that’s a “deconstruction” slowed down to about fifty percent speed with a female vocalist trying to make the lyrics sound as profound and as important as possible.
/I watch far too many CW shows.
What Rikki said. I mean, you’re still old, just not for this particular reason.
I just informed Lady BFC about Tim Tebow’s history with circumcisions. The horrified look on her face almost made it ok that it’s only Monday.
NO MODERATORS EXCEPT FOR A MODERATOR-BOT! WELL, HERE’S A DONKEY SHOW.
OK, that search didn’t turn out how I thought it would.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=3Tyic1d2opY&feature=youtu.be
Just got a post moderated out that didn’t show anything. Oh well, not that funny anyway.
Trust me, there are no moderators. There is some stupid software that picks shit for no reason I can see.
I just “approved” it.
I think we should have voted on it.
It’s the coffee shop one below. I think you would have approved…
DAMN IT! I SAID IT WASN’T THAT FUNNY!
NOW PEOPLE WILL KNOW!
Emma Stone would like a word.
*Not sure what we are arguing about.
Restaurant coworker #1: [hoists shot] “7 years ago, Amy Winehouse left this earth!”
Restaurant coworker #2: “Congratulations on 7 years sober, Amy!”
[raucous laughter]
– end scene –
NICE!!
Fantastic.
Counter-point: Fuck ‘em.
Yep, fuck those dirty birds with a rusty screw driver.
Needs predators.
Arm the drones!
“Don’t tell anyone how I live.”
— Chip Kelly
Um…. still funny.
Found a new coffee shop that has a great atmosphere.
http://www.gifbin.com/bin/112015/kid-knocks-drone-out-of-the-air.gif
In the kids defense, if your flying that low over a sports field, you’re asking for it.
Innovative drone use.
“Yeah, and?” -Will Bales
“WTF??”
-Blair Walsh
Teen Titans Go! to the Movies is getting good reviews?
NO! ITS CAN’T BE! GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?!
Is this the part where us jaded mid-20-somethings bitch about how the original Teen Titans series deserved a better fate?
Yes. I’m glad for voice actors (they’ve earned it), but seriously, that show?! It has its moments, but it shouldn’t overshadow the original series.
YEAH! GO DIRT BENGALS!
Sparano’s football did not get last rites because the Raiders chaplain was away on a mushroom trip.
Thank you
Just got the package, beautiful packing job.
Your shirt is still on the slow boat from China…
BOLTMAN IS ABOVE YOUR MORTAL MONIES! BOLTMAN MAY DIE, BUT HIS LEGACY WILL LIVE ON IN THE BLACKEND HEARTS OF THE VENGEFUL! BOLTMAN WILL SEE THE SPANOS CLAN FALL BY THEIR OWN HANDS BEFORE HIS RAGE IS EXTINGUISHED!
(Yes, that bid was mine. Someday, the blessing will be mine.)
Oh, it was you. For a second I thought the bid was from the LA Chargers or a porn studio and Boltman passed for personal pride reasons.
There was a reserve, I’m guessing that was 100,000. Either dollars or femurs, not too picky.
$100K for a mascot costume? How? Why?
NO-HITTER ALERT on bottom of screen.
Me: “Don’t be against the Reds. Don’t be against the Reds. Don’t be- Of COURSE its against the Reds!”
Yay! I jinxed the Cardinals!
Real or fake tweet?
So you’re saying more Russia indictment ar coming?
Once we reach the post-apocalyptic hellscape, it’ll all be the same
Real.
Which is insane because America literally has Iran surrounded with military bases.
This assured me that the next thing he’s going to propose is compulsory military service.
OWN THE LIBS BY SENDING THEM TO BULLSHIT MEANINGLESS WARS WITHOUT PROPER TRAINING/GEAR/AMMO/etc.
Also, it’s worth mentioning that the last song on that Streetlight Manifesto is the aptly titled “The Big Sleep”. RIP, Tony.
Meanwhile, Eli is thrilled to have a new friend he can play “pretender” with.
https://twitter.com/ben_rosen/status/1021256040795422721
Too bad I don’t know how to Photoshop and Twitter. I could have fun with that.
https://faketrumptweet.com/
Not sure I’m ready for the levels of irony involved in making literal fake news about trump.
In Soviet Russia, looking glass is through you
Follow my battle cry: “If I’m not laughing, I’m crying.”
Wow. Even though I could give two shits about the NFL anymore, I’m genuinely sad about Sparano. We got a lot of mileage out of that buried football over the years.
I sure am glad I was able to get one last buried football joke in before it was too late.
Its okay B-team. We’re Cincinnati. We’re used to forgetting to grab the Championship when its within our grasp.
Fucking Scotty Riggs from out of nowhere
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UBSZew9A4GQ
Reddit can still be good at times. This was spotted in Myrtle Beach:
I wonder if it’s pretty comfortable?
Holy nightmare fuel, Batman.
Who spoke? Why did they listen??