There were games played yesterday and there are observations of players to be made. Here goes:
Case Keenum was presentable. (12 of 18)
AP averaged almost 5.5 ypc. He’s old and tired though-I think he was just happy to see the field.
The Giants pass protection worked for large parts of the game. (that’s what happens when you give ol Flowers reduced responsibility) Eli went 17 of 23 but had at least three drops.
Sam Darnold looks like he might be just good enough to fall just short of Jets fans unreasonable expectations.
Gronk played all of two series and rumour has it (h/t Adele) that all of his bones are still intact. Of course, if he was injured we wouldn’t find out until the season opener.
You may want to bump Stafford up a spot or two in your fantasy rankings. The Lions D is hot garbage and the running game is an embarrassment.
TO THE GAMES!
KC/CHI:
This tilt might get ugly very early-the Bears are resting most of their starters against what should be a lively (I’m watching English soccer as I type this) KC O.
HOU/LAR:
Gurley is a no-go but Goff and Cooks will pitch and catch. Also, JJ Watt will be auditioning for his next injury.
TEN/PIT:
Steelers fans are juiced to see James Washington work as a starter with The Ben alongside wr Brown.
SF/IND:
Expect Jimmy G to have his way with the worst secondary in the league. I’ve no doubt that Old Man Gore (who now plays for Miami) will be yelling at what he thinks are clouds by the end of the game.
Well, there you have it. For any skulkers and/or commentists that took the summer off, drop by and say hello. The more the merrier.
Went to the store today and they were out of cornmeal. Cornmeal. What are you people doing with it all?
hee hee, the safety seal gets me every time
The bigger question is that are YOU doing with cornmeal?
I have never purchased cornmeal in my life.
One of us! One of us! Gooble Gobble!
VACATION DAY DRINKING ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED
http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-OfcZaOCg-5w/Vflq1m8tyjI/AAAAAAABAco/G4CrQkVftDs/s1600/interbike%2Bcleveland.jpeg
abahahaha
Hard to believe Pittsburgh would give away Bubby Brister’s old number 3 just like that. smgdh
Inorite?
– Kordell Stewart
Shit. Brister wore #6. Fail.
It’s okay Bubby Brister is funnier.
Oh look! A bar!
Let’s investigate shall we?
Holy fucking shit. There’s a goddamn weed store that shares a wall with this bar. I fucking love Denver!
If a drug could be developed which instantly neutralizes the effects of THC (for driving purposes), we could have such fantastic hash bars in this country.
How many seasons worth of goodwill did JuJu earn from Stiller fans for that vicious block on Vontaze?
Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee is a slightly different version of “I Got Mine, How Did You Get Yours?”
Does anyone have food? I need food.
I would love to make a mountain of baked ziti for this crew. Such a nice base to drink on.
I doctored-up a leftover taco salad but alas is was small and good so I murdered it entirely with my face hole. Sorry.
Just an aside: If your taco salad is shy on taco meat, diced portabella mushrooms lightly fried in butter and doused with carne asada seasoning (and salt) makes a damn fine substitute/extender.
I went to a neighborhood barbecue that was hosted by the cops and had a hot dog. I met my councilman.
That moment when you look outside and see your elderly mother squirting lighter fluid onto a fire to try to keep it going while your 12 yr old niece looks on while waiting to cook hotdogs.
Yes I’m serious. On my way outside now. Wish me luck.
Hopefully, they’ll both still have eyebrows when I get there.
There’s going to be a ton of shitty tackling on film for CHI & KC defensive coaches to scream about this week.
10:11 am – The Cleveland Browns remove WR Josh Gordon from the Non-Football Injury list, clearing him for all football activity.
2:31 pm – WR Josh Gordon tweaks hamstring during conditioning drills. Cleveland Browns announce he will not participate in the Browns’ final preseason game.
4:20 pm – ahem
From pot to meth: the Josh Gordon story.
Would you want to play for Cleveland.
Perfect mix of ambitious, smart and sexy? I’m going Marlene Dietrich. Second place goes to Tina Fey.
Don’t sleep on Madeline Kahn!
Young Elizabeth Montgomery; Saucy!
I’ll pick Margaret Thatcher.
[Crickets]
Oh so none of you think power is sexy?
Is this Golda Meir or is it Lyndon Johnson in drag?
Either way it’s Hot! Hot! Hot!
Calgarians, nice people, OK drivers, but can’t park for shit. I’ve already witnessed 2 hit and runs and 1 car accident, all involving parking a car
So, what can Oakland expect to get if they decide to trade Mack away? Given the cap and his talent, it must be almost impossible to trade a player of his caliber
Is trading for picks a way to circumvent the cap issue?
I couldn’t see them doing it for anything other than two first-round picks plus change. And it would have to be a shitty team, too, not like the Patriots or something whose first-round picks are basically second-rounders.
Remember when China’s Prime Minister/President/Whatever decided there would be no need for further elections and effectively made himself dictator for life?
[remembers]
-Pepperidge Farm
If he believes in dynastic rule, he’s going to be very disappointed in what should happen to the Communist dynasty, assuming 2500 years of history remains consistent
My secret ingredient for next-level Texas chili? Beans. Lot’s and lot’s of beans.
[runs away laughing]
[inspires three separate mass shooting incidents]
I think that the next time I’m in California, I’m going to try to get Jaime Pressly to marry me.
And by that, I totally don’t mean I’m gonna stalk her. Well, not again, anyway.
Having a small, tight, cute bum doesn’t mean anything.*
*it actually means everything GAH!
NC native plus she gotz that sweet sweet sitcom moneh!!!!
She’s perfect for me.
But yeah, nice tushy too.
Duquesne plays UMass to kick off college football, on something called the Eleven network, at 430 DFO time
Greetings from Denver! It’s fucking warm out there.
WhyTF is everybody in Denver this weekend?
You’re not in Denver?
I wasn’t invited.
Plus, I’m not allowed back in Denver.
This seems not terribly coincidental maybe.
/books flight to Boulder
Fuck you guys.
😛
Be very, very quiet. We’re hunting Moose.
Rocks and Cards tonight.
A. Reid: “What the hell happened on that play?”
O.C.: “Mahomes overthrew the receiver.”
A. Reid: “Back in my day, Alex Smith would never overthrow a receiver!”
O.C.: “We live in interesting times, Coach.”
Anyone have any insight into why Kerryon Johnson was an an afterthought in the Liouns gameplan last night? Does he already have the starting job so locked up that they rested him, or is Detroit really going with a Blount/Riddick/Abdullah 3-headed committee?
Are you onto him because you’re in a dynasty league?
[deploys patented smoke bomb at own feet]
[vanishes]
/ yes, he looked very good vs OAK
https://youtu.be/oeDa4UagrYs
If you feel he’s got talent, draft him and wait for him to overtake his competition.
I’ve been playing fantasy for quite some time so my two examples may/may not be relevant.
I drafted Clinton Portis way late but I was convinced he’d win the job (it happened in week 5) I still recall guys saying, “who?” and laughing.
I drafted Chris Johnson in the 12th knowing that he was eventually going to send LenDale White to the bench.
/I usually swing for the fences and pick a guy one year too early but those guys worked out
My money league is 4 keepers and individual defensive players (which I voted against), and our bench is as long as our goddamn roster, so half the talent in the league rots on the benches. So I’m forced to figure things out early and take chances. I landed Zeke, but anyone would’ve grabbed him. I’m holding out hope on Joe Mixon, because I’ve seen how well he caught passes in teh college. Evan Silva of Rotoworld made the point that RBBCs make your offense predictable, and I agree. If you have a 3-down back, you should develop him, and that’s why I was surprised to see them fucking around with Blount and Abdullah last night. But you’re right, ultimately it’ll make it easier to get him, since now NOBODY will be talking about him before our draft.
Yeah, Johnson will bring dynamism and flexibility to the rb position. (qualities that Blount and Ameer don’t have) He’ll win out eventually.
When it comes to Kerryon, one should think inside the box.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-oGpz8gj8o
Players seem a bit fuzzy. Should I get my eyes checked or get a bigger television? It’s the age-old quandary.
yes
Done and done.
[Insert Trent Green joke here.]
/Exceprt from the commentist manual.
Bears up 14-7. They don’t call me Nostrafuckup for nothing.
Notice how smooth I was covering up for the fact that I thought Gore was still with Indy? Brackets are a game-changer.
Hyde to Cleveland and McKinnon to SF both surprised me.
Did you guys know General Franco is no longer in charge of Cuba?
Che Guevara was king of Cuba. Everyone knows that. Nice try.
Of course Kate MacKinnon went to SF. She likes other girls.
Dammit. I wanted to see what Anthony Miller and Trey Burton look like vs the KC ones.
FIRST!