Your Saturday Morning Lesser Footy Open Thread

litre_cola

litre_cola

Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia.
litre_cola

Latest posts by litre_cola (see all)

Hi there commentists I hope you’re not too hungover today. Sadly, I will miss this week’s action as I’ll be driving 9 hours to a lakeside cabin in the mountains. That being said it’s so smoky from the forest wildfires that we won’t be able to see much. Also, I’m not allowed to swim in the lake due to a procedure I had this week. This procedure was relatively painless but I’m weeded and pilled up right now because my loins are very sore. While lying there having my boys taken care of  I did have questions concerning this whole operation.

The nurse came in after the doctor had pinned down my sack and covered the rest up.

Sidebar>>>There is a “thing” that went on in the south of my home province where  Hutterite colonies would advertise in the local paper for someone to stud their young ladies for 50 bucks and some eggs (seriously). During the “studding” there would be a sheet over the lass with a hole in it and dad sitting in the room with you during the proceedings. Well the hole was over my sack so the Dr and nurse could work their magic.

Back to the sack nurse, I have questions.

Did she strive to be this type of nurse? It certainly is a stress free workplace in comparison to an emergency room. It was stressful for me.

How does she treat other sacks in her private life? If she is a lesbian I totally get it sacks are weird.

Does she get paid more to be this type of nurse?

Does she have a sewing hobby at work or does she leave her job at the door when she is done?

I got a few answers from Mrs. Cola who works in the health industry. Apparently all nurses in this province are paid the same amount regardless of where they work as they are in a union. The reason that she would choose to work there is no stress and Monday to Friday and Friday is a half day at this facility.

Enough about that, on to the games!

The Bundesliga started yesterday and that means everyone is going now. Will Bayern run away with it again? Probably as they got many referee gifts yesterday against Hoffenheim in the season opener. This league is growing in influence over here as there are many Americans playing there, including Christian Pulsilic who is the future of the USMNT. If you ever get the chance to go to Allianz Arena in Munich, take it as it is truly an amazing experience. I went to a Champions League game against Club Brugge during Oktoberfest in 2005. The game started at 845 pm so the majority of people in the stadium were absolutely trashed, it was sublime. My ticket ended up being in the Bayern Ultras end where the guys next to me gave me a song-sheet and bought me beer! At this time regular strength beer was still available for consumption in some countries.

Ligue 1 is 2 weeks deep and would you look at that PSG is in 1st.

Today in Serie A has two great matchups with Juventus taking on Lazio and Napoli v Milan. I hate to say it but I know that I’ll be watching Juve games this year due to pretty boy Ronaldo. The guy is supremely talented and the game changes when Ronaldo is in it.

In Scotland, Hearts is in first after a victory over Celtic. Take that you bastards!

BATE Borisov is running away with Belarus 17 games into their season.

I had to do a Belarus update, I am not messing with these guys

Belgium is 4 games in and Anderlecht is undefeated followed closely behind by Genk and Club Brugge.

Young Boys are undefeated in Switzerland and have opened up a 5 point gap with Basel. Could we see Young Boys in Europe? Many would travel from abroad to see Young Boys play in Europe.

In England today’s matchups are as follows,

In the early game Man City visits Wolves at Molineaux. Wolves haven’t really had the start they were looking for and you would think the mercenaries from Citeh will put them to the sword.

In the middle games Everton visits Bournemouth  (A DFO DERBY!) which should be a cracker as both of these clubs have to be pleased with their starts, especially Bournemouth. Hippo is never happy so he will tell you that the Toffees have dropped easy points already. Yeah Right will know that with a victory the Cherries will be well on their way to safety.

London Derby alert! West Ham visits the Emirates where I am sure if they win a lot of those fickle fans will be wanting Wenger back. He is a bit busy getting awards in Liberia. I could definitely live in a world where both of the clubs have 1 pt after 3 weeks.

Cardiff visits Huddersfield Town and Neil Warnock can continue to pleasure himself with a rusty spanner.

In the I give 0 fucks category we next have Southampton hosting Leicester.

The late game is going to be a good one as Liverpool welcomes Brighton to Anfield. I’m upset that I’m missing this and would love to take a pit stop to watch it. The Reds have looked superb thus far and made their wins look very easy. I thought that they might take a step back but a lot of their players only played three games at the World Cup so they aren’t starting their season on empty. The Seagulls gave us all a gift last week when they took out Man U in an icedibly entertaining game.

I am absolutely terrible at fantasy football for the Premier League. It is embarrassing.

 

 

litre_cola
litre_cola
A pugs best friend. Wine drinker. Loves to use the letter U behind O. Iggles fan, Fulham FC supporter. Bartend as a hobby in Canadia. One of the resident futbol freaks at the clubhouse
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ballsofsteelandfury

Atlético is stacked this year. I’m thinking they give Barça a run for the title.

scotchnaut

The NFL thread is open for business.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Good morning folks! Last night’s stuffed pork tenderloin was a success! It wasn’t as pretty as the picture (the cheese didn’t stay put the way I wanted it to; not sure what can be done in that regard) but it tasted delicious.

scotchnaut

“[makes wanking motion] Yeah, yeah. What are you drinking?”

-Commentists

scotchnaut

Siggy with a little too much stardust on that last kick.

scotchnaut

With Michael Keane out you can just forget abut that Spinal Tap reunion tour.

Wakezilla

“Well the hole was over my sack so the Dr and nurse could work their magic.”

So, who gave better head?

scotchnaut

Keane not looking good at all.

King Hippo

Keane rhymes with Trent Green!

scotchnaut

I think he was out before he hit the ground.

King Hippo

yeah, was rather nasty

King Hippo

SIGH. Goddamnit. I debated between 2-2 and 1-1 in Prediction League, of course went with the latter.

scotchnaut

Umm, at least the game is exciting?

scotchnaut

Hippo, did Pickford come up thru the Everton ranks?

King Hippo

nae, bought from Sunderland when they went down

scotchnaut

Well, look at you Everton!

King Hippo

they done pissed us off

King Hippo

have a 2nd, Mighty Blues!

King Hippo

the cunt who got Richarlison sent off has been Karmically sent off hisself!

King Hippo

THEO!!!!!

ballsofsteelandfury

/ opens eyes
// gets eye boogers out
/// looks around
WHERE IS THE LA LIGA COVERAGE!?!
//// farts
///// goes back to sleep

King Hippo

even La Liga fans only care about Champions League ,, ppl forget that

Wakezilla

Hot taek: La Liga is only good when Hijos de Batman are legitimate contenders for the title. They aren’t so, no coverage!

yeah right

Hello LAX. When did it become a thing for these fucking infants to bring their fucking dogs to the airport.
Jesus man if you’re that delicate maybe you shouldn’t leave the fucking house.

King Hippo

THIS!!!!!

/also your gameplan for Richarlison was very clever but I will bitch mightily as the cunts of the Prem copy it.

scotchnaut

That kid for Bourne looks like he’s 17!

King Hippo

thank you Lesser BLEERGH

King Hippo

Cherries well on the front foot last 5-7 minutes

scotchnaut

That Bourney player just doesn’t like open nets I suppose.

King Hippo

watching over hotel breakfast in Eastern Colorado! Proper top of the table clash, this.

scotchnaut

In-room hotel brekkie is so expensive but it’s one of life’s greatest joys.

/pass the baby ketchup bottle

King Hippo

cheap hotel, so naturally breakfast is free (and pretty decent)

scotchnaut

Damn it! Who put that crossbar there?

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

[First Date]
ME: I prepared some questions to get to know you
HER: Ok!
ME: What’s the capital of Honduras?
HER: um…
ME:[writing] bad at geo-

Wakezilla

That is funny.

On a related note, the capital of Honduras is a hard city to remember. Like, I know at least 3 names of Honduran cities and not one is the capital.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tegulcigalpa!

/thank you, Great Cornholio.

yeah right

Cherries for life!

scotchnaut

Man City has missed at least 5 chances so far.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Have you ever got up at 5:00AM and got to the airport at 6:15AM for a 7:30AM flight only to get to the gate and realize that your flight is actually at 7:30PM? No? You never have?

Sometimes I wonder if I’m an undiagnosed part-time retard.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hell man, I wish I was undiagnosed.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not knowing is half the battle.

yeah right

My flight’s at 8:50 and I’m not even caffeinated yet. A little coffee first to help move the morning mail.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

That’s better than the other way like one of my loser friends did.