Your “Does It Mean More Bye Weeks Too?” Tuesday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

NFL News:

  • Shane Doan needs a nametag.

    Larry Fitzgerald is one of three Arizona sports stars to be a part of John McCain’s funeral & final “fuck you” to Donald Trump.

    • Fitty going to be speaking at the service, and former Diamondback Luis Gonzalez & former Coyote Shane Doan will be pallbearers.
      • He has spent years working with politicians like McCain on his various charity projects, and actually seems to be the rare athlete who knows the politicians he meets & lobbies.
        • FYI – you want something affirming in your life today, read Fitty’s blog. Yes, it’s a managed site, but it genuinely seems to be about him & his beliefs.
  • Jerry Jones has again raised the spectre of the 18-game season as a way to help avoid the lengthy preseason & commensurate injuries that accompany.
    • League toady & PFT word vomiter Mike Florio contends the real reason is not “player safety” but “more revenue” from newly legalized gambling.
      • He was at least kind enough to include some math:
        • If Jerry Jones estimates the League could make a billion dollars off those extra two weeks, everyone should get a taste.
        • At 53 players per roster, the league has 1,696 players. An extra billion dollars for those 1,696 players works out to, on average, another $589,622 per player per year. For 32 teams, it translates to another $31.25 million per owner per year.
  • Dez Bryant is tacitly admitting it might be smarter for him to wait until the season starts before signing with a new team.
    • He figures he can take advantage of a team in need, and he’ll be better able to pick a situation that might lead him deep into the playoffs.

Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Blue Jays at Orioles – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
  • U.S. Open Tennis:
    • First Round – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN
  • WNBA Playoffs:
    • Washington Mystics at Atlanta Dream – 8:00PM | ESPN2
    • Phoenix Mercury at Seattle Storm – 10:00PM | ESPN2
  • WWE:
    • Smackdown Live! – 8:00PM | USA / Sportsnet360

It’s a slow day on TV, what with Thursday being the final preseason games. Thanks to the new collective agreement, cutdown day is next Monday. NO HAPPY LABOR DAY FOR THEM!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.

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theeWeeBabySeamusBrick MeathookBrettFavresColonoscopySenor WeaseloALXMAC Recent comment authors
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BrettFavresColonoscopy

:clears throat:

This week has already been brutal.

That will be all.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

We are less than 24 hours from tWBS drafting Jason Witten in the 10th round

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What a dumbass. I’m going to take Jay Novacek.

Senor Weaselo

First pick, Air McNair motherfuckaz!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I got Aaron Hernandez

theeWeeBabySeamus

This comment made me laugh. I’m really sorry I didn’t see it last night.

Senor Weaselo

I live on a busy street, so people like to throw their empty bottles and chip bags on the sidewalk grass. Here is my message to those people.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Sucks when the County Sheriff calls late at night to let you know some asshole has driven through your fence. At least I am sober and could drive out to make sure no cattle could get on the highway.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

This has happened twice at our house. The first time it shaved off some of the stone on the front porch, the second crushed our neighbor’s garbage can.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

nice! padres get the win!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Before added equipment; lift kit and bigger wheels.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Tonight’s dinner was a panini made from the leftover stuffed pork tenderloin, proscuitto, cheddar, and freshly roasted green chilis. It was goddamed delicious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I feel bad now that I just noticed but @Beerguyrob had some great tags for this post

King Hippo

misspelled Canadia tho

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ballsofsteelandfury

I don’t understand why this gif doesn’t have more likes.

Are you people gay or something? Not that there’s anything wrong with that. I’ll have to start my third installment of underwear reviews…

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Prolly ’cause I posted a similar one before?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

He beat that coverage worse than he beat his baby momma

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s good; wanted a Raiders cut, but forgot it was that asshole.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Close enough.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve been back from my last jaunt to California for almost a month.
I’ve still got my suitcase sitting in my floor with half my shit still in it.
That’s kinda fucked up, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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No.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice of you to lie, but yes it is.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Did you use all the close up that were packed? Why put shit away twice? If you brought some booze back and it is still in the suitcase, now that’s all kinds of fucked up.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ve washed the stuff taken out. Several times, actually.
The rest is just sitting there in the floor still.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

At least you didn’t put the washed ones back in the case.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Have you tripped over it yet? That is what usually makes me put it aw…..OK, just move it, but still.

rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:

What they say:

Hi I’m Brandon. This is Liz and Steven.

What I remember:

Hi I’m BLERPBLAP. This is GLAUNGH and CRAIG or maybe GREG.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Blerpblap is the name of my dead brother. Thank you for mocking him.

WCS

What a coincidence!

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Thanks Obama!!

King Hippo

I feel like we don’t say “Fuck You, Florida” enough, but I really look forward to the day when AZ, NC, and/or TX drift leftward enough that one can never care about that backwards, shitwater, hellhole of a state ever again.

/except for Odd Week Jaguras, you still cool
\
//will be Fulham Jaguras soon enough

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

I’m glad Ohio is stuck in a time vortex that keeps it 10-20 years behind everyone else. It keeps us from being blamed for everything.

King Hippo

yeah, hard to have a strong opinion re Ohio. It’s just kind of there.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Hello there from Wichita. Yes, we’re still here:

Redshirt

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

SWAG-uars I mean come on.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

Name 5 more iconic electric fiddle performances. You can’t.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Does this count?

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

Well EXCUUUUUUSSSE ME for not knowing the difference between a violin and a fiddle:

herodotus450
herodotus450

Stradivarius gonna fuck you up bro
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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ALXMAC
ALXMAC

I was going to watch that “Red Violin” movie when it came out because it had Samuel L. Jackson in it but that was 20 years ago. Still haven’t seen it.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Never heard of it, but I assume it went something like this:

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

King Hippo

weren’t there too many goddamned snakes in that goddamned fiddle?

theeWeeBabySeamus

This happens to be one of my favourite pieces of music in EVAR!!!!!!
Thank you ALXMAC

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

We lost him too soon. He should’ve been committed until he was cleaned and had someone watching him all the time to keep him on the straight and narrow.

You know, the Robert Downey Jr. Treatment.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

And from my favorite (sic) movie EVAR!!! WE’RE TWINSIES!!!!!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

I try to re-watch it once a year.
Great flick.

ALXMAC
ALXMAC

The final 15 or so mins of the movie are what elevates it to my favorite. The cinematography, acting, story, and music all lead to the best final act of anything I’ve ever seen.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Agreed.

When they’re chasing Magua up the mountain, and the music builds….?

Nothing better.

I think I need to watch it tonight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Magua (Wes Studi) makes that movie. He’s been good in everything I’ve seen him in. Russel Means was good to.

WCS

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Punishment fits the crime.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

I almost got out. Almost.
So close.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

This is the song playing while you google Jamie Pressly and find out she’s married

theeWeeBabySeamus

She’s not currently married.
And I could take her live in boyfriend out very easily.

But yeah, something like that nonetheless.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

She is a good poisoning away from being single and in need of cheering up.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I was thinking a stabbing and dismemberment, but your idea might be better.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And actually, the BFS song “Almost” I posted above is in reference to me almost getting out of NC and to California.

I was so close. But now I don’t think it’ll ever happen. Not while I’m still young enough to give a shit, anyway.

herodotus450
herodotus450

So you’re saying there’s a chance…
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theeWeeBabySeamus

No.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I’m at her house right now if you want me to give her a message, as soon as she’s done folding my clothes.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Tell her I say “Hi”.
She’ll still know what it means.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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“See the war on christmas is real, ppple.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

This reminds me of an old joke.
But it’s not a good joke so, never mind.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Fish Balls.

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

I’m still here and on vacation!

Now i’m finally ready to go home.

Well done Denver. Well fucking done.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

There’s a kid in the street in front of my apartment doing tricks on his skateboard while wearing purple camo pants. I don’t usually stereotype folks, but, I feel like my chances of being stabbed have gone up significantly.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

One of these days, he’ll find this car, and feel like that for one brief moment

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

Is he screaming incoherently, and dancing like he’s having a seizure?

Low Commander of the Super Soldiers

No, but by the sounds of his “skateboarding” he sounds rather uncoordinated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

If you having any steps or railings, get some popcorn, go the window and wait.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey!!! As a proud Baltimore native I think you’re being too judgemental.

But yeah, lock your doors just in case.

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scotchnaut

You ever had one of your fave songs blossom into much more meaning that you originally ascribed it to?

scotchnaut

“But he’ll find his way … by the morning light.” kills me every time. No matter how bleak things seem to be-there’s a way through.

King Hippo

until they’s not

yeah right

That’s a great song.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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theeWeeBabySeamus

theeWeeBabySeamus

Also, I’ve met Shane Doan. Pretty good guy as best I can tell.

scotchnaut

“Maybe some wide receiver will get injured early in the season. Then I might, maybe, get a contract.”

-Opening dialogue from Dez’s new play, “The Ego Has Landed”

Redshirt

https://www.cincinnati.com/story/sports/nfl/bengals/2018/08/28/carlos-dunlap-geno-atkins-ink-extensions-bengals/1125092002/

I’m apparently having a lucid dream because there’s no way in Heaven, Hell and this Cursed, Damned Earth that the Bengals got both Dunlap and Atkins to re-sign on the same day. Should I go flying like an eagle or should I summon a harem of women to service my every imaginable desire? Maybe even a guy or two. What the hell its a dream, it doesn’t count.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Look like they couldn’t find a Phoenix Sun to also be a pallbearer for McCain; no problem, they’ll just swing by a Home Depot on the way to the cemetery and pick up a replacement.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

Earlier today, as my mother is frantically pushing buttons on the “TV remote control”….

Mom: I hate this TV, why won’t the channel change?
Me: *sigh* That’s the telephone, Mom.

(I swear to god, this is not made up)

*sigh*

/says goodbye to any thoughts of moving to California anytime soon

Redshirt

Not just you.

/ Yesterday morning; Mom banged on my bedroom window, I run outside expecting Dad to be keeled over dead or the deck on fire.

Mom: “I can’t find the vacuum thingy to the pool hose!”
Me: “I don’t know where it is. I didn’t use it last.”
Mom: “I can’t find the vacumm thingy to the pool hose!”
Me: “Where did you put it last?”
Mom: “I put it with the hose when I wrapped it up over the pool.”
Me: “Did it fall into the pool when you unwrapped the hose.”
Mom: “No, I looked.”
Me: “What’s that in the center of the pool.”
Mom: “The vacuum thingy.”

I can never move out to start my life. My parents and deadbeat brother have become my children.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yep, that sounds about like what I’ve got going on.

But at least you have a pool.

😛

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

One that gets cleaned too, from the sound of it.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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yeah right

I’ve got a pond.

Game Time Decision

why dirty the pitcher?