Your “I’m Tired Of Waiting” Sunday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

It’s a holiday weekend in Canada, and I’ve got nothing much to say because I may or may not be casually liquored.


There’s a smorgasbord of everything tonight.

Tonight’s sports:

  • NCAA:
    • Miami vs. LSU – 7:30PM | ABC / TSN3
      • from Jerry World, Arlington, TX
  • MLB:
    • Angels at Astros – 8:00PM | ESPN / TSN5
  • NASCAR:
    • Bojangles’ Southern 500 – 6:00PM | NBCSN
  • MLS:
    • D.C. United vs. Atlanta United – 7:30PM | FS1 / TSN2

Just one more week, and our Sundays are again filled with the gloriousness of football, the ridiculousness of the officiating calls, and the national disgracefulness of Roger Goodell. I CAN’T WAIT!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Col. Duke LaCross

When did LSU hire Farmer Fran?

WCS

I’m no Da U fan, but, that was a facemask. Defender twisted the quarterback’s head like a bottle lid.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I think I’ve had enough laundry for a few months

herodotus450
herodotus450

[ignores recent Miami scoring]
These Hurricanes are so inept they probably couldn’t even beat Puerto Rico.

WCS

/Don T sheds a tear

herodotus450
herodotus450

Miami gets to within half!

herodotus450
herodotus450

Col. Duke LaCross

I don’t know what she was saying, but she was making a lot of sense.

Senor Weaselo

Ooh, missed that first shift. And what is tempo?

King Hippo

so this “Mayans” show is “Sons of Anarchy” with brown ppl, right? And I thought the white version was soap opera-ish and silly.

/of course, all teh WRITERS will still be white, let’s not get crazy here

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bubba Baxa PAT upcoming!!!!!
(daU still sucks, however)

Horatio Cornblower

Enough of this blowout. Back to season 2 of Ozark

King Hippo

I worry this will be hard for me to fit in amongst the footbaw and the HAIL GAMBLOR. But I LOVE that show.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Miami is currently “ranked” 8, LSU 25. But whats the chance that LSU will actually be ranked higher than Miami after this game?

Horatio Cornblower

0/0

WCS

Divide the equation by zero, and there’s your answer.

Redshirt

I’ll say 17 LSU and 18 Miami. That’s usually what the pollsters do when a 25 embarrasses an 8; rewards the winner but gives the loser a chance to redeem themselves.

WCS

Somehow, WVU will drop to 23rd or some shit.

theeWeeBabySeamus

When they win in Raleigh they’ll drop out completely.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I want moar Bubba Baxa!!!!!!

Redshirt

THESE LSU TIGERS, I CALL THEM AN AREA OF COOL WATER BECAUSE THEY ARE KILLING THE HURRICANES!!!

WCS

Oh, that’s good. Banner worthy.

WCS

This has gone from a blowout to a snuff film.

Horatio Cornblower

/pauses with hand down pants

SO!?

Redshirt

YES! Go LSU!

I don’t like the SEC, but I don’t like Miami-FL more from them whining about the Ohio State title win of 2002.

“Wah! Wah! That wasn’t pass interference! That wasn’t pass interference!” “Oh, yeah? Well if you were as good as you and everyone else thought you were, you shouldn’t have allowed that game to go to OT!”

herodotus450
herodotus450

TURNOVER POT OF GUMBO!!

Wakezilla

Men and ladies, I have thrown out my back. Aside from time, what are your suggestions to get some functionality back? I’m desperate.

Annnnnnd Go!

WCS

Alcohol and Hippo pills.

/seriously, get to a chiropractor

Redshirt

Happens to me all the time. Heating pad and rest to give the muscles a chance to recover and heal. Get a backbrace to wear for the next few days to support your muscles as they recover.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This.

Horatio Cornblower

Increase your deadlift weight. Ignore form, just jerk that shit right up there.

(in reality, in addition to rest and heat, I’d recommend acupuncture. Damned if I know why it works, but it do)

King Hippo

pills, pills, and MOAR pills. A good muscle relaxer should be part of that. Get a good ortho-whatchamacallit doctor. The practice will be “Blah Blah Ortho and Spine Specialists.”

Also, buy a really good neck pillow and the biggest, fanciest heating pad Target and/or Amazon has on offer.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Hey, Miami…remember when a Mark Richt coached UGa team only managed to score 7 points and lost to a 3-9 GT team in 2015? Then he got canned and you dumbasses hired him?

herodotus450
herodotus450

HA. Miami guy pushes the LSU lineman down from behind after the whistle, injures himself in the process.

King Hippo

let’s just say the Coastal is “VPI’s to lose”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah. That division is warmed over ass, fo’ sho’.

King Hippo

I guess Duke will also break .500. So there’s that.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Miami’s O-line is…well…let’s call it learning impaired.

Redshirt

Inspirational like Forrest Gump or danger to society like Trump’s core voters?

King Hippo

OH GOD, EZU did indeed lose to A&T. Now please let them still beat U*NC

theeWeeBabySeamus

OH shit, I never checked for the final score.
Yay!!!!

Why don’t we ever play them in years when they suck?

King Hippo

We do, just still lose (they went 2-10 last time they beat us)

theeWeeBabySeamus

I had forgotten that.
Thanks for the reminder….
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King Hippo

why would LSU consider going for it there?

because they CAN…

yeah right

Can we euthanize Alex Rodriguez for the good of all mankind?

Please?

The Maestro

As a Red Sox fan, I heartily endorse this idea.

Horatio Cornblower

As a Yankee fan, I oppose this, but not in a really strenuous way. It’s not like I’m gonna get off the couch about it or anything.

King Hippo

shameless ploy to get Jessica Mendoza to smile at you

herodotus450
herodotus450

Would it have killed them to schedule a second game for tonight?

King Hippo

these guys are so fucking stupid

theeWeeBabySeamus

Ray Lewis is shining up his knife as we speak.

WCS

BUT MARK RICHT HAS THEM PLAYING THE RIGHT WAY

theeWeeBabySeamus

How is it not halftime yet?

theeWeeBabySeamus

Independence Bowl rematch forthcoming?

WCS

This is shaping up more like the 2005 Peach Bowl, which, I sadly remember. Vividly.

theeWeeBabySeamus

They might both make the Belk.
Hehehehe…Charlotte is so funny.

WCS

Folks… I’m starting to think Tha U might be a bit overrated…

herodotus450
herodotus450

But THa CHAIN!

King Hippo

Vegas knows best, and the spread was a manageable +3-3.5 (+148 ML, at which I bet LSU, and should have heavier).

Voters always believe FL and TX sides are magically good.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m betting Richt wishes he had bet heavier too.

The Maestro

Remember last year when everyone thought The U was back? That sure is funny now in retrospect.

herodotus450
herodotus450

I can’t wait for Miami’s season implosion to be conveniently forgotten when assessing LSU’s schedule later in the year.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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The Maestro

Achewood remains one of the greatest works of art of the Internet era.

King Hippo

I only know of it due to DFO, and Brick deserves Sainthood

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

herodotus450 turned me on to it in a link here on DFO about the old poker site we had, less than a year ago. I had never heard of it before (which shocked me) and I read practically the entire strip on line. I’ve since bought all the books too.

So herodotus450 is the real saint here. I just post them.

theeWeeBabySeamus

OK, my one armed mom (she injured her arm/hand and had surgery for it on Thursday) is wigged out on pain pills and decided to fire up the kitchen and start trying to cook a buncha shit tonight without telling me.

Holy shit, if I survive the next week it will be a freaking miracle.

WCS

Pain pills?

SEND UP THE HIPPO SIGNAL

theeWeeBabySeamus

I haven’t stolen any yet. Honest.
But if I start to smell smoke, I’m downing the whole bottle.

King Hippo

Miami still Miami.

herodotus450
herodotus450

LSU isn’t even trying to fool the ncaa with this one
https://sports.yahoo.com/ncaaf/players/250976/

WCS

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WCS

What conference is this officiating crew from? I’d say Big 12, but, I don’t recognize the ref. Mountain West?

theeWeeBabySeamus

It’s Big 12

WCS

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Naturally.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I haven’t seen a Michael Jackson grab loose balls then run that quickly since….
Well, 2008 I think?

King Hippo

That…wasn’t particularly close, reffies

theeWeeBabySeamus

Definite incompletion.
This crew kinda sucks.

WCS

I just realized that if Michael Irvin is at this game, we’re definitely going to see Stabby, aren’t we?

Shit.

scotchnaut

Bubba Baxa is the latest silly name that I’ll make fun of now and promptly forget about very shortly from now.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bubba Baxa.

I’m sorry, but that’s a fucking funny name.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Almost as good as Turd Ferguson.

King Hippo

LSU has a non-Cajun PK. From Taxachusetts! The apocalypse is truly nigh.

WCS

Da U goes and makes two great plays, and immediately spoils it by showing Michael “No Cocaine Is Enough” Irvin being a dipshit on the sideline.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’ll be at least mildly surprised if there’s no brawl in this game.

scotchnaut

My auction draft was yesterday-I spent 3 and a half hours in direct sunlight. I am a lobster today. Fuck.

theeWeeBabySeamus

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herodotus450
herodotus450

It wasn’t a scotchnaut, it was a scotchnaut lobster!

scotchnaut

You’re such a silly goose.

King Hippo

Really nice fat guy play by the Bayou Bengal OL to pancake the fumble recoverer and re-loosen the ball.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m still wondering how there was no targeting call.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Bada Bing.
Suck it, ‘Canes.

King Hippo

ask and ye shall receive

/I put $55 on LSU, so…WOO?

//but HATE that rule

theeWeeBabySeamus

I do too. But if they’re gonna have it… dot, dot, dot.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Chargers resigned Antonio Gates? The long arm of the AARP strikes again…

WCS

Donks waive Paxxxxxdtonn. I’m sure Hippo and Moose are heartbroken.

King Hippo

Hippo shall enjoy an extra pill now!

/have to hit the road at like 5:15am for fantasy auction

yeah right

Today I grilled some pork chops and pineapple. Cubed up the grilled pineapple for serrano, red onion salsa and it was beautiful.

I was a little out of sync for a moment until I realized I wasn’t taking photos while I was cooking.

That was nice!

Col. Duke LaCross

yeah right

The original.

Who has tickets and edibles and is going to see this band in 3 days.
This here motherfucker.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Besides the spelling, do you know what else is the difference between the Labor/Labour Day holiday between the United States and Canada?

ANSWER: Nuclear weapons and the death penalty! USA! USA! USA!

-Brick “Dual Citizen” Meathook

King Hippo

Dave Foley explained it best, a Canadian is kind of like an American “but without a gun.”

scotchnaut

Obligatory?