[DOOR FLIES OPEN]

"This site goes down so often we oughta change the name to “Dating Nancy Reagan”" – Horatio

Log In

Of Blackouts and… Watford? WTF! Fútbol AM Open Thread

Don T

/

We’re into Matchday 5 of the English Premier League, 4 for La Liga. However, a premium channel tier dispute between DirecTV and beIn Sports has taken La Liga broadcasts off my TV. Since beIn is from the Al Jazeera group, I’ll irresponsibly declare that this smells like protectionist crap. But you never know what lurks behind disputes between giant telecom corps. Behind the first two layers of greed, I mean.

Here are the games in Spain, for those resolute enough to find a stream.

La Liga – All times Central

Atlético Madrid vs. Eibar – 6:00 AM

Being up this early should involve a beach or intimacy. It’s a Saturday dammit!

Real Sociedad vs. Barcelona – 9:15 AM

Today Messi is back from a 14-day break, after skipping the Argentina friendlies during last week’s international break. All he’s done in the first three games is score four goals and have two assists. Barcelona hosts a Champions League game on Tuesday against PSV Eindhoven, which bodes well for substitutions drama.

Valencia vs Real Betis – 11:30 AM

I don’t mind much being blacked out from this game. Instead, I’ll tell you how to pass the time during a blackout. Since there’s little to do, keep things lively by picking at old emotional scars.

Athletic Bilbao vs Fucken Real Madrid

Bale and Benzema have scored seven goals with one assist in their first three games. Meanwhile in Italy,

Via depor.com / postimages.org

In yet another instance of woeful underuse of Backpack in a scene. For shame.

EPL – All times Central

Tottenham Hotspur vs Liverpool – 6:30 AM  NBC Sports

This will be a dynamite game. On the other hand,

Man City vs Fulham – 9:00 AM NBC Sports

Fulham’s scored six goals in its last two games. Man City should not score more than three, by halftime.

The rest of the 9:00 AM window:

Bournemouth vs Leicester City

The Cherries are sixth on the table right now, and have scored 1.75 goals per game. Lester is in full midtable form, being beat by Chelsea and Liverpoool, and defeating Soton and Wolves.  Cromulence ahoy!

Newcastle vs Arsenal

Two teams supposed to be good, both are capable of even worse.

Chelski vs Cardiff City

Chelsea has been world beaters since the addition of new manager Maurizio Sarri and Rasputin soup to the dining room’s menu.

Via @RealSardonicus + postimages.com

Huddersfield vs Crystal Palace

The Huds have two goals in four games and relegation written all over. This game is the packing peanuts for the paid channel package.

Watord vs ManUre – 1230 AM NBC

Watford defeated Spurs in their last game and are a perfect 12 out of 12 points on the year–with a very respectable +6 in goal difference. Jose Mourinho has been the top whiner this season. I already bought his going away cake:

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Tags:

Leave a Reply

Subscribe
Notify of
194 Comments
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments
Bogdanski

Ha! BYU has a receiver named Romney. He’s clearly related as his first name is Gunner and he ain’t Swedish.

0
King Hippo

JV thread be live, y’all

0
Wakezilla

tWBS: My money has flown out the door due to in-laws, but aren’t rednecks. At time like right now where my money is tight, it’d be nice to get that money back*

*knows I won’t see a penny, but still

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Man, it sure is nice being functionally estranged from my family. And if *I’m* the one who ever needs money, I’ve got the folks here to hit up!

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

Paypals RTD one whole dollar.

1
scotchnaut

These Dr. Ho Pain Therapy System gak-mmercials are beginning to annoy me.

0
LemonJello

Is that just a re-branded Dr. Tran’s Secret Police Interrogation Kit?

1
scotchnaut

I consulted my Magic 8 ball and the response was, “Get A Fucking Job, Shit Head!” So, if you could parse that out for me I’d greatly appreciate it.

0
theeWeeBabySeamus

So, anyone else’s money flying out the door for your redneck relatives who made bad choices?

Just me then??????

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLuZjpxmsZQ

0
herodotus450

But have you seen George Carlin… through a stargate?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FVVo036N9OY

0
ArmedandHammered

Just do what I do, give them the bail bondsman’s name.

1
LemonJello

My money is flying out the door for my own bad choices, so there’s nothing left for redneck relatives.

0
scotchnaut

Little Known Fact: The Carrier Dome is named after the guy that invented carrying things-hence “Carrier”. Before his Eureka! moment people simply pushed things along the ground like a bunch of stupid dung beetles.

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
theeWeeBabySeamus

I like her attitude.

2
King Hippo

Organizational fodder September callup guy giving #MVMarp a day off? #BFIB grand slam and a 4-3 lead!!

/NAWT ded yet!

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

3
King Hippo

/yes we are behind again THANKS FOAR noticing

0
scotchnaut

I feel that Cuse football coach Dino Babers missed his true calling as a driver in Wacky Racers. He’d have ended up banging Penelope Pitstop for sure.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JWPw0jEIhVw

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
JustStopDude

Drinking rum, beer, and just waiting out this storm…that somehow has not really arrived.

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

How is the weather?

2
theeWeeBabySeamus

Deeper that I thought?

0
scotchnaut

Cuse qb Eric Dungey letting it all hang out. Just like his distant cousin would have wanted.

3
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

His coach is giving him a lot of rope.

3
King Hippo

#GodsWill

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, shit.

comment image

2
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

comment image

0
Brick Meathook

Pugs are lovable but they are actually from another planet. This is what aliens really look like. They travel 100 million light years and it turns out they’re stupid.

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

It would be kind of funny if there was a practical joke species with like unlimited resources that would do such a thing; i.e. fill up a spaceship with their equivalent of dogs and send it off to land on a developing planet like ours, just to fuck with us.

1
Brick Meathook

That’s a movie that writes itself.

1
herodotus450

Toledo within 7 of Meami, largely on the back of Jameson “See My” Vest’s two extra points.

0
herodotus450

Maryland is just trying to not offend anyone by doing too much work at Temple on Shabbat.

2
King Hippo

Troy fumbles punt inside own 10, Cornpone responds with…three and out/FG.

2
scotchnaut

Shoulda kicked the field goal on first down. That’s really bad clock management.

2
King Hippo

srsly!

1
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Troy? Our IT guy? NO SURPRISE THERE!!

1
scotchnaut

Wife thinks I need to get my eyes checked. My counter? “Nah, we just need a bigger TV”.

0
scotchnaut

This sets me up for the perfect compromise.

“Sure honey, I’ll get my eyes checked but we should get a bigger TV so that all our bases are covered.”

1
King Hippo

you can get them CHECKED without actually DOING anything as a result!

LawyerSpeak

1
scotchnaut

That without actually DOING anything really speaks to me!

1
King Hippo

do as little as humanly possible, the world could always end tomorrow!

0
herodotus450

Looks like the Steelers are wearing their throwbacks and just kicked a field goal to get within one score of some team that washed a red hat with their white jerseys.
[puts on glasses]
Oh, it was soccer all along.

2
Brick Meathook

Holy shit is there really an ABC show about a retarded doctor?

4
Brick Meathook

How’d you like to have a gunshot wound and they wheel you up to that guy. Just sayin’.

0
Mr. Ayo

Please tell me it’s called “Dr. Downs”

4
King Hippo

Sam Darnold is really opening some doors all over, it would seem!

2
blaxabbath

I hope there’s a scene with a grieving family in the hallway and he’s just standing there staring at them, eating a pretzel with one hand and completing a rubix cube with the other.

4
Mr. Ayo

I hope it’s more like this
comment image

2
scotchnaut

Clemson is up 21-0. How many td’s did Perry Tuttle get?

0
King Hippo

Muted Cornpone fans seem to be doing the macarena. This is truly frightening.

0
blaxabbath

At the eye doc with my dog. She’s old and I’m not at all interested in surgery; just want her to be comfortable. So we’ll see how this works out.

0
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“I’m sure it will be fine.”

– Mike Zimmer
comment image

4
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

The best to your pooch. Agree on the surgery; a lot of times it is more stress on them to do than the thing it is supposed to remedy. Comfort is the thing.

1
scotchnaut

/me just now*

“This beer isn’t going down very smoothly.”

[light bulb over head turns on]

[takes half-done beer to fridge, grabs ‘fresher’ beer and opens it]

“That oughta do the trick!”

*completely true

3
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Please tell me you mixed them to spread the freshness across maximum beer.

2
scotchnaut

No. The ‘bad’ beer is in the fridge, thinking about how he dishonored his brothers. I’m sure he’ll get his shit together when I go back to him later in the day.

2
Spur

Yep, i have the Bigten channel. let”s go Troy!

0
LemonJello

comment image

3
King Hippo

Cuse has 1st and goal on 1, kicks FG. 6-nil.

1
scotchnaut

Glass Half-Full Take: Jimmy’s zone is on point so far!

2
Mr. Ayo

Still better than FSU borking that last possession.

1
King Hippo

that was really hilarious

0
King Hippo

and so ends Hippo’s brief streaming of Boomer Sooner

1
herodotus450

winless Nebraska losing BIG to Troy!?

0
scotchnaut

I couldn’t even tell you which conference Troy is in.

0
herodotus450

I’m not even 100% sure which country they’re in. But they did beat LSU recently, last year perhaps.

0
Mr. Ayo

Something called the Sun Belt

1
scotchnaut

Do the onions come free or do you have to purchase them as an accessory?

6
Senor Weaselo

No, they’re for holding your chips.

0
scotchnaut

Devonta is out so I’m gonna have a spiel about his backfield mate tomorrow. Summed up, it’ll go something like this-START ALL THE TEVIN COLEMAN’S!

1
Senor Weaselo

I have Coleman, Sharky has Freeman. He’ll just have to replace him with *checks* well, not Le’Veon, so… Marlon Mack?

I am totally setting myself to have a hot start to the DFO League before ending the year losing 6 in a row and finishing out of the playoffs on a tiebreaker.

1
scotchnaut

You’ll be winning that ‘matchup’, for sure.

1
Spur

Has our Orange Asshole made any tweets today about the Hurricane or Manafort?

1
Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

No, I think he’s still trying to figure out how to make the Mueller investigation go away, since yelling at it didn’t work.

0
Beerguyrob

I can’t wait for the protest letters about why the Carolina Hurricanes name is now insensitive.

3
Wakezilla

Those happened over a decade ago.

1
King Hippo

#DrowndedTrailerPersons

1
King Hippo

/also this would require citizens of North Cakalaky (other than transplant Rangers, Sabres, and Bruins fans) to notice that the Whalers are here

3
King Hippo

I’m sure there are sadder things in the world than the FSU/Cuse match I have on in the background (stream is down to just #BFIB as the entire Prem has decided to be unwatchable dreck today), but I’ll be damned if I can name them.

0
scotchnaut

I’ve been getting all of Cuse’s football games for years and years and I still haven’t taken in nary a one.

0
Spur

Shit, i just found a Youtube channel that has 80s/90s arcade gameplay and cut-scenes. I’m watching Revolution X right now.

This may hold me over until the Boise game.

1
1 2
194
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x