The Noon window is filled with hot garbage, and deserves no preview. Let us resume drying out with midday, shall we?
LSU at Auburn (3:30, CBS)
I am still not sure exactly who Aubie is just yet (that U-Dub win was hardly convincing), and today will be quite demonstrative. 10 points is a pretty big spread, though Jordan-Hare is muy dificil as far as road venues go. Bayou Bengals catch a break that it’s not under the lights.
BYU at Wisconsin (3:30, ABC)
So. Many. White ppl. I hope they bought sunscreen by the 5-gallon drum.
Boise State at Oklahoma State (3:30, ESPN)
Well, spank me ’till it hurts! An entertaining cross-conference tilt where the first team to 50 just might win. BDSM State stands between us all and an endless procession of does Boise belong in teh playoffs? windbaggery.
Duke at Baylor (3:30, FS1)
Not too much raping!!
Houston at Texas Tech (4:15, Fox)
JV Yoooooouston is feeling really good about itself, and that probably won’t work out so good for them. Look for Guns Up!! to stand they ground.
Alabama at Ole Miss (7:00, ESPN)
A good litmus test as to exactly how scary Roll Damn Tide is gonna be this season. Johnny Reb has been their Bogey Side since forever, and has enough pieces to cause trouble if Bama isn’t at peak performance level. But that Reb defense? Let’s just say it can be exploited a wee bit.
Ohio State at TCU (8:00, ABC)
Probably the match of the day, though I have a feeling it will disappoint. Hope not. Blood FOAR the Bloodeyes’ GOD, and all that.
Arizona State at San Diego State (10:30, CBSSN)
Co-ed Bowl 2: Electric Boogaloo features a ranked Sparky squadron. Go ahead, enjoy, this shall be the only week anyone ever says that about Herm’s charges.
This is the single most insane college football game I’ve ever seen. I invite you to throw your faves against the internet wall.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VyjIGzh3Pgk
TD Potatoes!
Beautiful throw and catch.
Can’t see the line, can ya Russ?
Folks, I’m going to San Diego for the first time tomorrow and the thing I look forward to most is having Pliny the Elder for the first time. I truly aspire to so little.
Pliny The Younger is way more open-minded. Just sayin’.
this Blue vs Orange coloring is pleasing
Bloated Candice Bergen Sighting!
Network ideas are as old as she is.
NC State just completed an 84 yard TD pass from Ryan Finley to Jakobi Meyers. He broke a tackle at the 4 yd line and then got to the goal line.
OK, I made that up.
Easy to do with no one else on the field. Campus police will be by soon to tell them to get back to the dorms.
STILL UNDEFEATEDZ!!!!!!!
Is Papa John’s trying to make the most disgusting pizza in the world? Or are people who order that Italian Hero Pizza kept track of and are eventually removed from the gene pool for the betterment of mankind? Papa John’s our mission is eugenics.
hehehehe
DOINK!
What a fucking catch by LSU guy, think it stands.
That’s a shitload of wheelbarrow orangutans.
mah kinda gal
I like her a lot.
OK State knows Boise likes to throw the ball right?
https://giant.gfycat.com/IllinformedEdibleBoa.webm
“She seems to satisfy all of my needs.”
-Abraham Maslow
Fun fact: Maslow lifted his entire hierarchy of needs from an Indian tribe (Blackfoot) and never credited them aside from making his chart teepee shaped.
Pshaw! Next you’re gonna tell me that Ayn Rand ended up relying on social assistance!
he dead?
he died as he lived, screaming in abject terror
If the wind blows at night he can’t be under blankets anymore.
. . . and when they unfurled it, he was gone.
I like this Brett Rypien ’cause he is why next year’s Top 5 pick (please not Raiders) Ryan Finley is at NC State.
Rypien needs to go to the right team. Jags, Denver, etc.
Mommy’s nipple fetish makes me sick. smgdh.
Oklahoma State fans are a little too much into their paddles
They play in that junior college league right? Big teen12 or something?
psssst, that’s teh BDSM State joke!
God I love the SEC…
Byu Wisco preview made me laugh. Great work Hippo!
I like her.
Him, I might have to kill.
He looks like
“I’m getting called into HR for this aren’t I?”
Yeah, hipster couldn’t commit. She’s being polite with her reaction.
“Wait; this is on camera?!”
“Welp, sending my resume to the good printer.”
Easy to tell that she’s been spanked much harder by better men with larger hands.
LSU pickerception!!
OK, this gal doing the sign language translation for the governor’s office… Well she’s been overworked.
Also, deaf people do realize how to turn on closed captioning….yes?
Yes, I’m an asshole, this isn’t news….move along ppl.
Closed captioning is shit tho
SEC baby! Accept the evil!!!
Hail Satan!
WHERE is Allie LaForce? I have not seen her on another network. She is America’s greatest natural treasure.
She’s here with tWBS. I’ll tell her you said “hey gurl!!!!”
She says….ggghrf…not on my face.
/it totally went on her face
OK, even I’m ashamed of that one.
Delos Inc has her in the lab for a 50,000 mile tune-up.
You can complain about your job, but the rigors of a photographer’s assistant……
A large-breasted redhead with attitude? I’d love to be her ex-boyfriend.
Agreed!
Boise is on ESPN2
You know, in the fairly-near future a bunch of us are going to pull up our adult diapers and say, “Back in my day, we didn’t trust streaming services at all! 90% of them were complete shit! Now they’re good? Really? They only had 15 years to get their shit together! Give me a feed from a trusty TV any day of the week!”
Your proctologist seems rather…aggressive? Intense?
And that’s why I have an exam every week or so.
They remade Alien at a doughnut shop.
Holy good god damned shit.
I can tell….she’d really like me.
Hey look, NC governor is back on mah teevee. He’s not good at public speaking. Almost makes me miss that asshole McCrory.
How much trouble will I get in if I go outside and jerk off in the wind and rain of the hurricane remnants.
/asking foar a friend
You’re fine; just don’t take a dump.
I’m not making any promises. Shit happens.
(heheheh…get it?)
Remember, if you spit in the air, it lands on your face.
I shoot downwind. I learned that long ago.
Don’t invoke another fetish of his.
HEY YOU STAY OUTTA THIS!!!!!!
No one wants to see the end FSU-Syracuse. Change this shit ESPN.
after much clicking around, trying alternate pathways…this finally worked. Quality…not great. But better than nothing, fellow hurricane ppls.
FUCK YOU WEATHER PEOPLES
https://www.cbssports.com/college-football/sec-live/
goddamnit, I make an account at CBS Sports and everything, goddamn link for streaming LSU/Aubie no workie
Have you tried logging out, then logging back in?
someone just needed to tell him he wuz pretty ,, smgdh
“..and they called it a crime?”
– Sandusky
[hears “loud slapping sounds”]
Is this the Sandusky Inmate Players Theater production of Avengers: Infinity War?
Laundry is done. It aint Raining here.
Last time she lets junior take her car out to Lovers’ Lane…
Trojans wrapping up the Corn has a different meaning where I come from
https://
i.ebayimg.com/images/g/6T8AAOSwFO5aBSzX/s-l300.jpg
Pickerception, TROY! And UConn might get a W, someone wake Horatio.
“Wake up Horatio? Not if I have anything to do with it!”
-Super Snailfish Brewery’s recent release of their seasonal “Intrepid Near-Fall Holocaust 90 Minute Coffee Porter”.
“Here is proof as to why face plants are so expensive to cook with.”
-Julia Child
Nebraska/Troy is turning into a grain silo burner.
Unless Maryland scores 21 points in the next 50 seconds, they really are gonna lose to Temple. So by the transitive property, Temple is better than Texas.
ah have a problem in mah pants!
Local channel is only doing hurricane coverage, no LSU – Auburn game, unless you go to their streaming site. Not going to happen.
Iowa St.’s kicker’s last name is Assalley? Oh boy, he must have been teased a lot when he was young
As Napolean so brilliantly put it, “I came. I saw. I firsted”.
Edit: “I fisted.”
The fact that Stanford doesn’t just play Stamford every ween is the biggest travesty in the history of the universe.
You gotta ween yourself off the hyperbole.
So glad you edited me out of that clip. Pushing that kid to the ground repeatedly? Best day ever!
Go home son, you’re drunk.