A little bit of video game music trivia from two of my favorite game series for tonight’s listening pleasure. First, we go to the early ’90s for one of the big mascots, and maybe the crowning jewel of the series, or half of the crowning jewel, whether you consider the a trilogy or tetralogy.
This is The Jetzons’ Hard Times, and if you’re in your 30s to 40s, this song will sound very familiar, because it’s by the guy who also sampled it to write this.
Now, for that reason you’re not going to hear it in other media, likely because Sega doesn’t own the rights. (See Sonic Origins.)
Brad Buxer, who wrote the music, ended up being Michael Jackson’s musical director for some time. And yes, Michael Jackson (and Buxer, and others) collaborated with Sega for Sonic 3 (but not Sonic & Knuckles, though technically in that case yes for Sonic 3 & Knuckles although once they realized they couldn’t fit it all in one cartridge it led to the split games and lock-on cartridge), I shit you not. Like everyone’s favorite zone, Carnival Night Zone taking from Jam, like the broken glass sample and the bit before the rap (at 3:15 in “Jam”). Or the Sonic 3 credits and Stranger in Moscow (listen to Stranger in Moscow 2x to hear the similarities). Jackson didn’t want his name on the final product due to not being happy with the capabilities of the sound chip. In fairness, it’s a video game sound chip from a 16-bit system in 1994, so listen, you’re not gonna get the world’s greatest audio quality and I’d consider it impressive what they were able to do with the limitations of the system. Oh yeah, and also Jackson’s first wave of sexual abuse allegations happened in 1993, which also led to Jackson’s termination with the project.
I find it unfortunate that I have Sonic 1, 2, and CD downloaded (okay, at this point offloaded for space reasons called “Need for Speed makes me download the entire fucking app’s worth of data when I have to update it, goddammit, I’m running out of space because of all the things Senorita Weaselo sends me”) but there is no Sonic 3/Sonic & Knuckles/Sonic 3 & Knuckles for the iPhone. I don’t want Sonic 4, I could not give a flying battery fuck about Sonic 4. (Actually, the Sonic Mania version of that track’s pretty good, but that’s always been my favorite Sonic zone soundtrack along with Chemical Plant Zone.)
(Inspiration and some information for this segment by)
Okay, how about some news?
If you like iceball, and many of us do, the trade deadline’s approaching and it’s been a surprising frenzy. Just over the last day or so:
-F Patrick Kane to the Rangers
-G Jonathan Quick and picks to Columbus for G Joonas Korpisalo and D Vladislav Gavrikov
-D Matthias Ekholm to Edmonton
-F Luke Schenn (back) to Toronto
-F Marcus Johansson to Minnesota
-Toronto trades D Rasmus Sandin to Washington for D Erik Gustafsson and a 1st
What about football? That’s why we’re here.
Paging CrimeBeat! And it’s a big one: Georgia DL and top draft prospect Jalen Carter has been charged with reckless driving and racing relating to a crash which killed teammate Devin Willcock and recruiting staffer Chandler LeCroy back in January. He’s expected to turn himself in when he returns to Athens after the combine.
QAARON QAVE WATQH: Aaron Rodgers has left his darkness retreat.
And his answer? Update soon.
What’s the sports?
Slap Shot
One brand-spankin’ new Patrick Kane vs. Gritty (NYR vs. PHI, 7:30, TNT)
Raleigh Man vs. BattleBots Destruct-A-Thon (CAR vs. VGK, 10:00, TNT)
NBA Jam
Sword People vs. “Itchy Runs Afoul of an Irishman” (CLE vs. BOS, 7:45, ESPN)
Fightin’ Not-Zions vs. Fightin’ Lillards (NO vs. POR, 10:00, ESPN)
NCAA Jam
At Least One Musketeer vs. Friar Tucks (#19 Xavier vs. #20 Providence, in progress, FS1)
Iron Basketbowl: Auburn vs. #2 Alabama (7:00, ESPN2)
Getting Dunked on by Patrick Chewing vs. Barrels (Georgetown vs. Creighton, 8:30, FS1)
#9 Tejas vs. #22 Bloodeyes (9:00, ESPN2)
All right, celebrate Women’s History Month accordingly with what Padre Weaselo’s ’90s Italian wedding band dubbed the women’s national anthem.
I’m watching American Graffiti.
This is George Lucas’s best movie, and I told him that once. We were converting Star Wars number-whatever into stereographic (that’s “three-dee” to the hot-polloi) and I told him that American Graffiti is the one that should be converted to full stereo visual glory instead of this Jar Jar Binks shit, so he fired me.
take a popsicle
Who cut the cheese?
So, there’s a True Lies (TV Series). I’m taking the bullet for the Clubhouse and am watching it. Its an okay attempt, but they rushed it and they somehow got an actor who is less charming and sympathetic than Arnold Schwarzenegger. Part of the movie was you going “Come on, Helen, forgive him.” In the TV series, I’m going “Call a divorce lawyer. The lying son of a bitch isn’t worth it!”
Also, they blew their creative wad early and skipped to the part where Helen finds out he’s a spy halfway into episode one. No seeing how Harry hides his secret. No fun seeing Helen suspect Harry of hiding something. And no Simon the Used Car Saleman! I mean, you can’t top the late, great Bill Paxton, but you can at least try!
They should make a show called Prue Lies featuring the judge from the Great British Bake-Off. Either she’s a spy doing wetwork or it’s a prank show where she cons elderly Brits out of their pensions, both would be great.
Mary Berry > Prue.
She loves her alchohol!
Céspedes Family BBQ on Twitter: “some highlights from The Umpireless Inning: https://t.co/P3MSafaLMQ https://t.co/Rf8UjrE7GG” / Twitter
I am fully on board with the BLEERGH-less sporting experiment.
That’s awesome!
NFL Players Association team report cards: Commanders get failing grade, Vikings ranked No. 1 – CBSSports.com
Oh, yeah! The Bengals organization is cheap and doesn’t give a shit about its players!
Fully how two years of unbridled, unparalleled success can make someone forget the obvious.
Nothing underscores the intellectual side of the NFL like nonironically giving out F minuses.
Fairly OddParents – Super F – YouTube
It’s worthwhile going to the NFLPA website and looking in depth at the report. Really good info there.
That’s My Raiders! at…#3? As in, third best?
Just talked to my mom, and I love the conversation because the slow escalation of her hearing loss. I am trying to have a coherent conversation, she replies to what she thought I said, and is confused by what she thought I said, and then me trying to make sense of her replies in context of the conversation. It’s like we both start out in English, but she starts talking in Spanish while hearing me talk in Russian. My wife just looks at me with a WTF look on her face as she listens in.
Polk with the bitchin’ mohawk!
Better than Trump’s real hair. I use “real” in a loose sense, of course.
I’d like to believe that Roger Clinton still rocks the same mullet today.
I ♥️ Ike
Geddy Truman is hot!
I thought that was a photo of J. Edgar Hoover, from Clyde Tolson’s private collection.
How did they make Fillmore look cool? And why does Buchanan have anime hair?
Lyndon Johnson looks like Robert Englund.
Franklin Pierce could get it! He’s got a sexy vampire thing going on.
Not to be all, “OF COURSE ASHLII BABBITTS MOM IS JUST A CONTENT DUMPSTER MAKING THE ROUNDS THROUGH EVERY WHITE TRASH CHARACTER STREAM FOR A HIT!” but “OF COURSE ASHLII BABBITTS MOM IS JUST A CONTENT DUMPSTER MAKING THE ROUNDS THROUGH EVERY WHITE TRASH CHARACTER STREAM FOR A HIT!”
https://twitter.com/ForgiatoBlow47/status/1631088688292679680
Nothing says “GOD FEARING PATRIOT” and “RESPECT THE FLAG” like face and neck tattoos.
My favorite reply:
https://i.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/newsfeed/002/450/726/665
This is how I recall her death.
“Let’s see…it was when the Michael Jordan documentary memes were on and I remember hers was about…oh yeah, LOL, it’s like she’s talking about ‘nothing will stop us!’ and then the bullet is Jordan like, all claiming to take that personally. Yeah, that dumb bitch must have gotten it good in like ’20 or so.”
Oh, we saw some red-tailed hawks today. One of them almost landed on a telephone pole across the street from us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CLrVj2JSZJI
You’re a chicken, and I’m a chickenhawk!
I always thought Foghorn was really too old to be targeted by a chicken hawk.
That’s called seeing a hawk fly by a telephone pole over there.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SVZVhfbgCsw
Walter White’s life before moving to New Mexico seemed so much simpler.
I always took Aaron Rodgers for someone who has an aversion to “darkness”
No, no, I could see him playing Kurtz in a more modern take of ‘Heart of Darkness’.
Or a tortured superhero known only as “The Darkness”.
Institutional CHAOS down in Jawrja!!!!! Death Penalty!
“Vacate their champeenship and give it to ‘Bama like the good lord intended!”
Good news for Sewer Wings fans this evening. They’re not losing.*
*they’re also not playing
You mean they’re just out roaming free amongst the public? That seems dangerous.
Draft picks are the future, maaaan, and the Sens just gave all theirs away
That conditional 2nd-rounder this year and the pick in the 2026(!) draft are going to cripple the franchise for years to come.
You know who else was a second round pick…
“Me? I’m not quite sure. I’m kinda on the stupid side of things…”
-Jonatan Berggren
I get the feeling Emo Carr signs with the Black Panthers. The “Charlotte Sometimes” jokes write themselves.
He’s just there to feel something again, even if it’s angst and ennui.
Or “Pretty Good Charlotte”.
I’ll heartily rec Christopher Moore’s Razzmatazz-funny stuff and he does an amazing job of tying up a bunch of disparate narratives in the last 70(?) or so pages. I only have 1 1/2 books in the queue, so give me something to read.*
*May have said it before but I get nervous if there’s less than two unread books on my bedside table.
SPIRIT ANIMAL!
/have 7 or 8 in the hopper currently
//reading the “Bois Sauvage” series by Jesmyn Ward (think yeah right rec’d that) and good so far (just 50 pages in)
How funny, I downloaded that exact book earlier this week.
Added to my list.
Reading Zero World by Jason Hough. It’s good so far
Moore has a whole bunch of books. ‘Lamb’ is his best, (that’s not an opinion, it’s just a fact), and then in my opinion ‘Sacre Bleu’ is next. But I’ve never read one of his books I didn’t laugh my ass off all the way through.
So my nephew got in some minor trouble at work, and the Dr. Mrs. went to bat for him as an advocate, which is good. It worked out fine – they docked him some pay – but now she wants to send them a letter to the supervisors complaining about the process, and every fiber of me is screaming “HOW DOES THIS HELP OUR NEPHEW?” In my eyes she’s basically she’s putting a target that says “Aunt Karen” on the poor kid’s back with no tangible benefit to him.
Could swing one of two ways-
1.) Don’t fuck with this kid, he’s got representation
2.) Fuck with this kid-he’s a headache that needs to be gone.
You are 100% right, but I could see this advice going badly for you.
It depends on the company, of course, but generally HR doesn’t touch people with lawyers. They would need to have their shit together and all the t’s crossed and I’s dotted. Most HR people aren’t that good.
Distract her with a subscription to Vacuuming Monthly?
Perhaps she has been looking to shop for new Tupperware. Surprise her!
Secretly disable the vacuum(s) by switching the motor polarity and spread some dirt on the floor, her going insane trying to clean up will keep her busy.
Great part of Spaceballs
From what he has said, that would need to be “Vacuuming Daily”.
Sure, Daily is good for the gossip and rumors, but a true vacuum aficionado wants Monthly for the real behind-the-scenes knowledge about performance upgrades, aftermarket parts, upcoming models, new features and head-to-head comparisons.
There’s no point in tearing open a wound once it’s healed, especially because complaining about the process you just finished doesn’t have anything to do with the nephew’s now-resolved problem. Unless the nephew asked her to send the letter that’s something I wouldn’t recommend.
This ☝🏼. Great time to whip out the best thing ever written.
In Don Quijote’s first trip, he encountered a master whipping his servant. Don Q gave the master a stern lecture on ethics and demanded the servant be released inder penalty of death. The master complied and expressed regret. When Don Quijote left, the master beat the motherfucking shit outta the servant.
The nephew is the one there every day. Take the W and walk away.
Fucking Cervantes.
Always one-upping me.
Always fight back – but only if the kid deserves it. If he’s just going to fuck up again, forget about it.
What did he do, and why was his pay docked? That last part is a key question; you can’t just take someone’s paycheck.
He’s a great kid – the best I’ve ever known personally. It’s not worth fighting over the docked pay (it’s $100) but we’re just trying to make sure he finishes the program without further issue. So we’re making sure he keeps a very solid paper trail from now on in case they keep fucking with him.