Unless it’s a seizure. No seizures please. Otherwise I can take all that booze and those snacks off your hands. It’s a free service-part of my community work, you see.

One of these games will be a struggle to watch and I feel sorry for anyone that is exposed to it. The AFC offerings are, shall we type, better by every measure? Still, we can’t have good games without bad ones. How could we possibly judge them as being good with nothing to compare them to? Let’s you and me explore this further… TO THE GAMES!

Lions/Niners:

The home team’s O-line is a gotdamned mess because they’re on to their fourth right guard so far this season. The resultant shuffling likely means that only a modicum of Lions pressure will cause them to break down. And let me tell you, this year’s Lion D really can bring the modicum! On t’udder side of the field it’s unlikely that qb Stafford melts down to the degree he did last week. Suffice to say, after advocating for him as a sneaky-good fantasy baller, I’m sure glad I didn’t get him.

Raiders/Broncs:

It’s a wonder Gruden can find time to put together a game plan when he’s so busy undercutting his qb, the departed Mack and his GM, Reggie McKenzie. You see, when you’re being paid nine figures all your decisions are gold. You’re a veritable King Midas out there! Pour one out for rook Kolton Miller who is lined up against Von today. Denver sacked Seattle’s Wilson six times last week and that figure seems quite reachable again today. On the O side, Keenum should keep recognizing which part of the field his bread is buttered on. That would be wherever wr Sanders is located. The latter caught 10 of 11 targets for 135 yardos and a TD. That’s quality stat-padding all way round.

Pats/Jags:

The answer to the question, “Is Fournette playing?” lies in the fact that an rb was called up from the practice squad just yesterday. Also, if the coaching staff has an ounce of common sense they’ll keep their hamstrung franchise cowbell off the field. It certainly seems like these guys are meeting somewhere down the road and the less footage Bellichick has to look at the better. Lb Gipson can’t catch a break-last week he was tailing te Engram and this week he gets Gronk. Look for safety Barry Church to slide over and give Gipson a hand in coverage. Btw, the Jags are the only team that Brady has not lost to-overdue, don’t ya think?

Tell me some lies below.