Your “I Come Alive In The Fall Time” Saturday Evening Open Thread

My mood has been quite foul all week. I think it’s my work schedule. Being back on afternoon & evenings means I don’t really appreciate the weekend anymore. By the time I get home I just want the day to end; finishing earlier in the day made for more activity time later, and that made the days flow better.

Also, getting home halfway through sporting events really pisses me off. THAT’S MY SPORTS DRINKING TIME!


Tonight’s sports:

  • NCAA:
    • Florida at Mississippi State – 6:00PM | ESPN
    • Virginia Tech at Duke – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • Iowa State at TCU – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Ohio State at Penn State – 7:30PM | ABC
    • Stanford at Notre Dame – 7:30PM | NBC
    • BYU at Washington – 8:30PM | FOX
    • Mississippi at LSU – 9:00PM | ESPN
    • Southern California at Arizona – 10:30PM | ESPN2 / TSN2
    • Oregon at California – 10:30PM | FS1
    • Toledo at Fresno State – 10:30PM | ESPNU
  • CFL:
    • Blue Bombers vs. Eskimos – 7:00PM | TSN
  • MLB:
    • Tigers at Brewers – 7:00PM | FS1
  • MLS:
    • Toronto FC vs. New England – 7:30PM | TSN4
    • LA Galaxy vs. Whitecaps FC – 10:00PM | TSN
  • 2018 Ryder Cup Golf:
    • Day 3 in France – 6:00AM | NBC
  • NHL Preseason:
    • Sportsnet – 7:00PM; 10:00PM

Is it twice in a row we’ve been treated to the best game of the week on a Thursday? I DIDN’T ASK FOR THAT!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Viva La Tabula Raza

Allstate dances around saying the word “climate change.” At least the guy has an authoritative voice.

Doktor Zymm

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

*Happier

King Hippo

ALREADY IS!!

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yeah, no comment.

Senor Weaselo

I have a soul mate? That means I’m not trying hard enough, I’m supposed to be unique, dammit!

King Hippo

God is trying to troll me into watching the end of the Paedos/Urban Truthers contest.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

South Cakalaky. Doesn’t appear to understand how time works.

Doktor Zymm

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“MAY”?

theeWeeBabySeamus

tWBS’ underpants are safe. Which I don’t wear anyway, but that’s probably TMI.

Fuck you Orioles. From top to bottom you proved this year to be a group of losers who really don’t give a crap.

At least not as long as you get paid.

Chris Davis? Go take your adderall and die in a fire you fucking shitstain.

Manny Machado? Smartest dude on the roster. In LA now.

Adam Jones? Get your fucking head examined because you should have taken the trade while you could.

Jeebus I’m pissed.

King Hippo

Davis set the ALL-TIME record for lowest batting average (for those with enough at bats to qualify).

That’s legitimately impressive. He deserves a parade, like the 0-16 #ThePauls.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Have you seen his contract, however?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Her spine is way more flexible than Johnny Knox’s

King Hippo

he will be given every chance to break that record!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That freaking Chris Davis contract will haunt the organization for a long time.

So when they line Buck Showalter up to be shot, Dan Duquette better damned sure be next to him.

That useless piece of shit (Davis that is) is signed thru ’22.

Jeebus.

theeWeeBabySeamus

ALL GUARANTEED MONEY FFS!!!!!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Guess this isn’t the place to talk about how happy I am with the Red Sox season.

theeWeeBabySeamus

No, I’m mostly being tongue in cheek.
It’s not as if I didn’t see this coming months ago. Otherwise I wouldn’t have offered to eat my own underpants.

But still, yes, Fuck Boston.

😛

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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WCS

NC State won?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’d say “survived” is a better term.
But we’ll be ranked next week probably.

Which is a travesty in and of itself.

King Hippo

we are very pleased about that hurricane no ofence

theeWeeBabySeamus

LOL. We definitely avoided a Will Grier raping sans lube.

Horatio Cornblower

Me: “I think Notre Dame’s got this one”

Dog: -growls menacingly-

Me: “So you listened to Hippo’s gambling advice too?”

King Hippo

hey now, it’s nae like I actually bet on STANFORD.

Doktor Zymm
Horatio Cornblower

There is literally nothing I care less about than the Ryder Cup. I hope the US loses every single one of those until the end of time.

King Hippo

BROTHER!!!

Viva La Tabula Raza

How serious are we supposed to take a sporting event that’s sponsored by a company that rents box trucks?

King Hippo

and that the English like?

Viva La Tabula Raza

Fucking English. The only two worthwhile legacies of the British Empire are constitutional democracy (very loosely defined) and the phrase “Fuck off.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They have some really good museums filled with stuff they stole for the various colonies!

Viva La Tabula Raza

Love me some Elgin Marbles!

King Hippo

eat shit and die, David Shaw. I just could nae bear to bet on ND (plus I worried they’d win and fail to cover)

Spur

oh, he dead.

Doktor Zymm

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Horatio Cornblower

“I sure do!”
Odell Beckham, Jr.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Quickly.

Doktor Zymm

Dear Amazon, if I ask for Ella, I don’t want no newfangled Ella remixes. Just the Pure Fitzgerald please

Horatio Cornblower

/Two hours later an Amazon drone fires a DVD of the Ellen DeGeneres show through Zymm’s window

theeWeeBabySeamus

Baltimore Orioles Update: Either they score at least three in the bottom of the 9th to tie this debacle up, and go to extra frames, or tWBS will not have to eat his own underpants.

And they’ll lose #116 tomorrow.

I have literally never seen a team that cares so little about winning.

Buck Showalter should be shot.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

That’s a numberwang!

Doktor Zymm

My formative baseball memory is some lady saying Brady Anderson had a great butt at an Orioles game

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh yes, the chicks definitely dug him.

King Hippo

he DID. I don’t even like the Dirt Ratbirds, or man asses, and I remember THAT!

Senor Weaselo

I don’t know if he could walk the walk with it, or another approximate rhyme to that.
/Steroids joke

Senor Weaselo

At this point he’s probably like “Please, this is agonizing.”

Also again vis a vis Curse of Black Jack somehow the O’s win it all in 2019. Never mind that the Yanks and D-Backs were basically built while he was at the helm and needed that last push, as my narrative is funnier!

Horatio Cornblower

If they could have played the Yankees 162 times they’d have at least 90 wins.

theeWeeBabySeamus

And vicey versey…. If not for losing to the O’s the Yanks could be close to tied for the division.

herodotus450

Refs come up big on that series.

herodotus450

Apparently I have no idea what pass interference is either.

Redshirt

You always remember your first Doctor.

Unless you’re Donna. Poor, poor Donna.

Doktor Zymm
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“You know why Dr. Pepper comes in a bottle?”

Spanky Datass
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I didn’t want you answering that, damnit!

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Spanky Datass

I waited FOREVER and figured nobody would see it in the end. my bad.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I first heard that joke when I was too young to get it. We should change it to “Because his wife divorced him and took the house.”

Doktor Zymm

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Brick Meathook

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King Hippo

I dunno, didn’t really care for childhood/adolescence, either

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

basically, I had maybe 4 or 5 good months

Horatio Cornblower

Drinking one of these. It’s 9%. Unlike that kitten, this is not disappointing.comment image

(apparently it goes for $89.99 on eBay which, just, no)

Spur

Do you believe in Ghosts?

Horatio Cornblower

Nope.

My wife is into ghost hunting. We once spent the night at the Lizzie Borden house and did things in the murder room that Brett Kavanaugh would hesitate to do after 12 beers, and if that didn’t produce a ghost to at least come in and tell us to “knock that shit off, some of us are trying to get our eternal rest around here”, well, ghosts just don’t exist.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Senor Weaselo

Something something “more than 40 whacks” something something…

yeah right

As someone who tries to think logically probably not but I’ve had a couple of real life first hand experiences that made me illogical.

Not to mention made me almost shit my pants.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes; as a configuration of the human mind. A need to think that there is something beyond the abyss, a need to think that loved ones are not truly gone, a simple need to explain “WTF was that?” without facts.

yeah right

We need to do a real life ghost story collection for DFO Halloween.
I’ve got a couple of beauties.

Gratliff

Not even a little

Viva La Tabula Raza

Since both teams can’t lose, I guess I’ll root for OSU just to shut all them fuckers in Crappy Valley up.

Horatio Cornblower

Probably the best result.

Although if Urban could have another “exhaustion” episode as a result, that’d be even more ideal.

Horatio Cornblower

So many Notre Dame players are dropping you’d think there was a high wind advisory in South Bend.

herodotus450

I continue to have no idea what targeting is or how it is enforced.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nor does anyone else. Including the officials.
That’s the problem.

Senor Weaselo

Wheel of Morality?

Doktor Zymm

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Spur

How the hell did we get a Venom movie?

Redshirt

Marvel happened.

herodotus450

Probably he infected some other movie and took it over.

Senor Weaselo

Ooh, clever.

Spur

Nice.

Redshirt

(slow clap)

Shut down the Evening Thread.

Spanky Datass

I have chicken nachos in the oven; They smell spectacular!

… No YOU make bad food choices when you’re drinking!!!!1!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza

Machaaaaaaaa!

Horatio Cornblower

There’s nothing like flipping through the channels and seeing Penn State play Ohio State to make you start lighting candles and chanting for Cthulhu to rise up and burn everything to the ground.

Doktor Zymm

That isn’t every Saturday for you?

Horatio Cornblower

No.
/erases pentagram with toe

theeWeeBabySeamus

I am sooooooo regretting not putting half a grand on the VT ML.
Jeebus.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I could have gotten them at +240.

Do the math.

Horatio Cornblower

“Do the math.”

No.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

merde, I only got like +170

theeWeeBabySeamus

This was mid-week. It dropped. But still….

King Hippo

Usually don’t even start looking until Thurs

Doktor Zymm

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King Hippo

best one yet!

theeWeeBabySeamus

SHUT UP CAT YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!!!!!

/knows me

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I will prolly die with a lot of unpaid medical bills.

King Hippo

that’s a win, yeah?

Redshirt

This pussy is looking into my soul. Make it stop. Please.

Gratliff

And if thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss will also gaze into thee.

Redshirt
Spanky Datass

Sillwee kittee you misspelled ‘relief’.

King Hippo

For Christ sake, beers and sodas. STOP advertising HOW GODDAMNED COLD you are. You have NOTHING TO DO WITH THAT.

Doktor Zymm

I TASTE BETTER WHEN YOUR TASTE BUDS ARE CHILLED AND INEFFECTIVE! BUY ME!

Fronkenshteen

I’d heard the Kav hearings have damaged many American women who are now re-living past sexual assaults. Today I learned my wife is one of them. I think we should let women take the lead for a long time. Men have shown ourselves to be what we are quite clearly. And it’s no way to run a compassionate, empathetic society.

King Hippo

sorry to hear about Mrs. Fronk and you are 100% correct. We are shameful creatures indeed.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I totally agree.

We all deserve death by Snu Snu.

Fronkenshteen

I believe a team photo of this sites kommentists would contain many woke men.

Fronkenshteen

Thanks man. You guys are a helluva shrink.

Gratliff

Odds are everyone knows at least several women personally that have been through it. The number is already unacceptably high and it’s only going to climb as women from previous generations start to come to the conclusion that shit they thought they had to accept when they were younger was actually sexual assault, coercion, etc.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yep. Disgusting, especially that it is known and we really don’t to shit to fix it.

Viva La Tabula Raza

My boss’s daughter left a school in Vermont after she was raped by another student back about 15 years ago. When I told my cousin who attended the same school in the late 70s about it, she said that getting raped was just part of the hazing/indoctrination process for female students. I have always hoped she was joking, but I’m afraid that maybe she wasn’t.

Doktor Zymm

That’s not a joke

King Hippo

the overall college atmosphere is bad enough, but I thank Jeebus I have just enough sense that no matter if I had money, I never would have sent my kids anywhere but neighborhood public schools. That whole “elite white male privilege” thing ain’t just sloganeering.

yeah right

Holy shit.

Redshirt

Not just ladies, Fronk. Men too. I know someone very close to me that is having an old scar reopened with this.

Fronkenshteen

I got taken advantage of by a guidance counselor at a catholic high school who specialized in promising iffy students with subpar grades facing parental pressure easy access to the school of their choice. I’m ok. Told my parents years later. It’s everywhere. Just hug the kiddos closer and hope for the best?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I guess if the R’s continue to run things, we government employees will probably no longer be required to take the annual Sexual Assault Awareness training. “What a waste of time and money,” sez Prez.

Redshirt

Tell Bride of Fronkenshteen we love her.

Fronkenshteen

She loves you guys too. No joke.

yeah right

That was a gut punch during the #metoo movement when youngest right said “Me too.”

I concur. Men suck.

Fronkenshteen

Sending you and yours a warm internet hug.

Doktor Zymm

On the plus side, when someone you thought was a friend tells you that Diane Feinstein should be lynched because she’s advocating for an investigation, you know they’re a total piece of crap you should never talk to again!

Viva La Tabula Raza

That’s why I deleted my Facebook account years ago.

Gratliff

My mom is like a born-again neocon. She went all the way from campaigning for Jesse Jackson in the 80’s to calling BLM a terrorist organization, which all seemed to coincide to her marrying a well-to-do libertarian type after my dad died. I shared the McKinnon cartoon on FB and she’s edited her response like 6 times to find just the right amount of rape-apologism to give herself plausible deniability (so far she’s settled on “SATIRE THAT REVICTIMIZES IS WRONG”), and I know for a fact that she’s been through some real shit to the extent that it shouldn’t even be physically possible for her to defend what’s going on. Personally, I think she’s trying to troll me into talking to her again, but not gonna work~

Doktor Zymm

Christ, that is all kinds of horrible.

And sounds like dude is not a libertarian, real libertarians want freedom (including freedom from being arbitrarily shot by police) for everyone, fake libertarians just want to have power over everyone so they can have freedom.

Gratliff

Honestly, he’s probably just a shitty republican type. I’ve only met him a handful of times, and he seems like a decent guy, several leagues above my dad, but the massive political shift isn’t an accident. So, I’m pretty sure the shit she spouts properly represents his beliefs. She’s the living embodiment of the path of least resistance, and he bought her a house, so.

Doktor Zymm

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theeWeeBabySeamus

And vice versa.
(not talking about you Dok, just in general)

Doktor Zymm

Pretty sure everyone likes goofy kittens though, they speaks truf!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Oh, kitteh gots that right.

King Hippo

kitty, you can replace “some” with “all” – I can take it.

herodotus450

pretty crazy that osu could take the lead on this drive after than abomination of a first half.

Redshirt

Ohio State losing.
(changes channel)
Doctor Who episode “Doomsday”
(changes channel)
MASH episode where Radar leaves and Klingler and BJ get depressed

Come on, TV. Its Saturday. Can’t I have a happy time watching TV. I’m afraid to change the channel for fear of what it will show.

Senor Weaselo

Is there an episode of MLP where they bring doom and ruin to the world and don’t fix it with the power of friendship?

King Hippo

maybe he can get the “Bike Shop” episode of Different Strokes!

herodotus450

Or that one issue of Mary Worth where she advises a friend to commit suicide

Redshirt

If they were showing the movie, five bucks says it will be this scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3_3c33ygV5w

theeWeeBabySeamus

You could always stream the MASH episode where Col. Blake dies.
That one’s always fun.
(probably the first time I cried over a TV show)
((these days, I cry a lot, both good and bad, not just tv shows))
/likes it better this way

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E_RWAc1uvUQ

Horatio Cornblower

Thanks for the spoiler alert, asshole.

rockingdog

found a funny:

god: i have made Mankind
angels: you fucked up a perfectly good monkey is what you did. look at it. it’s got anxiety

King Hippo

“Wait until I tell ’em to be Jewish!”

Redshirt

Angel: “You sure its smart to plant a Tree of Knowledge Apple Tree in the Garden of Eden?”
God: “Don’t worry. I’ll tell Adam and Eve to leave it alone. It’ll be fine.”

Doktor Zymm

Looking forward to going to the Raiders game tomorrow, even though we live in a weird alternate universe where the Browns are probably the favorite

King Hippo

shall we look for the Kerrigan jersey or what?

Doktor Zymm

Nah, it’s totes weird to wear the jersey of a team not playing. Also, I live in East Bay, so go Raiders, even though you suck!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I like to be even weirder and wear a jersey that is not even the right sport.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Also helps to make statement loudly about a third sport; hockey sweater, “BALL FOUR”, etc. while the other team gets a first down.

Senor Weaselo

For teams that don’t even exist anymore. So Atlanta Thrashers sweaters for everyone!

Doktor Zymm

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theeWeeBabySeamus

If I drink enough, I won’t remember my name tonight.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GOALS!

King Hippo

stern kitty is RIGHT!!!

Senor Weaselo

Why do you think I write music too? Worth a shot.

Horatio Cornblower

‘We’ll see about that!”
-John Wayne Gacy

King Hippo

the Hippo ATS streak will stop at 5 with Original Recipe Team Big Love.

Senor Weaselo

Secular Big Love isn’t extra crispy, is it?

King Hippo

they have MOAR darker-hued folk?

Spur

I still think Washington belongs in the CFB Playoffs.

herodotus450

As long as they stay out of my gun locker then fine #smh

King Hippo

ummmm, they could have easily lost to Herm Edwards (at home). Herm. Edwards.

Senor Weaselo

But he did not end up playing to win the game, as they lost.

King Hippo

is it homophobic to say that Duke is getting its shit pushed in? Because Duke is like, TOTES getting its shit pushed in.

/finally winning a ML bet, 1 of 4 but this was the only $70 bet (2 $30s and 1 $50 lost, will net small profit on these 4).

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

You like any money line dogs tomorrow?

/ not betting. just curious

King Hippo

#ThePauls, the Bungles. Good Ohio day, I guess. MAYBE the Tomsulas even

Redshirt

Bengals over Falcons? You on something and holding out on us, Hippo?

King Hippo

YES and YES

Fronkenshteen

Tomasulas?! C.J. Beathard revenge (for losing his job automatically to Garoppolo) game?

King Hippo

Market overcorrection. CJ Cregg wasn’t performing terribly before Jeanine swooped into town and became the new “it girl.” And the Shitty Clippers are named aptly, and at 10.5 the odds will be right.

Fronkenshteen

Damn I’d love to hang out with you while you’re handicapping. I ask many questions, but will keep the bowl packed.

King Hippo

I have my reasons! I would hate to not have my REASONS for throwing my moneys away. 😀

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“hang out with you while you’re handicapping”

Always thought that genre of porn was weird.

Fronkenshteen

“PARLAYS VOL. 2 – Lay The Wood!”

Doktor Zymm

Nah, that’s not homophobic, and that’s what Duke gets for not scheduling an enema before the game

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THEY FELL BACKWARDS ONTO A FENCE POST.

Fronkenshteen

Look, do I need a PC in order to participate on this website? Apple products seem to be EXTREMELY SUBPAR!!!!!

blaxabbath

No

Fronkenshteen

Great. So we’re back to “I’m an idiot” again. That’s just fucking spiffy.

King Hippo

JOIN teh BlackBerry revolution!!!

/wish I knew how to make the letters backwards like them Ron Paul signs 😀

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

THAT’S RAYCESS!

King Hippo

well, dat just how Dr. Paul roll imo godbless

herodotus450

? Ↄ ⅁

King Hippo

He’s a WITCH!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

My iPenis… iphone works fine.

Redshirt

Download Chrome. It better than whatever the hell iPhone has.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You can use any of the browsers on an iPhone.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

If you follow this advice wear a condom; Chrome is not very secure.

Redshirt

Any browser you recommend?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I have not got any phone pox from Firefox or Opera and both work fine. I did like how Chrome worked until I needed ‘pooder penicillin.

Gratliff

Mobile: Dolphin browser. Get Dolphin Zero if you want a stand-alone incognito mode style browser that wipes everything every time you close it.

Computer: Waterfox. It’s an open-source spin-off of Firefox focused on security and privacy. Get ublock origin and https everywhere extensions. If you’re going to stick with chrome, get ublock origin, https everywhere, ublock origin extra, and maybe even adblock plus just to be safe. We’re at the point that even ads on youtube and shit are trying to run crypto mining from your pc. Ads on news sites, especially local news, have become increasingly malicious.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

DJ Shadow – Nobody Speak feat. Run The Jewels (Official Video)

King Hippo

I’mma push a baby bear in his shit ,, ppl forget that

Redshirt

Ohio State scored a touchdown?

OHIO STATE DID SOMETHING?!

Redshirt

(watching Doctor Who)

Doctor: “Don’t do that. You’ll break reality!”
Humans: “Screw you, we’re doing it.”
(reality breaks)
Humans: “AH! Save us, Doctor!”

herodotus450

This game is eerily similar to osu-tcu: tcu had a 93 yard td play, looked dominant. osu gets a turnover and throws a screen pass for a td. Same thing tonight.

Spur

Ohio State punches one in.

blaxabbath

Haven’t seen such an obvious witness to an osu athlete getting punched in since Gym Jordan

blaxabbath

At the airport now. Just waiting to get on my flight for RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRaaaaaiderzzzzzzzzz!

Redshirt

Well this wouldn’t be the first time Penn State make people sad by messing with some nuts.