The Adventures of Jack Doyle, Private Detective, 1951. Written and directed by Orson Welles
/Doyle’s office
Voice of Jack Doyle: It was a Thursday just like all the other ones. I was washing my balls when there was a knock at the door.
Doyle: “Come in, Jones and hand me that towel, would ya.”
Dame: “You want I should blow dry them too?”
I covered up. I thought my houseboy was knocking. I had to think fast…
Doyle: “Uh… uh… There’s a banana in it for you if you want.”
Fuck! That was stupid. I’m not the best at this sexual entendre stuff
Dame: “You’re not very good at this sexual entendre stuff, are you?”
Doyle: “Listen Peaches, I don’t get paid for my words, I get paid by my actions. What’s the name?”
Dame: “Salsa Innuendo.”
Whoa. I knew at this point that the odds of me getting in over my head were pretty good
Welles: “CUT! CUT! CUT! [buries head in hands] SALSA INNUENDO? WHAT WAS I THINKING?”
Colts/Pats:
Thursdays have been fairly good to us so far this year so I’m thinking this tilt might only be a trash fire rather than what we’ve been treated to in the last few years. Gronk and Edelman are in, T.Y. Hilton is out. At least Luck has Phillip Dorsett to throw to. Scratch that. Luck has started off slow but actually has better numbers than The Brady in a few categories. I’m guessing that tonight the latter makes up some ground. Still, the Pats D is plenty lousy on 3rd and medium (29th) and 3rd and short (26th). Ten points is the spread-place your bets. BTW, the star of our little thingy is out tonight.
Let’s have at ‘er, shall we?
Two things I know: Jimmy Graham played basketball and there are alot of Irish in Boston.
THANKS A FUCK TON NFL EAT MY FUCKING BALL SAC
Do you know where Jerome Bettis is from? No one has ever told me.
In FG range?! Okay, I know the commentators blow the Patriots more than WWE commentators blow Roman Reigns, but 61 yards isn’t in anyone’s normal Field Goal range.
“You paint that ball green and put a dollar sign on it, and that Jew would never drop another ball in his life.”
-Overheard at McStuckey Sorley’s Irish Shitpit Fuck You I Fucked Your Cousin bar in Southy
#ONEOFUS!!!
“If he was black and that ball was a stolen purse, you can be sure he would have caught it.”
—Actually said by a Massachusetts State Police sergeant friend of my cousin.
JEWKAH fucks me over. And me with a perfectly good WASP in Cooper Kupp on the bench (again).
You put Sippy Kupp on the shelf? Dude produces.
1) Don’t wanna chase last week’s points
2) Apparently SeaTruthers’ slot corner is really, really good, and the only good part of pass defense, so likely the other dudes will get this week’s action.
3) I will still put him in the flex if I get bad vibes off Beatie Mixon Sunday.
Tom Brady is apparently the greatest QB ever per the experts, but part of that is playing in a weak division. How good was the NFC West when Joe Montana played?
It’s like when people say LeBorn’s playoff streak is impressive. He played in the East.
Bigger factor for Montana was lack of salcap and being surrounded by a de facto all-star team.
Honestly I’d take montana’s NFC west over the shitty AFC least any day of the weak.
NFC west bad Eric Dickerson and the dome patrol saints.
I cant name a dozen players from Brady’s tenure.
And dont even get me started on the teams in the playoffs. Montana had to deal with parcell’s giants, the monsters of the midway bears at their peak, and joe Gibbs [*Redacted] s.
Brady had to deal with peyton manning, and occasionally the steelers and ravens
OK Tom Brady. I don’t like you, but I’ve got you on my team. Time to throw for 400+ yds and 5 TD’s against this shitty defense so I can kick Don_T’s ass this week. I gotta break my losing streak!!!!
Also, tell Gisele I said “Hey Gurl!!” She’ll know what it means.
Sorry to nitpick but it’s spelled “heigürl”.
Hollaback ‘yo!!!!
I still think Gisele would make a great porn pseudonym, with a slight change in consonants.
I wonder what Lindsey Graham’s girlfriend thinks of his vote on Kav
Hehehehe…yeah sure. “Girl”friend.
I thought John McCain was dead.
LMFAO
that explains the all black suits lately.
This game might suck, but at least that sack on Luck isn’t a foul this week.
Why wasn’t that sack a penalty for falling on the quarterback? Is that just for Clay Matthews?
yes. Fuck the Packers, they unleashed this madness.
We may not see eye to eye on the NFC East but this taek is 100 percent correct.
The Fathumps punted on 1st down? Because it seemed like they did.
Jeez Clots, just … wow that bad.
Their OL is liquid shit
their TE ain’t so great neither. Jeebus.
Their D-line couldn’t cock and fire a revolver quick enough to keep Dreamboat from makng completions.s
well shit I’m already drunk!
Oh, and I didn’t expressly say this earlier. And I’m no P*ts fan by any means.
But fuck the Clots btw. And the Irsays. They can all still go die in a fire 35 years later.
BACK ME UP HERE FOZZ???????
May they stew in the fires of Andy Reid’s butthole for eternity. Cunts.
I’ve always referred to the colts as the league’s most secretly hateable team.
Fuck their self righteousness and they’re complaining about the rules in 03 that led to every team having a 4k passer
To the DFO OVerlords: i started my post about being catholic and all the shit going on with priests and so on
DFO Post idea:
Registered Republican or Practicing Catholic: Who Should Feel Worse?
Yes?
(sorry, had to)
I regularly attend Catholic Church.
that pales in comparison to teh NBA thing imo godbless
Opening night in a few weeks. Go Spurs Go
In hell, only golf and NBA are on sports teevee
I’m wrestiling mightily with this one. But i want to get it done. And I hate talkin’ bout religion
A GOP Senator is having her daughter’s wedding over the weekend.
Quick! Someone ask him a favor and vote “Nay”. We only got one shot at this!
NAWT Jewkah, NAWT FAYUH!!!!
James White seems like the P*triot-est name for a running back evah.
Modern Video Games have ruined me. I’m a huge Mega Man fan so I bought Mega Man 11. I could barely get past the first level. So I put in Mega Man X, and still the same thing.
I used to be able to play Mega Man games with my eyes closed. Now I’m playing like someone with no thumbs.
Son of Hochuli, do you even lift bro?
all teh Jewkah!!
So I fucked up and put a big scratch on the paint of my 1964 Chevy convertible this afternoon and I’m still fucking pissed off. Spent 10 grand on that paint job. Hoping the Pats put a major beat down on Horse tonight to ameliorate my fury.
Did you at least go back and bury the body?
Human flesh would not have done as much damage as was done.
Make yourself a tall cool Todd Haley: that’s a glass full of rubbing alcohol, two cigar butts, a chunk of tar, and two cocktail onions.
Maybe at halftime.
THE LAST TIME I SAW CHAINS TANGLED LIKE THAT WAS THE MOSH PIT AT A RUN DMC CONCERT
I hope the Womenfolk do the Nation proud tomorrow and break those barricades and storm the Hill. Its time to bring back tarring and feathering.
And at the end, if maybe some of them were kind of sweaty and maybe had some torn holes and were hugging, and then kind of brushed lips, and then got kind of kissing more and more . . .sorry, I’m a pig.
Mike Periera, hey paisan! That’s a fucking royal schnoz you got rocking!
I’m not the gay or anything, but I wonder if Hodor’s crotch area pubes resemble his beard and head, because that would be horrifying to see. If I were gay.
DEAR NFL WE ALL FUCKING GET IT – BOSTON IS IRISH. NOW GO SHOVE A FUCKING SHAMROCK SHAKE UP OUR ASSES
I wonder how the line was to pat down Ratajkowski?
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/amy-schumer-arrest-brett-kavanaugh-733221/
Oh Ottawa,
https://twitter.com/CompleteHkyNews/status/1047998295497494529
It’s 76 with a lite breeze in Vegas right now. Windows are open.
It were 90 in North Cakalakt today. Fuck y’all.
But it was a dry heat.
Sort of.
Folks
Conor McGregor bcuz I presume Mayweather wasn’t available?
Jeebus. What a pussy.
Hmm Ice Bombers v Ice Used-be-Rams-Cardinals or this beating. Prove me wrong Gamblor!
Holy shit. I’m a fucking idiot.
If I had a nickel for every time I’ve said that to myself….well, I’d have a shitload of nickels.
BANNER!
So all day today I slow cooked pork ribs and chicken breasts in the crock pot. They turned out well.
Now Imma shred it all and make a stew. I’m so happy that it has cooled off and I can get in the kitchen again without sweating my stank ass off.
Litre – you gots a similar cray-cray hunch play you wanna make? I will commit to mine if’n youse do same.
I do not, I just put 20 on the Colts at 6 to 1 because why the fuck not.
WOW, you got 6 to 1? My hunch bet on the Tomulas at Shitty Clippers wasn’t even 4:1. Close to same point spread.
Faceoffs after an offsides should be moved to the other side of the redline. Why does the offending team retain the positional advantage. Or if you’re feeling really wild, treat it like an icing.
Please kick these national anthems to the curb.
Having a national anthem is stupid. Ours is especially idiotic.
It makes sense “We won’t surrender to anyone or anything” but the lyrics are from 1814 so its outdated.
Also needs more cowbell.
If you want to watch a bunch of nobodies play hockey tonight, check out the Senators vs. Chicago.
Poor poor scotchy
Can’t remember. Your team?
Red Wings, we will be in the basement with you for a while.
I has much more faith in your scouting crew. They pick out gems all the time. You’ll bounce back.
In this fucked-up world, we need the sweet sarcasm of Bob’s Burgers more than ever. Was glad to find season preimere in mah DVR this am.
Hippo youse have Edelman against me eh?
I do indeed. Tis a tight 53/47 matchup, I need him scooping up passes like they’s nickels on teh sidewalk 2nite!
Keep reading about Xavien Howard shutting down AJ Green, seriously thinking about benching him for the just-acquired Valdez-Scantling. Because I just have to be that fucking guy sometimes.
Hard to contain Valdez
If none of the Packers Big-3 receivers are able to start this weekend, here’s the members of that Key & Peele sketch A.A.Ron will be throwing to:
– Marquez Valdes-Scantling,
– J’Mon Moore
– Equanimeous St. Brown
MVS went to NC State! I need to invent an excuse to start him in DFO ball.
/down to business
Derrick Henry vs. Buffalo or Corey Davis vs. Buffalo
I’ll hang up and listen to your answer…
It has to be Henry but like a sucker I have been feeling that all year. I am dumb.
I agree with Litre. Therefore, you should probably go with Davis
That shithead will go for 175 and 3 TDs after I drop him. I know it.
On the theory “you shouldn’t chase last week’s points” it’s Henry, but Davis is like #11 in this week’s Rotowire WR rankings, and is now Mariota’s unquestioned #1 target. I might flip a coin, unless PPR then deffo Davis.
I’m doing Davis but I need to rant about Henry.
I started Jonnu Smith one week, then went back to my general practice of avoiding Los Titanicos for fantasy purposes. Too unpredictable.
When I think of an open democratic process, the first thing that comes to mind is barricades…
the “Free Speech Zones” at the military bases Lindsey protested on Arrested Development?
Fuck it, dude. This is America.
Best Method To Find Out You Have A T-Shirt That Is Of A High Quality:
When you’re taking a dump, pull it over your head. If you can see the far wall, it’s shit. If not, it’s aces.
My bigger concern would be having to pull my shirt over my head while taking a dump.
You must poo in those restrooms the Religious Right warned everyone about in the 80s.
As some of you know, I’m an amateur photography buff. I’m not particularly good at it, IMHO, but occasionally I get one right. Mostly, I’ve only ever done wildlife, skyscapes and waterscapes. I’ve never really done live human models (phrasing) aside from one person with whom I’m no longer associated for reasons.
However…
It seems those photos have been noticed, and well-received and I’ve been asked to join a group, a local group here in NC, which pairs photographers with models in a safe space type of environment, so that the models are not in danger, etc. etc. But it’s for doing nudes and implied nudes.
And I’m considering it because I would like to learn and expand my skillset. But just between you’s and me, I think this could get me into a lot of trouble in one form or another.
smgdh
Congrats on your talent being recognized. And – not to sound the average angry white male – but make sure you have someone in the room with you at all times. Seriously. Then send boob pictures to us! Nah, I keed, but be careful.
I can see your incipient boner from here…
How in the name of fuck could ANY of us possibly make the cutoff FOAR “safe space” status? (no ofence)
I am usually too stoned to be risky.
oh, I present no ACTUAL risk (as do most of us), but I put off repellent vibes (as I presume is also true for at least a majority).
You’ll be fine. Once you get into photographer mode, you’ll see him like a canvas and you will not even think about sucking his dick.
LMFAO
“You can think about it, but don’t do it!!!”
It appears to be a mostly alt model type thing. Which mostly wouldn’t be a temptation for me to be honest.
But the first time a cute little thing with blonde/pink hair rolled in, I might get arrested n junk.
Fuck you.
Just do it.
Yeah, I think I probably will.
Can we talk freely about last night’s Sunny now? Dennis calling Jamie from Progressive soy boy beta cuck was the memorable line but only like moment #7 in the last 7-8 minute montage of perfection.
Dee is indeed a Golden Goddess, though.
No spoilers!!!!!!
I’m still behind on getting caught up on TeeVee.
being behind on other shit is one thing, but I been in and out of teh hospital and I stay current on Sunny ,, smgdh
now Fear teh Walking Ded? meh…
I’m actually up to date on FtWD. Go Morgan, go Morgan!!!!!
But still an episode behind on Saul, Sunny and Snowfall.
Watching TV is hard.
Almost done with season finale of Snowfall.
Mrs. Fozz gets home from Vegas tonight. I would try for some of the old in and out, but I don’t perform well when I’m on the A Train to Blackout City. Sorry babe.
Pray for an earth-killing meteor.
With all those protesters in DC…all I’m saying is Washington’s been burnt before and for far less nobler reasons.
Is that a real word?
It’s a perfectly cromulent word
the womenfolk should all just stop having sex with us. See how fast shit starts to change.
/no change FOAR me obvs, but I am already on they side politically
And not for Moderate Republicans like me because I’m not evil, just slightly wrong, and they’ll need a foil to show how right they are.
Yeah … Sure.
Rosie Palm and her five sisters have never let me down.
Women in Iceland did this once and it worked.
People in the U.S. are too fucking stupid and petty and spiteful to ever do this because millions of women in this stupid country would go out of their way to be sluts just to fuck with the protesters because everyone in this country is an asshole. The main reason why this will never happen is simply the fact that basically every woman in this stupid country (and the men, if we ever had anything we were willing to fight for) are too lazy and complacent to bother.
Yup. By the time people smarten up, it’ll be too late
Ah, Patriots beating up on some hapless AFC opponent. Eases the pain.
I have to cheer for JEWKAH! and against Nyheim Hines for fantasy reasons. I hate myself MOAR than usual.
I want to stick Edelman’s face in the Ark of the Covenant and watch that motherfucker melt. I hate the almighty fuck out of that dickshit.
as do I, but he was $2 at auction and I spent heavy at RB (Gurley, David Johnson, Beatie Mixon). I couldn’t NOT take him, then he fell to me in DFO again so I doubled down on evil.