Much like any Giants fan I’ll be obligated to watch their eventual embarrassing demise vs. Carolina. But like many folks that like football in and of itself, the Jags/Chiefs game is must-eyeball TV. Also, we’ve got some pre-NFL appetizers on in the form of EPL action. TO THE GAMES!
Den/NYJ:
This is the story of “The Two Case Keenums”. One is a dreadful pocket passer with a QB rating of 66.7-that’s dead last among starters. T’udder is the out-of-pocket tosser. He’s 6th in the league at a 108.6 clip. Gentlemen, start your roll-outs! I figure the Denver D has enough juice left in it to throw rook qb Darnold under the short bus.
Mia/Cin:
Despite being down Gio and deep threat wr Ross it seems likely that Cincy should have little trouble with the “They are who we thought they were” 3-1 Fins.
Atl/Pitt:
The Falc’s O can play with anyone. Their D cannot and they are missing their best player on the line, at lb and in the secondary. If the weather is fine this game should remind me of my fave video game ever-Pong.
NYG/Car:
I’ve no idea what to make of the 2-1 Panthers coming off their too-early-in-the-season bye. So I’ll just say this (again). Play wr Shepard in your flex. He’s caught 16-17 targets the last two tilts and you know what they say about volume… You don’t? “Eureka!” is what they say about volume. Can I make my argument stronger? Slot cb Bradberry has given up a TD and 205 yards vs. Beasley and Tyler Boyd.
Jax/KC:
Here it is. I don’t expect too much out of KC’s wr’s but Hunt catching out of the backfield and te Kelce vs. an lb should produce some results. Enjoy.
GB/Det:
The Pack might be down both Cobb and Geronimo but Rodgers always finds a way. Now’s the time to play that hunch you have on their 5th string wideout.
Bal/Cle:
I find it very difficult, even impossible, to cheer for the Ravens. There, I said it.
Ten/Buf:
If rb Henry doesn’t run wild on the Bills league-worst rushing D then drop his sorry buttocks immediately after this game and don’t look back. This one should be over at about the same time as the first quarter.
Go Man City!
No hands on that KHunt
Mahomes giving Watkins shit. I fucking love it!
Donks’ new punter is shitty, but shitty and white so he will probably stick around.
Let’s go Lions!! Eat Lion Dick, Packers!
Galladay is alive after all, yay!
This is going to be the typical Ravens – Browns ugly ass fest where somehow the Browns derp away the game in like a kick six.
Mahomes is favoring an ankle.
I have to repeat this every week, but Garret Bolles is liquid shit.
God friended me will be canceled soon.
Replaced with the Holy Spirit swiped right on me
…and replaced with jesus swatted me
Satan would like to connect with you on LinkedIn.
Finally to be concluded with “God doesn’t give a shit about humanity and only briefly did, long enough for us to torture and murder his only son and after that he was like ‘fuck it, I’ll just go make a planet full of dogs instead.'”
Really CBS? Your Scouting Report says the Bengals weakness is the TE Position. So nothing about the O-line being so bad that Dalton has 2 seconds before he has a defender in his face?
If you want to see almost-tackling done to perfection, check out Samuel’s TD vs. the Giants just now.
I count five.
but i thought Eli was the reason they suck?
Only determinists believe that.
Given that Europe has rules on how big of a shit you can take in one sitting, how much trouble do you think I would get in for using a stream to follow the Ravens-Browns game?
I’m assuming 5 years in the Hague with some African war lord as a room mate.
I don’t think it is a big deal. I always do it at hotels/bnb’s etc.
oh, Jest. NEVAR CHANGE!!!
Remember my one prediction that looks ok – Gigantes/Black Panthers FG-kakke
Bobby Seale has got himself a big leg…
Blount scoring that bunny is my season in a nutshell.
Bortcannon!
Donks. Make with some good defensing!
Derrick Henry has 4 yards already!
Hippo Willed IT
That’s a critical 0.4!
/also MOAR than MV-S gots
Yeah, but they’re ELITE ESS-EEE-CEE yards!
Off to the weed store. Anybody need anything?
“Is there any weed at that store?”
-T. Green
Say hi to Josh Gordon for me
[starts Crabtree for lack of better options]
[Crabtree immediately drops two passes]
That’s My Ex-Raiders!
the taint is permanent
/Donks put Marquette King on IR and plan to release him once healthy
oh yeah, that’s why one no trust Red Rocket
Jags must have Ramsey for this game. I think the Jags D will be alright.
Another Ginger Volleyball Pick.
Fuck your Cheese! – Blount
That’s Mahomes-y!!!
Ruh roh. Ramsey ded?
Reading Hill’s mind?
Baker-ception.
As I’ve said before, this is shaping up to be the biggest and best Andy Reid playoff collapse yet.
“KELCE, KELCE, KELCE!”
/yeah, he’s on my roster
I do think Ramsey will shut down Tyreek as a receiver
This Just In-I still like Romo as an announcer.
spirit animal!!
It just gets weirder and weirder…
WOW, that’s some catch for a fullback. Love how excited Romo is to call a game that doesn’t involve “name” sides.
Crabtree regretting the choice of Old Bay gloves for this game.
Howdy, folks. Went for a hike, washed my car, and made a BELTCH sammich for lunch. Now all that’s left for today is to watch the games and eat a shitload of turkey dinner. Life is awfully, awfully good for me today.
Bacon, egg, lettuce, tomato, cheese, ham?
CH for cheese. Dunno why it’s special enough to merit two letters, but the sammich was damn tasty.
Watkins negates a monster gain from Hunt. You can take the player out of Buffalo…
Holy shit, that fake pitch
Here we go, Mahomes vs Jags D time.
passing the test so far
Man, remember before that Eagles opener how many people said this was the year Atlanta was poised to hit the next level?
Next level of washed up
if by next-level you mean next-level-of-fucking-the-dog, then yes, they are hitting the next level this year
[Lousy too-high, behind him pass that he makes for a one-handed grab]
“Thank heavens for good old Eli.”
-OBJ
STILL don’t get why he left Olivia for…her.
He likes athletic brunettes. Clearly a leg man, not a tit man. I am with him there.
true I guess, but damn…
yeah, I ain’t saying I had an issue with Olivia AT ALL!! 😀
/he may have needed more an introverted weirdo-type, which I also understand
Dude in money league also played Chris Carson and Phillip Lindsay ahead of Kerryon Johnson. This made me happy.
All youse guys that don’t get Jax/KC-just move up to The Canada right now. The best thing I can say is that the place isn’t a goddamn shit show.
I would be very happy to live in Canadia, but not sure about your sportsball coverage (JV-wise)
My sports package gets 5 channels of (mostly) ESPN feeds on top of all the regular channels. I can’t recall the last time anyone was watching a game on this site that I didn’t have access to.
Let’s go Fuck Lions.
Oh fuck. It’s october.
Tell that to Mother Nature.
well, this City/Redshite match has surely not lived up to the hype train.
jaguras vs chefs, and it might be a good game?
is this 1995?
First time in 3 years I recall preparing to flip to non-RZ for a non-Donks matchup
Could also be a sloppy shitfest in the rain.
/Ratings unexpectedly go up in Germany
And today, we get our annual appearance of the Cincinnati Jack-O’-Lanterns. Nevermind, we’re getting Orange and White. Its the Cincinnati Orange Creams.
/Several tv sets turn on in the Executive Residence
I just had an extended phone conversation with the Veterinarian who was my mentor. Even before I got into Vet School.
I am both very happy to have heard from him, and very sad to hear that he’s….well…not doing great these days.
I will be planning a trip to the mtns of NC in the next week or two. I expect to cry some.
/sighs heavily
Checking listings:
T’Challas v Jints
Ratbirds v #ThePauls
Skol! v Iggles
Alas, no Jaguras v Chefs for me.
South TX gets Jax/KC and NYG/CAR for the earlies. Guess it’s because both games feature teams with HOU/DAL division rivals?
CBS actually was pretty decent at letting most folk have the good game this week
https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=103&v=FqUKEhyvFaM
Consume, baby!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JI8AMRbqY6w
Why are people like this?