Your “There Is Only One Game Today” Sunday Morning/Early Afternoon Multi-Purpose Post

Much like any Giants fan I’ll be obligated to watch their eventual embarrassing demise vs. Carolina. But like many folks that like football in and of itself, the Jags/Chiefs game is must-eyeball TV. Also, we’ve got some pre-NFL appetizers on in the form of EPL action. TO THE GAMES!

Den/NYJ:

This is the story of “The Two Case Keenums”. One is a dreadful pocket passer with a QB rating of 66.7-that’s dead last among starters. T’udder is the out-of-pocket tosser. He’s 6th in the league at a 108.6 clip. Gentlemen, start your roll-outs! I figure the Denver D has enough juice left in it to throw rook qb Darnold under the short bus.

Mia/Cin:

Despite being down Gio and deep threat wr Ross it seems likely that Cincy should have little trouble with the “They are who we thought they were” 3-1 Fins.

Atl/Pitt:

The Falc’s O can play with anyone. Their D cannot and they are missing their best player on the line, at lb and in the secondary. If the weather is fine this game should remind me of my fave video game ever-Pong.

NYG/Car:

I’ve no idea what to make of the 2-1 Panthers coming off their too-early-in-the-season bye. So I’ll just say this (again). Play wr Shepard in your flex. He’s caught 16-17 targets the last two tilts and you know what they say about volume… You don’t? “Eureka!” is what they say about volume. Can I make my argument stronger? Slot cb Bradberry has given up a TD and 205 yards vs. Beasley and Tyler Boyd.

Jax/KC:

Here it is. I don’t expect too much out of KC’s wr’s but Hunt catching out of the backfield and te Kelce vs. an lb should produce some results. Enjoy.

GB/Det:

The Pack might be down both Cobb and Geronimo but Rodgers always finds a way. Now’s the time to play that hunch you have on their 5th string wideout.

Bal/Cle:

I find it very difficult, even impossible, to cheer for the Ravens. There, I said it.

Ten/Buf:

If rb Henry doesn’t run wild on the Bills league-worst rushing D then drop his sorry buttocks immediately after this game and don’t look back. This one should be over at about the same time as the first quarter.

Go Man City!

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King Hippo

Wolfe pickerception WOO!!!

King Hippo

Darnold has completed a total of FIVE forward passes, but they leads 21-10 because life sucks and we get no respite from Rapey Justice Week.

litre_cola

He looks like Big Daddy Drew

King Hippo

with the requisite Touch of Downs

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Except against pregnant girlfriends.

King Hippo

at least the venison jerky I just consumed was very good.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Bobbitt used a serrated edged knife.

[shutters]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GODDAMNIT!

LemonJello

Ratbirds D able to contain the Chubb so far today.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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You HAD to watch them?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s beyond comprise, that is the WWII invasion of Poland.

fleshwound_NPG

I’m thankful for never watching it in the first place

Spur

Rodgers retires at halftime.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Green Bay being bad is way more delicious than I had anticipated.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

[mishears something about “greens being delicious”, shakes head]

– Andy Reid

Fronkenshteen

Anderson’s 2nd was a sweet pea.

Gratliff

Susan Collins believes the Green Bay Packers are missing field goals but doesn’t think it is Mason Crosby doing it based on his past record.

— Tony Posnanski (@tonyposnanski) October 7, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Spur

AWESOME

fleshwound_NPG

fucking bravo

...

I could probably laugh at this if I believed that barren gargoyle cunt would suffer any consequences for being aggressively stupid and/or evil.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Nice.

King Hippo

Should Denver lose to the Jest and fall to 2-3 (with road game at KC pending), they should move to the #SwagWagon and see what they’ve got ahead of the 2019 Draft.

Either get confidence you’ve found a future QB, or get a Top 5-7 pick so you can draft Ryan Finley (the perfect Kubes pupil).

/Moose, please grade mah crazy in word and/or gif form

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No way you are telling the team you are giving up at this point in the season. That just completely pisses off players to pull that shit.

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King Hippo

Fair point. I am not giving up as much as acknowledging that Keenum is a “stopgap” QB meant to prop up an otherwise deep playoffs roster, and they’ve proven themselves…not that.

You could argue the team just needs “spark” or more ceiling from QB now.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That justification would have ‘panic’ written all over it. But there is a point where you have to try something else, but Vance is in a struggle to keep his job; that will determine the choice for now.

Fronkenshteen

[spoonerizes “Pubes Kukil”]

[giggles moronically]

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Stroke it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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That was obvious hands to the face.

Spur

Just run the ball Jags. Just run the ball.

fleshwound_NPG

with multiple injured RBs now and down by 20, we’re gonna get maximum bort!

The Maestro

MAXIMUM BORTLES!!!

Spur

Rodgers is getting wrecked. Awesome

Gratliff

Packers are going to end Rodgers’ career to go 6-9-1 and finish 4th in the North

King Hippo

they seriously have to rest A.A. Ron for the 2nd half. They won’t, but they have to.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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I have a lot to do today; might as well blow it off.

fleshwound_NPG

Bortception went off his own fat man this time

litre_cola

Oh Bortles, bad week to be you again.

fleshwound_NPG

MOAR BORTCEPTIONS!!!

King Hippo

Bort is Bort

King Hippo

The only good thing about today is the 29.3 Robby Anderson points (and that WAS his best play, with Ginn still in WR2 slot and Jordy his only remaining alternative) on my money league foe’s bench.

/also don;t think Bradley Roby is getting that extended contract he wants

Redshirt

I see Darnald is putting up Tebowian numbers.

King Hippo

Jesus Fucking Christ, Donks

King Hippo

BELIEVELAND!!!

/Lucy warming up

LemonJello

The tie is still in play for #thePauls.

King Hippo

The Ben force it right in HARF!!!

WHAT? The Ben no have trouble before??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Things are not well in Litreland. FF and Gamblor are having there way with me. On the lookout for Darren Sharper.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You are awake while it’s happening.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Horatio Cornblower

You’ve always got Fulham to fall back o….

Oh. Oh dear.

Mr. Ayo

HARF HARF HARF

...

Seeing how aggressively mediocre the Packers have been thus far, Nagy taking the foot off the gas in that that opening week loss is extra infuriating.

King Hippo

Was just ferreting out non-believers. #PROPHECY

fleshwound_NPG

To be fair, he hasn’t looked like Andy Reid 2.0 since

...

If he’s actually learned something, I can swallow the humiliation of that loss.

King Hippo

Just NAWT Juju, please.

Horatio Cornblower

If you work out that hard, treat yourself to something a hell of a lot better than Michelob Ultra

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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fleshwound_NPG

That Fat Man TD Pick Six that Blake Bortles just threw is now going to be used as part of the Colin Kaepernick collusion case.

Spur

Bortles is BACK!

...

I will only play in a fantasy football league that offers bonus points for novelties such as fat man pick sixes.

King Hippo

that was a really nice Fat Guy TD, too. He actually made a move!

King Hippo

#ThePauls!!!!

/how shall they fuck it all up this week?

King Hippo

ALL TEH MISSED PLACEMENTS!!!

litre_cola

There it is.

Mr. Ayo

They could at least do something new. We’ve seen this one already.

Horatio Cornblower

This week?

Fronkenshteen

LOLphins!!! Built for fucking SPEED!!!!

LemonJello

I thought cocaine was more prevalent in South Beach.

Gatoraids

Felt a bit silly having Mason and picking up zueelein on waivers out of spite…not so bad now

fleshwound_NPG

BORTPICKSIX FATMANTD!!!

...

FAT MAN PICK SIX LOL

LemonJello

Under a minute in the half, #thePauls driving. They’re gonna run out of time and go into the half with no points, right?

blaxabbath

#ThatsMyThePauls!

LemonJello

Touched down, #thePauls. Hue’s headset must have cut out.

Immediately followed by DOINK!s appearance.

Jeebus wept.

Gatoraids

Cinci determined to be down by 14 before half

Doktor Zymm

Goddamn, and he was doing so well first three games

Spur

Rodgers is going to give Crosby a paddling

King Hippo

Buttkicker for the Chefs turned out to be quite good.

Redshirt

Miami Defense: “Poor Bengals. They always go to the Wide Receiver Screen that never works.”
Cincinnati Offense: “Heh, heh. Good old Wide Receiver Screen. It never fails.”

King Hippo

I love, LOVE watching a placement kicker melt down.