Your “Vengeance Written In My Eyes” Saturday Evening Open Thread

It was a pretty good week – it hasn’t rained in Vancouver in almost two weeks. The view across the water at the big city has been really, really nice.

Also, I figured out the proper pizza : alcohol ratio at night in order to keep me pleasant at work the next day. Sometimes, it’s the small victories that are the sweetest.

It did kind of suck that Le’Veon ruined my pieces by not actually returning, but that’s the capricious nature of blogging. Oh well – TO THE ALCOHOL GAMES!


Tonight’s sports:

  • MLB:
    • Dodgers at Brewers – 8:00PM | FS1 / Sportsnet
      • Game 7, Bay-Bay!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FSTyAiCaoG8

  •  NHL:
    • Blues at Leafs – 7:00PM | CBC / NHLN
    • Habs at Sens – 7:00PM | Sportsnet / City
    • Bruins at Canucks – 10:00PM | Sportsnet / City
    • Preds at Oilers – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NCAA:
    • Mississippi State at LSU – 7:00PM | ESPN
    • UCF at East Carolina – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Fresno State at New Mexico – 7:00PM | ESPNU
    • Ohio State at Purdue – 7:30PM | ABC
    • Oregon at Washington State – 7:30PM | FOX
    • Arizona at UCLA – 10:30PM | ESPN2
  • CFL:
    • Roughriders at Stampeders – 7:00PM | TSN
  • NBA:
    • Rockets at Lakers – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN
    • Raptors at Wizards – 7:00PM | TSN2

Get a good night’s sleep – the London game is at 10:00AM Eastern. DON’T FORGET TO IRISH THOSE COFFEES!

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Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Brick Meathook

I’m just gonna come out and say it:

3M adhesive bandages are far superior to Johnson & Johnson

Fight me, bro

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Given that I have no bandages of any type handy, I must decline.

litre_cola

You should, sonofspam is waiting under your bed.

Spanky Datass

So you are saying you are not “Stuck on Band-Aid” ™ because Band-Aid is not stuck on you?

Brick Meathook

I am indeed saying this.

Brocky

I don’t like osu as much as the next guy but…..

Get your shit together Buckeyes. You need to keep Notre dame out of the playoffs.

Also I could do without purdue fans talking about their one win over a ranked team in the last 18 years

theeWeeBabySeamus

Soooo…. Red Sox/Dodgers.

That should be fun. At least one of them has to lose.

Brick Meathook

The Dodgers will lose this game. The Dodgers always lose. It’s what they do.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nah. They got this. Milwaukee ain’t got the comeback spirit. They’re done.

Brick Meathook

We shall see, shall we?

theeWeeBabySeamus

I suppose we shall.

Brick Meathook

Well, goddam. I guess you were right.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Local team vs. my childhood team. For me this would be like watching the Clippers play the Celtics for the NBA title.

yeah right

PUIG!

theeWeeBabySeamus

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Mr. Ayo

PUPPERS!

litre_cola

Oh you.

litre_cola

Writes game over on wall with crayon that I slipped on.

Spanky Datass

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Mr. Ayo

#PuigYourFriend

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Apple Watch? More like Harrass-pple Watch, amirite?

litre_cola

There is something afoot in humpland!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The dog park?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Yup, just hangs up on her. Right in her face!

yeah right

Stuck in your craw didn’t it?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

DAMNED MILLENNIALS! NO MANNERS!

yeah right

Ola mister WCS.

Spanky Datass

The Dodgers third basedman’s doppelganger is on the Oregon QUACK! sideline.

Viva La Tabula Raza

No way this Purdue lead holds. Though it would be nice if it did.

Mr. Ayo

It won’t. tOSU can’t keep it that close.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ole Sly’s starting to show his age. *looks in mirror* FUUUUUCK!

yeah right

I visited my uncle awhile back, he’s almost 90 and he said “Boy, you sure look like my brother” my Dad he meant.

And goddamn my dad is staring back at me in the mirror.

The grey hair adds touch of sophistication.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Is there a team where all of the players do that thing with the dirt on their helmets? Cause that team should be known as the turd-heads.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This ump appears to be very generous with the lower part of the strike zone.

Unsurprised

Where is everyone?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I’m in Los Angeles, in my living room.

SonOfSpam

I’m under your bed.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Unless you’re Doug Martin, you’re not gonna fit down there. It’s like 1″ of clearance.

SonOfSpam

That’s why you dig a trench first. It’s like you’ve never even murdered anyone.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Not ambush-style, no.

Brick Meathook

County lockup. Again.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m at an undisclosed location, considering eating something and masturbating.
Not necessarily in that order.

SonOfSpam

Gonna add “mayo” to a sandwich?

ballsofsteelandfury

Santa Monica

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh you asshole. Are you really?

SonOfSpam

Are you gonna swim out past the breakers, watch the world die?

Spanky Datass

Deep in a bottle of Bourble, so … home?

Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m located directly above the center of the earth.

SonOfSpam

You are also directly above the center of Uranus.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Is that you, Dr. Sagan?

Mr. Ayo

I’m in Seattle. Facing north.

litre_cola

Do they throw fish at Pike’s Market?
– J Bettis
Detroit, Michigan

Game Time Decision

At your mom’s
/ sorry. Bad joke

yeah right

Chilling at home in El Segundo. It’s finally down to 72 but damn it’s beautiful out.
Cheers!

litre_cola

Who the fuck is the cheesedick next to Marlins Man.?

Unsurprised

Mrs. Marlins Man?

yeah right

He’s from Chicago. Seen him at a few Cubs games. Consensus is he’s a White Sox fan.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

The M&M shill?

yeah right

Yep.

Brocky

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theeWeeBabySeamus

D’awwwwww

Brocky

One of the drawbacks to having a tiny dog, it’s not as comical when they just do random stupid shit

theeWeeBabySeamus

Alexa, how many times have the Dodgers won the world series?
Alexa: Who gives a shit?

But they got swept by the Orioles in ’66 when tWBS was in utero and his pregnant mother was in physical attendance at game three. 1-0 win.

Wally Bunker was the winning pitcher.
Yes, I know none of you have ever heard of him.

SonOfSpam

Sure, had a son-in-law named Meathead. Didn’t care for minorities,

theeWeeBabySeamus

NO GODDAMMIT THAT’S ARCHIE!!!!!!!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

This is the first time I have noticed that in the Apple watch ad the guy hangs up on Sofia while she is still talking to him.

Brick Meathook

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scotchnaut

Fucking Acme and their shit products…

theeWeeBabySeamus

I still don’t know how OSHA hasn’t shut them down yet.

Viva La Tabula Raza

The Republicans put one of Acme’s VPs in charge of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. It’s toothless, pretty much like OSHA.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Didn’t they get bought out by Amazon?

OSHA, I mean. They seem like a prime target for regulatory capture.

Spanky Datass

“ACME! It’s what your cock craves!” ™comment image

rockingdog

found a funny:
i was in the grocery store and a prince song was playing. over the intercom i hear “richard. come to the deli. richard”
30 seconds later the same thing “richard. richard. come to the deli please” and some guy out of nowhere yelled “cmon richard you’re fuckin up this prince song”

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You wouldn’t have to tell me to come to the deli twice.”

– Andy Reid

Unsurprised

“Cleanup to the deli”

scotchnaut

“Hey guys, guess what I did today?”

-Mike Leach, to the other hobos huddled around the garbage can fire

litre_cola

So the winner of this gets Baltimore for all the marbles eh? The big enchilada.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I’m ready to toss it in game one, coach. I’ll work for league minimum.

litre_cola

You! Vet boy! You’re on the hot corner! And FOR FUCK SAKES TAKE OFF THAT CUP YOU PANSY. YOU DONT WANT YOUR DICK HIT? THEN PLAY SOME FUCKING D.

Brocky

So as someone without access to a live tv feed….

Wanna post a picture of cleavage girl?

Mr. Ayo

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theeWeeBabySeamus

LMFAO.
I think Ayo might need a new TV Box.

Mr. Ayo

I may have overpaid for that lasik surgery.

theeWeeBabySeamus

This is from last night. Couldn’t capture live from tonight.
Just above the NL in “NLCS”. Next to the dipshit in the bright orange.
Click on it and it’ll get bigger. Phrasing.
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Mr. Ayo

Or just go to her web site. frontrowamy.com

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nooooo….really?

Mr. Ayo

Look, I just learned her name 5 minutes ago. I’ve learned far more tonite than I planned.

yeah right

I’m aware because I’m a Cubs fan and I watch about 150 Cubs games a year. Brewers are in the same division so lots of games in Milwaukee. Always a nice diversion.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Yes, really.
Jeebus.

Spanky Datass

If you just catch a glimpse of the SSK QB’s name on his jersey it looks like “COLLARDS” … as in greens.

BC Dick

How much fun did the stamps have in Montreal? I was counting on them to beat mr. green tonight so BC can steal that home playoff game.

scotchnaut

Apologies if you’ve seen this but I just came across it today. It’s repeated a few times but holy cats!https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e_jW2Qm0nuM

theeWeeBabySeamus

That’s gravity for you. One minute you’re trying to eat a mountain goat, the next minute you’re falling to your hideous death.

Brocky

You know sometimes, when you have a long days, a stupid joke image will inexplicably crack you up

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theeWeeBabySeamus

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theeWeeBabySeamus

When you give up a 3-2 single to the #8 hitter to put two on with two out, it should give you some pause.
Sounds like a good time to PH.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Oh God. How many Former Orioles who couldn’t manage to do shit in Baltimore are in this fucking game?

OK Schoop, I still like ya. Make me proud.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Or not.

Gratliff

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Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“Spoils it.”

– me, talking about any sporting event that features Joe Buck as an announcer.

scotchnaut

Cougars up 20 on the Ducks, as nature intended.

Mr. Ayo

So the Cougs are better than the Huskies?

Actually, that checks out.

scotchnaut

Aww crap. Oh well.

scotchnaut

A girl with boobies at the baseball game? Huh.

[looks both ways, makes sure no one is watching me-switches channel to baseball for first time this year]

Gratliff

Oh shit. Prime has Fist of the North Star. Now I know how I’ll get through the night.

Brick Meathook

When was the last day that Joe Buck was not on television?

Brick Meathook

There’s nothing sadder than when Joe Buck tries to be “cool.”

theeWeeBabySeamus

Nice shot Bellinger.
Now tuck your fucking shirt in you fucking slob.

Mr. Ayo

Cleavage gal is back!

theeWeeBabySeamus

And she’s scoring the game.
Kudos to her. And her boobies.

yeah right

That’s Front Row Amy. She’s awesome.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I think I met a stripper by that name once.

Brick Meathook

Marlins Man?

Mr. Ayo

How do I know about Marlins Man but not her?

Man, life is cruel.

yeah right

Go ahead and Google. We’ll wait.

Mr. Ayo

Aww, they’re fakes!

yeah right

M&Ms dude is there too. Now all we need is Pink Hat guy from Wrigley.

yeah right

She keeps score for every game. A lost art.

Brick Meathook

Panama hat radar gun guy.

yeah right

The corpse of Larry King couldn’t make the trip from LA.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Well, Manny Machado. You sneaky motherfucker.

theeWeeBabySeamus

da Fuq is up with LSU and the blue helmets?
I thought I’d tuned in to Boise State for a sec.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

We hiked about 5.5 miles this morning, and I’m exhausted. Even the dog basically ran out of gas. The upside was that we could see the ocean from like 15 miles inland.

scotchnaut

The best thing about a long hike is that you can reward yourself with any amount of food/beverages afterwards and not feel guilty about it.

ballsofsteelandfury

I’m looking at the ocean right now holding a beer and eating a pizza. Life is good.

yeah right

Went to the gym instead of taking the walk so I missed my ocean view. Kind of hot out there.

theeWeeBabySeamus

I did a spontaneous hot dog cook out, in the fire pit, for the niece. Her request.
Fortunately, she didn’t set either of us on fire and the Hebrew Nationals were good.

yeah right

That sounds fun. When I was still married we had a house in San Pedro that had a massive back yard with an open fire pit. I miss that place but not the yard work. That shit took the whole damn weekend to do properly.

theeWeeBabySeamus

She enjoyed it. She doesn’t get much from home so I try to give her some fun when I have her.

Spanky Datass

Made an asparagus tart with Gruyere cheese. Tasty!

yeah right

I’m intrigued!

Spanky Datass

I discovered that frozen puff-pastry is a good thing.
/is a tuuurible baker

yeah right

I’ll be going radio silent for a bit. Got the Dodgers/ Brewers recorded.

Rooting for the meteor.

scotchnaut

Switch over to Washington right now. Weirdo play gets the TD.

yeah right

Thai food for dinner. The yellow curry and pad see ew were both delicious. Could use some adjustments on the orange chicken though. Closer to orange chicken meatballs. Different.

Time for massive beer consumption!

Brick Meathook

In twenty years of eating Thai food the only thing I’ve ever had is Pad Thai. I even mention it when I’m looking at the menu, and then I go ahead and order Pad Thai anyway. At this point it’s like a tradition and I don’t want to break the streak.

yeah right

Order a second item and go crazy.
If they have it try the spicy catfish. Awesome.

yeah right

Have you been to Thai Talay? It’s right in your neighborhood.

Brick Meathook

No. On that block I’ve only been to the rib joint, the head shop, and got my bike fixed there too. I’ll give it a try!

yeah right

It’s right across from the weed store!

Brick Meathook

I go to the weed store on Pershing. That’s the original Up In Smoke Fiberweed van that’s usually parked out front:
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yeah right

My brother has been there but I usually go to LAX. The girls behind the counter are worth the trip.

Brick Meathook

I remember! They’re pretty stoned at Pershing and the last time I was there the guy gave me back more in change than I handed over to him. I gave it back to him but if they do it again I’m keeping it.

scotchnaut

Oregon is all kinds of rattled and the refs are treating them like Alabama.

rockingdog

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Boo!

theeWeeBabySeamus

That dog might be racist.
Just saying.

scotchnaut

Mike Leach has the look of a guy that wasn’t able to beat that vagrancy charge but is happy to be getting 3 squares a day for the next month and a half.

yeah right

The Tomsula school of life.

Redshirt

Let’s see. I can either watch the Ohio Senate Debate or I can grab a pair of tweezers and pluck out my body hairs one at a time.

Decisions…decisions….

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Part of me wonders whether Republicans’ insistence that they believe things that are obvious horseshit for no other reason than to piss off liberals (i.e. Khashoggi died in a fight, global warming is a hoax) is them playing the long game as a backlash to liberals insisting they believe in things that are obvious horseshit to piss off Republicans (i.e. witchcraft/Satanism).

Unsurprised

Spite, dude. It’s all spite.

yeah right

Today the Reedley Tigers hosted San Jose.

Ahem.

31-7 Reedley fucking Tigers!

Eight and OH!

Mr. Ayo

TO THE ALCOHOL GAMES!

Fixed that for you.

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