Ye olde Jizziants have begun the housecleaning and who knows where it shall end. When The Wreck of The Ereck Flowers was jettisoned the initial reaction was, ‘hey, someone in management finally watched some game tape!” and did what anyone would do. But lo, next to go was the Apple of ex-GM Jerry Reese’s eye. Kinda surprising given that the Giants have maintained that the secondary is thin as far as footballers go. But they get a fourth rounder next year. (and a 7th in a year after) The news that Damon “Snacks” Harrison was unloaded for a fifth a fifth!!!! has made it clear that everyone, new kids and old, are on the block. Next to go should be Jackrabbit Jenkins and the 62 million albatrosses counted against the salary cap. See ya. Another team apparently doing the same thing are the Raiders. Rumors abound that Gruden has ‘lost the room’ so he’s going to go out and get himself a whole new room. E.M Forster is hoping it has a view.
TO THE GAME!
Doll Fingers/Tex Ands:
Miami’s hot 3-0 start fooled exactly zero watchers of football. They now sit at 4-3 and should get back into their usual comfy .500 spot a few hours from now. This may be the last time you see Frank Gore and his leather helmet on national tv so give that old war horse and his 4.6 ypc average (!!!) a respectful salute, would ya? Burp Osweiler is slinging the ball at a rate of 8.2 ypa and has a 6/2 TD/Intercept stat but much like avid bingo players, the dozen or so followers of his career have seen this B4. Look for Houston’s OC/qb Watson to target some corner by the name of Torry McTyer. “Who?”, you say. Why that’s the corner that has given up 12 passes for an average of 18+ yards per and has a passes defended success rate of 25%. Oik!, I say.
Wipe down your monitors, there’s work to do.
put Gore back in, you shitdicks!
– Ray Lewis, trying to get his cronies to rectify the terrible mess he made
I concur! Drake is on my bench! DON’T MAKE ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE CHOICES GASE
goddamned 500s
Adam Gase: confirmed shitdick
Wow, I don’t think I’ve seen BEERGH this pissed before. I’m not sure we’ll see another flag all game.
Ha ha, just kidding, it’s not like the game features the Patriots playing against themselves.
Welch’s pandering to the hardass biker demographic is a bold choice.
Bikers love de grape jews.
Halftime in Morganhole. Mountaineers squeaking by Rapey U., 41-0. And it isn’t even that close.
I am angry at myself for not using a credit card at the dodgier of my two sportsbooks to bet the shiot out of that. I assume the spread was less than 20…
WVU by 14!
Every time I looked up a blue uniform had the ball running full speed in the open field. Just an ass whoopin’.
I just patiently explain to anyone who would inquire that, being older than 11, I am not eligible for Halloween, or Halloween costuming.
Depends on how you do it.
You mean you’re not dressing up as Sexy Peter Potamus for Halloween?
/Similar to Rule 34, it has to exist somewhere, right?
Call me crazy but I think Brock Osweiler has a lot of potential and it’s situations he has been in that have permanently stunted his development. He’d have flourished in a situation where a good team was bought in on him. He’d have been a good backup opt for GB when he left DEN.
Look you can bring the kid into a house with lead paint, but you can’t make them lick the walls
and that doofus has eaten his share of paint chips, let’s be honest here
I predicted to my brother this week that Osweiler is gonna go on a tear, Fins are gonna sign him to a 3 year deal and let Tannehill walk. Then next season he turns to shit and realizes his destiny as the next FitzMagic.
oh, I could surely see that
THis sounds absolutely correct to me.
This is the future.
One punt in six minutes of game time? Come on, guys, you’re never gonna set a record that way.
Come on, Fox, if you’re gonna pander to the xenophobes you gotta make the Asian man have a “hilariously exaggerated” accent.
HERRO RIVE FROM HOUSTON ME NO RIKEY NEW SACK RULES
Banner
I wonder if the current NFL rules would allow you to have the front of your uniforms be a disorienting pattern like the one below. It would distract your opponents, and the quarterback is almost always looking at the back of the receivers.
I…can’t…look…away! Send…help!
Yes, BEERGH is clearly displeased. That should have been pass interference.
Yeah, when she whips her dick out.
They spelled “Prince S.” wrong.
That’s dickovna to you sir
I would be more surprised if she was able to retract it again.
4th and 1, you have Osweiller and you throw?!
oh, LOLfins. NEVAR CHANGE
As someone who expected Kenyan Drake to be the fucking man this year, Adam Gase fucking BLOWS. I’ve been suspicious about it for a while but this year really confirmed it.
I mean it’s a tough task to beat Canadian Drake
How is J.J. Watt not hurt?
HGH is a helluva drug.
powered by rock, flag, and eagle bitches!!
Oh man BEERGH is not going to be happy to see his gift rejected.
Those Texans uniforms are ugly.
(remembers I designed a uniform in the videogame that was a black jersey with purple numbers outlined in blue)
Nevermind. I cannot judge another teams number color combo. Even though my numbers looked cool in the videogame.
Was your team the Batmen?
Coyotes. I was going for a shadow look.
As a Striped Pylon enthusiast, your fashion street cred is expected to be limited.
Why won’t they burn those jerseys and gone back to the ’97-’03 ones?
Mike Brown got a discount
Gore is fine, but this week we so HATE THE DRAKE!
BLEERGH must be up to something. They sacrificed a referee this week.
This is superb.
Monday’s game featured one of the fastest first halves I can remember; this game obviously intends to do the reverse.
MOAR FRAGS!
YEAH, kickoff BLEERGH!
followed by extended ref conference!!
THEN ANOTHER RE-KICK BLEERGH!!!
I saw Extended Ref Conference open for Li’l Yachty at the Bleergh Factory a couple years ago. The lead singer had huge biceps.
This whole Gruden situation reminded me of the reports that Pete Carroll was getting new players because his current ones had heard all of his motivational anecdotes.
https://deadspin.com/pete-carroll-needed-new-players-because-he-exhausted-hi-1825392620
I’m going to a Halloween party Saturday and i fucking hate, i mean hate like you hate dingleberries on a humid day, dresing up in a costume. So . . .what the fuck do i go as?
A nudist.
I hate and refuse to dress up. If I want to attend a party, I just go in my street clothes and claim to be portraying a degenerate.
or your skeeviest track plants, sunglasses, and raging boner – BOOM, Marc Trestman
put a wrench on a piece of string, wear it around your neck, tell ppl you’re a tool
Put on a black robe, get blackout drunk, and go as Brett Kavanaugh.
/please don’t try to rape any fifteen year-olds, though
The only alleged Ford riding should take place in your Focus
That should be a banner.
Joe Namath, just get shit-housed and make passes at everyone.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IYQs0U6iStU
Golf shoes
Argyle socks
Bloused at the top of socks khakis
Collared shirt
Argyle vest
Kangol hat
“Hello my name is Payne Stewart” name tag
…too soon?
After watching the WS for the last two nights, I was looking forward to an evening sans Joe Buck. Alas.
This is Joe Buck’s World and we’re just living in it.
Do you have Amazon Prime? Watch it through that – you can turn on British commentary!
THIS GIANTS TEAM I CALL THEM ADAM AND EVE BECAUSE AN APPLE REALLY FUCKED THEM UP FOR YEARS
It is kind of funny how quick Adam was to throw Eve under the bus.
Incidentally, Hue Jackson is a huge fan of the Book of Genesis.
harbinger for the next several millenia
Must be killing WCS not to be able to watch his 2nd favourite side in the Castrated Turkeys…
There will come a day, perhaps within the next two weeks, when my defining interest in every NFL game will be which of the teams the Raiders have received a pick from (and if both, which is a higher round pick) and I must root against for draft positioning.
I wonder if Aaron Paul made enough for doing that testimonial on Fox to buy an eight ball.
Have Rajon Rondo spit in his face
it will NEVAR be as good as that first time with Jane, though
Millenial at work the other day, “You know, I can make any kind of joke I want to around you, because I can tell that nothing offends you. Adn you have a sense of humor.”
It all starts with planting seeds. There is hope. Maybe.
Fozz, I would be honored to work with you.
“Buddy, yeah, don’t call your millenial co-worker ‘a damaged zygote of society’. Save it for the threads.”
“Fozz, its HR again! Did you call someone a ‘Dingleberry on the Ass of Humanity’ again?”
It just dawned on me that the narrator on the Smithsonian documentaries is Liev Schreiber the actor. Hand to God, his voice sounds completely different.
And what in the fuck white people? Hasn’t the whole “gee black face is horrible” lesson not been explained? Christ. Although when I see someone dressed as a gangster I get so triggered that I have to swill down some homemade wine, smoke a cigar, and break their hands with a ball peen hammer.
It’s all about choosing the right shade of shoe polish! – Frank R., Philadelphia, PA
Much like children learn not to touch a hot stove after the first time they burn themselves, it should be legal to physically assault someone wearing blackface so they learn not to do it.
#VerySpecificReparations
White people are stupid. Stu-pid!
To differentiate themselves from App State, WVU should change their mascot from the Mountaineers to the Black Lungs or the Breached Holding Ponds.
“What do people in West Virginia do at Halloween?”
“They pump kin!”
I’ll be sitting down with the other dads over there. . .
Works at Thanksgiving too.
I went to a college game last Saturday and was tasked with getting beer. I got mostly shit, some good stuff, and this motherfucker I hid in another fridge so no one would touch it.
https://foundersbrewing.com/our-beer/backwoods-bastard/
Damn democrats, sending pipe bombs to other democrats to blame the republicans so the voters will hate the republicans. Holy fuck fuck almighty. This country sucks ass.
Works for me!
Yeah, if the media would quit being fake and the enemy of the people, the people would quit sending them bombs. Its makes perfect sense!
I’m going through my bourbon at an alarming rate. Nothing wrong with that, but still.
https://www.cincinnati.com/story/news/2018/10/25/mcdonalds-mcrib-back-get-via-uber-eats-restaurants/1765990002/
Its back! Its in Ohio! Its been three years!
Don’t look at me. You know I make questionable decisions.
This might be a good tune
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IpGp-22t0lU
Celtics Thunder tonight, reminds me of my stripper days dancing in Derry.
Three JV games? Did I sleep through Halloween and Thanksgiving and go straight to Christmas season?
I’ve got 5 to choose from. WTF?
these JV matches will all be ass whoopins, so LOLfins/500s…sigh, we shall be there
Did we ever have a choice?
/#resignationissexy
“Wipe down your monitors, there’s work to do.”
I thought I saw my webcam move,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3tUh-x-fp8Q
Toledo/Western Michigan has no business being as entertaining as it is.
Classic MACtion
At one time back in the day I watched plenty of Central Michigan basketball on the local PBS channel. Melvin McLaughlin was a beast.
I will never get tired of this picture:
It’s truly awesome because there is so much going on.
There’s a lot of unanswered questions here.
I remember Haywood Jeffires used go all over Houston and say, “My names Heywood, as in ‘Hey would you let me get all up in that ass?'” He later toned it down to, “Baby, I got the run n’ shoot down to a science!”
WWE has decided that being insensitively stupid (no Megyn Kelly) is worse than condoning or aiding and abetting murder (yes Saudi Arabian show).
VPI loves teh flag!! so inspire-y!!111
The local pre-game show keeps showing overhead shots of the stadium and you can still see the old Astrodome next to it.
How the fuck is that building still standing? There’s gotta be a story behind that…
Pete Carroll has a 346 slide PowerPoint as to why it’s still up.
3*4=12/6=2 = Two TOWERS!!!!
“Build me a new stadium or we’re out. That POS won’t last another five years. Ten at most!” – Bud Adams 1995
I think they still hold the annual stock show and rodeo there. Apparently they didn’t want the new stadium to smell like a barnyard.
The Giants are officially cancer free.
Jim Kelly’s jaw is so jelly, guys!!
Don’t eat the Apple
TOUCHDOWN MOUNTAINEERS
I will be foregoing the Shield’s TNF crap for Big Shit Conference JV foobawl.
You watching the App St. game too?
/The App St. Mountaineers that is