I sat on a jury years ago, 2nd degree attempted murder case. One day the defendant wore sneakers with his suit to court. It was that day I knew he was guilty.
Russell the nanobubbled QB
(QB)
Had a very big ego
(like an asshole)
And if you ever played with him
(On offense)
You might even say he blows
(As a person)
All of the other Seahawks
(Seahawks)
Used to laugh at his sex life that was lame
(Mr. Chastity Belt)
They never let asshole Russell
(Russell)
Play in their fun team building games
(like post touchdown dance contests)
Obviously Stafford learned to block from his O-line.
Related but not the caption, if he has to stand still for so long to be able to throw a ball from the pocket, what idiot coach thought he could pull this play off?
“Honey, you can’t have another Jaguar. With Paul Allen’s death, my Microsoft shares dropped four points. Why, we may not be able to spend three weeks in Aspen like usual.”
“Oompa, Loompah, doopity-do.
I have another riddle for you.
What do you do with the ball on the one?
Call for a pass instead of a run.
Oompah, Loompah, doopity-deems
Jet fuel can’t melt…steel…beams!”
As someone who has HATED the way Alex Smith tiptoes on the sideline and then picks up unnecessary roughness penalties when anyone lays him out a fraction of a second after he steps out, I really love to see this happen to him.
[…] 2018 Quotables – Week 9 (Submissions) – November 6, 2018 […]
So they murder birds but won’t hurt a fat toad?
Scott Walker thinks the Lord cares about his political career?
Russell the nanobubbled QB
(QB)
Had a very big ego
(like an asshole)
And if you ever played with him
(On offense)
You might even say he blows
(As a person)
All of the other Seahawks
(Seahawks)
Used to laugh at his sex life that was lame
(Mr. Chastity Belt)
They never let asshole Russell
(Russell)
Play in their fun team building games
(like post touchdown dance contests)
+1 Bumble
Damn, these Texans really do know how to bust a Bronco.
Well, it looks like Alex Smith’s spirit animal is definitely not a falcon.
What the fuck was that? A performance by the Wu-Tang Can-Can?
Why does the wife look like she is trying to remove a pube that is stuck in her teeth? Did she just finish her 12th man?
This is what I think of the play Coach Blue Bunny called….
Obviously Stafford learned to block from his O-line.
Related but not the caption, if he has to stand still for so long to be able to throw a ball from the pocket, what idiot coach thought he could pull this play off?
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Since when did the dance line dancers in Soul Train get uniforms?
GAAAAAAAAAAAH…MY POSTURE!!!
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“You guys should sign me. I love the rhythm method.”
-A. Cromartie
That face when you can’t get the bad taste of being a Seahawks fan out of your mouth.
The oline really needs to work on their protection of Wilson.
everybody was Kung fu fighting
COOCH, KURT COUSINS WOULD HAVE PICKED UP THREE MORE YARDS
Thomas tried to call Joe Horn, whose cell phone was shut off for non-payment
If that ball was made of pork rinds, ol’ Fat Sackford would never have let go of it.
You won’t find a finer example of the product put out by the NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE than this.
“Merle, MERLE! Ya gotta pull the choke out before that Stihl snowblower’s gonna start, dontchaknow?”
Usually it’s the native that’s trying to collect scalps.
PETA is protesting this play as another example of the rampant animal cruelty found in Texas.
I haven’t seen a Texan involved in a popping off like that since Lindsay Vonn came into JJ Watt’s life
The real problems began on the sideline, when #54 continued his impression by putting pee-pee in the coaches’ Coke.
Rodgers’ hand signal for a rub route is a bit on-the-nose, no?
Looks like Seattle’s hiring of Bob Fosse as OC has paid off.
“Rolling the dice, rolling the dice, rolling the dice… No one could possibly take this out of context.”
RE:Lions
How am I supposed to catch the ball with all this chicken grease on it?
“After further review, the player did not complete the process of dialing. Touchdown Patriots.”
Re: Alex Smith
Georgia, showing their historical love for Native Americans.
Re: Classic
If you get hit by a player on an imaginary team can you really get concussed?
I haven’t seen somebody get so wrecked at their own 42 since myself on my birthday last year.
Rodgers (audibling): VONN, VONN, VONN!!
Re: Rodgers
“Must resist urge to make hackneyed gay joke… ‘And then I saw Idris Elba was named…’ No, I must remain strong.”
-Commentist party
“Honey, you can’t have another Jaguar. With Paul Allen’s death, my Microsoft shares dropped four points. Why, we may not be able to spend three weeks in Aspen like usual.”
— season ticket holder since 2015
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Aw yeah, my time to shine…Riverdance! No, Tae-Bo!! What the fuck am I doing, who’d be crazy enough to still be watching this shit?
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They need someone to teach them, teach them, teach them teh electric slide!
“Oompa, Loompah, doopity-do.
I have another riddle for you.
What do you do with the ball on the one?
Call for a pass instead of a run.
Oompah, Loompah, doopity-deems
Jet fuel can’t melt…steel…beams!”
As someone who has HATED the way Alex Smith tiptoes on the sideline and then picks up unnecessary roughness penalties when anyone lays him out a fraction of a second after he steps out, I really love to see this happen to him.
I haven’t seen something so perfectly synchronized since John Jastremski and Jim McNally were interrogated separately by NFL investigators.