This is Not my Beautiful House: Vikings at the Bye.

Before the start of the NFL season I had a few predictions for the upcoming Vikings season.

“The Vikings are indeed loaded at almost every level but the offensive line is problematic as fuck. In addition the Vikings have a much more challenging schedule this year. I have no idea how Cousins will fit the team but he has two incredible receivers to throw to and a – thus far – healthy Dalvin Cook at running back.

Regular season record of 11-5. NFC North champions and a much closer loss in the NFC championship game.”

Let’s address a couple of those items.

The offensive line remains problematic as fuck. The team has had a revolving door at right tackle and were missing the starting center for the first 6 games. Pat Elflein, the center has finally returned and it shows up most in the running game. After having one of the worst rushing attacks in the game for the early part of the season, the line stabilization has allowed the running game to be more productive as of late, which also brings us to another point in my season prediction. A – “thus far – healthy Dalvin Cook”, which lasted all of about 1/2 of the first goddamn game.

I will gladly accept some accountability for his ongoing injury issues because, of course, I used a “keeper” status on his broken ass in my fantasy league. Last week against the Lions he was back and running at almost full speed so let’s see how this develops going forward.

Next: The receivers.

Goddamn do I love these two fucking guys.

After starting the season with 8 straight games of over 100 yards receiving, Adam Thielen came back to Earth a bit last week against Detroit. This wasn’t an issue because the running game was doing fine and the Vikings defense was busy murder/crush/killing poor old “Fat Sackford.” Stephon Diggs missed a game but he should be fine returning as a starter after the bye. You know who has actually been semi-productive so far? Laquan Treadwell.

/crickets

You know? The Vikings 1st round draft pick from 2016? Who’s been MIA since he came to the team? That Guy?

A quick word on the Vikings T/E Kyle Rudolph: If you play fantasy football you can see his worth and despite the fact that he averages .0003 yards after the catch, that motherfucker will catch a damn ball. Receivers are just fine.

Guess it’s time to discuss the outlier. As our own King Hippo calls him “Captain Dingleberry.” I still haven’t made up my mind on Kirk Cousins.

Check this shit out.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tSGZWczGYs

Goddamn. That is an absolute fucking DIME! He’s thrown a few of these so far. Throws I’ve never seen anybody make. Throws that make me think “maybe we got something here.”

Counterpoint!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pYIldkouAKM

What the fuck is that!?! What the fuck?!? This pick cost the Vikings ANY chance of coming back against the Saints. Jesus Christ, dude! How did you not see the defender?

My favorite pet peeve though? Motherfucker throws the damn ball directly into the defensive line something like 5 times EVERY. FUCKING. GAME!

Put a little air under that shit you fucking moron!

Fuck that is one of the most goddamn annoying things ever.

All in all? See banner image. “Fuck if I know.”

Defensively the team is starting to look like I expected them to look at the start of the season. Swarming pass rush and solid d-back play. It would be nice if Xavier Rhodes – one of the best in the game when healthy – could go an entire game without getting hurt. Motherfucker fell out of the womb and sprained his ankle and has never been the same since.

I don’t have the proper words to express how integral Harrison Smith is to this team. He is also responsible for my current game day jersey. His deep coverage is outstanding. His ability to either tackle the runner or blitz from the defensive box is uncanny. He may be the most important member to the TEAM not just the defense.

I would be absolutely remiss at this point if I didn’t mention Danielle Hunter.

Mr Hunter has 11.5 sacks on the year including 3.5 against Detroit. He now leads Aaron Donald by a full sack and a half in total sacks.

You ever made a late night trip to White Castle? Got like 5 sliders and a sack and a half?

/ looks around …Me neither.

At the bye the team is 5-3-1 and just a half game behind the Bears in the NFC North. Don’t get me started on that fucking tie against Green Bay. Fuck all of the kickers on the planet. The second half schedule starts with a Sunday Night game against the Bears in Chicago followed by hosting Green Bay, a visit to New England (FUN!), trip to Seattle, hosting the Dolphins, visiting Detroit, and finishing the season hosting the Bears.

Prediction is 11-4-1 and winning the NFC North. I still stand by the “losing in the NFC Championship game” statement.

However.

This simply has to be brought up.

A loss to Buffalo in Minneapolis! In week 3.

I don’t have to remind you about the teams penchant for throwing up (I mean that literally here) one of these goddamn no-shows EVERY YEAR!

/see last years NFC Championship game.

It’s not even a real surprise to the team. I will say that this particular game coincided with the loss of Everson Griffen for mental health issues. He’s back and playing again – all the best to you big guy, hope you turn out OK – but the sudden situation seemed to leave the whole team flat. Kyle Rudolph even admitted that the team “Seems to do this once a year.”

For you long time readers you may remember that I’ve already had this particular rant before.

Bottom line is I don’t know if, when or where this fucking no-show shit may rear it’s goddamn head again and it takes away the trust factor. Hence: “Fuck if I know.”

Not sure if the whole “Well, I just hope they show up to play today” is sustainable for everyone involved and I’m not sure the team will get past it until they win the whole fucking thing.

Now, that would be alright too.

I, I got nothin’

MUSIC!

Yep.

Same as it ever was.

SKOL!