Your “Pour Me Some Of That Giggle Juice, Dollface” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

There’s a ton of NFL news today if you look for it…

Dez Bryant:

The newest employee of the New Orleans Saints hasn’t, to anyone’s knowledge, burned any bridges with a single one of his teammates as of 6pm EST!

Darren Sproles:

He aggravated his teeny, weeny hamstring today.

There you have it. TO THE GAME!

Panthers/Steelers:

Them Pittsburghians. Are they spent after the Crashing Helmets Bowl that took place just 3 1/2 days ago against arch-enemy Baltimore? Perhaps, but in Math Is A Thing News they happen to be 7-1 at home on Thursday nights. (the lone loss was a field goal in OT) By doing their very best Giants imitation, the Steelers D has a plump-ton of trouble dealing with opposing te’s. This is where Greg Olsen and his ‘3 TD’s in three games since returning from injury’ narrative rears its head. Guess who I’ve got on my fantasy team? Guess who doesn’t have to play him because he bid the hell out of Travis Kelce back in early September? Yeah, I think you know. This sure does feel like a game that will end up in the 30’s so I thought I might hit you with some factoids from that time.

Herbert Hoover was an inveterate gambler and bullied his fellow poker-playing buds by yelling out, “I Want A New Deal!” whenever he was given a poor hand.

Manchuria, a disease caused by a poor understanding of what mosquitoes actually do, swept the southern United States in early 1935.

According to several glasses of Guinness, the greatest number of people victimized by a ‘crop-dusting’ was performed by Amelia Airfart during the 1932 Des Moines Air Show.

Neville Chamberlain and his aide both wanted to read a certain American weekly on the flight back from Germany back in ’38. There was a kerfuffle, pages were torn. The end result was Mr. Chamberlain announcing proudly on the tarmac the often misquoted phrase, “This Is A Piece Of Our Time!”

Enough of this crap. It’s your turn now. I’ve got to take a power.