Your “Slouching is a *kind* of Posture!” Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

Only three games on the late sked but we’ll make the best of it, won’t we? My couch groove is making it really difficult for me to ignore these games that are completely ignorable. Plus I’ve got dry-roasted peanuts! (I mix them together with regular salt and vinegar peanuts. That way, you can really taste the salt) And beer. And scotch! And spiked lemonade! And ice water! My options make this basement seem like a Horn of Plentiness. TO THE GAMES!

Bolts/Raiders:

There’s nothing much stopping Phil and the Gang from running roughshod over this lousy crew. Unless Gruden has found a way to channel overall discontent and disinterest into turnovers, TD’s and an effective game plan. Nope, sure looks like Gordon is gonna get his third straight 100+ game. But the bigger question-will he average more than 7+ yards per carry for the 3rd week in a row? That stat is mighty impressive indeed. Chargers romp in a game of no interest to anyone outside the betting/fantasy community.

Fins/Packers:

Hey look here-we’ve got an inter-conference yawner on our eyebulbs! Just… how is Miami still a game over .500? Smoke, mirrors, bells, whistles, charms, blackmail, pipe dreams, voodoo-most likely all of these have factored in at one point in the season.

Seahawks/Rams:

Damn, does it ever bother me that wordpress doesn’t recognize ‘Seahawks’ as legit. Anyway, the Rams gave up their loss virginity last week and now face a Seattle squadoo that doesn’t have their collective butts up their collective ani(?) any more. Whatever. Goff at home is nothing to be scoffed at.

Let the footballs fly!

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yeah rightrockingdogJustStopDudeBrick MeathookInanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli Recent comment authors
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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

rockingdog
rockingdog

bahahahaha

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Since it’s Eagles-Cowboys tonight, I think I’m going to do something more enjoyable such as playing the Star Trek: Enterprise theme song repeatedly, I’m going to skip every episodes and watch only the opening theme until I die.

rockingdog
rockingdog

last funny:
doctor: i’m afraid he may never wake up from his coma

my wife: on his will it says he’s left all his updog to you

doctor: what is updog

my wife: i don’t know

[my body starts convulsing]

Old School Zero

Do the Rams green sideline apparel count as stolen valor?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Oh good. Pete Carroll deserves to lose forever.

rockingdog
rockingdog

is wilson actually gonna do this?

Old School Zero

The answer is no.

King Hippo

or as OKC Bomber put it Let’s Go, Motherfucker!!

/assuming I lip read right

King Hippo

oh goddamnit

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

BLACK VELVET:
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BLUE VELVET:
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Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

This only aired once with good reason:

rockingdog
rockingdog

bahahaha what the?

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

Aired live in May 1990 for the In Living Color pilot(!) and has never been shown again. DVD releases change the sketch and re-airs just skip it.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Great comedy is always based on awfulness. Look at almost every Mister Show sketch.
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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

HOLY SHIT THAT WAS GREAT!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!
Buddy Cole's Halftime Show!

This autumn weather actually reminds of my first sexual experience. The timid, awkward gropes, the constant coaxing, and the sign that said, “Gas, Grass, and Ass, No One Rides for Free”! Goodness, it was a brisk autumn day too.

I was really glad when Uncle Dave died.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

*sound of dry leaves blowing across an otherwise silent landscape*

King Hippo

JEEEEEEEBUS, let Gurley Man do it. Moe-rons.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

drop kick kickoff, that was…mildly fun

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

found a funny:
white lady next to me at the Kroger muttering about “this rap crap” as kris kross “jump” plays and oh you have been mad for a WHILE, sharon

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

thats great

The Maestro

9.5 MOAR years of Gruden!

King Hippo

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! score in like the only way to deny me fantasy points

rockingdog
rockingdog

come on goff, throw that TD!!!!!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

this is Russell Wilson’s fumble!

Old School Zero

Seems like he’s coming up a bit short this season

Old School Zero

THIS GUY JON GRUDEN I CALL JAMES DYSON ‘CAUSE HE’S PERFECTED THE ART OF SUCKING

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Hi guys, I hope that all of you are doing well!

I’m making slow cooked oven ribs tonight! They’ve been cooking in a spice rub at 200 degrees now, and they’re about ready to take out, rub with bbq sauce, and put in under the broiler for 10 minutes.

What are you all making?

King Hippo

maybe I will go get ribs for instapot now

King Hippo

also maybe booze

the Alpha and the Amoeba
the Alpha and the Amoeba

Well, that goes without saying, in this day and age

yeah right

I’ve got a slab of cow – chuck roast- in the Instant Pot and I’m making French dip sandwiches.
I’ve got some Philippe’s mustard and some horseradish.

We throwing down!

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Leftover sausage, peppers and onions from last night on a toasty roll.

yeah right

I actually put some butter and garlic on the toasted rolls for the French dip.
Damn!

King Hippo

fuck a duck, to beat Seamus I need the non-gendered Cowpersons to at least play competently

JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Oh raiders…

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Three of their last four games they have scored 6 or fewer points.

Doktor Zymm

I’m pretty sure all of this is just a lead-up to the announcement that the Raiders will be playing in Albuquerque until the Vegas stadium is ready

Unsurprised
Unsurprised

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JustStopDude
JustStopDude

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Chasen’s Chili in two easy steps:
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yeah right

Give me a reminder after the season. I’m gonna do that for Sunday Gravy next year.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Sure!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Unsurprised
Unsurprised

I need to decide on what if any pies to take to Thanksgiving besides pumpkin.

/side eyes OSZ

Doktor Zymm

Here’s a handy guide:comment image

Old School Zero

I am statistically sound!

yeah right

A pie chart!

Old School Zero

Some years I go for pecan, others apple. This year is pecan. I’ve also had success with a cranberry-pear. Chocolate cream is a good idea all year round.

yeah right

Pecan is always a solid choice.

I’ve had success with cashew pie too. Freaking delicious.

Old School Zero

I’ve thought about doing a nut mix pie–pecans, walnuts, and hazelnuts. Cashews would be nice and creamy in there. My wife has made a macadamia nut pie before–pricey to get the nuts, but super sinful, especially with a chocolate bottom.

Doktor Zymm

Macadamia pie sounds amazing.
I would also like to point out that you can use any winter squash in a pumpkin pie recipe. Acorn squash makes a much lighter and airier pie.

Old School Zero

I have had squash pie and you’re spot on! A much lighter texture and no less delicious.

rockingdog
rockingdog

Doktor Zymm

Alex Smith scored 12.72 fantasy points in the Reacted’s 16-3 victory over Tuberculosis, and that is all you need to know about that team

Doktor Zymm

Somewhere Derek Carr’s second grade math teacher is saying to herself, “THAT’S why you need to learn math”

King Hippo

the Trinity only goes up to 3 ppl forget that

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING THROWING THE BALL AWAY ON 4TH AND 5, CARR?

WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?

YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT!

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

HOW DO YOU THINK JESUS FELT ABOUT THAT THROW?

DO YOU THINK IF HE WERE HERE RIGHT NOW HE’D JUST PAT YOU ON THE BACK AND TELL YOU IT’S NO BIG DEAL?

NO! HE’S KICK YOU RIGHT IN THE DICK AND SCREAM AT YOU TO GET YOUR STUPID FUCKING BIBLE-THUMPING HEAD IN THE FUCKING GAME.

Mr. Ayo
Mr. Ayo

This week, on Raiders Fans React Reasonably. . .

Doktor Zymm

He would probably knee him in the dick, unless he had time to change out of his sandals. Jesus was probably pretty short, so he also has the option of punching him in the dick.

Old School Zero

Derek Carr was actually Cleo Lemon in disguise! Always do a check before driving off the lot!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

I’m really trying to figure out the conversation that led to this occurring

rockingdog
rockingdog

hahahaha 4th and 5 for the raiders. what ya gonna do?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

Oh well done Carr

Doktor Zymm

Turns out kayaking wasn’t in the early morning like I thought, so that’s what I was doing during most of the early games. I learned some neat stuff and saw some seals and a sunk boat and learned where Sausalito got its name, so not a bad trade off. Now home, booze open, and good for the Browns!

rockingdog
rockingdog
Doktor Zymm

I kayaked past it! I love tall ships

rockingdog
rockingdog

yea goff!!!!!! there ya go!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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rockingdog
rockingdog

that RAMMMIT nows how to ram it!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Doktor Zymm

I bet someone at some point said “I like a gal with spirit” to her, and she promptly kicked them as the comment deserves

yeah right

Instant Pot. ENGAGED!
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

You ever do sancocho? Someone was talking about it the other day and I’d never even heard of it, but it definitely looks like the sort of mess I’d like to pile into my mouth.

yeah right

/ off to Google

theeWeeBabySeamus

I almost brought mine on vacation.
I miss it already.

Gratliff

Cause of the discussion: