Only three games on the late sked but we’ll make the best of it, won’t we? My couch groove is making it really difficult for me to ignore these games that are completely ignorable. Plus I’ve got dry-roasted peanuts! (I mix them together with regular salt and vinegar peanuts. That way, you can really taste the salt) And beer. And scotch! And spiked lemonade! And ice water! My options make this basement seem like a Horn of Plentiness. TO THE GAMES!
Bolts/Raiders:
There’s nothing much stopping Phil and the Gang from running roughshod over this lousy crew. Unless Gruden has found a way to channel overall discontent and disinterest into turnovers, TD’s and an effective game plan. Nope, sure looks like Gordon is gonna get his third straight 100+ game. But the bigger question-will he average more than 7+ yards per carry for the 3rd week in a row? That stat is mighty impressive indeed. Chargers romp in a game of no interest to anyone outside the betting/fantasy community.
Fins/Packers:
Hey look here-we’ve got an inter-conference yawner on our eyebulbs! Just… how is Miami still a game over .500? Smoke, mirrors, bells, whistles, charms, blackmail, pipe dreams, voodoo-most likely all of these have factored in at one point in the season.
Seahawks/Rams:
Damn, does it ever bother me that wordpress doesn’t recognize ‘Seahawks’ as legit. Anyway, the Rams gave up their loss virginity last week and now face a Seattle squadoo that doesn’t have their collective butts up their collective ani(?) any more. Whatever. Goff at home is nothing to be scoffed at.
Let the footballs fly!
Thank you for your service, ma’am.
I am experiencing a weird condition that is making my mouth feel and taste like I’ve been licking 9-volt batteries all day. I think my kid gave it to me.
You are not long for this world.
And ye shall be the luckiest kommentor today.
Maybe it’s Pine Mouth
https://www.bonappetit.com/story/pine-nut-mouth-syndrome
Our air quality makes me feel like I’ve got my face in an overfilled ashtray.
As much as I hate Trump, I still don’t think he’s as bad as W was (yet). The idea of liking a war criminal more because he didn’t hate Mexicans as much seems crazy to me. I hope he paints a cute little puppy and a fairy flies in and brings it to life and it rips out his fucking carotid. If one more motherfucker uses a goddamn Bush-Obama photo shoot as evidence that he’s on the right side of things, I’m gonna flip my shit for real.
And way too fucking many people have just completely forgotten his war on LGBTQ Americans
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ewLiGsT9OYY
W was about the worst you could have with bipartisanship (for the most part). Trump is the worst you can do with single party (united under one man) control.
Trump is an absolute traitor and should be hung on the National Mall. W was just a product of a terrible terrible system. He deserves to die in peace and then his grave robbed.
This. This I like.
See, I felt that way about Trump before he even ran, and that’s probably the part I struggle to reconcile the most. Nobody liked this motherfucker for decades, and then half the fucking country voted for him.
I disagree strongly that nobody liked him. He couldn’t have seized the moment as well as he did if that had been true.
It had to be the fucking TV thing. With my disdain for reality TV, and TV in general for most of the aughts, I never watched his shitty show. I feel like there’s a real disconnect between me and public opinion based largely on the horseshit I’ll never watch. Someone from Big Bang Theory’s gonna become King of Earth and I’m gonna have to ask someone who the fuck that guy is.
W made foreign policy decisions that I strongly disagree with, but being an open race-baiting fascist is significantly more dangerous for society and even the world at large.
But I never agreed that anything Busy did was impeachable, just wrong/immoral.
I’d say using outright lies to justify a war was totally impeachable.
Oh, I’ll add that the entire point of invading Iraq was the provide the staging ground for the eventual war against the real Middle Eastern enemy, Iran, but that Iraq went so much worse than expected that a second war couldn’t realistically be sold to Americans let along conducted.
Never forget
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o-zoPgv_nYg
Yams: Thanksgiving requirement or optional?
REQUIRED
I mean, everything’s optional, man.
optional. do green bean dish instead.
I choose optional. Not a huge fan myself.
Dressing and mashed potatoes cover my starch needs.
Optional.
But if you don’t have enough shit on the table, then yams is better than nothing.
Also, IKEA lingonberries over cranberries is my thang.
My mom’s go-to is rutabaga. Fuck rutabaga.
Not a fan of the weird canned yams or the ones with marshmallows and shit. Way too sweet.
I’ve been a huge fan lately of baked yams.
OAK kicking a FG down 17-3. LMAO
Scotchy’s Sens are trying to pull a Belichick on the league by starting a left-handed goalie. It’s working 90% of the time so far.
McKenna getting playing time is necessary. Anderson’s played so many goddamn minutes already this season, and the D has more holes than a mouldy block of Swiss cheese. The Sens are why I drink.
I wish someone would raise a soundproof FG net over my face when I get drunk in public and get ready to start talking.
Oh man, ANOTHER McCain is ded!!
Zeppo?
LOLfins DB
Did Meghan choke on Trump’s dick?
Just kidding. We know she can shove a honey baked ham down that gullet and he’s only a shriveled little mushroom.
So I guess what I’m saying is, maybe she was shot?
I really enjoy these Meghan rants!
I remind anyone who has a favorable opinion of her that in her book cowritten with Ian Michael Black that she said she “didn’t want just anyone” getting treatment at the Mayo Clinic.
She’s a coddled, entitled, awful child of wealth and it’s gross she can use the image of her father as cover for her myopia.
Only Zeuerlein helps me beat Seamus, so WOO!
Not that LA deserves a good team (much less two) but I’m not sad that the Rams are good.
Watching Todd Gurley run makes me remember why I really, really like football.
DTZM yo revoke RTD’s posting privileges in3…2…
Come Thanksgiving I will start Bollo de la Verdad, and he will get maybe 5 fantasy points.
Nice missed double-points TD to wide open Kupp, ugh
This Raiders offense really is very much “West Coast” in that everything has burnt to the ground and ashes are all that remains.
Banner nominee #2
Thank fuck RRRRRRRRAM iT!! Are back from the half. OAK/Shitty Clippers really was gonna push me over the seppuku edge.
I think it’s mean to have the C-HOX employ SeaBass, as he might end up getting thrown around at the fish market for too long and get injured.
I am truly the anti-Trump. SO MUCH LOSING!
Me too, imaginary pal. So much that Everton’s non-loss today is like the highlight of my month.
Holy merde, Laserface managed to float a pickerception v the Raiders.
A LOFTY float at that.
It could have achieved orbit
Life, uh… finds a way.
hahaha
Scott hanson called it a patented Philip Rivers “arm punt”
Operation Osweiler: A Brock too far
Whut up Bitches? I just got done driving 12 hours and I’m kinda cranky.
/checks FF match v Hippo
Well, that certainly didn’t help.
You still have a chance and I NO LIKE IT.
I haven’t looked at the details yet. I need to d-stankify myself first. I really reek right now.
More than usual I mean.
come on goff!!!! do stuff! dont let gurley take all the glory!
My Goff/Gurley side is going to lose 2 in a row, which should be just cause for my euthanasia.
A relative of Buddy’s was at an election party Tuesday for Candidate X. They were getting updates throughout the night from their lawyer buddies and friends. At one point this relative was among a group of people when they got a text that said, “The networks just called it for Candidate Y over Candidate X”, so they tell the group what went down and to see how the House was going.
One woman in the group said, “Well I really don’t care about the House.”
This relative almost says, “Why the fuck are you so sour” but instead said, “What do you mean?”
“Well, apparently my husband Candidate X just lost his election according to you.”
He apologized profusely and then left not long after.
This is hard to follow without you naming Dana Rohrabacher directly.
Afternoon, folks. Just got home from a super relaxing weekend away with Lady Maestro (a birthday present from her to me), and it’s now time to settle in. Nice that the Patriots didn’t play this week to spoil this tranquil mood I’m in…
If you’re feeling too happy today or just looking for something to be mad today, Joe Biden presented George W Bush with the Liberty Medal today for his (smgdh) commitment to veterans. There were actual veterans protesting inside the building that were removed. Normal day. Normal country.
Well without GWB we might have run out of veterans.
notDubya is a war veteran himself. Thanks to him, not a single Viet Cong fighter plane made it to Texas.
The only reason I want him to run in 2020 is because the odds of him being #MeToo’d are high enough to push him out of the public consciousness for good.
I still have a little love left for Joe Biden. I grew up in Wilmington, DE. Bit of a hometown sentiment thing. Even through the rose-coloredest glasses, he was, at best, a highly entertaining fuck-up. Now that I’m older and exponentially more judgmental of politicians, he’s nothing but a doddering old fool in the way of getting shit done.
About a year ago, he did some interview in which he railed against Millennials. He claimed his generation ended racism (lol) and took credit for the legalization and normalization of gay marriage. That is particular funny because the generation most accepting of gay marriage are Millennials and Smilin’ Joe VOTED TO ENACT DOMA.
I wish my brain didn’t feel like it was trying to find cracks so it could leak out of my skull. Tis nae pleasant.
/also insufficient RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
Just snort some xanthan gum, thicken that brain right up.
Anyone interested in a game of flip cup?
I could get behind that.
I saw another one of those aggressively judgmental “you’re depressed because you’re lazy posts” today and I’ve realized those people are combating their depression by getting dopamine hits from people telling they’re wrong.
But I’m lazy because I’m so depressed…
Viewing depression as merely a lack of will as opposed to the product of a mess of complicated things going on in the mind is tempting because it offers easy solutions. I get it. It doesn’t help much, but I get it
I think I remember seeing something about how telling someone with depression that they should try being happy instead is like suggesting to someone whose goldfish is dead that they should change the batteries.
Ironically, if you actually work enough at it, happiness ultimately ends up as a choice you can simply make. What the people who nod along to that completely overlook is that you likely have *decades* of habits that driving you the other way and it takes a lot more than simple lifestyle changes to address that.
The woman I live with (ex-wife/on-off-again thing) has major depressive disorder. She works 80+ hours a week as a Paramedic and ER RN. She has literally spent the 7 years since her dad died trying to outwork the pain. She does psycho therapy like Scott Weiland did rehab. If it weren’t for the medications, I think she’d literally just lay in the same spot until she died. Good job, good family, new dog, new truck, hundreds if not thousands of people who are still alive because of her. It does nothing to give her enough perspective to pull out of it. It’s physically impossible to work your way out of severe depression.
This is a good story to tell because I suspect a lot of people who appear to living a normal, healthy life are just successfully hiding the fact they’re an emotional, depressed mess.
This also reminds me of the term “high-functioning alcohol” which just means you’re capable of satisfying society’s requirements of being “productive” and not that you’re capable of anything else such as, oh, an emotionally satisfying life. Just swap out alcohol with any other condition and you’ll find just as many miserable people deemed to be okay.
come on brock lobster throw an INT….
Was listening to the Cards postgame while out picking up a new patio set. They’re VERY excited about the direction of this team.
These flagship broadcasts might as well be straight from Fox News.
found a Cool!
killing applebees and visiting the library? Nice!
http://www.pewresearch.org/fact-tank/2017/06/21/millennials-are-the-most-likely-generation-of-americans-to-use-public-libraries/
They need a place to sleep after boomers priced housing out of existence
Everything is free!
Or do they mean bc they’re all gonna be homeless?
More proof that millenial is just another word for NERRRRRRRRRRRRRRD
I also unironically believe hitting the upright should be worth an extra point.
here here!!!!!
at least a rouge
minus one point to the opposition?
I’ve been trying to get the kickoff that splits the uprights to be worth a point for years.
Think of the strategies involved! Every team would have a long kicker. The 15 yard penalty on the previous play would almost guarantee a point. What’s not to like?
Rashaad Penny, guy I considered picking up instead of Judge Ito. SIGH
If I had a penny for everytime I should have picked up Rashad….
I hadn’t realized how bad the Bears had been in divisional games over the last few seasons, so I’m pleased they opened up a can on the Fighting Fat Faced Staffords even if the second was… uh… less than ideal of a performance.
Worry not, The Prophecy shall carry ye through. Think you even match up well w/ NO
I still put them behind the Saints and Rams, but they’re the underdog you can feel reasonable betting on to beat either one.
Did TSN lose their NFL rights? No morning or afternoon games currently on. Instead, I got the CFL playoffs (makes sense), and Nascar racing, American soccer Playoffs featuring no Canadian team and Day 1 of some tiny tennis tournament. The fuck, TSN?
not missing much this week
Even though the Pack are likely going to win 35-10, I want to see those scrappy Dolphins play today. Then again, I’d take anything now
There goes another guy A.A. Ron will have killed. I mean, cut.
cute doggie in teh snow? Oh you best BELIEVE he can RRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
also ready 2 RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!! Dogs, cats, ALL sentient beings!
/except Balls
babay buster oh yea!!!!!!
He’s like Luther Vandross (or all them fires), he’s fuckin’ up the West Coast!
TOTES RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAM IT!!
/except the dinosaur, Carl Everett learned me they ain’t never exist
That cat really hates that dinosaur.
LOL Raiders…
They are like the browns…only instead of people pitying the fans, everyone just outright hates the fan base…
I have sat through a 2 hour reading of Proust, a 3 hour performance of interpretive dance which did not even have any music, but this afternoon slate has broken my will to watch. I think I am going to go and deep clean the bathrooms.
yea me too, these games look awful
oh brock lobster
True Fact:
Eating a small amount of cottage cheese and two mini cucumbers totally nullifies all the calories in 5 cans of beer. #science
the two afternoon games i got: one got brock lobster, the other has gruden
shit
the pictures out of malibu are wild.
It’s a fucking mess. I haven’t been able to even go outside this weekend. Air quality level is currently listed as “Camp fire.” It reeks out there.
Rammmmmit?
oh yea!
these fellas get it!
Extremely annoying announcer quirk: almost EVERY announcer does this, “The other day I was talking to coach x, player x and he said ‘Listen, I…'”
Has anyone ever fucking started a sentence with the word “Listen?”
Some motherfucker starts a sentence with the word “Listen” that’s the last thing I’m going to fucking do.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=seKaU-qQuts
Listen; don’t fuck with the goat.
I’ve gone 30 minutes without saying a word. The afternoon game better tip off soon or I’m going to go mad.
Shitty Clippers got Gruden Grindeded!
That bra is just showing off. #thirsty
I believe anii is the preferred plural.
I’ll defer to your balls.