Your “These Are The Mean Streets Of Northern Ontario” Thursday Night Football Open Thread

There were some shenanigans out my way that had the locals gums a-flappin’, I’ll tell you what. I’ve got a 40 minute drive to work and on my way there 6 police cruisers, sirens a-blarin’, tore past me on the highway. This is quite unusual in my very quiet, out of the way community of approx. 9,000 yokels. Sure there’s a druggy underbelly that exists but “busts”, if/when they occur, are done on the QT. It took me some time to find out the details but it turns out there was a nutball with a gun running around the street that I grew up on. This just doesn’t occur here. You’ll be relieved to know that he was tracked down by a K-9 unit and gave himself up.

Meanwhile, a business owner ( in the very loosest sense of the word) in the community of 1,100 people where I slave (hah!) away was arrested by a SWAT team and dragged away in cuffs! Northern Ontario Facebook must be on fire right now. DETAILS TO FOLLOW!

TO THE GAME!

Packers/SeaHawks:

One thing not mentioned very often regarding the two qb’s playing tonight is that they both tend to give up a fair amount of sack yardage because, being fellers that can run, they hold on to the ball longer than the average bear. Seattle qb Wilson is second in yards lost with 204 and Rodgers is right behind him with 184. In first? I’ll give you no guesses-you’re right, it’s Eli. First round rb Rashaad Penney had himself a day last week vs. the Rams vaunted d-line so expect his touches to increase as the season plays itself out. Rodgers’ young, explosive play-makers have already spread their wings. Aaron Jones and Bird Law expert Marquez Valdes-Scantling have already put the giddy-up in the Packers O.

Tons of sports offerings tonight for all y’all eyebulbs. Let’s chat. GO SILLYCUSE!

 

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Nailed It!

— Blair Walsh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No, he actually did.

The Maestro

Current weird TV crush: the girl dual-wielding in the Fallout 76 ad. Hard yes. Even if I died by violent means shortly thereafter.

King Hippo

How about during?

The Maestro

So long as I get to finish.

Viva La Tabula Raza

I particularly enjoy the musical accompaniment of the scene to which you refer.

Brocky

That should be game?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t know much about art, but I know good art when I see it.

h

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Fire Captain Bluebunny now. Leave him on the tarmac.

The Maestro

I wonder what Pete Carroll says into his headset sometimes. “Hey, do you think jet fuel can melt the Packers?”

Senor Weaselo

I’m prettt sure human flesh burns before it melts.

King Hippo

Only one way to be SURE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

Alright, let’s see some passing hawks.

Mr. Ayo

This was a joke guys. Up top!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dolph Ucker

Tim Allen is not funny.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I know several people who think he’s fucking hilarious.

I don’t like these people.

King Hippo

Never was. Imagine how insufferable he was on blow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They also like Larry the Cable Guy.

King Hippo

Well u noe he git ‘er done!!11

Brick Meathook

I never thought Tim Allen was funny until I saw him in Galaxy Quest where he was so perfectly cast as the Shatner-esque washed-up TV star. He was great in that.

King Hippo

Everyone I see those uniform patches, I think pro golf died.

Col. Duke LaCross

I’ve been in the business for 25 years. You’re not far off.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was a terrible “greens joke.”

Game Time Decision

Patches, we don’t need no stinking patches

Mr. Ayo

All the Lockett!

King Hippo

Jesus, how many types of hepatitis do these multi-cultural ad ppl have?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

if they collect one more type, they get a free ice cream!

Don T

None! It’s a miracle cure. Hear the ad!

Brick Meathook

BUT WAIT THERE’S MORE

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Wakezilla

Comrades, 15 minutes ago, my post was supposed to go live, but didn’t. Did I somehow break my post, or did DFO forget that the Dolphins were a team and decided not to post it, or did the Gypsy’s curse finally work?

Mr. Ayo

It’s live. Unlike the LOLfins playoff hopes.

King Hippo

I see a link to it?

Senor Weaselo

I saw it up, I asked if it was supposed to. Apparently it was!

Brick Meathook

Your post is there. I’m not gonna read it but it’s there.

Brick Meathook

Yeah there’s all sorts of RAMMIT tickets available for Monday night vs KC. Some $70 seats in the fucked up end, but generally around $100 in the high upper deck, which is the ONLY place to sit in the Coliseum unless you were given free tickets elsewhere.

King Hippo

That’s the one with two hands, he said could have done better.

Don T

Woof

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brocky

You’re hired.

Me at a job with absolutely no authority

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I’ll start the paperwork.

Senor Weaselo

She seems lovely.

King Hippo

Nice of them to help RRRRRRRRAM IT!! Sell some tickets during the broadcast.

Brocky

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Brick Meathook

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Mr. Ayo

I want that.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Mr. Ayo

He just got FACKED UP!

King Hippo

That guy like JJ Watt, but actually good?

/also likely not having been elbow deep in Katy Perry

Mr. Ayo

Everyone looks good when they’re not blocked.
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Senor Weaselo

You could do worse than being elbow deep in Katy Perry. I mean, you could also do better, but you could do worse.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Tricep deep; DO IT!

King Hippo

Nobody is raising 4 fingers, how will I know who wants it MOAR??

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Dolph Ucker

I’m so sick of replay. Fuck this. Make the call and let’s go. Fuck this.

Don T

I did not get a clear view. Run the Verizon ad again, please.

JustStopDude

Spur mentioned video games. I broke down a purchased a PS4. I have not had a game system since…I think around 2001. I had a PS2.

I’m waiting for it in the mail. It comes with a copy of red dead redemption 2 which I have heard good things.

I was wondering…anyone picked up the Fallout 76? I have hear nothing but terrible things about it.

King Hippo

A few years in the League, those knees don’t outrun fresh LB no more.

Mr. Ayo

He’s almost 30! We only have another decade of him!

Dolph Ucker

Yah
That’s an incomplete pass
bullshit

King Hippo

All these Target couples is MIXED!! – Jefferson Beauregard S., Lickspittle, AL

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Some are teh gay tooz! BOYCOTT!

King Hippo

wait, them wuz COUPLES?

Brocky

Alpha, I ain’t saying ya’ll are racist, I’m just saying I’ve never seen a davonte Adams jersey in person.

Or a Greg Jennings jersey

Or a randall Cobb jersey

Or a donald driver jersey

Or a charles Woodson jersey

Or an Eddie Lacey jersey

Or a sam shields jersey

Or an ahman green jersey

Or a reggie white jersey.

Or a Bryan bulaga jersey

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I saw Driver, Woodson, and Green jerseys when I was living in Green Bay, and I owned a Reggie White jersey. I’ve been out of state for most of the past decade, so I can’t speak for more recent players.

Also, you know bulaga is white, right?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

No; there is beluga shirts.

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blaxabbath

Wait — so you don’t have just random shooters everywhere?

No wonder you’re getting caravanned so GOT DAMM Hard!

King Hippo

Is liek they don’t even understand FREEDOM smgdh

the Alpha and the Amoeba

I’m really happy about our rookie punter. He’s got some rough edges, but I think he could be really good

Fronkenshteen

So much for the over. Looks like a couple FGs from here on in.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Have to admit that the Cowboys fan Christmas treeing the elevator on the Eagles fan makes me laugh. This year, of course, it would have been better if the guy was a Pats fan.

King Hippo

Men do NOT speak in the elevator.

Brick Meathook

If two guys are in an elevator and one guy farts, everybody knows who did it.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Crop dust it, baby! Let ’em know who’s boss.

*only if you can handle your own farts.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I speak all the time in the elevator, especially when it make people ill at ease.

Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Unedited church goer Jessica Hahn:

h

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

GREAT photo.

Don T

I’m more stoned than an adultress in the Bible.

Senor Weaselo

Did you have halibut that was good enough for Jehovah?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That’s a halibut comment.

Viva La Tabula Raza

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Senor Weaselo

Finally drinking my bottle of Angry Orchard Iceman from visiting Hermana Weaselo, in like late September/early October. It’s lost its potency so I’m not getting as much of the vanilla notes and toffee finish. Also what’s the cider version of bourble in case I get there?

Spur

Battlefield V is the shit. Much fun driving around in a Tank.

WCS

“Driving tanks isn’t as much fun as advertised.”

— Matt U., New York

Senor Weaselo

Goddammit, that was really good and I wish I had thought of it.

the Alpha and the Amoeba

If Fackrell doesn’t say “You just got Facked” or “Fack you” whenever he makes a play, then he’s being foolish.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Brocky

Ah I see green bay has acquired yet another white player for their fans to shower in superlatives

the Alpha and the Amoeba

Oh please, acting like we don’t shower the black players with superlatives too is just retarded.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

They nag the refs so they are na……….. never mind.

Brocky

It sounds like bitter fan worship, but trust me, its accurate

Spur

Sea-Truthers vs String Cheese Incident. Can they both lose?

Don T

This keeps being a field position battle, I’ll take Nothern Ontario Facebook updates.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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JustStopDude

How was that not PI?

the Alpha and the Amoeba

He was wearing deodorant when he buried the receiver’s face in his armpit

Mr. Ayo

How can it be interference if he caught it? smgdh

Brocky

https://youtu.be/FKrsAFWPnl4

That goldberg as Santa commercial reminds me of this masterpiece

rockingdog

bahahahah
he uses the star on top of the tree as a ninja star!!!!

Brocky

Watching that movie for the first time was magical

rockingdog

the snow has turned to rain

King Hippo

BLEERGH taking control of this game, as it should be.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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King Hippo

Ok that was pretty stupid, RW

King Hippo

I type in requests on mah keyboard like a DECENT AMERICAN and all these voice activated products can eat shit and die.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Gratliff

I like voice texting in my car, but I never use it as intended. I just shout profanity into it and listen to my car recite it back fully censored and just send the shit to whomever. It doesn’t censor the actual text, just the part where it repeats back what I said, and that amuses me greatly.

Don T

Coming soon: asking the NSA to play “I Fought the Law”. And the assholes play the country version.

Spur

Did Jimmy Graham die? Did he jokingly text A-Aron’s parents?

King Hippo

Hurt his hand, which helps a little in fantasy but not nearly enough.