Your “I Laid Off All The Limes” Saturday Evening Open Thread

Beerguyrob

Beerguyrob

A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
Beerguyrob

It’s been a strange week, so let’s start the night with a little bro-country. Cory Marks started as Cory Marquardt from North Bay, Ontario, but then he signed a US contract & now he’s “Cory Marks”.

I’ll let you guys discuss the merits of Country Music. Me – I enjoy some; tolerate most. One caveat: NO FLORIDA GEORGIA LINE!


Sunday Football Broadcast Maps – courtesy 506sports.com

CBS SINGLE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

█     Pittsburgh @ Jacksonville – Jim Nantz, Tony Romo

█     Houston @ Washington – Greg Gumbel, Trent Green, Bruce Arians

█     Cincinnati @ Baltimore – Kevin Harlan, Rich Gannon

█     Tennessee @ Indianapolis – Andrew Catalon, James Lofton

█     Denver @ LA Chargers (LATE) – Ian Eagle, Dan Fouts

█     Oakland @ Arizona (LATE) – Spero Dedes, Adam Archuleta


FOX EARLY

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

█     Dallas @ Atlanta – Kevin Burkhardt, Charles Davis

█     Tampa Bay @ NY Giants – Thom Brennaman, Chris Spielman

█     Carolina @ Detroit – Kenny Albert, Ronde Barber

█ – NO GAME due to local home game on CBS


FOX LATE

 Anchorage
 Fairbanks
 Honolulu

     Philadelphia @ New Orleans – Joe Buck, Troy Aikman

█     NO GAME due to local home game on CBS

  • LOL ARIZONA!

Tonight’s sports:

  • NHL:
    • Habs at Canucks – 7:00PM | CBC
    • Penguins at Senators – 7:00PM | Sportsnet
    • Oilers at Flames – 10:00PM | CBC
  • NBA:
    • Raptots at Bulls – 8:00PM | TSN
  • NCAA:
    • Duke at Clemson – 7:00PM | ESPN / TSN2
    • UAB at Texas A&M – 7:00PM | ESPN2
    • Kansas at Oklahoma – 7:30PM | FOX
    • Rice at LSU – 7:30PM | ESPNU
    • Cincinnati at UCF – 8:00PM | ABC
    • New Mexico State at BYU – 10:15PM | ESPN2
    • Arizona at Washington State – 10:30PM | ESPN / TSN2
  • UFC:
    • Fight Night: Magny vs. Ponzinibbio:
      • From Buenos Aires – 10:00PM | FS1 / TSN5

While I was looking up hockey matchups & bro-country, Youtube recommended 17 minutes of Islander great Billy Smith being an absolute prick to any & all. Please – enjoy.

OLD TIME HOCKEY!

Beerguyrob
Beerguyrob
A Canadian man-child of indeterminate age, he stays young by selling alcohol at sporting events and yelling at the patrons he serves. Their rage nourishes his soul, and their tips pay for his numerous trips to various sporting events.
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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I notice that none of Chick-Fil-A’s inspirational stories of assisting in family reunions or sending boats to old farts in Houston during Harvey etc don’t mention any heartwarming LGBTQ stories, at least not yet.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

You’d have to pry the fries from their cold dead chicken fingers before that would happen.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Little Leach’s Seabourne Pillagers are whoopin’ the Zonas.

WCS

Crazy Leach’s might just score 100.

yeah right

There’s this dude, Hell he’s probably younger than me, let’s say 52 and he’s been sitting at the bus stop near my house since Thursday. He’s OK, not threatening and he’s wearing a really nice pair of workboots and like some Dickies work pants and shit and he’s got a construction helmet on and a reflective vest and a bag like he’s ready for work.

And he just stands there.

He hasn’t sat as far as I can tell.

And he watches every bus go by.

Since Thursday.

I’m not certain I want to know his story because it feels really sad.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

If he’s a black man, you can be sure some alert citizen will call the police soon.

WCS

He’s got to be white, since this has been going on since Thursday.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

HEY YEAH RIGHT THAT WAS ME

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Ease up beside him and ask “What’s in the bag, bro?”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I haven’t asked that question since a girlfriend stabbed me asking what was in the bag; it was a purse and apparently none of my biddnes.

WCS

Pretty sure the entire Arizona special teams was high on that kickoff. Wow.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I wonder what song she is singing.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tove_Lo

Not sure, but I’m OK with it as an emphasis, form of expression, or just a plain titty flash.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

The first one would be improved by unshaved armpits.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

DISCO TITS!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, aren’t you a musky bastard! A man has to learn to survive in the jungle and forest as well as the desert.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Yep, give me a bush like a crow’s nest over the pedophile’s delight of a wax or shave job every time. I like the element of mystery better than the anatomy lesson.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

I don’t equate shaving with pedophilia, otherwise 50-70% of men and women today are pedophiles or complicit in it, so that is just wrong. Shaving has gone in and out of style over time, since shaving was invented. I’m fine with either, depends on what makes the woman feel hotter.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Fronkenshteen

Touch Down BYU!

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Hey everybody! None of us are gonna get laid!! (Except anal)

yeah right

I read a terrific oral history of the making of Caddyshack where Rodney Dangerfield walks on to the set for the first time slaps a huge bag of cocaine down and says…

“Where’s the pussy?!?”

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’d like to do that in a staff meeting right before I retire.

yeah right

I would like to be in that meeting and pour you a shot.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Okay, I get the cocaine part. Was there pussy?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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yeah right

Survey says?!?

YES!

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

OH YEAH?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Right.

Wakezilla

Finished watching Season 3 of Supergirl, which was pretty darn good. It went about 3 episodes too long, but the bottle neck episodes were fun an action filled. Also, they set themselves up really nice for next season

It was cool hearing Justice League: Unlimited’s voice behind Martian Manhunter portray M’yrnn J’onzz, J’on J’onzz’s father.

Fronkenshteen

Latter Day interception!

/ this is leg 10 of my 10-team parlay of the biggest moneyline favorites I could find. And I heard I won with Utah State by some horrible penalty call that wiped out a game winning Hail Mary. I’m like Sally Field at the mall in “Soapdish”.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

I hate to pass by the HAIL GAMBLOR! but I feel your Soapdish reference really needs to be unpacked a bit. What kind of existance did you live in 1991 that you could conjure such an oddity? Appologies if I’m prying.

Fronkenshteen

Ok. Firstly, “Soapdish” rules. Cool story, cool script, great actors, Teri Hatcher’s tits. When Celeste Talbert needed cheap affirmation, she went to the mall. When you’re just dying for a goddamn win, it’s fun to bet on gigantic money line favorites. You either win a handful of nickels, or you end up with a great “bad beat” story.
I opened a betting account on bet online.ag and was too stupid to know it was an international website, and after I lost my initial $25 deposit on dopey, fun parlays, I was unable to replenish my account. This week, they sent a $25 free play to me, (thinking I was playing hard to get?) which I bet on the Over on Thursday night. It hit! Giving me a free $23 balance to screw around with. Last night I got really stoned and put in a 5 team EPL parlay thinking the games were this morning. They’re next weekend. So, bored and antsy, I decided to put together a “sure winner” to get the good mojo flowing and get my chakras in tune with my kundalini before I lay my NFL action in tomorrow. 10 team parlay. $2 wins me $1.23. But I’m on a 10 game win streak! IM A WINNER!! But also, I’m sitting on the edge of my bed in my slippers, coat and hat waiting for a text to send me scuttling down my driveway to push a sandwich bag through a car window (herbals only, I assure you).
In ‘91 I was in the army. I thought I saw “Soapdish” hungover in the Sunrise Mall movie theater in Massapequa, NY, but I guess I’m mistaken.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

There’s a Sunrise Mall in Corpus Christi, TX, so maybe you were there.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Oscar Draguicevich III has become the front runner to replace the crown vacated by Equanimeous St. Brown

WCS

Is that for the throne in Prussia or Austria-Hungary?

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Aw, you just made that name up …comment image

Redshirt

Okay, Creed’s over. Let’s take a peak over at how UC’s doing…

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…yeah, that’s what I figured.

Fronkenshteen

Half of BYU’s run plays look like personal favors to congressmen. I’m not sure what I mean either.

herodotus450
herodotus450

[taps bathroom stall wall]

Fronkenshteen

My idea of a glory hole is the White Castle drive-thru delivery chute.

Redshirt

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Roy Clark died yesterday. He was a fixture on the syndicated TV show Hee Haw. He was also one of the great guitarists who came out of Washington DC back when it was a small hick town. Here’s the first episode of Hee Haw and tell me that this isn’t the Grand Ole Opry on acid, with great musicians. Loretta Lynn is the guest star.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Yes, he was great guitarist.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Just for fun:

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Well, plus that suit.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Also, Hee Haw was originally a Canadian show.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

yeah right

Motherfucker breaks the high E string and keeps on gunning!

To be honest that was a little stage trick of his because he rarely played the high E anyway.

Bad ass guitar man!

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Interesting sound with the 12.

Fronkenshteen

Did he do the “Quick-Pickin’ & Fun Strummin’” guitar lesson ads?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

That was Kenny Rodgers; “The Gambler.”

Senor Weaselo

That was Kenny Rogers with the Bat Fetcher Trick with His Teeth.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Well it doesn’t look like the Tweak12 game is going to be interesting

blaxabbath

Someone needs to make a hi-melt chocolate so i can have a damn candy bar in my car in July.

herodotus450
herodotus450

Just store your chocolate inside beer, then it wont melt.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Kansas QB is named Bender.comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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litre_cola

I really hope UCF goes undefeated this year. Back to back champs!

Redshirt

Yeah, that’s it. UC’s Gasparilla Bowl bound.

blaxabbath

Never really been a scotch man but I got a bottle of Glenlivet 18 yr that I am finding quite enjoyable.

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

“Glengoolie, for the best of times” ™comment image

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Notice the green down along the lower Atlantic seaboard where the Carolina Panthers game is broadcast. Notice how it STOPS at Charleston South Carolina. Say what you will about The South but I was a northerner stationed at the submarine base in Charleston. The difference between Charleston, Charlotte, Columbia, and Atlanta is vast. William T. Sherman was stationed in the south before the Civil War and he knew it, he got it. It is the most beautiful place in the world and the most hateful place as well, and those may be two sides of the same coin. Go there and form your own opinion.
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herodotus450
herodotus450

So Minnesota is the same level of racist as the Carolinas?
/Actually wouldn’t surprise me

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Nah, that’s the Detroit angle here. Different story.

blaxabbath

What’s the point?

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Moultrie Point

Redshirt

I’ve been to most of those places in Scout Trips and Band Trips. I can concur.

Redshirt

Like I said, they’re a year too early. JV Cincy is like when your playing a video game and you at Level 15, but you’ve accidently stumbled into a mission with a recommended level of 25, but you’re like “Fuck it. I can do it.”

Senor Weaselo

And it’s Nuzlocke mode?

herodotus450
herodotus450

Oklahoma-Kansas is approaching the upset radar

King Hippo

JV Cincy might wanna re-think placement kicking

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

*nods and prepares to have bizarre nightmares*comment image

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

makes u thinkcomment image

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

You, sobbing: You can’t just point at something and call it fascist!!

Me, pointing at bunnies: Fascist

King Hippo

they do procreate like mad, without consideration for environmental sustainability ,, smh

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

Kinda begs the question, what isn’t fascist?

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

Just Family Guy and golf, the two least fascist things ever.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

This is, unironically, one of my favorite tweets ever.

blaxabbath

Matrix

Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Redshirt

Shank’lor has money on UCF.

Inanimate Carbon Rod Marinelli

So if Kansas really is going to hire Les Miles, they may have a chance to be as good as the Mangino years.

WCS

Les needs to eat A LOT of grass before he reaches the Mangino (Waist) Line.

herodotus450
herodotus450

“Oh reeeeeealllly…”
-Germany

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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herodotus450
herodotus450

UCF’s Milton’s paradise was lost on that play, sack fumble and Cinci takes the lead.

Fronkenshteen

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This is Donald Sutherland during his John Holmes period. He took a big cash payment for appearing in Animal House rather than receive residuals from the profits because he didn’t think it would do well; he lost many $millions on that deal. The other unknown actors who played the students got paid little up front but are still cashing big checks to this day. That’s why you never saw a lot of them in films again: they didn’t have to work for the rest of their lives.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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litre_cola

Yeah Right, cooked your mother sauce and a chicken parm tonight. As always it was superb.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Mother sauce……

yeah right

Good to hear!

I did my bachelor meal of some home fries, bacon and some sunny side up eggs.

Couldn’t get too elaborate because I’m also making a pot of homemade stock for Thanksgiving and the chicken that I used is going into some chicken enchiladas for tomorrow’s Sunday Gravy.

yeah right

Today the Reedley Tigers hosted the Northern California American league championship game.
The 10 and oh Tigers played 10-1 Di Anza College.

Final score 42-41.

Di Anza.

I’m so fucking proud of this team and my nephew I can’t even start.

Hell of a fucking season Reedley! One for the goddamn books!

I’m not crying. You’re crying.

Redshirt

Great season! Tell you nephew and his teammates great job!

Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!

Congrats to your nephew, well right

Fronkenshteen

BOOOOO DANZA!!
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/ congratulations and well done to your nephew & his teammates

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

Stutterin’ Mel Tillis in there as well.

Also, you can tell that this stupid Oragutan has no real concept of what a telephone is. He’s just faking it.

Redshirt

0 plays, -10 yards. Its a Cincinnati playoff game alright!

Spanky Datass
Spanky Datass

Earlier I grilled pork chops three ways and was planning on getting several meals out of my efforts. Three (Out of 6) of the little piggies are gone and I’m sober. I figure about midnight when I’m feelin’ no pain my dumb ass will attack at least one more.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

I do that with tri-tip roasts. It should last 3 or 4 days but it’s lucky if it makes it past the first day.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

Vlad had played that stupid song for the last fucking time.

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Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

“Sorry…”comment image?w=630

Fronkenshteen

Billy Smith can go get fucked. Cheap shot chickensit motherfucker. That championship Islander team was an overrated joke. Thank god Gretzky showed up and made talent matter again in the NHL.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

My mother said this exact same thing to me yesterday on the phone, word for word.

Fronkenshteen

/Thank you for putting up with my valueless potty mouth.

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Fronkenshteen

The fact that the nurse is clearly aroused, I find…arousing?

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

“Brains are sexy.”

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

Okay, time to see Cincinnati pay for being a year ahead of schedule.

Redshirt
BrettFavresColonoscopy

I cannot wait to not watch Dallas-Atlanta

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Redshirt

This is what I love about today’s politics. I’m a believer in voters showing a photo ID when they vote to maintain the integrity of the voting process (its just common sense to me, I pull out my license every time I vote without thinking about it). If there are people that don’t have a license for money or time reasons, we can work to help them get a state ID at no cost to them.

But when I heard Trump mentioned he supports it too with his insane troll logic and fact-less accusations (“I saw one guy vote as “Dick Grayson”, run out and put on a red and green outfit and voted as “Robin” and then run out and put on a black and blue outfit and voted as “Nightwing”) and suddenly I’m not so sure about my viewpoint.

Its seems innocent enough and the logic behind it is sound, but with Trump supporting it, it feels like there’s a flaw somewhere.

Viva La Tabula Raza
Viva La Tabula Raza

I’m surprised that Trump knows who Dick Grayson and Robin are. I bet he was reading that from a teleprompter.

Redshirt

I was being facetious, but at least I showed more “proof” that Trump did.

Redshirt

Michigan player got hurt getting into a two-point stance? Okay…

herodotus450
herodotus450

Dookies holding up early vs. Clemzon

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

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Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

This book has everything.

Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!
Buddy Cole's Christmas Story!

Rangers are playing the Panthers tonight, and who led the NFL in passing the day Roberto Luongo made his NHL debut? Jim Harbaugh.

Brick Meathook
Brick Meathook

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Fronkenshteen

Why don't poor people just buy more money?: A Memoir https://t.co/cYay9ZVhV0

— jordan (@JordanUhl) November 17, 2018

https://platform.twitter.com/widgets.js

Moose -The End Is Well Nigh
Moose -The End Is Well Nigh

None of those responses will change what this idiot thinks.

Redshirt

You can’t fix stupid. Believe me, I’ve tried.

Redshirt

There’s so many things wrong about Rep. Meeks’ statement, I don’t know where to start.