Lions and Bollo-Free Bears, Oh My!

Happy Thanksgiving, one and all.  Welcome to installment one of today’s carnival.

Chi**** (-3) at Detroit (12:30, CBS)

We have replaced Bollo de la Verdad with sommet called Chase Daniel.   Yeah, I bet you did notice.  Somehow, this only moved the line 1.5 points, which I think vastly understates how key a competent titty-kisser has been to the Bearistocrats! offense.  Plus, the Cuck Lions usually turn into Fuck Lions this one, magical day every season.  This was gonna be fun fantasy watching for me, as Bollo is my Baby Buster backup (say that 5 times fast), plus I got Fat Kicker (MI) off waivers to sub for Zeuerlein.  But now I am stuck starting…Elisha.  Yikes.

This is also on CBS, thanks to the powers-that-be not shoehorning an AFC side into the turkey’s ass this year.  Somebody has to cross-flex, whether that’s their truth or nae.

Previewing today’s slate:

Also, here’s a bonus bit of music goodness for ye degenerates:

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King Hippo
Reclusive, vulgar Broncos fan. Also a proud fookin' Evertonian. Likely dropped on my head repeatedly as a small child. [Insert George Carlin quote followed by thoughtful nod.]
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Col. Duke LaCross

This isn’t even the same goddamn sport that we were watching Monday.

rockingdog

found a funny:
all the
small things
at thanks-
giving
uncle’s
racist
mom’s
high
dad’s
pissed
say it ain’t so / sweet potatoes
cousin’s now goth / hot topic clothes

Col. Duke LaCross

Just once can we get some goddamn Low Cut Connie for one of these halftime shows?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ybg-ezDmA4

yeah right

Hoo boy, almost an hour before noon and already had the “They’re not kneeling to protest the flag” conversation.

I may have to break the no beer before noon rule.

scotchnaut

Just do it. It’s Christmas, after all.

rockingdog

Do it!

Redshirt

Do it.

Game Time Decision

it’s past noon somewhere

yeah right

Alright, fuck it I’m going in.

Game Time Decision

31 minutes.
NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW RECORD

yeah right

Hello beer my old friend.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Drink and get loud about it

scotchnaut

I do like this Bears D. They scheme up good and hit like motherfuckers.

scotchnaut

You not drinking yet?

Fronkenshteen

comment image

scotchnaut

Matt Patricia looks like that guy at the bus stop that smells weird. He doesn’t smell bad, just…weird.

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

I like that they picked up the flag. If you are standing in place it should be impossible to get flagged for OPI.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Caleb Hanie cries jealously

Col. Duke LaCross

I’ve had about enough of Mizzell.

Viva La Tabula Raza

Gritty new Aquaman looks nothing like the guy I remember from the comics when I was a kid.

scotchnaut

How can he be gritty if he’s a) in water and, b) not white?

theeWeeBabySeamus

This game stinks.
Time to go make the dressing.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

What the fuck is my money league opponent doing starting Taylor Gabriel (and getting more points than me outta Jordan Howard)?

Fronkenshteen

Who’s covering Golladay so well? Stick him in the slot for chrissakes.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

That’s the kind of direction that wins AVN awards, son

Fronkenshteen

Local Food Lion now sells 2 lb. bags of “2 beef bones. I made a beef stock that you can hold in front of a window and not see through at all. What should I use it in?

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Chili.

Col. Duke LaCross

“Coffee”

A. Reid, Kansas City, MO

Fronkenshteen

HA!

scotchnaut

Bolognese sauce.

Viva La Tabula Raza

IV drip.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Dawg on Dawg violence

theeWeeBabySeamus

“Hell yeah!!!!!”

– M. Vick

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Inadvertent whistle

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“YES. NEED DOUGH.” – Andy Reid at a carnival

theeWeeBabySeamus

Needs moar powdered sugar.

Fronkenshteen

Now throw downfield to Golladay dammit!

Fronkenshteen

JUst weighed in at 233.8? Am I winning?

/ I’m losing

BrettFavresColonoscopy

I’m north of that but don’t feel like finding a scale to feel worse about myself

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

“You’re a little light, but not too far off.” – Dr. Ronny Jackson (before popping a handful of pills into his mouth)

Wakezilla

I’ve been battling depression since I moved to Calgary. I am well north of that.

BC Dick

That’s Calgary’s official municipal sport

BrettFavresColonoscopy

2 more field goals and a defensive touchdown and I can stop drinking.

litre_cola

I support this.

Fronkenshteen

Tarik now

BrettFavresColonoscopy

He was indeed open

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And then there’s that throw.

RUN THE FUCKING BALL

BrettFavresColonoscopy

If you’re a Lions DB, get the seppuku katana ready

Fronkenshteen

WHACK

Fronkenshteen

If you haven’t read about this fucking dingus yet, may I offer some fun halftime reading material/ non-political dinner table anecdote. Enjoy!
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/amphtml/world/2018/11/21/american-believed-dead-after-encounter-with-remote-indian-tribe-hostile-outsiders/

Wakezilla

Yeah, and now apparently there’s American talks to #civilize” them

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Some people just can’t comprehend the international language of “fuck off”.

BC Dick

Finally took this thurs/fri off work this year and I really don’t mind a game with punts. Every point is worth more, no? It’s like a soccer game. Pleople don’t love that game for the high scoring, it’s the massive value of each goal that makes them so good. You don’t celebrate every 2 point jumper like you do a big TD in a game where you might not see another. And… back to the beer

litre_cola

I WAS DRUNK LAST NIGHT OK!!!

BC Dick

Also. You drafted a Lions tailback? Do you have Dez Bryant starting too?

litre_cola

I am playing Senor Weaselo in the DFO league and he is in 1st so I made a large blunder.

theeWeeBabySeamus

Sharkbait and I are locked into the battle for the cellar, of course.

BC Dick

I noticed he asked about him. I thought he knew his stuff. Put the kid in a closet and get on the damn injury report

Fronkenshteen

Plus three!!!

Fronkenshteen

FUCK LIONS! That play ONLY happens for them on thanksgiving.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

This game can be ridiculous but it needs to end with a healthy Bears defense.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

CONSIDERING BLOUNT AVERAGES 2 YARDS A CARRY ITS A GOOD IDEA TO USE HIM AT 3RD AND 2 AND BELOW. OR NOT,

litre_cola

Trey Burton has been a disappointment this year.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

comment image

theeWeeBabySeamus

FOOTBALL MOVE FTW!!!!
(or rather the loss, I guess)

Rikki-Tikki-Deadly

Oh did Stafford break contain?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

At least that wasn’t Chase’s fault.

/drinks

scotchnaut

Oh that is a fine tune.

/[whispers] spirit animal

Viva La Tabula Raza

Biggest gain of the day for Bears 15 yard personal foul. nice.

...

Chase Daniel just needs to keep drawing roughing the passer penalties until they’re a yard from the end zone.

BrettFavresColonoscopy

And then Parkey can hit the upright?

litre_cola

Is Kerryon Johnson even playing?

BrettFavresColonoscopy

Carry on, then

litre_cola

FUCK.