Your Sunday Afternoon NFL Football Open Thread

More squadoos playing? You bet. TO THE GAMES!

Bengals/Chargers:

Cincy is likely to get stomped given that wr Green is done for the year and rb Mixon was limited in practice all week. On top of all that The Fecund One, Mr. P. Rivers, has placed yet another sperm bomb into Tiffany’s nether region. But perhaps this game catches the Bolts off guard, given the emotional win last week vs. Pitt and their upcoming battle with K.C.

Broncs/Niners:

The fellas that poor Nick Mullens had to lean on in the passing game go by the handles of Goodwin, Pettis and Kittles. That last guy is a tight end that has proved this year that he belongs but all I can think of is cat food when I read his name.

Eagles/Cowboys:

They came, they played, they caused people to boo uncontrollably. Philly’s running back trio of Adams, Clement and Smallwood have a collective average of 4.3 yards per carry so far this season. Each one brings a little something different to the game and it helps to keep opposing D’s a wee bit off balance. Though you wouldn’t call the Cowboys D a difference-maker they have played capably in that they’ve yet to give up 30 points in a game.

Steelers/Raiders:

Raiders have a mere 10 sacks so far this year so Ben should have all the time in the world for Brown and Smith-Schuster’s patterns to unfold. Quick! Name a player in the Raiders secondary. I thought so-if they did have someone of quality Gruden would have traded him by now.

Lions/Cards:

An inter-conference tilt that means nothing to no one.

Let’s get some soup!

 

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Romonobyl

I should be happier…a win is a win I guess.

Senor Weaselo

I was banking on get the first down, run it a few times, and Blair Walshing the chip shot. I am disappoint.

King Hippo

black guy with the green mohawk needs, like, a gay friend or something

Gratliff

Also better hands, faster closing speed, and working on his backpedal

Doktor Zymm

Oh for fucks sake

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Language… it’s Cromartie’s sake

Doktor Zymm

Oh for unexpectedly healed vas deferens sake!

Petronel

Douglas with the biggest “FUUUUCK” ever, I’m sure

Spur

Well that’s the ending this game deserves

JustStopDude

That is gut checking for Douglas. He played that just right…

Redshirt

His face when it happened was just painful to watch.

King Hippo

I can’t believe they let that asshole throw

/also RIP everything in Litre’s house

Gratliff

Well, you had a good game, refs.

Horatio Cornblower

Welp. That’s pretty much how this derptastic game should have ended.

Spur

LOLZ!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

King Hippo

fitting DERP ending

Redshirt

Wow.

Petronel

WELL THEN! Poor defender.

Gratliff

are you fucking serious

Dunstan

So, the NFL changed the OT rules several years ago because it was unfair that a team could win the coin toss and kick a FG on the first possession.

Now the NFL changed the OT rules again, shortening it to ten minutes, so that it’s possible for a team to win the coin toss, run out the clock, and kick a time-expiring winning FG on the first possession.

Uh huh. Ok.

...

I’ll never understand their rationale for shortening overtime

Mr. Ayo

PLAYER SAFETY.

lol

Horatio Cornblower

The NFL will get back to you on this, just as soon as they see the video, which they have totally not seen at any point before this, and any suggestion that they have is slander and will be met with legal action.

Doktor Zymm

Still on the ground, go tie!

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

And that was when I knew “Matthew Shepard Roleplay” was one of my hard limits.

Spur

Why do they keep running to Bennett?

Horatio Cornblower

Because La’el Collins can’t block him.

No wait, that’s a bad thing.

Redshirt

Oh my god, it could happen. Expose the flaw in OT!

King Hippo

run and kick the FG, after the 2:00 break

Mr. Ayo

Kick a FG so Philly covers.

I needs my thumbs!

Horatio Cornblower

You really only need one.
comment image

Mr. Ayo

RIP me

Gratliff

Oh my god use your time outs

litre_cola

I am putting my comp away or i will smash it. love you guys.

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Yeah I smashed my old Dell. Couldn’t never get that stuff out of the CD drive

Horatio Cornblower

That one was for Hippo.

Gratliff

jesus fuck. it’s gonna be a 10 minute fg drive

Redshirt

THIS!

Spur

He got it

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

I heard if play Joe and Troy while pregnant, you kid will have poor short term memory and be preoccupied with his hair.

Unsurprised

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King Hippo

continue running Zeke. Every play.

Horatio Cornblower

So if Dallas fails here, all Philly has to do is kick a FG, right?

If I know this, why doesn’t Garrett?

Dunstan

Usually a fan of going for it on 4th and short, but this seems questionable

King Hippo

what do I always say? the naked bootleg always works

litre_cola

this is ballsy

Redshirt

Dallas knows they only go to Double OT in the playoff, right?

Mr. Ayo

Just kick the FG you cowards

Spur

oh shit

Gratliff

Oh my god this play

Horatio Cornblower

What?

King Hippo

the next 6 plays should be runs to Zeke

Redshirt

No, idiot. If a defense has given up over 500 yards, they haven’t given what they got.

Horatio Cornblower

Tyron Smith needs to think long and hard about coming back next year. He looks terrible when he can even stay on the field.

Horatio Cornblower

Mind you, I like the guy, but he has taken a beating the last couple of years.

litre_cola

I cannot express myself properly.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, you’re an Eagles fan, so…

Buddy Cole's Halftime Show

Hope you like batteries

Horatio Cornblower

I actually need a few. I’m hoping he throws a few live ones at me.

King Hippo

when in doubt, throw a flag! The public wants to see youuuuuu!!!

Ref, Teh Musical

Gratliff

It’s like they get 2 plays to score and just collapse immediately if it doesn’t work

Horatio Cornblower

Jason Garrett over here thinking this game could use a few more bubble screens.

Mr. Ayo

Clap clap!

King Hippo

– summary of Zeke’s physical

King Hippo

PRO TIP – If Zeke needs a break, you call timeout

King Hippo

they should pre-empt the OT with replays of the LOLfin Lateral

Horatio Cornblower

After this game I have to pay some bills, and I’m more looking forward to that than I am the rest of the game.

Redshirt

These two teams deserve to kiss their sisters.

Horatio Cornblower

Well, one is from Texas…

Viva La Tabula Raza

Ahem, Texans tend more to fucking their livestock than their siblings. Not Appalachia down here you know.

Horatio Cornblower

WE HAVE STANDARDS!!!
-El Paso

King Hippo

#WithTongue

Mr. Ayo

#WithTeeth

–Deserved Ex

King Hippo

that corn on the cob fantasy, eh?